It’s been a day of reflection.
The dawning of 2020, I decided to let life take me where it will, now that I have been cast adrift to be a free agent – and no concerns anymore about the choices I will be making: there is no one left on Earth to answer to. And Elohei already approves because He is preparing the way before me.
It is not all scorched earth.
And I am thankful.
I woke up this morning thinking I need to start taking stock of my new life; I kinda-sorta did that all through 2019 … but now it’s a little more urgent and a little more different.
There are hefty financial issues I have to work out this year: my teeth have got to be attended to this year. I’m setting up an appointment in March sometime to figure out where to go with them – they are in terrible shape because they are porous. The cap work I had done more than 20+ years ago is allowing the shafts they rest on to disintegrate, which leads to tooth extraction. Though I am not looking to replace Bob with another man, I don’t like the idea of having empty tooth spaces in my mouth. Dentures will be expensive. I had hoped to avoid dentures … my mother had dentures all of her life since she was 18 years old: I never wanted that for me. But, my teeth are what they are. And they need to be addressed. If that is indeed the assessment given me, I will have to go to Seattle to have the final dental work done – I don’t do city driving; I will need to find someone to drive me up and back … and pay for an overnight room. I’m not even sure how to do that: Bob always handled booking, and the room card-key when we enjoyed overnight ventures. I am seriously out of my depth in so many ways.
I need new glasses – they won’t be terribly expensive, but Bob has his stamp on the cat-eye-ones I am currently wearing, and I’m not wanting to let them go ...
... but, realistically, the lens need to be replaced. I’m thinking to do that with the Income Tax Return funds. Probably sometime in May.
There is a private joke behind
these cay-eyes: Bob saw them and jokingly asked me, “Would you wear something
like that?” I said, “I like ‘em! I think I’ll get ‘em.” They fit my personality. The look on his face
was priceless and we burst out laughing everytime I’d look at him and he’d
shake his head. I still laugh when that memory pops into my head.
I have a patched tire on the car – it is a temporary fix, and it leaks: the car is an all-wheel-drive vehicle. I need to put at least $2500.00 in savings so I can replace all the tires when the time comes to do so speedily.
And Heron Pointe’s calimexarabia owners have declared that Space Rent is going up another $30/mo come June; on top of Longview’s excessive utilities hikes to cover the sanctuary city tent city and illegals ‘needs’, which apparently override and supersede the needs of Longview’s Senior Citizens.
That’s A LOT of required {extra} moolah all added up!
My pockets aren’t that deep.
But I have a mighty BIG GOD, and His resource are limitless :-D
Elohei has been faithful to uphold me in His
right hand, prosper me, and keep me standing through all the stuff I have had
to deal with from December 14th, 2018 to date. I am stronger now
then I have been these past 14 months/15 days/12 hours.36 minutes. I’m starting
to pray again – I am a Prayer Warrior … that I could not pray more than a
piddling weak eeking of, “Help me, Yeshua. I love You. Help me. Amen”, was a very strange feeling for me. For a solid year, I just couldn’t pray effectively:
all of me was numb.
But with the unfolding of 2020, I have been taking stock and counting my blessings that have been showered on me in the midst of the storms.
I have been healing.
I have been gaining strength.
Wednesday afternoon was the first time since I
started fellowshipping again in January 2019, that I prayed out loud in a group
setting; it was halting and shy, but I think I am back on track with that
again.
Elohei is faithful.
He has held me up; and now, He is getting me back UP. Amen!
I have a MIGHTY.BIG.GOD. :-D
The changing Shabbat sundown. 5.57 PM & 6 PM
Shavua tov! A good week, a week of peace, may gladness reign and joy increase: I do not have a beautiful braided tri-color Havdalah candle, but I do have a candle burning ;-) In the weeks leading up to Passover & Resurrection Day, I will be using the Crucifix Candleholder a friend gave me 2 decades ago.
"Blessed are You, Elohei, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. Blessed are You, Elohie, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the many kinds of spices. Blessed are You, Elohei, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the lights of fire. Amen."
