Monday, August 12, 2019
Everything in my Bazaar Cache bins have been re-tagged.
And ... I had a heart-to-heart with my SIL, Merry, yesterday afternoon – and it actually turned into quite a nice visit for both of us after the air was cleared. So, we’ll see where it goes from here; I believe the general consensus was that we all love Bob, and his absence puts a huge hole in our lives – we HAVE GOT TO become a cohesive family unit, or we are all going to feel the bite.
Merry is going to take care of the Rosburg Hall stuff, while I deal with the Cemetery stuff on the 30th; she is picking up the tab too … didn’t know about that until she told me Sunday. But it is welcome. And I thanked her for her generosity. She’ll be there to greet people who may stop there for a pit-stop before finding their way to the Cemetery. In this way, she said, she will feel like she is doing something for Bob & me. And that WILL BE a big help; and I told her that I do appreciate her help in this way. I am sure I will be an emotional basket-case that day, so if she wants to deal with the crowd – I am happy to hand everyone off into her capable hands.
While I DO appreciate people’s help, I do not appreciate being told that I need to get out and do something to take my “mind off the situation” so I “don’t think so much”: that is offensive to me; and it is not helpful. I AM “getting out” – I am getting out quite a bit, actually. The problem IS … that I STILL HAVE TO COME HOME. I mean – I can’t stay gone! I have to eventually come home. And when I come home, Bob is not here. And THAT would be the case, NO MATTER what I do, where I go, or how busy I keep myself. Even if I relocated … I would STILL KNOW that Bob is no longer here, with me. So, getting out & doing things is not the problem. The problem is that Bob is not here – THAT is the “problem”. I can’t be busy enough to change the fact that Bob is not here – he will never be here again. Going for a drive, visiting with people, going to Fellowship Meets, going shopping … or even going for a walk … is NOT going to change my “situation”. And, I don’t dwell on “it”; but when I feel cornered, my mind does go TO Bob – because Bob never cornered me: and when I was put in a cornered position, Bob was my strength; Bob was my anchor. He would just open his arms, and hold me, and tell me it was okay … and that I would be okay. He calmed me down. And now, he’s no longer here. And NO amount of busyness, NO amount of getting out of the house, NO amount of letting my mind vegetate is going to change that. THAT is not going to change.
So, this afternoon; after laundry was done and the bread was baked and stored, I grabbed a hamburger at Baker’s Corner, and drove out to the Willow Grove river beach: where I ate, enjoyed watching people, and got my daily fix of vitamin D ;-)
Vitamin D is necessary for over-all health (https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/benefits-vitamin-d), and since I am letting the Bridge Program Insurance Plan expire in October; and I am avoiding doctors – I need ALL the help I can GET to maintain my health, and stay healthy.
So, off to the beach I went, since I can’t get to the mountains – where I’d rather be :-D
I ate Supper at Willow Grove river beach. I watched river traffic & people … and the cawing ravens watched me; hoping I’d be careless and they could make off with half my meal. LOL
Willow Grove was popular today; the temperature was 90-degrees, and the humidity was brutal.
We never let our kids swim in the Columbia River – some people do … but it wasn’t worth the risk to us. The Columbia is one of the most dangerous rivers in the world. Our kids all had swimming lessons, and they all swam like a fish; but when they swam, they either swam at the Town or City Pools – or they went to a back road swimming hole with us. People die every year at Willow Grove: we were not going to let our children be included in that watery death tally.
Heavy ship traffic is another reason we never let our kids swim here.
Things I brought home off the beach; while I walked it, and collected them …
While I sat and watched river traffic & ate; and, after Supper, walked the trails, and watched people; I also gave my thoughts free rein ...
Christians are the ONLY people who can grieve and rejoice at the same time. That may sound like an oxymoron – BUT – it actually makes sense. We grieve because we miss the physical presence of our loved ones, but we rejoice because we know their spirit is with the One Who loves us more than we can ever imagine. And we KNOW that we WILL SEE them someday: we do not mourn as the world mourns. We rejoice because we know we have hope – this life on Earth is not all there is; we KNOW we have MORE to look forward to after this life on Earth is wrapped up. Earth is just a stepping stone to something bigger and better. This life on Earth teaches us about the love of our Father … and about how much He loves us. And we rejoice that to be absent from the body is to be present with Yeshua! Life eternal – life unimaginable.
As humans, we still have emotions: we still sorrow – but we don’t sorrow to the point of losing our mind with grief: of being seriously depressed or discouraged. We sorrow because we love those that have gone on before us. We know that on this Earth, we WILL NEVER see them again. We’ll never touch them. We’ll never speak with them. We never hear their voice again. The life we knew together with them is now over. But we will see them again. We will see them again! Our lives will be different, but we will see them again; and we will rejoice with them in our new life. And THAT is something to look forward to ;-)