Thursday, May 23, 2019

PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT


Now that I find myself suddenly alone, I have been sticking pretty close to home. Bob and I used to day-trip a couple times a month, and occasionally go on mini vacas that could be as short as over-night – or as long as a week on the road before meandering back to our driveway.

But now those days are over.

So, I have some leftover $$$ after bills are paid and incidentals at home are restocked.

Today, while grocery shopping and running all over town to find things that need replaced at home, I stopped at Ross’s (I rarely shop at Ross’s – have only done so twice in the 2 decades the store has been here in Longview) to buy some summer sheet sets … and came home with quite a bit more :-)

I couldn’t believe I actually bought girly sheet sets; but I did … and I like them. Smooth cotton sheets to replace the winter flannel sheets. White cotton with floral print: both sets. I don’t believe we ever had floral sheets on our bed. Ever. Not because Bob would have nixed the idea … but because there was a man in the house, and I wanted things to be neutral. Our marriage was always a 50-50 thing. Now half of that 50-50 thing is no longer present.

So, floral sheets on our bed will be a new experience.

An adjustment.

After I bought the sheet sets, I meandered through the clothing department just to check it out, and bought a pair of summer shorts and 3 blousy tops. They were all reasonably priced at a good deal a piece, so into the cart they went … and to the Fitting Room I went. While I was in there, I spotted a shiny penny in the floor of the cubicle I was in; so, I smiled and pocketed it:

“Don't pass by that penny when you're feeling blue. It may be a ‘found penny’ from heaven that an Angel's tossed to you.” ~C. Mashburn

Leaving the Fitting Rooms department, I passed by the cookware aisle – and had added 2 more items to my cart …

Bought these mini pie pans at Ross's too - they are perfect for my solo eating requirements. They are quality pans, and the price was right.
I also bought this set of 4 ramekins at Ross's: a little under a $1 each. Some recipes are hard to break down in accurate measurements, so these 4 added to my 2 at home, will make baking those difficult-to-break-down recipes easier to manage and enjoy ;-)

And before I reached the cashier, 3 decorative pillows had found their way into my cart too – everything I bought at Ross’s was on sale today:

These lumbar support pillows were on sale at Ross's (half price!) ... so they came home with me. They do not have a memory foam interior pillow, but they will do to support the lumbar region and give some comfortable support.
This big poof pillow was on sale - for third off original price; so – it went into the cart also.
The Blue Rose pillows look 'right at home’ in our home (a girly adjustment in this aging tom-boy's life) – and I am thinking my friends' backs will thank me when they come to visit.
This over-sized poof pillow fit's Bob's chair real good. Now I don’t have to pack my pillow with me every time I want to sit in Bob's chair ;-)
My back pillow can stay put now. No more musical chairs ...

A bit further down the road, I found these campy chair mats at the Dollar Store, and just had to have them ...

I spotted these chairs mats at the $1 Store and they reminded me of Cher in her Laverne skits: I laughed with that skit's decor playing though my head all the way to the cashier aisle. And, I swear, as I was tying them to the chair backs at home, I could almost hear Bob chuckling because he could always read my mind: we were that much atuned to each other. LOL
I can see I will have to crochet matching chair booties ... I can do that by making Alyna's slippers up first and making the matching booties with the leftover Slipper yarn I bought.

I made 2 more shopping stops along the way home.

At JoAnne's, I bought a bag full of yarn to crochet Christmas Slippers with (YES! I AM already thinking that far ahead. LOL). When I spoke with the Spokesperson for the Hospital Donation Foundation yesterday, she said they are pretty well stocked up at the moment and probably won't need anything more until around September sometime; so I will utilize the 'downtime' months to get family handcrafted items taken care of.

While I was paying for the mound of colorful skeins of yarn, I noticed the Butterfly door mat off to the side, and decided to add that to the tally too. The butterflies reminded me of Bob's new status in life:

The butterfly is a symbol for the Resurrection. The butterfly, has for generations since the birth of Christianity, symbolized life after death because of the butterfly’s life cycle from a lowly caterpillar to a soaring, beautiful, almost ethereal creature.
And it was on sale for half off. Good deal all the way around :-D

And last – but not least – I pulled in at Lowe’s to get some 7w nite light bulbs for my nite lights, only to find that they are no longer available and won’t be restocked …

The light bulbs I wanted has been phased out! So I had to get LED nite lights instead.
No longer available - it looks like I am going to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century and forced to come to terms with the adjustments.

In my defense, looking around at everything new in our home, all I can say is that I am currently going through a period of adjustment.

And from the look of most of the things purchased, I seem to be shifting gears and leaning towards creating a more feminine home environment now that my man has permanently vacated (physically, anyway); and I am not looking for a replacement.

It is weird buying girly stuff because I am not, by nature, a girly-girl.

But, for the moment it seems to {fit} this period of adjustment I have been thrust into.

So, I am going with the flow.

The changes don’t diminish Bob’s presence in my life: they are necessary to my moving forward independently towards a life I did not/do not want. And I am not doing anything underhanded – Bob KNEW I would make life changes if he graduated before me: we talked about {it} periodically since he died for the 2nd time in 1981.

Bob understood that I would need a fresh canvas by which to work through my period of adjustment in order for my heart to heal.

He knew that the changes I would make would never erase him from my life because I love him, and will love him to the day I, too, physically die.

I love you Babe.

Always.

OX