ADNA FLORAL SALE ~2022

After I got from my Lexington Coffee Hour, this afternoon (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/04/friday-encouragmentsshabbat-blessings.html); I was – by sight – encouraged by the disappearing snow on the surrounding hillsides … so I checked the weather forecast for the rest of this afternoon – and decided to drive to Adna, after all 😊

Forecast appears favorable for travel northward ...

Aiming to accomplish my annual Adna Goal!

A little late in the day ... but I think I can work the 'time crunch’ 😊

There was some traffic delay along the route because of storm damage that needed to be cleared; but on the whole, the drive was pretty carefree and smooth going.

As I passed Evaline, I decided to take the Pleasant Valley Road because it would get me where I needed to be quicker – and time was of the essence. I wanted to get there … and get back home … asap.

Decided to drive Pleasant Valley Road to Adna.

No GPS - no Cell services; I know the route, though :-)

No evidence of snow anywhere along the roadway.

I arrived, and had just pushed my cart into the tented area – when the sky cut loose with a thundering hail storm.

I didn’t waste anytime fooling around. I quickly scouted out the tomato and onion transplant’s I wanted; snagged two pretty petunia plants, a fuchia start, and a ferny trailing parrot’s peak plant for a hanging basket. And I grabbed two vintage ceramic planters to add a bit of color and charm to the house.

As I was paying for my purchases, the fellas working there (that know me because I am a faithful customer) told me to be careful getting home on the freeway. I said, “I’m going home the backroads; I avoid the freeway every chance I get to go around it. I prefer the backroads.” The guys echoed each other with, “Good girl!” Backroads may be dicey in foul weather, but in the type of weather we’ve been having, the freeway floods between Chehalis and Napavine’s I-5 corridor (I would be driving Napavine’s backroad to Vader, so I’d be relatively safe – if tree limb debris was cleared).

The hail backed off enough to allow me to stash my goodies on the front passenger side of the Highlander, before it started freefalling again: the hail was so much larger than usual, that it backed up on the windshield when I flicked the wipers on. And falling with such ferocity, that trying to keep the windshield clear was practically a wasted effort. I sat for a bit – then decided to go home through Napavine; it wouldn’t be that much longer, and the road to Napavine would be wider than the skinny Pleasant Valley country road.

If Bob was watching me from his lofty cloud perch, I’ll bet he was plenty surprised to see how quickly I got my shopping done 😉

I arrived; so did the soybean-sized hail.

Quick grabs, and OUT of there!

Goodies stashed on passenger side of car; I bought so little, it all fit comfortably.

Rain, sleet, and hail means a homeward trek via Napavine.

Safe passage, & I'll bet Bob was surprised at how fast I accomplished my goal 😉

But there’s just me now … I have to think/act differently, now that my backup man is noticeably and permanently gone.

Driving through Lexington, I glimpsed the hills on the opposite side of the Cowlitz River; so, I pulled over, and zoomed in a photo shot to kinda gauge the accumulated snowfall. The dusted hills appeared to be encouraging for travel – but that could change overnight: tomorrow’s afternoon and evening forecast will be the deciding factor.

I filled the gas tank (only a quarter down) ‘just in case’ there’s a possibility Elohim gives me the green light to drive to Vancouver, tomorrow. I’m not going to be stupid about it and go off half-cocked, but I will pray about it, and keep myself open to the possibility. I am not Bob. I do not have Bob’s knowledge about snowy hillsides and high-altitude road travel.

But I do have a God that loves me, and protects me from ignorant harm 😉

Elohim gave His ALL for me: through Yeshua’s redemption, Elohei owns me (willingly, through my freewill choice). And I’m so happy to belong to Him as joint-heir with His Son - my Lord God, Advocate Savior, and Faithful Husband!

S.M. Lockridge – ‘It’s Friday, But Sunday’s Coming’ message: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYVZKdK1pgU

If he says ‘go’ – I go; if he says ‘stay’ – I stay. I won’t know until tomorrow what I’ll be doing; and I probably won’t know until the last possible moment needed to get ready to get to the Seder on time, if I will be attending.

Pulled over in Lexington, to check out the hillside across the way; snowy view looks encouraging.

Gas price dropped another 2-cents from yesterday's cost.

When I got home, I watered the plants and set them in front of a sunny window (moving them back from the chill of the window glass, in the evening).

Plants watered.

Placed in carboard boxes protected with plastic bags.

And placed in a sunny window.

Full moon on the rise.

L'Chiam!

FRIDAY ENCOURAGMENTS~Shabbat Blessings

I wasn’t sure how this Friday would turn out: both of my scheduled freewheeling Friday options didn’t look like they’d be happening today.

And I was missing Bob.

Big time.

Today is a special day for me; this is the day Bob called me to set up our first date. Admittedly, April 15^th, 1974 was a long time ago … but, in my heart, it seems like only yesterday.  This is not an ‘old woman thing’, or a ‘widow thing’ – I have always felt this way about today’s date: 44 years of marriage, or 48 years of remembering, hasn’t dulled the glow that that memory touches my life with: it had a special significance to me then, and it has a special significance to me now.

April Reflections Post: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/04/april-reflections.html

I was standing in the kitchen this morning, admiring how the yellow parrot tulip had opened so prettily overnight; and also thinking how each heart-shaped rock had been discovered every time my life needed a boost (most of them were found in the river rock surrounding this house, months following Bob’s physical death).

Yellow Double Peony Tulip & Heart-shaped Rocks.

Bob liked the sunny color of yellow. And when I started planting tulips in my flowerbeds decades ago, Bob’s favorite was the yellow tulip.

While I was standing there, admiring the colorful spread of the salvaged tulip blossom (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/04/in-for-pennyin-for-pound.html); and remembering how and where each heart-shaped rock had been discovered and collected, I was encouraged to join the Lexington Coffee Hour.

Obviously, my quick exit following Sunday’s Communion, was not going to be an issue (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/04/walking-with-god.html).

I washed my hair, and switched my pj’s for out-of-house clothing.

We are all learning about each other.

We are building community; we do not have to agree with one another about everything in our lives … we do not necessarily have to like the same people: we just have to be a friendly team, moving together in harness, as we move through life 😊

There will be bumps along the road of life’s journey.

None of us share ourselves 100% – there are parts of our lives that no one will ever get to know. And that’s okay.

True Friends understand that. MPO

But we can get to know the parts of each other we are all comfortable sharing 😉

Deborah Kerr – ‘Getting To Know You’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlx6gQWfjp0)

While we talked, laughed, shared memories about people we’ve known, commented on the snaky turns our personal lives have taken over the years, shared about how we’d met our spouses, listened while grandkids were praised, ect.; I worked on my second set of fingertip towels.

Fingertip Towels; set 2. 'Stripy' Peaches & Creme Cotton Yarn.

Before we knew it, 3 hours had passed. In the beginning of our coffee time I mentioned that I had actually planned to be in Adna this morning to buy veggie and flower transplants I don’t have a green thumb for growing, but the snowfall all week had put the kibosh on that plan. As I was leaving, I was asked what I planned to do tomorrow, and I said I was hoping to get to the Vancouver Seder I had planned to attend; but again, recent snowfall was a concern. One of the fellas said, “Boy, you sure get around, don’t you?” I smiled, and said, “I try; there’s no reason to be home.” I took a lot of ribbing for that remark, but I didn’t care because it was all in good humor 😊

I felt Elohei’s blessing on this Shabbat.

On my way home over Hazel Dell and Delameter, I noticed a snowy hillside and recalled that Bob and I had driven over that hill many times while we were dating.

Snowy hillside seen from Delameter Road, Castle Rock.

Bob was a logger when we started dating, and for half of our married life, and knew logging road tie-in’s; on weekends, we could weave on and off those logging roads all day long, from Naselle to Castle Rock; briefly driving a short strip of Ocean Beach Highway in between the gavel road weavings.

The gated logging road at the Delameter and Woodside Drive Roads was one such road we spent a lot of time on (before it was gated and closed to the public). After all the decades that have passed since that time, I can still clearly see in my mind’s eye those hot summer days when we were young and carefree – Bob driving his old red/white Ford, gritty dust kicked up from the graveled backroads circling around and dusting the interior of the truck as it filtered in through the opened windows … music blaring from the 8-track player, and us laughing and clowning around as we bounced over the heavily forested rough roads: Bob’s big right hand on my knee, and my left arm over his right shoulder – sharing cigarettes and beers. It may not be the romantic stuff idealized dreams are made of for some folks; but these were magic moments for us 😊

Memories triggered here ...

Bob and I had enjoyed several backcountry logging road tie-ins: this one was accessible from Abernathy before it was gated off. None of the tie-ins are accessible anymore.

There were a few spotty snow patches along Woodside Drive, but most of the snowfall had melted with the warming 49-degree temperatures.

And by the time I exited Coal Creek Road, the hills outside of Longview looked encouraging; the snow seems to be sparse: I'll check the forecast and see what it says about where I need to be traveling - if I decided to 'go for it' tomorrow afternoon.

Feeling encouraged to try for Vancouver tomorrow ...

We’ll see what tomorrow afternoon holds for me 😉

APRIL REFLECTIONS

The month of April is mostly happy … sometimes sad: and always a month of possibilities.

Happy, because when Bob became part of my life in the April of 1974, I learned that I am worthy of love.

Sometimes sad, because December 14^th, 2018 ended anymore April’s with Bob in them.

A month of possibilities, because that first April when we started steadily dating – led to our getting married four months later … with an ongoing honeymoon 😉; for 44 years, I lived my happily ever after – and I won’t settle for less, now; I’ll never be that lonely.

Three Dog Night – ‘Pieces of April’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6w5og_TBCtM)

The first April without Bob was a journey out of the dark, and lonely depths, of a grief that had me shaking and quaking as my body literally felt torn asunder, following Bob’s physical absence: and my heart and mind struggled to come to grips with the reality that Bob would never again be an active part of my life … he would never lie beside me again; and never again join his body with mine/speak words of love and comfort to me/walk through the front door again/walk down the hallway/reach his long arm out as I passed, and pull me down on his lap to nuzzle my neck and squeeze my waist/sit in the driver’s seat, or passenger seat/smile that sexy smile he had just for me … Bob would never do anything with me again. All of me missed Bob.

That first April of 2019, was also a journey of survival; before I could adjust to the loss of Bob’s life in connection to mine … legalities of joint accounts I had shared with Bob were suddenly in question; and one by one, all of the CEO’s legally removed/completely erased the memory of Bob ever having had holding with any of them – made me sole owner of the new account (which was just a name-removing-revamp of our ‘old’ joint account). By the time the legalities were complete, I felt as though Bob had been so completely erased from my life, perhaps the life I shared with Bob had all been a beautiful dream … that only I knew he had ever been a real part of my life for 44 years.

The second April without Bob, was a journey about living; when April 2020 rolled around, I had started forcing myself to actively start reshaping a New Life for myself on the ruins of what was left of the life I’d shared with my husband. There has been much to learn: several failures to weather, as my New Life got off to a sputtering start; many reroutes along the journey forward; and numerous victories to celebrate as the “firsts” unfolded: the first a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.’s. I ever did without Bob’s input, or physical presence beside me. There was a lot of second-guessing that piggybacked on every Solo Lobo venture: for so long my life had been joined with my husband’s, that my New Life had a hard time learning to adjust to life without Bob.

But through it all, here I am – surviving, thriving … living as full a Life as I can, Solo Lobo; in fact, the only thing really missing from my life at this point, in the third April of my New Life, is Bob’s presence in it. I have a home. I have a vehicle. I have relatively good health for a woman my age. I have friends (that I gained Solo Lobo – without Bob’s social butterfly influences). I have a volunteer job that keeps me actively engaged in the local region. I have a fairly good community nucleus that encourages physical, mental, and spiritual growth. I have food. I have good financial stability. And all of this is because Elohei loves me, cares for me, and provides for me 😊

In my ever-evolving widowhood; I realize that being alone, is not the same as being lonely. I’ve always had a healthy sense of self (even before joining my life with Bob’s) – but I admit my life was in a fierce tailspin as soon as we morphed into a solitary me. It took some time for all of me to get comfortable in a Solo Lobo skin. Whereas the seven Aprils of my life before Bob, I was always aware that Bob was walking around and breathing somewhere … and the 44 Aprils of my life with Bob, had Bob in it every day and every night – not just a dream lover anymore, but an actual in-the-flesh lover; the April’s of my New Life have been/will always be acutely aware that Bob no longer walks this Earth as a man, and no longer breathes the air that I breathe. Every single April of my New Life moving forward, I am aware that Bob will never again, share the specialness of April, we enjoyed together. That life is forever over – even in the afterlife, when I join him beyond the clouds – what we had, here on Earth, is finished. Defunct.

When April 2021 arrived, I had learned to laugh instead of cry, when life whisked me off into the dizzying, and unfamiliar cha-cha steps in this dance of life …

Best Ballroom Dancers on Got Talent: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMpgga7ve7Y)

I have learned that life is short: too short to make space for aimless and pointless loop arguments that never go anywhere beneficial, or mean anything to anyone but the arguer; too short to say no to spontaneous adventures; and too short for taking a back seat on Life’s scenic ride.

But most importantly, I have found a peace within myself.

Moving through this April of 2022, I’ve found my rhythm in the 1-step forward, 2-steps back evolution of this New Life I am moving forward in 😉

I’ve arrived at this April, with the realization that I have 100% survive the unimaginable in life – and am confidently building a previously unimaginable Life.

My New Life, this new April, is opening to fully embracing the possibilities April can hold 😊