Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Thursday, September 24, 2020

BLACK & BLEU

My laptop died a year ago, and I started using Bob’s – about 6 weeks ago, I noticed that Bob’s laptop was losing juice: it started holding even at 54% charge; so, I’ve been leaving it plugged in ‘round the clock, hoping to keep it alive long enough to track down and purchase a replacement battery.

Hoping a replacement battery is available: I really want to keep this laptop as long as I can. It is Bob’s laptop; it is a tangible piece of the life Bob lived.

I do not want to replace this laptop unless I absolutely have to.

So, this morning, I decided to take Bob’s laptop into town and see about getting a replacement battery.

The sky was heavy with rain-saturated black clouds.

I drove to Office Depot, downtown, in the Triangle Mall center.

As I was waiting in line to be helped, another customer pointed out that overhead signs were indicating liquidation sales. What?

Obviously, there would be no help available for what I needed.

So, I got out of line and walked back to the Highlander.

About then the clouds began to leak in earnest with heavy drops of pavement pelting wet missiles: they had a decidedly blue tinge to them. Office Depot was the last computer store in town – the other had closed shop 3½ years ago. Bob had driven to Janzen Beach Mall, in Oregon to buy the laptop I am hoping to find a fix for.

Darn it!

With Office Depot closing, the necessity for me to engage in dreaded big city driving is becoming crucial.

Help me, Yeshua.

My thoughts started darting all over the place … is there a computer store in Centralia? I’d rather risk the freeway to Centralia, than Vancouver, Portland, Tacoma, or Seattle. I’d rather avoid ALL freeway travel, but if I have to drive the freeway – I’d rather end up closer to home, than further away.

Centralia is closer.

Centralia from Longview. 47 mins via I-5 N

And the streets should be easier to navigate: please, Elohim!

But, right now, the closest thing to what I need, and who may be able to help me now was in Kelso: so, that’s where I headed.

Along the route, I noticed several businesses were setting up sidewalk sandwich boards announcing more liquidation sales – I was not happy to see that. I honestly so not know if our great Nation can rebound from the disastrous political games the demonrat governors have forced on The People.

Washington State has struggled for decades since logging and fishing was sidelined … the technological and eco-‘friendly’ businesses that promised ‘lots of job opportunities’ never caught on here; they were quick flash-in-the-pan failures statewide.

And that empty-headed, black-hearted, goose-stepping demonrat nazi party liner media whore, inslee, has pretty much destroyed our economy, and our communities with all the asinine mandates he has ordered since March of this year.

It was still raining buckets of water from overhead, but I got some news inside that felt like warm rays of sunshine :-D

They can and will order me a battery if and when I really need one … right now, I can continue using the laptop “as is”, even at the mid-% holding charge; and when I asked if they could retrieve pictures from the old hard drives Bob had hung onto, they said they could – the service gal texted her partner to get me an accurate quote of what to expect for prices.

There is a replacement battery still available on the market – new, not used – and the price seemed reasonable.

While I was standing around and waiting for the return text concerning the retrieval fees, I laughed when I saw this pic tacked to the wall:

Computer humor ...

I left the store walking on a nice white, dry, fluffy cloud 9.

I called my granddaughter, Alyna, when I got inside the car. I wanted to let her know that I took her up on her advice, and looked into a replacement battery – and had found a place that could do that for me when the time came to get it done … I plan on doing that sometime in the Spring of 2021: I am making plans that will include the necessity of a replacement battery.

Everything was going well with the phone convo: until my little grandson wanted to talk with me – I was okay with that; Stacey was not.

As soon as Azariah said he missed me and wanted me to come for a visit, I expected the interruption, and rude intrusion; so, I was prepared.

It happened right on cue.

She can’t help herself.

She insinuated herself into the conversation, tried to make me feel bad … and angrily ended the call.

Normally, I would have been reduced to tears, wondering what I had done – and called back to ask why she hung up the phone: pleading to be allowed to continue talking with my grandson.

But, things have changed.

I don’t care anymore what her reasons are.

When I heard dead air instead of Aza’s voice, I surprised myself when all I did was just looked at the phone – slip it into the dash niche; turn the ignition on and drive away.

I don’t care anymore what her fickle reasons are for treating me badly.

She has to live with herself.

She has to explain to her children why she’s a miserable bitch.

I’m done.

I’m done apologizing for whatever imagined slights she feels.

I’m done groveling to enjoy my grandchildren.

I’m done crying over the weight of baseless fickle abuses she heaps on my shoulders.

I’m done trying to fit into a life she has closed the door on.

I.a.m.d.o.n.e.

I am healing.

I decided I needed tangible comfort.

I drove to Country Folks Deli for lunch 😉

It was busy, but I found a booth and settled in to wait for a waitress to notice me.

This is good news for me; and it gives me time to save $$$ towards eventual replacement.
Already looking towards 2021 Goals ðŸ˜‰
I enjoyed talking with the grandkids: brief as it was.
Aza asked me to come visit: not gonna happen any time soon. As I mentioned in July, I can stay away if my grandkids are going to be traumatized.(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2020/07/education-of-road-virgin.html)
Apparently, now, Stacey is putting an end to phone calls too: ON ALYNA’S PHONE no less! Alyna is 25, Aza is 6. Stacey is overbearing ...
Country Deli lunch - comfort food for comfort.

My waitress eventually found her way to my booth, and I ordered a Black & Bleu Burger – I normally have a Reuben this time of year, but a Reuben today would have had me thinking of the Reubens Alyna makes in the German Deli she manages … and I didn’t want to have my emotions taken hostage when I was doing so well at pushing the blackness away. Even though the perimeters of my emotions were edged in blue, I did not want to be fighting tears in public; I knew biting into a Reuben sandwich would do me in.

So, I steered clear of the Reuben, and got a burger.

Maybe I will be brave enough to make the drive to get a Reuben made by Alyna’s own hands sometime in 2021 … maybe.

Menu - I got the Black & Bleu Burger w-Beer Batter Fries.

The Name of the burger fit the mood of the bruising end of the earlier phone call, but it really is delicious; and I was anticipating the pungency of the bleu cheese, tasty bacon, and grilled onions topping: perfect food fare for a Fall day 😉

With everything topsy-turvy, I don't need Stacey's hate in my life.
I'm not the only grandparent that doesn't get to see their grandchild.
I am so thankful Elohim loves me … it is a great comfort.
Stacey is engaging in a revenge scenario; she is driving herself crazy with misguided hate.
Honesty is not Stacey's strong point. And I am not going to let her hate ruin my days anymore.

My lunch arrived – and it tasted as delicious as it looks :-D

Soul Food 😉 Black & Bleu Burger; for once Stacey did not make me cry – and I ate without forcing my food down over a lump in my throat ... I am healing.

I’ve lost significant weight over 21 months’ time.

I’ve toned all of my body, all of 2019.

I am wearing clothes that were regulated to the back of the closet and bottom dresser drawer for years because they were too tight … now they are kinda loose (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD8JfkD9jm8): I don’t think today’s lunch will do that much damage to all the good …

I ate with a clear conscious 😉

When I got back home, I took the opportunity of a break between rain showers, to go out and harvest everything that was ripe for the picking:

A small harvest, big in nutrients :-D

And I called a window-washing-gutter-cleaning business and set a time for them to come, estimate; and make an appointment for a November cleaning. Bob was meticulate about making sure the gutters were cleared and in top shape before Fall got too far underway; I’m trying to keep to that regimen – but that moron, inslee, keeps getting in the way of things that need to get done.

I also called another business to get someone to come help me with my printer – the guy will be coming tomorrow to see what needs to be done to get it up and running again. I hope it’s a simple fix he will be able to do, without too much running back and forth between downtown and here to get it running smoothly.

Bob would know what needs to be done; and he’d do it.

I don’t know, so I need to hire someone.

The hired help will be spendy, but worth it for my sanity’s sake – I am tired of asking friends and family that can’t find time to free up time to actually be of any real help to me in my hour of need: these things need hands-on-help … not phone convo guesstimates and no-show frustration.

I’ve had 21 months of black and blue interactions – my heart, my emotions, and my thoughts can’t take any more.

I really, really miss my Mr. Fixit man …

I love you, Babe.

Bob; always my ray of sunshine. 2006

Always ~ OX