Tom Jones - 'You're My World' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gla6bkc2Spk)
We woke up to snowflakes falling this morning, so we found some in-house things to do.
Holland checked his emails, and I was going through some of last year's widow journey files, when I came across an October'22 File that should have clued me into Holland's arrival on my life change radar ...
A.M. dream - I mistook Elohim's meaning ...
My rough drawing of what Elohim showed me.
The intent was accurate - my interpretation was not; I attributed the dream to missing Bob, instead of realizing it was Elohim's way of showing me it was time to move on and accept His Plan for this new chapter of my new life.
My January 2022 'Redeeming the Time' Post: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/02/shabbat-reflection-redeeming-time.html
The Ocober'22 Swan Dream was like Elohim was giving me hope that things will get better.
I'm glad I finally accepted the dream's full intent :-)
At the time of the swan dream, I had been attending Oak Point community church for an entire year at that time, studiously avoiding Holland's obvious flirtations: I wasn't ready to engage in romantic interludes. Plus, Holland was a Board member ... and the Board (jeanne paulson and luroy douglas, spearheaded the outright hatred towards me) had very specifically let me know I was unwelcome, and was very voiciferously making it known they wanted me gone. I did not know that Holland had gone to bat for me at every board meeting - I did not know because I was avoiding romantic entanglements. I was, in effect, putting Elohim's Plan on hold by keeping Holland at arm's length.
I was still dealing with widowhood adjustments.
I was also - through no fault of my own - dealing with naked hatred aimed at me by a greedy man fixated on money issues, and a bitter old harpy fixated on demeaning me in any way she could, because she could.
I was clueless - due to everything going down, as well as my self-imposed ignorance - that Holland was the swan Elohim had shown me in my dream.
But Holland wasn't clueless.
Tom Jones - 'There's Something 'Bout You Baby I Like' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZfA0okHVOo)
And he was letting me know, without actually verbalizing what I should have been paying attention to ;-)
My swan-man was getting bold; I was taking too long in noticing his courtship maneuvers ;-)
Tom Jones - 'Help Yourself' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMz_JSU8TxI)
Holland in 1989; my swan-man has told me that Elohim gave him a vision of me at this time - there was also a prophetic word given ... with a witness, that confirms the vision.
Dan Seals - 'Saw You In My Dreams' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFnRKShLghE)
Holland's {swan song} text; this was a complication risk that reaped lifelong blessings. Bread - 'Baby, I'm A-Want You' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYG1VsWSZl4)
Bellamy Brothers - 'More Of You' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvMXBeF9f2c)
This morning, my swan-man and I talked things over.
Marrying a widow is not for the weak hearted man. Holland has weathered a lot of insensitive talk. My younger brother actually posted on his FB Page - after someone (pretty sure it was that miserable old harpy from Oak Point) sent him a picture of Holland and I announcing our marriage: {Well, I'll be a...My older sister remarried. Good on her and very, very good on him. Congratulations, Sis and whoever. (Not like I'll ever meet him...sis and I have been estranged for going on 50 yrs. But I wish her, nor him, any ill will, but he's got a mark to reach to beat Bobby Hargand (but anybody would). Anyway, good on them both.}
Holland took this crappy posting better than mw. I saw red: 98% of Sam's post was unadulterated bullshit, posted to gather sympathy for himself (1) I love Holland, else I would not have married him (2) Sam didn't even know Bob - I think they only said 'hi' to each a handful of times during our entire marriage (3) my siblings cut themselves out of my life ... and I told Sam about Bob's passing myself following Bob's physical death; and invited him to Bob's Celebration of Life, along with my other siblings. NO ONE RESPONED OR BOTHERED TO COME. Any 'estrangement' is on them (4) Holland is confident in my love for him; he is not in competition with Bob, who now resides in Heaven! That's just crazy talk - and it's disrespectful to me, as well as very hurtful to a man my brother has never met. Bob was ... Holland is. I love Holland for who he is; there is no comparison.
When I run into friends or get calls from them; and I tell them I've remarried, they are surprised and will usually say, "Wow. Congratulations." Then they follow that up with, "I just can't imagine you with anyone but Bob." (((HELLO PEOPLE!))) Holland is standing within hearing distance of that remark ... the insensitive remark didn't need to be verbalized.
Marrying a man who has been a bachelor for decades is not for the weak hearted woman. Thankfully, I've always been an independent woman who doesn't need a man to boost my personhood: I get along quite well solo lobo. If a man is in my life on a steady basis, he's in it because I want to share all of my life with him - not because my life is meaningless without him. I choose to make a place for him in my life. Just sayin.
I've only opened my life to 2 men: Bob and Holland ~ both are my swan-men in their own right; each fitting my life completely, in two totally different scenarios. I loved Bob while he walked this Earth with me for 44 years. I love Holland as equally deep - and I will walk this Earth beside him, for the rest of whatever timeframe of life Elohim grants us.
Tom Jones & Dusty Springfield - 'You Got What It Takes' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb0gzExYdPM)
The Every Brothers - 'Let It Be Me' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnJQf1B-OUk)
A true blessing. Just for me :-)
Tom Jones - 'Love Machine' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EcSiZM9nis)
Holland recently got his hair cut; I miss his curls. The good-looking boy is still visible in my handsome man :-)
We've only been married 46 days.
Adjustments take time.
Thankfully we are both retired and can make the most of our days; we have the time to sort things out; and talk them out. We don't want anything to come between us - we are still honeymooners. I've apologized for my family and friends' insensitivity ... and Holland has apologized for the recent Oak Point snafu: he understands now why I was so upset.
Change only comes to a person from the inside out; true, substantial, lasting change must come from a person's own heart, not from external pressure.
Elohim is working in our life for the betterment of our life, and we are taking a step back from life's snafu's.
And, as an added bonus ... we are engaging in a particular retirement activity that brightens the day and chases away any gray clouds that threaten to mar our happy place :-)
Starland Vocal Band - 'Afternoon Delight' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu1UXCdyNo0)
I was reading my cousin's FB Page this morning, when I saw a pattern for these cute crochet sloths. I started laughing, and said, "These are perfect for a retired couple statement; I'm going to make a pair" :-)
I love my swan-man.
Friday looks like a good day to drive to the beach; Holland likes the beach, and a beach day would be good for him. He spoils me - Friday will be a day to lavish a little spoiling on him, too ;-)
