I'll Meet You There ...

Thursday, May 30, 2019


So ...
I again, just a few minutes ago tonight, walked to our bedroom and smelled Bob's scent as I crossed the threshold from hallway to bedroom. This phenomenon happened the 1st time 2 weeks ago - and freaked me out!
I cleaned the entire house today - all I should be smelling is cleaning supplies odors - and coughing because some of those are pretty potent when the windows get closed again.
I cleaned pretty good too, getting our home ready for Shabbat Rest & Visiting Angels tomorrow evening.
There is a definite familiar scent wafting around our bedroom room tonight. And it is counteracting the cleaning supplies odors.

I love you, Babe.


Last night I went to sleep thinking that this morning I really needed to further document what took place in the park office yesterday morning because Candy will twist the situation to her own ends if I don’t keep her straight. She has a problem with realities, so she needs to be reminded of them.

So, this morning, I drafted another letter to her and drove into town to mail it … NO WAY was I going to go through another morning with her mental instability like I went through 2 days ago! (http://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/05/retirement-was-short-lived.html)

May 30th, 2019

Candice Scott
Heron Pointe Park

I came to the Heron Pointe Office May 28th, 2019 to assure you my Space Rent money had been paid and that if, there was any problem with it not showing up as you said it had not recently, to please let me know and I will have my Bank sort it out – I personally talked to a representative at Red Canoe Credit Union face-to-face yesterday while in town; and was told “yes, Mrs. Hargand, your payment has been sent out.” I asked that since I had paid the rent on May 23rd, would you receive it by the 1st of June because the Park Manager is very picky about it being in her hands when it is due the 1st of every month and she has sent out messages that rent is to be paid before the weekend because she hates working the weekends. The woman at Red Canoe Credit Union told me that Heron Pointe also has an account with Red Canoe and that you should be familiar with the way the Bank operates, “and Heron Pointe will get it when they get it.” So you should receive it shortly, weekend or not.

While I was in the Office, May 28th, you also made it very clear to me that any further face-to-face meetings with you would be met with volatile hostility emanating from you – which, of course, makes me defensive. It is simply impossible for the 2 of us to be in the same room at the same time for any reason or for any length of time.

You shouted at me the other day that I am the “only person in Park making demands”. You know that is a lie. Apparently Ron Cook has been making demands and complaining because I have letters from you to me confirming those facts. The complaining started before your August visit to our home on his behalf … which ended tragically for us. You told both my husband and myself that he had made several complaints to you about us: we did not know that he was complaining to you, as well as complaining to us – we were simply trying to get along with a cantankerous neighbor, doing what we could to calm him down and stay out of his way. When I asked you to bring Ron over so we could sort the matter out, you refused – which gave Ron a clear license to continue to harass and malign us. Specifically me; for whatever reason he thought he had. And you continued to take up his cause, turning a deaf ear to me, and accusing me on May 28th, 2019 of forcing Ron to sell his house. Your words were, “YOU are the reason Ron is selling his house!” I reminded you then – and I remind you today – that Ron was talking to us of selling eventually his house as soon as we moved into our house. And our neighbors, here on Pheasant Lane also knew that Ron would be selling his house, because he had talked to them about it before we even moved to Heron Pointe. So your hostile accusation the other day was not factual. It was intended to add injury to insult. It was childish, but it was not factual.

In a letter from you to me on August 29th, 2018, you insisted on written plans for landscaping already cleared by the previous manager, Roberta Rhodes: you further insisted, in the same letter, that Ron be given “enough set-back distance from your side boundaries so that he may use that portion of his property without causing damage to your plants.” Obviously Ron had been complaining and you were making insistences on his behalf. WE were not complaining … we knew that we were not infringing on Ron’s property in any way. But you did not know that because you never bothered to check it out as we had asked you to do in that fateful meeting you made to our home in August. You simply took Ron’s complaints to heart because “he has been here longer.” We found out later that Ron and his family had not been in his home for very long at all. And already he was talking to the people on Pheasant Lane about eventually selling and moving. I was in NO WAY implicated in those talks because we had not yet moved to Heron Pointe.

So, my husband, though being told he was dying, submitted a landscaping plan to you that you could personally sign off on to keep you off my back and to shut Ron Cook up. I drew up the plan already agreed to by Roberta Rhodes, we signed it, Bob in severe pain but wanting to make sure I would not be the main focus of your spite after he was dead, personally submitted it to you in the Office so you could “officially” put your signature on it. You did so September 20th, 2018 … with an insistence that we give Ron Cook a foot of our property because he was afraid of my tomatoes and apples. To keep the peace, we did so. Bob went back into ER and never came back home alive again.

You sent me a letter dated December 19th, 2018 stating that you had “written a letter to Mr. Cook” in which you said you “reminded him to make sure nothing of his encroaches on your property.” In same said letter, you said that the picture I submitted concerning the disputed bricks Ron had run complaining to you about, “does not show exactly where the property line is because it was taken at the wrong angle. It does look like a typical lot divider found around the community.” Again, taking Ron’s complaints as gospel and refusing evidence otherwise. I let it go – what was the point: you were taking Ron’s side no matter what.

Remembering that previous letter mentioned, and knowing that you needed a picture showing clear boundary lines, I came to the Office May 28th, 2019 to show you a picture I had taken that morning of clear evidence that he had recently sprayed Round-Up on his property – and up to the boundary line where overspray was clearly shown to be on my property, damaging my property with a toxin I did not authorize and was not aware of until I was watering my garden that morning, would you please talk to Ron about it: you went ballistic, accusing me of forcing Ron to sell his house and flat out refusing to talk to him about the overspray because he was moving in 2 weeks and everyone in the Park is complaining about my window blinds being up and they feel spied on. You also brought up an insinuation that because my friend David, and I, had in January 2019 moved my planter boxes 14” over onto my side of my property, that Ron’s overspray was MY fault because I had moved my boxes to satisfy you and Ron’s 12” insistence he be given full use of his property at my husband and my expense. I am not sure how you calculate 12-inches given with a 2-inch spare, a fault of mine that Ron damaged my property with toxic overspray, but in all truth, Candy, I am not sure how your brain works on any given issue any day of any week. It seems to me that it operates on the same wave length as Ron Cook’s.

Wow – what a violently hostile unload of what you really think about me! All I calmly asked you to do was to talk to Ron about the overspray. Your violent hostility and ridiculous attempt to shame me for Ron’s outlandishly rebellious behaviors pushed me into defense mode, and I thought it better to record any further threats; and to ask you again to speak to Ron. Again you refused, until finally mockingly telling me you would call him again in a tone making it clear you were trying to get rid of me by trying to placate me. I was not amused by your clownish behavior. I actually felt sad for you.

So I canvassed the entire Park, talking to people and asking them face-to-face if they had a problem with me, or with my blinds being open. People’s reactions were that they were flabbergasted and surprised that you would say they had issues with me of any kind. Every one I spoke to said, “there is someone in the Park that hates you enough to make trouble for you”. I agree. And I know who those 2 are: you and Ron Cook.

Ron is moving, so that leaves just you that hates me enough to cause trouble for me.

As I have said before, my husband, on his death bed told me to “keep the house.” I am doing my best to honor him. He was a good man, and he saw the best in everyone even when they were stabbing him in the back and finally killing him with their ridiculous spitefulness.

I get along with everyone in the Park, Candy. Everyone.

You and Ron are the ONLY 2 that have issues with me that cannot be calmly be resolved. For whatever reason. I have asked you to get along with me. But from your violent hostile outburst the other day, it is obvious that will never happen on your end. That is sad because I will be here a very long time. Unless, of course, you get rid of me by having me thrown out of the Park on trumped up charges, which would be the final sadness.

I am sending you this letter today so you can file it in your file you say you have for your Lawyer on hold concerning me. I want it documented. I want it known that I have tried to defuse the animosity between the 3 of us and that you, for whatever reason you felt, have ALWAYS sided with Ron Cook, even to the point of accusing me of forcing him to sell his house when everyone on the entire street we live on knows that he had intended to sell from the get-go. I want the FACTUAL contents of this letter to be filed so there is no confusion whatsoever of what has been taking place.

And I will, from this day forward, make sure that I do not come to you for any reason.

I do not know how I will be able to do that if it is imperative that matters be attended to that the Park Manager needs to be aware of – matter like you keep mentioning in the Newsletters you send out concerning the safety and well-being of Park residents you said you needed to be appraised of; but you have made it very clear that any concerns of mine concerning Park issues are no concern of yours: and that if anything does happen in the Park, it is my fault. That mindset of yours towards me needs to be documented.

I was not aware that I had the power to affect everything, everywhere, at all times.

And others in the Park were surprised too.


That done, I stopped at Lowe’s on the way back home and picked up 8 concrete pavers to finish the borderline walkway with; and I finished laying them out as soon as I got home. The border is now clearly marked, and I am hoping the new neighbors will respect that; Ron Cook never did:

PAVERS to finish the border walkway.

Pavers laid in place, and a few weeds pulled from the river rock as I made my way around the house and back inside, I was determined to get my floors mopped today, with no more delay. I had intended to have them done a few days ago, but weather (I have to have the windows open when cleaning due to asthma complications), the holiday, and Candy's never-ending insanity dominated the first part of this week: the only {open} day I could really do it was this morning.

And my floors are pretty again. Hallelujah!

CLEAN FLOORS! No more plaster dust and street dust coming in thru the open windows hiding their prettiness ...

But as soon as I reached the kitchen to do that floor, my Swiffer Jet mop quit! WTHeck? My mind worked through different scenarios to try to figure it out. I finally settled on, ‘It doesn’t need to be plugged in, so it must operate on batteries.’ Darn it! I wish I had paid more attention to Bob when he was putting things together for me to use! I don’t know if it actually uses batteries or not, and my SIL can’t remember if hers used batteries, or not, either. TIMES LIKE THIS is when it is good to have a man in the house. But I am not going to start shopping for a husband replacement so that my Swiffer Jet can be sorted out. I looked my Swiffer Jet over from top to bottom and saw screw holes in the handle – but I was not strong enough to get the screws unscrewed: I managed to get one out, but the others had been so thoroughly screwed in that I was afraid I would strip them and they would end up being worthless. So I put my screwdriver down, and reached for my phone to call my 3 back-up guys, hoping 1 of them would be available. Mike is working, David was the other side of the State getting ready to fish for Walleye (and I hope he gets lucky and gets his fish ;-)); and Kerry can come this weekend – which is fine, I did the floor with an alternative method, and when Kerry pulls the screws out of the handle to determine if the thing uses batteries nor not, I will screw the screws back in tight enough to hold the handle together, but loose enough that my go-to guys do not have to keep bailing me out. If I have to replace the Swiffer Jet, I can do that – but I’d rather not if I don’t have to …

Bob tightened the screws so tight, even Hercules would have trouble getting them out ... so I called Kerry. LOL
I managed to get one screw out, but was afraid I would strip the screws. David is out of town; Kerry can come help this weekend.
GRANITE CLEANER to finish the kitchen floor with - I just sprayed it on the floor and mopped it up. Thanks Chris!

While the kitchen floor was drying, I had a cup of coffee, checked my FB Page, and steeled myself to correct the incorrect time on the Weather Forecaster. Again, Bob had set it up, and I did not pay attention because I was busy doing something else; so when it went on the fritz a month and a half ago, I had no idea how to update the time. Today it got done :-D

I found these instructions looking for the errant Swiffer Jet instructions. I never found the SJ instructions, but boy was I GLAD to find these instructions! For a month and a half it has consistently been 10:40 a.m. on the Forecaster Monitor - today the time was set for 2:40 p.m., the correct time at that time :-D
((((Whoop-whoop)))) I successfully changed settings myself!

I am beat; it has been an extremely b.u.s.y.d.a.y. for me here on the home-front and I was not up to standing up any longer than necessary, and especially not up to cooking. And I didn’t feel up to driving across town to pick up an order of Fried Liver either at the Indy Way Diner. So I made a trip to my garden area and cut some Deer Tongue Lettuce which was really too young to cut yet, and made myself a chicken and cheese sandwich for Dinner:

DEER TONGUE LETTUCE - I cut some for Dinner
Peppered Chicken, Cheddar Cheese & Deer Tongue Lettuce Sandwich; BBQ Stax Potato Chips, & Blueberry Yogurt. Supper tonight.
Pretty, red, MASCARA LETTUCE - I can't wait for this one to mature enough to dig into!

I think I am going to kick back and veg out tonight - watch some back-n-white noir movies on Youtube while I crochet some new chair leg booties for my dining room chairs with the campy flamingo chair pads ;-) (http://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/05/period-of-adjustment.html)

Wednesday, May 29, 2019


Today I went to Keenager's - a local Senior Luncheon at the Baptist Church. I am not Baptist, neither was Bob - but his whole family is, so we used to go together. Now I go alone.
I decided to go by route of Old Pacific Highway, so I could have a peaceful, scenic drive, instead of the hassle of busy downtown traffic.
A group of about 4 (3 women & 1 man) adopted me as a friend 2 weeks ago – it is obvious that they have known each other for years and care for each other deeply. It is nice to laugh and have good convo again. Today, shy David walked in and gave me a big hug. It felt good. It felt good because it was a hug from a man who was not putting moves on me. And I liked seeing that we are all opening up around each other more and more. None of them knew Bob, though they had all seen Bob and I together; but I don't feel weird talking to them about Bob, and they are not weird about listening ... it is like we were always friends.
We talked about other things too: Judy was talking about how she likes to bake and the convo somehow included turkey, and a turkey breast was mentioned. I have recipes that call for a turkey breast, but have never been able to find one that did not also come with the thighs, legs, and wings … entirely too heavy and bulky for me to deal with alone (Bob always had to help me wrestle the turkey in and out of the oven); so I asked where she got her turkey breast at and she told me ‘Winco’: now I know where I can find a turkey breast to make those recipes – a whole turkey literally takes 2 people to deal with it; so a turkey breast should be easy enough for me to manage on my own. The Wilson woman (I can’t recall her name at the moment), wants to retire and buy a backwoods place complete with a garden and chickens. So we talked about chickens - and she was excited to learn that I had had chickens, and I am still gardening; so we talked about that – Judy said she is allergic to red tomatoes, but she can eat yellow tomatoes and she found tomato plants that will pump out regular sized tomatoes … only yellow in color:
Sunny Boy Hybrid. Beefsteak tomato
Golden Jubilee. Highest in Vitamin C and low in
That interested me, because I didn’t know you could grow regular sized yellow tomatoes (usually all you can find to plant are the yellow Pear Tomatoes that are similar in size to cherry tomatoes). So, now, given the information shared by Judy, I will have to scout around for regular sized yellow tomato plants for next year (my garden beds are full this year and stocked with red tomatoes). David had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so we were all surprised to see him show up; and are waiting with him for the results of the exam. Deenie was a gadabout today and flitted back and forth between our small group and another: that’s okay; we have all left high school behind us, and expanding our friendship circles is no big deal.
I smiled with pleasure as I looked around at my new circle of friends. Other than Bob, I have never really had a circle of friends – was never good at making them – and didn’t particularly feel the need for friends.
I had Bob; he was my best friend ...

1976. We were remodeling the house and made a Coors Beer run to California (we lived in Washington State), throwing a block party when we got home. Coors was not sold in any State but California at that time, so EVERYONE came. We had just gotten home, so we weren't spiffed up - you can tell that we had been on the road. LOL
I look at that picture now, and think "we were both so young ..."; and a LOT thinner too! LOL. I was 18, Bob was 25 - and we had two children, 5-1/2 and 18 months old (Bob had a son by a previous marriage).
But now that Bob is no longer here, I have been praying for friends – and not exactly sure how to make them/keep them. For 44 years Bob was my everything: friend, lover, husband, companion, confidant, cheerleader, compassionate but always honest critiquer, helper, guide, ect. WHATEVER I needed; HE WAS.
Now, these 4 have adopted me and extended a hand of friendship. And I am blessed. And I feel honored to be counted as their friend.
Elohim is good!

Tuesday, May 28, 2019


2 days ago, I posted a Badassery post by a fellow Blogger (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/05/no-more-premium-badass-card.html) and stated that I was in retirement from the Badass Club.
Well … this morning I was rudely pulled back into a chancy game of life from retirement, and my Premium Gold Card in the Badass Club was back in play.
About 8:05 a.m., I was standing in my back yard, watering my garden boxes when I notice that jerk-next door-Ron HAS SPAYED ROUND-UP OVER THE PROPERTY LINE AND ONTO MY PROPERTY!
So, I take a picture of it and go to talk to Candy about it:

I show her the picture and ask her to please talk to Ron about it. I DID SAY PLEASE in a calm tone because I know this woman is a loose bullet - but she is also the go-to-person for Park disputes that cannot be settled face-to-face between tenants: that is ONE of her management jobs. She looks at the picture, cops an immediate attitude and snaps my head off saying, "Ron is moving because of you in 2 weeks and I am not going to talk to him about this."
Taken aback by the violent hatred towards me in her voice ….

… I calmly remind her that Ron has been talking about selling his house and moving since the day we moved into our home here 23 months ago ... BEFORE the hell she and Ron stirred up in everyone's life in August, last summer. And that guilt - not me - is what caused Ron to put his house up for sale; and I'm not going to feel sorry for him. Again, said in a calm tone.

She slams her back against her chair and, crosses one fat thigh over another and with a sour-lemon-sucking-face, says, "And everyone in the Park is complaining about you, because you leave your blinds open and they feel spied on."

Well, I know what she is attempting to do; so, I sidestep the crap she just threw at me:

And confidently reactivated my Badassery Premium Gold Card.
I said, "Well, it is my right to have my blinds up in my home, and it's not on me how people feel about it." I mean, IF people are doing illegal acts in the Park that they know are against Park Rules, why should I pull my blinds so they can feel comfortable getting away with it?
But that is what Candy wants people to do so she doesn't have to do her job: she actually told me a few months ago when I called her about Ron cutting across my front yard, "Well, Val, pull your blinds, then you won't see him cutting across your yard." SERIOUSLY?? IGNORE IT AND PRETEND IT DIDN'T JUST HAPPEN? In other words, what she was saying was, 'I don't want to deal with this Val - let Ron do whatever the hell he wants to do when he wants to do it, but don't bother me about Park Rule things'. She wants the freebies that come with being Park Manager (recognition, free housing, throwing her considerable weight around ...yada, yada) ... just not the actual J.O.B. of being Park Manager.
So; I reach for my phone and start recording her. And the first thing she says, is "Go ahead and call my boss ..."

Apparently, I am not the only one that has issues with Candy; and she knows it. I mean, if her first response when she sees my phone is that I intend to call her Boss instead of possibly record her (which is what I would be thinking if I had seriously pissed someone off by attempted blackmail tactics, and they hauled their phone out ...)
After I put my Badassery Premium Gold Card away and left her and her lies behind in the Park Office, I canvassed the entire Park of 813 homes; talking to people (I doubt Candy even understood that by attempting to blackmail me, she actually lit a fire under me hotter than a solar flare sunspot on the sun) - talking especially to those that walk past our home every day - asking them right out if they have a problem with my blinds being up 24/7/365.
NO ONE HAD A SINGLE COMPLAINT about the blinds being up ... or even about me in particular.
And I canvassed the ENTIRE Park ...

My immediate neighbors, specifically, are shocked that she said they were complaining about me:

But I did hear that they think I mind my own business (a plus in my favor); that I am helpful and easy to talk with/to (another dividend in my corner); that though my blinds are up, my head is not; and doesn't everyone know that when it is dark outside and the lights are on inside, people outside can see IN, but people inside CANNOT see out? (no, they do not feel spied on by me: thank you all for shooting Candy's complaint full of holes); and that next time they walk by our house, they will stop and wave their arms to get my attention, then they will smile and wave at me (bonus!) Oh, and they like our garden too (I LOVE YOU BABE; thank you for building me those planter boxes **kiss/kiss**) :-D
I KNOW what Candy had intended with her blackmailing bitchiness today. But she obviously does not know that I am a premium shareholder in the Badassry Club, and she eff'd with the wrong person. She assumed that because I was calm, I was calm ... she missed what people who know me, KNOW: when I am calm, be afraid - be VERY afraid because you are going to be taken d.o.w.n.: fairly - but firmly.
Thanks to Candy's refusal to do her job; and to BOLDLY STATE WHILE BEING RECORDED that she was refusing to do her job; and her failed attempt to blackmail me into a back-down, I made a LOT of new friends today ;-)
Bet she never saw THAT coming ...
And I bet she won't recognize Karma either when it shows up to take her down: Candy has a problem with realities.
Reality is about to take a huge chunk out of her fat ass ... because it appeared to me that people are going over her head and she is afraid of losing her job.
PLEASE GOD! Candy losing her job would be the cherry on Ron's selling his house cake. Just sayin'.
Yeah … guess you could say I am a little peeved.
I also drafted a letter covering the morning’s shenanigans and handed it to her because she is a stickler for legalities – if it isn’t in writ, it isn’t legit (and according to Candy’s criminal mind), “never happened”:

May 28th, 2019

Candice Scott
Heron Pointe

I came to the Heron Pointe Office this morning to let you know that the Space Rent Payment had been sent out May 23rd, 2019 – and that if, again, you do not receive it on the 1st to please let me know and I will contact the Bank to find out why.

Then I showed you a picture commenting that Ron Cook had sprayed Round-Up on his property to kill weeds, and had actually trespassed onto our property and sprayed Round-Up 2” beyond the Boundary Marker on our side of the boundary line.

You copped an immediate attitude and told me that you are refusing to talk to Ron Cook because “he is moving in 2 weeks”, and the overspray was, to your way of thinking, a moot point.

You went further, and told me, “You (meaning me) are the only person at Heron Pointe demanding rules be followed.” I think that is a sad commentary on the community here at Heron Pointe. You followed that statement up with, “and people are complaining because your blinds are always up and they can see into your house and feel spied on because your blinds are always up.” I said that was not on me – I cannot be held responsible for other people’s feelings of paranoia. In 44 years, I have always had open windows and no one has ever complained. No one. The ONLY person I have ever heard complain about my blinds being open, is you, Candy. Ron is the other possibility, and I am thinking the real complainer.

This is not the first time you have said I need to close my blinds. A few months ago when Ron Cook cut across my front yard to get into his truck and enter his carport after exiting his truck; and I called you to ask him to please walk to his driveway and use that instead of cutting across my front yard coming and going, you said, “Well, Val. Pull your blinds, then you won’t see him cutting across your front yard.” #1 – Ron Cook is trespassing when he cuts across my property #2 – Ignoring a trespass by pretending it does not exit is still trespassing #3 – That the Manager of Heron Pointe would deliberately aid and abet blatant lawlessness is inexcusable. Again, Ron Cook, and his continual rebellion is the real issue.

But instead of dealing with real issues, you invent non-issues to evade the real issue.

I have the right to have my window blinds up in my own home.

I do not have to allow someone to blatantly flaunt their rebellion when they are doing it on my own property.

And I have the right to expect the Park Manager to do the job they were hired to do.

So, after leaving the Office today, I took your complaints to heart and canvassed the entire Park, telling people that I have had a complaint from management this morning about my open window blinds, and asking them – specifically my immediate neighbors, and those who walk past my home every day – if my open window blinds offend them; and do they ever feel like I am spying on them.

Most of them laughed outright and asked me if I was serious. I said, that yes the question is serious because Candy Scott was very serious when she made the accusation that people have been complaining to her because my window blinds are open and they feel I am spying on them.

EVERYONE ASSURED ME that my open window blinds are fine with them and that they have never felt spied on.

I talked to ALL my immediate neighbors, and several of the other park tenants as well (those that were home).

No one has a problem with me Candy.

Except you and Ron Cook.

I have spoken to you several times about Ron Cook and his trespasses. Today you were very upfront that you intend to allow his behavior to continue because it is no concern of yours – even though you are the Park Manager at Heron Pointe and tenant concerns are part of your job here at the Park.

I think it is a sad commentary on your character that you would threaten me with a bogus “neighbor’s complaints” blackmail attempt to try backing me down so you can continue to avoid dealing with Ron Cook’s behaviors.

You said Ron Cook will be here another 2 weeks … but the Round-Up he sprayed on my property will be here longer that that and you refused to acknowledge that he has damaged my property several inches over the borderline on my side of the line, with a toxin I did not authorize.

I don’t care if Ron Cook is leaving Heron Pointe in a nano second. It is still your responsibility to speak to him about this issue.


Judging by her clownish expressions of exasperation she felt was her 'professional face' when she was not screaming at me like a deranged chimp with crap in it's hand ready to throw, I doubt anything will be done about Ron’s infraction – but I can guarantee, given her behavior in the Office, that she will do all she can to raise more hell for me.

She made THAT abundantly clear.

Sunday, May 26, 2019


This blogger's post (posted at the end of this post) struck a note with me because I have held a Premium Gold Card in the Badass Club since I was knee high to a grasshopper.
And I was married to a gentle giant for 44 years that covered my ass when my badassedness took me to the brink (in other words, when the other badass was ready to make their move, they took a careful look at my gentle giant and backed down because they didn't know he was a teddy bear: I was the wild card, fearless and ready to rumble).
My husband did, at one point in our marriage, show that he, too, had a badass streak when he stood by my side and fought injustice WITH me when the circus monkeys thought they could raise hell over our driveway; and WE WON the case they tried to try in Court (the Judge wasn't having any of that - and Bob showed his teeth to the monkeys!) … but, generally, Bob was just my gentle giant – and I preferred him that way: his character and balanced temperament was a direct answer to prayer when I discussed husband requirements with Elohei ;-) I could never have lived with a man like the one my sister Ramona married; arrogant, mean-tempered, violent, and egotistical. ALL of that human nature was, I am sure, in Bob too: he just chose to rise above it.
I can be even-tempered too; but on occasion, I would go off the rails.  
Specifically, when “on principal” instances would occur.
My daughter always tells people, "My Mom is a handful". She is embarrassed of my “on principal” fearlessness. Oh well … our children have embarrassed us too on occasion.

But since joining the Senior Citizen's Club, I have to constantly assure her that at 62 years of age, I am not up to kicking anyone's ass anymore, and since December 2018, I haven't renewed my Badass Premium Gold Card.

I have officially joined the ZFG/SOABN/SOTOPS Club.
And I LIKE it.
I think Bob was always a card-carrying member of the ZFG Club; he'd be pleased I have finally grown up and "get it".
The world has changed (it changed quite a while ago, but I always had backup until recently).
And I am now a woman alone.
It is time now for this wild card badass to settle down.