I WON'T BACK DOWN

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

SEVERING FRAGILE TIES


Yep ...

Listening to my BIL and MIL try to tear Bob down at his Celebration of Life a few weeks ago, all I could think was, "Assholes. Thank God, I will never have to see, or hear, either of them ever again."

I will always be "Bob's wife" - but I will NEVER AGAIN have to be around those 2 miserable lemon-suckers.

Unbeknownst to them, they gave me the gift of true freedom when they opened their mouths and commenced to severing the fragile ties that bound me to them while Bob was walking beside me on Earth.

Both are poor excuses for human beings. MPO

Neither will be missed in my life from that day forward.

And I am sorry Bob had to witness thier shame.

IT'LL COST 'YA


Longview has set the month of September aside as ‘2019 City Beautiful Month’. The kicker is that MOST OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE CLEANED UP IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE PICKED UP BY THE CITY “for free”. True to form, the old adage {if it advertises for free, it’s gonna cost ‘ya} rings true during this {free} city beautification month:


It was ‘dumpster day’ at the Park today …


… so, into the back end of my car I wrestled the kitchen stool I don’t need after our kitchen remodel – and loaded the paint cans the previous owner left for us to take care of; and went looking for the drop-off location. I find it, and THERE IS NO LITTLE TRAILOR for the paint deposit.

I go to the Office to ask if there is another drop-off location, and am told, “No; but the little trailer is at the dump in town.” This is the mentality we, here at the park, have to deal with on a daily basis.

I just look at Candy. I want to say, “You’re kidding, right? We only have a very small window to drop this stuff off (exactly 2 hours in the morning), and you’re sitting there telling me the trailer is still in town. At the dump, instead of being here, where it is supposed to be?” But, I don’t open my mouth to say those things – the LAST THING I WANT TO DEAL WITH that early in the morning is Candy’s crappy attitude.

I get back in my car, drive to the dumpster locale and leave the paint cans there, by the dumpster, with the kitchen stool:


The stool is practically as tall as I am – and dumpster is at least 6-7 feet tall, so there is no way I can heave the stool into the dumpster. And the little trailer isn’t even on Park premises: LET CANDY DEAL WITH the fallout if there is any; I can’t put my life on hold just because Candy can’t coordinate a simple thing like having the trailer on premises AS PROMISED so that park residents can dispose of refuse – AS PROMOTED BY LONGVIEW AND THE PARK MANAGEMENT.

When I get back home, and am taking off my coat, I saw that my White Christmas Cactus had a blossom on it – the only bright thing in my day so far ;-)


While in the bedroom, I finally tackled ‘the yellow pencil’: this pencil was the last thing Bob used before he went into the hospital last August 29th, 2018. As you can see, there is quite a dust build-up on his wooden dresser Valet he inherited from his Grandfather Smalley in 1981, after Henry died. I have avoided touching, moving, or using Bob’s yellow pencil during these 12 months; I didn’t even dust the Valet. Every time I got close to the dresser – or passed it as I walked through the bedroom, my eyes would deliberately avoid looking directly at the pencil. I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to think about the last time Bob touched that pencil.

But, this afternoon, I touched it.

I used it.

Laying ghosts to rest is gonna cost ‘ya. To effectively lay ghosts to rest, you have to look the past in the face, deal with it, and start living in the present. It sounds easy-peasy – but it isn’t. That pencil was the last thing Bob touched before Ron Cook & Candy Scott tore our lives apart with their insane egomania.

It took a tremendous amount of willful determination to touch it, pick it up, and use it.

It cost me.

Eventually, the Valet will get dusted, now that it is no longer taboo …


I made some calls inquiring about Bazaar dates and table fees too, and those calls got through … but ALL calls stopped after those calls because a heavy cloud cover moved over the sky directly above our home and reception was practically nil:


Around Suppertime, 2 big helicopters flew over the house, so low under the heavy cloud cover that shrouded the sky, that the roof vibrated. It looked like they were headed towards Willow Grove; they flew back over the house about 35 minutes later; don’t know if this was a military drill, or if someone drowned at Willow Grove. All I know for sure was that the helicopters were L.O.U.D. when they passed by …