I WON'T BACK DOWN

Friday, July 19, 2019

JUST BEFORE DAWN



The loneliest time.

Just before dawn.

Eyes awake.

Mind rerunning memory clips.

Body restless.

Mind rethinking the past days’ events.

Mind reroutes and starts going down rabbit trails …

Who am I? Where do I stand solo? What is my solo purpose? How do I move forward solo and still feel like a whole? Why, why, why???

The thoughts never stop.

A widow finds herself on an emotional roller-coaster ride in the wee hours of early mornings, just before dawn, when the rest of the world is still blissfully asleep; and unaware of how quickly change happens and time – as they know it – can come to a screeching halt.


Reining thoughts in.

Glancing at the clock.

Why is father time creeping so slowly?


And mother nature is so very quiet.


Everything seems out of control: everything is forever changed.

Watching the clock.

Ears straining.



Hallelujah!

It is time to get up and get busy.

Doing what? Where?

It doesn’t matter!

I just NEED to BE busy.

Busyness has become my closest friend now.