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Friday, April 19, 2019

OUR FIRST DATE - Reflections

Was 45 years ago today.

It wasn’t fancy … it didn’t need to be; we aren’t fancy people.

It started out with a drive to a country Cemetery where I asked Bob to take me so I could put fresh flowers on my cousin’s grave – Tim had died recently and we were close; almost like siblings more than cousins. Bob indulged me. He indulged me for weeks – he was that kind of man. Then we helped my friends, Debbie and her boyfriend Walt, move into their apartment: again, Bob was a good sport and rolled with the change of plans by which he was drafted to help with that move. After everything was moved from vehicle to apartment, we visited for a while before we went to Pietro’s for pizza and Lowenbrau beer; I was underage (17 yo) but never carded when I was with Bob … everyone figured if I was with my 24 yo 6’2” gentle giant, I was old enough: after we married and a baby followed, age was kinda irrelevant all things considered. Funny thing was that years later after I turned 21, BOB WAS CARDED and I was not! Not sure to this day how to take that one … but we continued to laugh about that incident for decades. Pietro’s was {our} special place for years, and Bruno the bartender knew us so well, he would start pouring the Lowenbrau’s from the beer tap and chatting with us as soon as we entered the pizza parlor: when he left Pietro’s to start his own pizza parlor appropriately named, Bruno’s … we followed and took our business there: Bruno knew our children and grandchildren by name – we continued to frequent Bruno’s until he retired 10 years ago.

Every day with my gentle giant was a day I always felt blessed.

And loved and cherished. Unconditionally.

But our 1st date 45 years ago today was special. It kick-started a lifetime of love that will never end (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/magic-man.html).

Even though Bob’s physical presence is no longer with me (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/12/widowhood.html), he is always with me.


I love you, Babe.




Today I started exercising again – after Bob’s spirit left his body December 14th, 2018, I pretty much stopped doing everything that required me to think. I did not want to think; thinking always took me back to December 14th watching my husband take his last breath. I did not want to keep reliving that moment. So after I came home, everything I did was simply done by rote: I went to bed, I woke up, I made coffee, I drank coffee, I walked down the hallway to the bathroom, I did laundry, I washed dishes, I cleaned house (sparingly), I drove into town to deal with the Social Security Office moronic minions (and held my temper until I left the building), I checked in on FB/checked out of FB, I checked in on my Blog/checked out of my Blog … and in between these sporadic actions I cried. And cried. And cried some more. For m.o.n.t.h.s.

Then one day I decided that I needed to get more proactive and do what my husband would want me to do: LIVE again. Active living. Living that required thinking – and doing.

First off, last month I drove onto town and bought bags of soil and filled the empty gardening boxes my husband had built for me (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/03/yesterday-was-very-busy-day-here-house.html); that action was invigorating and encouraging as well as bittersweet. Then I ordered gardening seeds and started indoor seeding trays (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/whirlwind-daysabbath-break.html) – which have taken off; and some even had to be repotted, they got so leggy (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/repotting-day.html). Many are starting to show secondary leaves now :-D Soon they will be ready to go outside in their permanent homes.

I noticed the birds at the bird feeder again: they were hungry. I had not fed them since October 2018. I drove into town and grabbed some bird feed (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/monday-monday.html). 10 minutes into town and back is a safe drive - my yo-yo-emotions could handle that.

The other day I started feeling crowded and knew I had to get out of the house – 4 months is a long time for me to stay in 1 place; when Bob was still here, we did monthly daytrips: the last daytrip we took was in July 2018 before Bob ended up in ER (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/12/goodbye-2018-welcome-2019.html): I needed to get out of the house or I’d start climbing the walls. So, I got dressed and drove into Castle Rock, a small country town about 45 minutes away. I had had a hankering for one of their fancy mixed green salads I used to buy in the store there for weeks and decided spur-of the-moment that now was the time to try the drive (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/a-little-further-down-line.html). Since December 2018, I had only driven 10 minutes into town and back home because I didn’t trust my emotions to drive any further; the drive to Castle Rock was refreshing and relaxing. I was glad I did it. And in my mind’s eye I could see Bob smiling his sexy smile and giving me a thumbs up ;-)

This morning I woke up and decided I needed to regain my physical health too. I have been eating healthy and taking care of physical appearance (mostly because I don’t want people watching me to get seriously concerned if my physical appearance stated matching my emotions) …

But I was noticing that my physical strength was slipping: no small grandchildren around anymore to lift and shift - and the granddaughters aren't having children. I haven't been walking either because of all the pollen in the air. And all those months of inactivity following Bob's graduation to a better level of life really set me back in physical strengths.

So it was time to ramp things up a bit and start buffing my lax muscles up ;-)

I know geriatric exercises aren’t much of a “ramping up”, and they certainly will not lead to being be "buff", but at 62, the laid-back and low-stress exercises  are helpful. And being a woman alone now, I don’t want to jump into the vigorous exercises I used to do and wreak my body to the point of needing medical attention/intervention – that would be stupid.

These exercises are low key and they work … I am already feeling the burn.

And that is a good thing :-D