Just East of Eden : widow healing

Showing posts with label widow healing. Show all posts

Friday, July 1, 2022

Activity

I paid bills this morning, then thought I’d go for a drive: I originally had intended to only go as far as Kalama ... but, I ended up in Woodland, at the Wal*Mart there. A friend said her sons were working there; and it’s been a long while since I’ve been there. The day was sunny, and the drive is short – 30 minutes 1-way, provided here are no freeway snafues.

I washed my hair (no styling) – and let it go at that, and I rested my face (no makeup).

Looking at my image in the mirror, it was obvious that my tee-shirt days are over … there will be no picture sharing today. I didn’t change my shirt, but I won’t be wearing it again. It’s a nice tee, but form-fitting jersey material doesn’t work for my shape anymore.

Lake Sacajawea Park, and R.A. Long School grounds along Nichol’s Boulevard, were packed with 4^th of July vendors and carnival rides in various stages of being set in place.

Both sides of Nichol's Boulevard to WA Way Bridge, is lined with vendors and carnival rides for the GO 4th! Celebration.

The freeway was pretty stress-free 😊, given it is a holiday weekend. I got to Woodland without suffering a migraine headache, or getting jumpy when cars and trucks played leap frog all around me.

29 min (24.9 mi) via WA-432 E and I-5 S

Drove to Woodland Wal-Mart this afternoon ...

Lunch – this Wal-Mart has this option ... most do not.

It's been a while since I've been here.

The healing continues – it’s a slow process.

Venus Hum – ‘Where You Are’ song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9YEJj0AYT4)

I think I’ll go back to the Wal*Mart in Woodland – it’s a superstore, and it has more inventory; and it’ll be a change of pace and scenery. Plus, I like driving the country backroads home 😉

Even though I drove the 20 minutes on the freeway to Woodland … I drove the shaded backroads home because the high humidity was torture on the freeway, where there is no shade at all.

I took the Green Mountain Road.

Snaky ... but shady; well worth the diversion, to me.

Driving along Carroll’s Bluff, I received an incoming call inviting me to Supper in the country July 4^th; so, I nipped in at Safeway’s when I reached Longview to top the gas tank off, and picked up my contribution – and I grabbed a dozen organic eggs (true organic: free range, no hormones, and no antibiotics added).

Truly organic eggs have been nearly impossible to find - so I snagged these as soon as I spotted them.

And this pretty much curtails any more 1 hour-long daytrips this month.

Dentist appointments (paid out of pocket), and the daily escalating gas prices are effectively doing what covid could not do: cooling my heels, and keeping my activities local – I’ve made two hour-long drives this week … and paid heftily at the pump station ☹

It’s very annoying.

And very frustrating.

I need to get out-of-house: being cooped up, and hemmed-in by four walls is not a healthy state of mind for this solo lobo; trips to the dentist don't count as getting out and about.

Sunday, December 19, 2021

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, LORD

'The Promise’ Song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyX-uriW3qk)

When you get to a point in your life; where you know you want to move forward, but you don’t which road to take … and you’re afraid you’ll take the wrong road … those are the scariest moments.

I’m at that point.

And it seems that Elohim will be expecting more of me in the coming New Year, than He did the past three years.

My thought this morning was, “You can’t be serious, Lord!’.

I’m not fool: I know that when Elohim is insistent that I do something (and it appears that He has been, lately – and probably through the New Year), I also know that there are areas in my life, that He’s going to be shining a light on with the message that it’s time to get my house in order.

I really did not want to do this, this morning. Last time I had been at this particular fellowship, it did not end well – the previous pastor’s son had slid into his father’s place as pastor, and he was throwing his weight around: his ego was out of control, and easily bruised. Basically, he was becoming a full-fledged tyrant: and yu’all know how I feel about, and deal with tyrants. Bob was my main concern in that fracas.

Things, then, did not end well. At all.

But … when Elohim wants something done, it gets done; one way or the other

As soon as I walked into the foyer, I noticed that things had changed. Significantly.

Attitudes were more subdued.

Attendance was noticeably smaller.

A scent of humbleness was in the air.

God's Will be done ...

Jr. was arrogantly argumentative; a bully.

Covid had humbled the family & congregation, despite the masks, shots, and boosters: covid is indiscriminate in how – and who – it strikes.

I was welcomed. Sincerely, and warmly by those who remembered me.

I was sorry to hear about the deaths; and the struggle for life the other family members went through – I would never wish suffering or death on anyone; no matter how rotten they treated me, or mine.

I know the pastor and his entire family had masked up - and got the jab followed up by boosters. I know this, because I know them: they would have taken every safeguard. But, covid will not be denied it's pound of flesh. Covid was designed to be a destroyer.

And everyone there, who knew Bob and I was a couple, were sad to hear of Bob’s absence in my life.

By the time fellowship wrapped up, healing for all parties concerned, had taken place.

I really was glad I went.

I was thankful Elohei went before me and prepared the way.

I am grateful for Elohim’s mercy, and Yeshua’s grace.

So, there was a healing that took place this morning on several levels, in several lives – and that’s usually how healing happens: it comes in the doing of what you’d rather avoid. But, growth does not happen by avoiding certain circumstances or painful experiences.

Burying the hatchet must be Elohim's Pan for 2022.

'Joy In The Journey’ Song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfW61yKyirY)

Either Elohim’s going to be blessing me big time … or He’s getting ready to punch my ‘Come Home!’ Ticket. Either way, I need to be ready to face Him with full confidence to receive the crown he had laid away for me.

And I think I am ready – but apparently, there are things, that He thinks need to be settled. So, he’s doing it. His way Seriously 😉

Friday, June 18, 2021

LINCOLN CITY ~Traveling Thursday: Solo Lobo Daytrip

Yesterday morning, I decided to drive to Lincoln City!

I had been planning to drive to Lincoln City for a while; I even researched a return loop drive on internet mapping, for a change of pace 😊

I would take the comfortable route that Bob always drove, first: then, I would switch things on the way back – avoiding any touching down in Portland. Sometimes, Bob would drive back home through Portland because he wanted to cruise the I-5 freeway. Portland and the I-5 gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Studying the mapping routes, I knew I wanted to come home the middle route, through Vernonia. Bob had never tried that route … so, that is the route I wanted.

I want my new life to include as many new things in it as possible.

First, I stopped on Commerce to play a game of pool with Darlean … she’s 81 yo, and a real firecracker, there’s plenty of life still in her. She enjoys playing pool; and while I have my own way of playing … I let her “coach” me in techniques she finds helpful. It’s a small thing that means a lot; and who knows? Her teaching may come be handy, someday.

Learning new things is important at every stage in life.

After we’d played an hour, her pinochle game was starting, so she veered off to that – and I veered off for my Lincoln City, OR adventure 😉

Doing the Lincoln City Daytrip today.

Warrenton, Or from Heron Pointe, WA.1 hr 18 min (59.8 mi) via US-30 W

Crossing the little bridge from Astoria to Warrenton, a brown pelican flew across the bridge in front of the Highlander: I think it’s time to make time to watch the pelicans again, in Chinook, WA.

I always enjoyed this trip when we made it. And even though I was a little nervous making the long drive solo lobo, I was getting caught up in the adventure of my unfolding day 😊

Lincoln City from Warrenton – 1 hr. 20 min (103.9 mi) via US-101 S

The sky beyond Seaside looked ominous – but the weather forecast was predicting upper 70’s inland. The beach is usually 10-degrees cooler, and I was expecting that (that’s why I brought my fleece jacket with me); but I didn’t want to spend my adventure under a gray sea fog cloud.

I drove forward with a hope and a prayer.

The sky beyond was heavy with dark clouds - I prayed it would burn off before I got there.

Cute barking seals & yummy fried bread Elephant Ears beckoned ... but my heart isn't ready to respond to the lure, yet.

At Head Point, a roadside blinking light was warning of fallen rock – and the cleanup looked pretty recent. I cautiously drove forward.

In for a penny … in for a pound.

A little further up the road, just out of Cannon Beach; the beautiful, sparkling, tricolored ocean water caught my eye: and I nipped into a roadside turnout to give my eyes a treat … and to stretch my legs.

This beautiful water, and the huge boulder caught my eye as I passed out of Cannon Beach.

Waaaaay out in the watery distance, waves were bouncing off 2 more rocky outcrops.

I switched cameras, and zoomed in ... and saw that there were people standing around the smaller rock.

I thought this might be a cave-rock, but it's not; it's just been eroded.
To the left of this beautiful stretch of ocean ... was Haystack Rock.

Haystack Rock, OR from Longview, WA; via US-30 W & US-101 S - 1 hr. 39 mins.

ARCH CAPE TUNNEL. I think this tunnel is longer than the tunnel under Fort Columbia, near Longbeach, WA.

Arch Cape Tunnel; OR: https://www.innatarchcape.com/cannonbeach/2018/12/9/8-fascinating-facts-about-arch-cape-tunnel

Fort Columbia Tunnel; WA: https://bridgehunter.com/wa/pacific/1618A0000000/

And 15 minutes later, I stopped again, at my favorite roadside turnout along this route. This is a favorite stop, so the parking is tight.

Looking into the southern direction, from Oswald West Viewpoint; that is where I was aiming for.

I was glad to see the clouds were indeed burning off.

Neahkahnie Mountain is one of the highest points on the Oregon Coast – it stands at 1,661 feet above sea level. The view of the ocean from the turnouts along the highway are awesome.

And, during gray whale migrations (mid-December to mid-January & late-February to May) you can spot whales easily as large groups of whales (as many as 20,000 gray whales) pass through these waters; traveling from Alaska to their breeding waters in Baja California.

I’ve always wanted to do some whale watching … maybe I’ll pencil that in for the Spring of 2022 😊

Neahkahnie Mountain: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neahkahnie_Mountain

Highway US-101, Neahkahnie Mountain: https://www.oregonhistoryproject.org/articles/historical-records/highway-101-neahkahnie-mountain/#.YMzWqGhKjIU

Neahkahnie Mountain Bridge: https://bridgehunter.com/or/tillamook/neahkahnie-mountain/

Crossing a small bridge spanning the Nehalem River, I drove through a sleepy, quaint, shotgun town named Wheeler; with a throw-back-era vibe: there’s not much there to see, but it has a potent small town likability: I liked it 😉

Driving through Rockaway Beach reminded me of Longbeach, WA. It is basically a tourist trap; with lots of cute, colorful shops and resort housing lining both sides of the highway – tucked in among fancy housing for the wealthy. It’s a rich man’s get-away haven.

I made Hebo at 2:30 PM; it’s a pit-stop town. But family members have lived there at one time or another, so I’m familiar with it.

Hebo from Arch Cape; via US-101 S - 1 hr. 10 mins.

The IRA has determined that Christianity stems from the Republican Party. M.O.R.O.N.S.

IRS States Bible Teaching is Republican in Nature: https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2021/06/16/2248428/0/en/IRS-Denies-Religious-Group-Tax-Exempt-Status-States-Bible-teachings-are-affiliated-with-the-Republican-party.html

I am a Christian. I am not a Republican.

I am a Christian: I do not endorse any political party.

Politicians do not speak for me; or Christianity.

I forcefully kicked the IRS, and the neanderthal demonrats out of my thoughts: I intended to enjoy my day.

I am not going to allow the obamanites to highjack my thoughts and wreak havoc on my emotions. Wickedness does not get to set wildfires to my life.

Around 3 PM, I entered Lincoln City.

((((WHOOHOO!)))) I made it.

Without suffering any road trip anxiety 😊

I gassed up – I had only used ¼ tank of gas: GPS was telling me I’d have a 3 hr. 38 mins. return backtrack trip back home. I wasn’t backtracking … so, I wanted to make sure I had enough gas for the loop trip I was planning 😉

After topping the gas tank off, I went in search of food – all I had eaten was a chocolate filled croissant/cup of coffee for breakfast, and a soft drink on the road: my stomach was letting me know it was time to top it off too.

I was feeling confident, and accomplished.

I made Lincoln City!

Kyllo's Seafood & Grill from Hebo; via US-101 S - 31 mins.

Kyllo's Menu; I ordered the Goose Point Oyster meal.

And there went my Bingo! Winnings; hahaha

Interior of Kyllo's.

The view from my table.

My Meal; it was delish. But, it was extravagantly overpriced.

I watched the ocean waves, and people playing on the beach as I enjoyed my Supper.

The staff was friendly, polite, and attentive: I liked that.

The atmosphere was elegant, festive, and inviting: I liked that.

The food was wildly expensive … but also, pleasing: I liked that.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I was hit with a sharp jab of missingness: I don’t know why it sprang into my moment. Tears welled up, and the oysters stuck in my throat. I shook the missingness away, wiped my eyes, and finished eating my expensive celebratory meal.

But I was acutely aware that Bob was missing from my happy accomplishment. I knew, that if he were seeing me, he was applauding my success … but, as I sat at my fancy table, eating my fancy supper in a fancy, upscale food joint, my satisfied heart was missing Bob.

He always loved the ocean.

He would have enjoyed this place.

I determined I was not going to entertain the missingness: Bob would not want me to – he wanted me to live and to live fully.

I knew, though, that I was not going to be spending the night. I thought perhaps I would (the overnight bag was in the Highlander), but after the emotional moments at the table, I couldn’t have spent a night alone in a strange bed, in another State, alone with missingness coming at me out of left field.

I knew I would not enjoy that adventure, yet.

Another trip, for sure.

I’ll keep packing that overnight bag when I engage in all-day daytrips; and eventually, the timing will be right.

Little steps … 1 at a time.

I asked that my Key Lime Pie desert to be boxed, paid my supper tab, and beat feet for my parked car. Nearing the Highlander, I spotted a rock I nabbed as a remembrance of my victorious accomplishment.

The rock fits the ‘beach drive’ day 😉

My memento 'clam shell rock' from the parking lot; when I look at it, I will remember how much I grew, and spread my unfurling wings, on this Daytrip drive.

My drive to Lincoln City was a success – now it was time to embark on a new adventure, and hope that would also be a success. I shifted the car out of park and into go-mode.

Taking a chance with a new route home.

My new road adventure started somewhere around Otis – I’m not sure where it tied into the Neskowin junction and ended up in the Tillamook State Forest … but it did.

And it happened very smoothly.

Without road travel anxieties.

This new and adventurous return route looped through Otis (a veer off Hwy US-101 and onto Hwy #6), Neskowin (this was a windy corridor – the winds really buffeted the Highlander about), the Tillamook State Forest (a rocky, timbered, mountain Pass on Hwy #6 and along the Wilson River Highway), the NW Timber Road (a paved primitive highway – rough and snaky), Vernonia (familiar territory), Apiary Road (familiar road), and the Old Rainier Road (near Home Base).

This white bird was fledging 😉

Otis from Lincoln City; via US-101 N - 13 mins.

White Bird Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cin0QzuEss

Tillamook State Forest: https://naturalatlas.com/forest-reserves/tillamook-state-forest-2240576

I didn’t actually go to Gales Creek … but I did skirt past it, as a roadside landmark. I pay attention to landmarks so I can map them later on, at home.

Gales Creek from Otis; via US-101 N & OR-6 E - 1 hr. 35 mins.

NW Timber Road at 1000 elevation, was rough. It was narrow, and snaky with hairpin curves … and by 6 PM … was as dark as 9 PM, because of the thick, leafy tree canopy that hung over the roadway.

NW Timber Road.

The road signs said ’35 mph’ and it really should be driven slower because some of those hairpin curves were sharp and deeply cut into the corners – but locals were driving the road at 80 mph! No joke.

There was civilization up there, too (houses, kids, school bus turnout), but it was a primitive environment. I did go through one habitated patch that looked like the movie “Deliverance’ could have been filmed there … but I was out of there in a hop-skip-&-a jump.

Thank the Lord, GPS did not go whacky on this route! This road is not on a paper map.

OR Paper Road Map.

I am having an enjoyable adventure; it's ALL NEW, and helpful in chasing the blues away.

The Timber Road was interesting ... but fun, too.

Take A Back Road Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72k7xWfjTXc

This cross-cut-backcountry route shaved off a significant amount of driving time: and thank God, I have a bladder that behaves when pit stops are far and few between!

Hallelujah! Vernonia straight across the highway – there would be restrooms available if I needed to dive into one 😉

Driving through Vernonia, I realized the road I was on skirted the backside of St. Helens, OR; and I was on familiar ground 😊 Bob and I had driven the remaining roadway many, many times over the decades.

But ALL the return route to this point, had been NEW ground.

I was feeling very pleased with myself: not smug, but pleased that I had done something totally new.

And I had done it confidently.

A definite repeat drive - and I can access this road from Rainer, or St. Helens.

Old Rainier Road & Larson Road from Vernonia; via OR-47 N & Apiary Road - 43 mins.

MAP Lewis & Clark Bridge from Old Rainier Road, Larson Road, & US-30 E - 5 mins.

Cresting Rainier Hill - Columbia River Hwy 30 - and glad to see home getting closer.

I am doing more things comfortably, solo lobo.

I am making friends with GPS; and carrying paper maps in the car.

I am jumping out of my comfort zones.

I am building a life for myself; by myself.

And, I am finally – after 2½ decades – thinking of Longview as “home” (I can imagine Bob holding his hands in a prayer shape and breathing, ‘Hallelujah!’ 😉)