This morning, I was out of bed; dressed, on the road, and hiking the Pacific Way Trail before 8 AM.
I walk when I am sorting thoughts.
Overland scavengers were on the prowl.
Underground scavengers were on the prowl.
I had a lot of thoughts tumbling through my mind.
And it shows in some of today’s videos: there were times my thoughts tripped over themselves before they exited my mouth 😉
Hearing Iris’s voice coming to my ears over the airwaves (and seeing her face on her FB Page after we became ‘Friends’) was a 50 years prayer being answered.
Bob would have liked her – and he would have liked Rick, my BIL, too.
When we started dating, Bob and I had a lot of trust issues; mine were family related – Bob’s were from a disastrous first marriage.
Bob rarely saw me cry during our 44 years together; when emotions did overwhelm me and I ended up in tears … Bob knew I was dealing with major issues. The first time Bob saw me cry he was startled – he was startled because I’m not a girlie-girl; I don’t burst into tears at the drop of a hat. With the tears came anger: anger stemmed from embarrassment. Anger because my childhood memories had been tripped and was trespassing into my beautiful life with Bob; a life far away from that other weedy life.
Bob understood that.
I never had to explain.
And Bob never asked for information beyond what I was willing to share with him.
I shared with him the nitty-gritty things that he needed to know … no more, no less; I never kept secrets from him, but I didn’t feel the need to go into vivid detail either.
And Bob never felt the need to plumb the depth of those vivid details. He always felt that the fact that I had been reduced to tears was all he needed to know – he felt I was going through enough; there was no reason for verbalization.
I was thankful.
And Bob was quick to comfort me in any, and every way, he could.
Bob loved me: unconditionally.
I was thankful.
And, I did likewise when his past with gloria would rise its ugly head, and refuse to be ignored.
We had mountains to climb and insecurities to conquer; and we did that together.
And after a while, those memories dissipated and our life found healthy balance.
Love was the soothing, healing balm.
I was going through so much hateful crap from hate-filled people, in the first year of widowhood.
All ridiculous.
All unnecessary.
Elohim witnessed it all … and decided that then would be the perfect time to answer my 50-year prayer.
There were medical questions Iris asked that I could not answer. What little I knew wasn’t helpful to her in her situation (whatever that situation was).
Our time of connecting only lasted 6 months.
But those 6 months meant everything.
I have no
concept of travel time … according to these maps, the timelines would have been
considerably longer than I anticipated: but Bob would have agreed to the visits
anyway 😉
Walking along the dike, I chuckled when I caught sight of a strutting courting display.
And a little further along, I laughed out loud.
The yellow Iris reminded me of
Iris.
I could hear her voice on the breeze.
She always had a sunny disposition.
Crossing the street, I noticed 2 foraging geese on the upper grass of the golf course.
I would have liked not to disturb them, but I wanted to keep moving to outpace flying golf balls.
Kitty-corner to the slow-mo geese was a Mallard pair sunning themselves in the warming sunrays that had finally parted the clouds.
As I got closer, Mr. Duck quickly stood to shelter his mate, and was so quickly pushing Mrs. Duck into the tall grass, I could imagine him telling her, “Move it, move it, move it!” – she even gave him a backward glance eyeroll during her slow waddle (truly), that indicated, ‘I’m going as fast as I can. Relax!’
And I saw that the waterlilies are blooming.
I’ll have to walk the Lake sometime soon, to see those waterlilies in bloom 😉
Crossing the last street along the hiking trail route, I was delighted to see the wildlife has risen and started greeting the day (they had all been absent earlier).
And I shed my fleece pullover.
The sun was chasing the chill away.
Back home by 10 AM, I took my geranium pots out from under the carport sheltering, and set them out in the sunshine for a few hours while I washed my hair, changed into fresher clothing, and tidied the house.
And added some clarification about how I post what I post.
Though I am glad to be of help to other’s who are going through thorny issues similar to mine … I do not feel obligated to divulge my entire life’s story to anyone.
I share enough – and that is enough for me; and for anyone else.
I share present day stuff.
My background is off limits.
