I WON'T BACK DOWN

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

MY SPECIAL ANGEL


I am a military brat.

My mother LOVED music - and that is where I get my love of music from.

My mother has SO MANY 45's that they HAD THEIR OWN ROOM!

And their own traveling arrangement every time we moved from one place to another ;-)

They reached the ceiling from their stacks on the floor ... and we had to walk mazes through them to select one: she always KNEW where everything was located.

I always called this era of music "Angel music" - don't know why: I just always did.

I was 7 months old when this song became a crossover hit - Bob was in the 2nd Grade ;-)

And now, Bob is MY 'Special Angel'.

MY LIFE … IS PRETTY BORING


But, it is mine ;-)

The “To Do” List notations were jotted down a few months ago to force myself to get out and DO things:

My weekly {prod} … pretty boring: and sometimes even this little bit doesn’t even get ‘done’; it all depends on my emotions on any particular day.

I do like to walk; and I like to walk in a variety of locations.

I do like to take daytrips; the drive to Scapoose will take me furthest this year on my solo venturing – and I like to haunt Goodwills because I can find odds and ends hard to find anywhere else, at reasonable prices. I chose Scapoose Goodwill right now, because (1) I have NO idea how to get to the one in Centralia, taking the backroads (Bob KNEW: I don't) (2) I will feel like I am on an adventure 'to another State' (which, is actually quite true), despite the drive being very familiar because we have driven that roadway constantly for the past 45 years. Last time I was there a few weeks ago, I got a real nice Fall vase that I can’t wait to use. And I plan on scheduling some weekend walks at various County Parks … when I feel that I can feel comfortable spreading my wings in that direction: I haven’t yet – but the notation is staying on the “To Do” list {just in case} ;-)

The List IS pretty boring – but, maybe next year I will be more accepting of my new life without Bob in it; and be a little more comfortable in it, and the notations will get livened up a bit.

We'll see.

Today, I watered my garden area; and did some garden prep for approaching the Fall season. And I pulled, sliced & diced the onions too …

Garden watering & Fall prep.
I pulled some carrots that were ready for harvest in this bed; and I hilled the sprouting Leeks, so they have nice long, white, shanks when they mature in the Spring of 2020.
Garden Box cleanup & Spring Bulb pots storage; I’ll snug some fallen leaves around everything when they fall in the Fall – to keep unexpected frost from damaging the bulbs; or the nursery pots.
Stunted Kandy Corn not doing good at all because of the weather.
The Garden Box Bob designed & built for me, is 18” tall – so the corn stalks are VERY stunted this year. I think the "tallest" one is only 3 or 4 feet tall - ((IF)) even that ... and THAT ESTIMATE INCLUDES the height of the box!
Yellow Onions – I already bagged the quartered pieces in the house; these will be diced, and the trimmings spread in the garden box for ‘green compost’. I got 6 ct. Quartered, & 8 ct. Diced. Would have had more if the sun had cooperated this year … also, onion sets never do well here - and onion sets is what I had time for this year. Next year, I plan to start onions to plant, from seed.
While I was slicing & dicing, I happened to notice that the Begonia I bought for Bob’s enjoyment, 11 years ago, is doing a LOT better in this location, under the carport. It is really thriving here. That makes me happy, because he liked it so much. I relocated it a few weeks ago
The Red Onions didn’t do very well at all this year, but I did manage to get 3 ct. Quartered, & 6 ct. Diced. I also pulled & froze the Walla Walla's: and got 8 ct. Quartered & 10 ct Diced. All these onions will get me through the Winter - not sure about the coming Spring before garden season starts anew ...
Onion trimmings laid out in the garden boxes they grew in.
My favorite hose had a blow-out while I was hosing the carrots off ... and this type of hose can't be bought anywhere, anymore: I LOOKED all over town this Spring: NADA. No where :-(

The hose blow-out was LOUD and I jumped a little – but I knew what happened, because the water pressure was reduced to nil while I held the hose sprayer at full force … and the back of my legs immediately got wet with the wildly flying spray. Damn it! One more thing Bob and I bought together that has bit the dust – and it isn’t even that old: we bought it when we bought this house, 2 years ago.

Bob bought me this hose because his Uncle Cliff has one at his house in Oregon, and I commented that I really liked it because there would be no more kinks in my hose if I had one. Bob bought it, and presented it to me with a smile and a chuckle because he knew I hated wrestling my hose.

The loss of that shrinker hose really deflated me. I know it sounds stupid, but when that hose blew, I was hit with an immediate bummer attitude. I am tired of letting go this year – First, Bob … and then CONSISTENTLY EVERYTHING WE HAD TOGETHER, ever after. I’m just really d.o.n.e. with losing things in my life that had Bob’s stamp of love in/on them.

Just once, I’d like something of our life together to remain!

The 2nd front flowerbed didn’t get watered. I was too bummed out to deal with it. So, I chucked the ruined hose into the trash can, hauled the can out to the curb for tomorrow’s pick up; and went inside the house.

Where my eye caught the stone hearts against the background of Bob’s begonia in the background. Seeing these things made me smile. And it was almost like I could feel Bob winking at me, and telling me, “Everything will be okay Val – the hose was only ‘a thing’, and it really doesn’t mean a thing, because I love you – with or without ‘things’ to remind you of that.”

That thought squeezed my heart.

In a good way.

That thought would be something he would say :-D

The 6 stone hearts that I have found around the rain barrels at the back of the house – Bob’s Orange Begonia hanging in the background.

So, smiling, I opened the freezer and pulled some meat packages out, to cook make-ahead-freezer-meals with:

I took stuff out of the freezer to make meals with this week. It was a good variety: Fish-Pork-Chicken-& Beef. I was just grabbing stuff, and wasn’t aware of what I had until I laid it out to thaw: GOOD SELECTIONS for a varied menu ;-)

Bob can STILL brighten up a boring day, and bring an instant smile into my life ;-)

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX