Death is part of life – there 2 cannot be
separated: we ALL begin to die as soon as we exit the womb.
I have never been afraid of death – and I am
not afraid now.
Death does leave its mark on our lives; and
there is no getting around that.
For ME, at this moment in time in MY
life … I choose not to focus on the {what ifs} death scenarios everyone else is
focused on. I am dealing, every minute of every day with the REALITIES of
death’s fallout in my own life: I am not going to get caught up in the {what
ifs} fear-mongering hysteria everyone is wanting to pull me into.
That someone – AS WAS DONE YESTERDAY
AFTERNOON – would actually say to me that I need to educate myself because I
have no idea what it’s like to watch someone die; AND I don’t know how death
affects a family … is outrageous! Of all the nerve!
From September 1st, 2018 to
December 14th, 2018, I WAS BY BOB’S SIDE WATCHING his spirit
slipping away from me. I WAS THERE AT HIS LAST BREATH. I will NEVER be able to
erase those final moments from my thoughts. Bob’s leaving was peaceful, but it
was HARD to say goodbye: Bob was my entire world; he is the love of my life. My
entire family nucleus fell apart in 10 months’ time … I think I KNOW “how death
affects a family”.
People have lost their minds.
People have become arrogantly intrusive in MY
life – barging through it like they own it, and insisting I follow their demands.
People are too fueled by their self-righteous self-importance. Especially those
who have now been pinned with the ‘hero’ badge. They are NOT ‘heroes’ to me …
and they are behaving very badly. Real Heroes do not call attention to themselves
– and they do not intrude, or stomp all over someone else’s life like a
dictator.
I do not want to hear any more about coronavirus.
I am still reeling from the physical death of
my husband – I am still trying to adjust to the abandonment of my immediate family
– I am NOT going to have people caught up in fearful hysteria browbeating and
lambasting me because I do not respond to this virus outbreak as they think I
should.
I am sorry if that comes across as “a bitter
bitch” or “an unmitigated asshole”, but the {what ifs} death scenarios shouted
at me from media sources (which I have stopped watching), thrown in my face by
FB Pages (which I rarely visit anymore), as well as from people who SHOULD KNOW
BETTER because they “were there” with us every step of Bob’s leaving … these fearmongering
scenarios mean nothing to ME compared to the loss of my husband’s presence in MY
life. I refuse to feel guilty about that feeling. I also refuse to go down that
road hedged with paranoid fears: I am too busy juggling my OWN emotions
following a death in MY OWN life. I am not responsible for juggling everyone
else’s emotions, or feeling the fears in their lives.
Death is part of the package of life – yin and
yang concept.
I post MY Life Journey on MY Page; if that is
offensive to you, you are free to leave. You are NOT free to tell me what I can
– and cannot – post on MY Page.
STOP talking to me about coronavirus.
I don’t want to hear any more about it.
