Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

PAST, PRESENT, & FUTURE

In my brief touchdown with FB this morning, I saw a notice of raw honey for sale.

I knew the people selling the honey; I knew the address.

When Bob had died in 1981, and was resurrected to a life of steadfast salvation … he was baptized in their swimming pool.

They owned and operated the Chevron Station in Cathlamet, along Ocean Beach Highway – between Mace’s Drive-In and Phil’s Hiway Mart. Bob did business there (for Durrah’s, as well as personal business), when Carricker’s Gas Station in Cathlamet closed up.

I remember when they lost their only son in a car wreck … and Marv, who owned a tow truck was called out to pull the car out of the ditch. As soon as he saw it, he realized it was his son’s car: and his son was dead. Dorothy was devasted.

Leaving Longview in the rear-view mirror, I was thinking on that past frame of time, when I happened to glance out the right-hand side of the windshield; and saw a beaver dam had recently been built in the wetland area along Ocean Beach Highway.

I enjoyed seeing that – the closest beaver dam sighting is up Spruce Creek; a spur off Mill Creek Road, further down the highway. A logging road at the end of Spruce Creek used to drop right into Cathlamet behind the golf course before it was gated on both ends, in the 1980’s. We drove that road a lot: I miss that.

Entering Cathlamet, I saw the burger shack, and nipped in there for a quick lunch.

Back Roadz hamburger shack.
The car really needs a washing ... the windows are in sad shape. Hopefully the weather will warm enough to get to that task.
I got a Chicken Burger.

When I PM’d Dorothy earlier about the honey, she didn’t recognize the name (and I didn’t bring it to her attention) – we’d been gone from Cathlamet for 2½ decades. When I showed up at the house, and she saw me, then she recognized me. She asked about Bob; and I told her Bob now lives in Heaven. She was sad to hear that news. As we walked to the garage, (where she has the honey stored in a warm cupboard, so the honey doesn’t crystalize), she asked if I was attending a church anywhere. I said no; not currently. She understood. She knows what it is like to piece a shattered life back together before engaging fully in life, again.

Elochoman Valley Raw Honey.

We talked of past times. We were never close friends; but we did know each other enough to have things in common to discuss.

We talked of the present – her husband has been in OHSU. She believes he had a bout with covid; though that has not been diagnosed. Marv’s health is still very fragile. They have been Senior Citizens for a long time. She is concerned for her husband in the present … and worried about the future.

Our situations are similar, and the circumstances are different; but we talk the same language.

She asked me if I had moved back to Cathlamet: I said I live now in Longview (and have for 25 years), and I am making Longview my home. There is nothing recognizable to me in Cathlamet, now. There is no pull to lure me back. Bob was my tie to Cathlamet; and he is no longer walking among us. Except for Bob, I was always an outsider in that clannish river hamlet.

After I had stashed the honey jars in the car, I decided to drive to Skamokawa to find the ‘Inn at Crippen Creek’ … and I did; at the end of Middle Valley Road.

The Inn at Crippen Creek Farm ... I think I'll give this a “pass”.
Middle Valley Road, Skamokawa.

I couldn’t spend time there: there are memories connected with that place, that aren’t good ones: the memories do not affect me personally – but it was tragic for bio-father’s family. I just couldn’t … that creek would bring all those memories to the forefront of my thoughts, and I would not have a relaxing, or enjoyable time.

So …

I turned the car homeward.

And drove through Cathlamet, along the way. I have no desire to move back there – but I can’t resist driving familiar territory. 20 years of my 64 years were happily spent there, before we sold and moved.

Cathlamet is basically a tourist town now, and the Marina is practically the sole town money-maker. And, it was buzzing with activity today! Every boat berth was full; every parking lot space was loaded with trucks hauling boats; and every RV spot was packed.

There was no activity, at all, on Main Street.

When I got back home, I opened the windows to let fresh, sunny air breeze through the rooms; and worked a bit on another baby blanket (my own design) before eating a light Supper. I was still kinda full from the chicken burger/fries I ate around noon. But it was 6 PM, and I didn’t want churning stomach acids from an empty stomach to keep me up all night long: I ate a light supper.

Tonight's Supper. Roast Turkey breast, salad w-peas, carrots; peach slices. *A low-calorie French Salad Dressing recipe follows..

==LOW-CAL FRENCH DRESSING ~ About ½ cup

Soak: 1 teaspoon Gelatin in 1 Tablespoon cold Water or Tomato Juice

Gelatin and tomato juice.

Dissolve it in: ¼ cup boiling Water

Gelatin mixture dissolved in hot water.

Add: 1 Tablespoon Sugar & ½ teaspoon Sea salt

Cool mixture.

Add: 1 teaspoon grated Lemon rind * ¼ cup Lemon Juice * 1/8 teaspoon prepared Mustard * ¼ teaspoon Paprika * A few grains powdered Cayenne pepper * 1/8 teaspoon ground Black Pepper * ¼ teaspoon Onion Juice * 1/8 teaspoon Curry powder

Spices & parsley added.

Shake the dressing. Chill it. Before serving, beat well with a wire beater. Add, if you wish: 2 Tablespoons minced Parsley & 1 tablespoon minced Chives.

This light meal was filling.

Tonight, 2021 years ago, Yeshua was given a Judas Kiss, following supper.

He, and his disciples were gathered together in the Upper Room, celebrating the Passover festivities – and Yeshua was initiating the very first Communion, that Christians still observe, in these days.

Upper Room in Jerusalem.
Last Supper memorial with Yeshua; Luke 22:1-38.
Last Supper meaning; the road to Zion's in your heart. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFHX55W6mSQ)

Following the last supper he would ever eat on earth, Yeshua went to a garden in Gethsemane to pray … and was betrayed by Judas. Yeshua knew the betrayal was coming; and He was prepared when the soldiers came to arrest him.

Jesus prayed in the Garden; Luke 22:39-46.

His arrest and trial went very quickly: he was tried, sentenced, hung, buried, and resurrected from Wednesday to Sunday’s timeframe.

And through it all, Yeshua showed compassion, and exampled kindness towards those who used and abused Him.

Luke 22:48-51.

The life, teaching, examples, and acceptance of Yeshua towards those (and me), are what helps me go through my time of lonesome sorrowing – past, present, and future.

I am thankful knowing He walks beside me, every step of the unfamiliar way – where the only certainty is that He is.

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

BUSY DAY IN 2 COUNTIES ~ No Lamb in Sight

I needed to go downtown for some batteries, so I did that – after I set the garbage bins out for tomorrow’s pick up.

It was supposed to be a quick trip downtown.

I didn't get fancy with my appearance.

After I bought the batteries, I thought I’d drive into Castle Rock and grab a few salads to round out my meals.

As I neared Castle Rock, I heard the talking head on the radio say, “It appears March has come in like a Lamb, and will go out like a Lamb”. I burst out laughing, envisioning a rampaging lamb – I don’t know where that fella was speaking from; but I can tell you that in these parts, a March Lion has been tearing things up, with some pretty schizoid weather.

There hasn’t been a Lamb in sight …

March's feisty 'lamb'.

When I got to Castle Rock, and was in Select Market thinking what type of salads to bring home … I got to thinking of all the tasty salad dressings I could whip up using any of the collected recipes I have gathered over the decades: so, I came home with 3 plastic containers of various salad greens - they’ll do until my own garden starts pumping out salad greens 😉

Heading back home, I turned off Westside Highway onto Delameter Road; it has been a while since I’ve used that crossover road. I was hoping the road construction had moved past the gravel stage … but if it was still a dusty/muddy mess, I’d tough the rough ride out – the car is filthy anyway until the rains settle down, and it can get washed (hopefully in April).


Delameter Road to Heron Pointe. 16 min's (9.6 miles).

Driving along Delameter, I was glad to see there was no more gravel: but I was not glad to see what has been done with that lovely country drive. The road has been raised significantly in places; a hay strewn mud wall rises on one side, guardrails are placed statically, and ugly metal bar-cement bridges have been put over culvert drainage ditches.

The whole thing really hurt my eyes: the drive used to be relaxing, and pretty.

Now, it is some ‘educated’ eco-freak’s urban eye-sore.

A little further on, another ugly sight assaulted my vision.

A tiny patch of forest had been logged – and again, some ‘educated’ eco-freak’s idea is messing up the view.

Logging going on up Delameter - small patch; probably a private log sale.

I don’t have a problem with logging … I married a logger in 1974 – and Bob was born into/raised in a logging family. I appreciate loggers.

But I do have a problem with educated idiots forcing their idea of utopia on us: those raised logging litter pyramids are an eye-sore – and wildfire tinder. The litter pyramids are ridiculous; and serve no logical reason, other than to soothe the egomaniac’s {reasoning}.

I was glad to put Delameter Road behind me when I reached the end of it.

And that was a sad thought : Delameter used to be a nice country cross-over drive.

After I got home, and put the salad greens in the ‘fridge, it was about 11 AM: so, I got to thinking it was still early in the day … and I hadn’t been to Eden Valley yet this year; so, I put together some flower urns with Spring theme flower arrangements for Bob’s Grandparent’s plot, and his Father plot – and took some Spring flowers along, to put on our plot, replacing those I had placed in the Fall.

Off I went.

The day was young.

The weather was favorable.

Eden Valley has always soothed me.

Eden Valley Cemetery from Heron Pointe. 59 min. (46.6 mi)

When I got to our plot, I saw again, that everything had been scattered; I picked up the upended flower pot and solar lamp. It’s kinda disheartening when I see the floral arrangements I make up/set in place, strewn around I tatters.

Glancing around the cemetery perimeters, I could see that stormy weather had caused a lot of damage to the sentinel trees standing along the borders.

It looks like storm chaos blew through.
Several trees were 'topped', and broken limbs lay all around the premises.
The poor bedraggled trees and shrubs need pruning.

Everywhere was evidence of March tearing through like a lion: there was no evidence there has been a gentle lamb passing through …

Everyone else’s plots looked bright and cheery – but the people who place the arrangements live in the Valley, and can stay on top of the blowsy situations … I do not, so it is discouraging to always be picking up scattered remnants of the arrangements I lovingly make to honor those I have loved/those who have loved me.

I brought the flower pot and tattered flowers home; and I’ll take the lovely arrangements I made this afternoon back when the weather has settled down, and they may actually stay in place.

Driving back home, I was startled to see – and feel – the highway sliding away near the Transfer Station turnout.

Highway sliding near top of KM.

Is the whole KM area falling apart?

March’s Lamb must have bypassed this area, too.

If the County gets to fixing this stretch of road, that will put a real pinch in travel between neighboring towns; there is no close alternate route that would connect Skamokawa with Graysriver: KM Mountain is {it}.

I hate the Astoria-Megler Bridge, which would be the only alternate route available if/when the road patchwork is done.

That would be a very long alternate route to Graysriver.

Wahkiakum County

There are logging roads that tie-in; but those rough roads are gated to the public because of morons that have dumped garbage … and bodies … on isolated logging roads. The logging roads would be good alternates because they are pretty (rough, but pretty scenic); but garbage and dead bodies would not be pleasant to see along the route.

And most people, driving cars, want paved alternate routes.

Coming off KM Mountain, I noticed a computer update on the car’s dashboard: {power mode} is a new thing that wasn’t there earlier – and it is apparently “off”, and I was not understanding what needed to be done to turn it “on”. I didn’t even know what it is for. So … I drove straight through Longview, to Dick Hannah’s in Kelso.

I don't know what 'power mode' is ... or why it's 'off'; so drove to Dick Hannah's when I reached Longview.
MAP Cowlitz County
Dick Hannah in Kelso from Ocean Beach Highway, Longview. 13 mins.

The Power Mode purpose never was explained to me – but the fella there did turn it on 😉

Leaving Dick Hannah’s, I decided to stop in at the Chef’s Store Warehouse Foods, and grab some halibut – I am sticking to my weight loss agenda 😊

While I was there, I grabbed some sea scallops too.

I like fish meals – Bob didn’t.

But now, there is just my taste buds to please … so, I came home with halibut, sea scallops, and cleaned-filleted-razor clams 😉

Stopped at Chef's Store on the way home and got some Sea Scallops for my WW Meals.
SPENDY, but worth it.

This week is Holy Week observances of the Last Supper … leading up to Good Friday, and Resurrection Sunday.

I am so glad that the insanity of the demonrat obamanites cannot seriously affect my life. I live in this world, that is truebut I do not love this world; therefore, I am not bound by the raging insanity of the obamanite lawlessness.

I am thankful for the scenic beauty of Yeshua’s created world: but, I know that it will some day go up in flames – to be replaced with a new world, and a beauty that will never fade.

I am thankful for my life: but, I know that eventually this body will die, and my spirit will be housed in a new body – like the one Bob’s spirit now resides in; a body that will never know pain, or age.

I am thankful that I gave birth … and welcomed 4 grandchildren into our family network; but, I know the children and grandchildren are individuals that have to make their own decision concerning Elohei. I love them, but I do not love them more than Yeshua. Bob understood this – the children/grandchildren do not; they do not want to understand. They do not acknowledge Elohim. They do not want to know Yeshua. They reject the Ruach Ha’Kodesh. Elohei is foreign to them … and they hate me for being a Christian.

They have chosen the world, and everything that is of the world.

When my time here on Earth comes to an end, I want to be where Yeshua, and Bob are.

Mahalia Jackson – “When I Wake Up In Glory” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw4GMsTrwhE)

Mahalia Jackson – “Walk All Over God’s Heaven” ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSq9tvwM5_c)

My whole life – since I was 8 years old – has been built around my love for Yeshua and his devotion to me; I cannot allow my love for anything or anyone committed to living for this world and what this world has to offer, to override my love for Yeshua; I will remain faithful and true to Yeshua.

He is my heart’s desire.

He is my Salvation.

He is the Lover of my soul.

He is my Husband.

Sunday, March 28, 2021

SUNDAY DEVELOPMENTS

Last week, I had bought some things in Scappoose that needed to be returned … so, I decided to return those things this morning 😉

I hit the road bright and early, because rain was in the forecast for some time around noon – the gray clouds over both states gave credibility to the forecast.

Coming into Scappoose, OR.

After I had returned the unusable items/replaced them with usable replacements, I turned the car towards home.

But my attention was snagged as I passed through St. Helens, and saw a sidewalk sandwich board set up by Great Clips Hair Salon, reading ‘Walk-ins Accepted”.

Passing thru St. Helens on my way home.

My hair has been looking a little shaggy, so, I made the turn into the parking lot; and walked in.

The girl told me that “Yes, we are accepting walk in’s … but, there is a 2½ hour wait.”

I just looked at her for about 5 seconds, before saying, “Your sandwich board is advertising that you are seeking walk-ins: a two and a half wait is not {walk in} business.”

She said, “Well, we do accept walk ins, but online appointments are preferred – and there are a few before you.”

That remark earned her another 5 second look. If they prefer online appointments, what is the point of sidewalk advertising?

But I was there, determining to live ‘in the moment’; and I had no where in particular to be: not then … not 2½ hours from then.

So, I took a seat and waited.

And got up occasionally to walk around and look at the various hair products for sale – which, no doubt is the real purpose behind the waiting: kinda like stores that put their ‘attention snagging-sure sale’ items at the checkout conveyor belts.

And bought a frizz controlling hair product, similar to the Hair Glass hair product of the 1980’s: I like it, and haven’t seen it anywhere else. I was thankful then, that I had decided to wait – and that my attention had been snagged 😉

Hair stuff I brought home with me.

When it was finally my turn, I told the girl what I wanted … and she gave me a 5 second look: she had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve been getting that look a lot from hair salon employees that were born in the 1990’s. So; realizing I would never get a decent shag cut ever again, as the hairdresser’s get younger and younger, I told her to just trim it so it will eventually all be one length, with layering at the crown, and feathering around my face, with bangs.

That she understood. 

She cut off an inch and a half: by mid-Summer, when I trim ends again, my hair length should be equal all around; falling nicely down my back – except for the crown layering.

And, honestly, that will work better for me when I am hiking, or working outside in my garden … I can pull it back in a small, smooth bun.

Going for all 1 length.

When I reached home and brought everything into the house, from the car, I looked at my little {haul}, and thought ow much things had changed in 27 months; and at how much the home Bob and I had bought together (and enjoyed together for only 18 months), was morphing so completely into my own domain.

These things I ferried home, aren’t that much – but they are important to finishing up the setting up of the setting up of our home before that got rudely/sadly interrupted 31 months ago.

The dish drainer, clothespins, and lint rollers would have been bought eventually.

The shoes holder, and the smaller compact shelving; not.

There wouldn’t have been all this extra closet space if Bob were still here, in the flesh: his clothing would have taken up half the closet that only holds my clothing now – there would not have been room for the shoe holder; our shoes would have littered the closet floor … now the closet has been totally reorganized; and there is room for the shoe holder.

And the empty closet in the spare bedroom – where the shelving will be set up/installed, used to be filled with our 5 year-old grandson’s things. But now, that closet is empty (for the time being), the bed is covered with a plastic sheet; and the room that used to ring with laughter, and chirpy chatter, now echoes with silence. The bed is no longer needed, and the closet will morph into a spare pantry.

I, and only I, live in this house now.

It is starting to become my own private domain.

I don’t like that fact: I am adjusting to that reality.

I put my purchases away, and got busy making Supper.

I had thought about buying a Subway sandwich when I passed through Scappoose on my way home – but, I am determined to shear 20/25 pounds off this year, to give my aging and aching joints some relief.

So …

I got busy in the kitchen 😊

Supper only took half an hour from skillet to table:

Supper tonight - Chicken Breast w-Herbed Vegetables.

The forecasted rain arrived as I was washing up the dishes.

I couldn’t help thinking how the falling rain {fit} the Holy Week festivities.