AMBITIONS

It’s cold today – not in a bitterly cold … yet … but, it is cold. It will in the mid-30’s by nightfall, and 27 degrees by sunrise tomorrow: there will be frost glazing my world when I greet it in the morning.

However, for the moment, in this moment, I am looking past tomorrow morning and towards Spring activities.

I’ll still be gardening.

I’ll be gardening until I can’t do it anymore: but, I also want to expand my horizons when it comes to daytrips and roadtrips.

And pray to God that this option will still be available to me after January 2021 dawns. The obama-biden-pelosi-harris cartel isn't very promising for a hopeful future.

Bob and I used to get out and about every month – sometimes several times a month, depending on available $$$ and speculated destinations.

Most of those daytrips, and roadtrips, were deep into the backcountry.

I love being in the backcountry … and Bob knew all the backcountry in the WA & OR states.

I still love the backcountry.

Getting into the backcountry is tricky now.

I do not know the routes Bob used to drive (he knew 150 routes to reach 1 place: very confusing to me); and Bob knew how to read the landscape. He never got turned around, or lost. Bob was my personal human computer and GPS.

Now Bob is gone, and I am leery of heading into the wilderness solo lobo.

I do have GPS tracking in the car and on the phone – but they are unreliable when it comes to accurately getting someplace I have programmed into their data banks.

And the backcountry wilderness areas are exactly that: uncivilized. There is no one to help you in a pinch. Traffic is spotty, and the nearest town is literally hours away.

So.

That avenue of adventuring is no longer an option for a solo lobo widow.

I have to think with practicality now.

I have to plan more specifically.

I have to rethink how I like to adventure.

I’m going to have to stick to the foothill regions of my beloved mountainous areas, and try to like being a lowland girl.

The lowlands are a much safer place to explore when you are companionless.

Yes – there is still the possibility I may get lost … but the lowlands are civilized areas: gas stations (gas and on-the-spot information when required), auto repair available if I need it, hotels if I misjudge the mileage or burn through my gas with endless country reroutes – and need to hole up for the night (and risk looking totally incompetent when handed my key-card: Bob always handled reservations, door key pickup, Wifi code/password access): all necessary stuff for a solo lobo widow trying to rebuild confidence and trying to recapture some semblance of excitement and enjoyment out of a fragmented life.

I have to rethink alternate enjoyment destinations, and psych myself into giving them an honest ‘try’.

I have to consider the “what if’s” – even if I do not live my life solely in the realm of ‘what if’.

Bob believed I was capable of doing anything – those were his last words to me, “Honey, you and I both know … anything you set your mind to do is as good as done”. His encouragement is a welcome echo 😉

I will, over my 5-month-hiatus period from now until March, be gathering destination(s) information (only 2 familiar states for now); and trying to figure out time and mileage from here to there.

I’ll have to gather information about the landscape and possible weatherwise situations that may … or may not … become a concern enroute.

Bob would know this stuff: I am not Bob.

Most people were learning this stuff in their 20’s: in MY 20’s, I was juggling a husband, 2 kids (1 of them with autoimmune issues; both of them ADHD); dealing with an overbearing MIL, a crazy ex-wife, and a bullying BIL. We were not able to start enjoying vacations – or even a mini vaca – until the grandkids came along; and those were camping events which we all enjoyed. Honestly, hotel stints didn’t occur until Bob retired 7 years ago, and camping was becoming difficult for us.

So, there is a lot I have to learn.

And I will be getting a crash course lesson.

I will have to work out an ‘adventuring budget’ (thankfully, financial matters were always my responsibility in our marriage, so I’m good with that), without Bob’s seeing-into-the-future insight (I’m not so good at figuring the ‘what if’s’ – that was always Bob’s thing; extra clothing considering the region, extra $$$ considering road incidents - anything unforeseen). I will need to be on my toes so I am not taken advantage off; in any way/sense/form enroute, or at destination point.

I know how to read maps … but I do get thrown for a loop when detours change the mapped route. County Roadwork always takes place during heavily traveled Spring and Summer months – always. It’s like counties live to make it nearly impossible to enjoy visiting new places and funnel some of your $$$ into those new places.

Detours didn’t bother Bob.

But detours do bother me.

Anyway …

From now until March, I am going to be looking into new adventures, jotting the info down, and working out a budget to make those adventures a reality. Then, I am going to write the place names on slips of paper – place them in a lidded jar – and when March comes around, pluck a slip of paper out and head off in that direction: I will do this as long as there are slips of paper in the jar, the $$$ is available, and the weather permits.

This new ambition is way different than the way Bob and I always started our adventures.

But, e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. is way different that what we used to do, since Bob has been gone.

I have to roll with that difference.

I have to realistically start piecing a new life together.

As more and more of my life with Bob falls away from me, I have to let it go … and set my face and thoughts towards a new life.

A new life I never anticipated, and don’t want.

A new life that I have got to make lasting peace with, embrace, and start living as each day unfolds.

The new ambitions will be different.

The new ambitions can be exciting.

The new ambitions are scary.

New ambitions: totally doable.

That feature of my new life settled, tonight I started reading a new book. It’s one of the books I bought at garage sales this past Summer. It’s a thin book, and it reads quickly.

I’ll probably finish reading it later on in the bedroom (if it lasts that long), and be ready to start a new book tomorrow 😉

CHILL & Stuffed Baked Potatoes Recipe

36-degrees, and getting colder by the minute – and not just weather-wise.

Life seems decidedly chillier.

Sometimes just thinking about all the ways my life has changed in 22 short months, is like inhaling frosty cold air … and immediately feeling your teeth ache.

I needed a distraction from the endless obamanite madness, and the descending darkness riding the coattails of the obama-clinton-pelosi-biden-harris trainwreak plowing its way across America; and causing a great deal of damage as it bullies its unwanted presence into our lives.

biden-harris trainwreck. The unholy trio.

The price was low: legalize drugs, keep people too stoned to be cognizant ~ the cost of Freedom will be very high …

September through December is always going to be a crap shoot period in the forward momentum of my life; there will never be an easy way to get through those 106 days.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raVMb0xhRsI)

Having the obamanite coup boldly making things worse, is not welcome.

It’s frustrating.

It’s angering.

It’s just plain wrong: in every way imaginable.

Already, people who have strong objections to the obama-biden-harris charade have lost their jobs: again, censorship is in full force, and the INtolerant demonrats are applying political thumb screws and forcing compliance; it is shades of obama’s first coup d’état all over again.

It is 3^rd world/banana republic tactics.

I feel like I am living in Hell.

So, today I baked the baker potatoes I bought last week.

I like enjoying a baked potato 😉

I baked all 6 of them … and I stuffed each half with a different stuffing.

Cooled enough to safely handle.

Potato skins scooped out.

Each stuffing tastes as good as it looks in print 😉

I stuffed the potato halves from the right side of the cookie sheet layout, first: that was the easiest way to do it so, that is the way I proceeded.

Tasty assortment freeze bound ... from R to L – Caramelized Onion, Mushroom-Onion, French Onion, Cheddar-Chive, Irish, Garlic Oil, Guacamole, Salsa Verde, Cilantro-Lime, Samosa, & Curry Butter.

The recipes are as follows – EA recipe MAKES 4 STUFFED POTATOES.

I broke the recipes down to ½ cooked/scooped potato = 12 individual flavored potatoes.

Potato flesh ready to be prepared for stuffing ...

These stuffed potatoes can be eaten as a main course with a side of salad and a roll … or they can be eaten as a side dish to accompany a main course meat dish; which is what I am going for.

I have not made my meat dishes yet, but these potatoes are done – and in the freezer setting up before being individually wrapped/labeled.

Frozen potatoes do loose some of their fresh-baked-texture, but they work for me … and they taste a whole LOT better than the frozen ones you buy in store-bought freezer meals.

What I do is freeze the potatoes, then add them, wrapped in foil, to my freezer meals; remove them from the foil freezer pan and bake them separately (about half an hour before placing them back into the foil pan and continuing the regular cook time for my freezer meals, which is about half an hour to reheat make-ahead-prepared meals) on the day I want to eat them; because they are too thick to heat all the way through in the 35-40 minutes it takes to reheat my freezer meals. It takes more time to do things this way, but like I said in the previous paragraph: they taste a whole lot better than store-bought freezer meals. For me, it is worth it.

I also combined all the ingredients before stuffing my skins; it’s just easier to freeze that way. When I wrap the frozen stuffed potato, I label it with what is further needed – like ‘sour cream’, ‘chopped tomato’; ect.

The recipes are as follows:

CARMAMELIZED ONION – Cook 1 large thinly sliced Onion in a skillet with 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil and ¼ teaspoon Salt, until caramelized; about 30 minutes.

Onions being 'caramelized'.

Spoon onto baked potatoes. Top with Sour Cream (Plain Yogurt can be substituted).

MUSHROOM-ONION – Prepare the Caramelized Onion topping in previous recipe; sauté 2 cups sliced Mushrooms in Olive Oil until soft.

Chantarelle mushrooms cooking.

Add chopped Dill, and Salt.

Mushroom stuffing.

Spoon onto potatoes; top with the Onion mixture, Sour Cream (Plain Yogurt can be substituted), and more Dill.

FRENCH ONION – Prepare the Caramelized Onion topping in previous recipe; scoop the flesh out of the 4 potatoes, and mash with the Onion mixture, ¼ cup Beef Broth, and ½ cup shredded Gruyere (Swiss Cheese can be substituted).

French - Onion stuffing.

Stuff this mixture into the skins. Top with more cheese, and broil to melt.

CHEDDAR-CHIVE – Scoop the flesh out of 4 baked potatoes; mash with ¼ cup Butter (for each potato), Sour Cream, chopped Chives, 2/3 cup grated Cheddar Cheese: stuff mixture into the skins.

Cheddar-Chive stuffing.

Top with more cheese, and broil to melt.

IRISH – Cook 4 sliced Leeks and ½ head small Cabbage in Butter, until soft. Add 1 cup Milk; simmer 10 minutes.

I don't mind spending time in the kitchen –even when my thoughts always bounce around.

Scoop the flesh out of 4 baked potatoes and mash with the cabbage mixture: stuff into the skins.

Irish stuffing is kinda 'sloppy' in texture.

Top with grated Cheddar Cheese and broil to melt.

GARLIC OIL – Cook 8 sliced Garlic cloves in ½ cup Olive Oil until golden in color; add Salt and chopped Parsley. Drizzle over potatoes.

Garlic Oil stuffing.

GUACAMOLE – Mash 2 Avocados, 1 Tablespoon EA Lime Juice/diced Red Onion/chopped Cilantro, ½ teaspoon minced Jalapeno, and Salt; Spoon onto baked potatoes.

Guacamole stuffing. Colorful!

Top with chopped Tomato.

SALSA VERDE – Coarsely puree 2 cups Parsley, 2 Scallions. 2 garlic cloves, 2 Tablespoons Capers, 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard, 1/3 cup Olive Oil, the zest and juice of ½ a Lemon, and Salt and Pepper. Drizzle on baked potatoes.

CILANTRO-LIME – Mix ½ cup Sour Cream, the zest and juice of 1 Lime, ¼ cup chopped Cilantro, and Salt & Pepper; spoon onto baked potatoes, top with Salsa.

SAMOSA – Cook 1 chopped Onion, 1 Tablespoon EA Curry powder and minced Ginger, and 1 teaspoon Mustard Seeds in Olive Oil. Scoop the flesh out of 4 baked potatoes; mash with the onion mixture, ¼ cup chopped Cilantro, and 1 cup Peas.

Samosa stuffing. Colorful and pungently tasty.

Stuff into the skins; top with Plain Yogurt.

CURRY BUTTER – Toast 1 teaspoon Curry powder in a skillet. Mash with 1 stick soft Butter, the zest of 1 Lime, and Salt: spoon onto baked potatoes and mash into the flesh.

I’m a spoon licker (I can do that in my own house; there is just me now 😉), and I can testify that these recipes are ALL DELISH!

Now I just have to get busy cooking some meat meals to eat these tasty spuds with :-D

Putting my feet up, and relaxing – I saw that the setting sun had backlit the gray clouds; the sight inspired me.

As I looked at the sliver of fading sun rays, gilding the topside of the gray clouds seen from my side of the skyscape … I could see that the flipside was brilliantly favored.

Sundown.

That image, outside my livingroom window so seemed to mimic life unfolding in the moment: all I could see was a rolling bank of thick gray clouds and a darkening atmosphere. But there was also bright light bouncing off the gloaming, that gave a lift to the spirit; and backlit the horizon.

So much like life unfolding in the moment.

Dark days have come to America – trust Elohim. 

For better or for worse, my life – every aspect of my life is what it is. The tasty potatoes will feed my physical body, but it is up to me how I play the game of Life I have been thrust into.