Today I woke with a grateful heart, and ready to tackle the day’s tasks.
I am grateful for where I am in my life; at this moment.
I live between worlds: I live a double life.
I am rebuilding a life/home, here on Earth; and I am building a life geared towards my Home in Heaven, beyond the clouds.
I am building both lives on the foundation of my past life, simultaneously.
This morning I woke up knowing this was the day of my first date with Bob – 47 years ago … 1 hour and 2 minutes ago marked the hour. I had waited in excited anticipation for 7 PM to roll around that April 19th, so long ago. When he knocked on the door, my feet flew to answer it: and there he stood 😊 So tall. So handsome. So ready to get to know me.
I’d Like To Get To Know You Better: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pI2eofY1dow)
But instead of entertaining all those beautiful memories this morning, I quickly got out of bed. I did not want to start crying. I did not want to be poked by the sharp finger of missingness.
I knew that I would have pizza and a beer for Supper – that is what we had for our first date: that is what I would have tonight, in remembrance of the night that changed my life forever.
But, in the moment – this day, I would be thankful for the opportunity to redirect my thoughts that would bring healing into my life (physical healing is linked to spiritual balance); and I would pour all of today’s energy into prepping the garden area for this year’s garden.
After I got back from Castle Rock, I planted potatoes before tackling garden box cleanups.
I had been wanting to try this, but I really was not thinking clearly for the past 2 garden seasons – this year, I am not in a zombie frame of mind.
I am more ready to engage fully in life, again. I can think without my thoughts running off down rabbit trails and getting lost in memories.
My thoughts, this year are staying on track, and I am getting things accomplished without knee-jerk reactions.
It feels good to be me, again.
In the moment: without feeling numb.
That done, I hauled the pea trellises out of the shed and to the garden boxes I would use them in.
Trellises in place, I started cleaning up the other garden boxes, and using my Claw garden tool to turn the soil over so it will be loose when I start setting veggie/flower transplants out.
The work pace I set was easy, and before long I had reached the halfway mark.
The red apple Patio Apple Tree always sets blossoms earlier than the yellow apple tree.
And
looking through the welcome blossoms to the end of the garden boxes Bob had
made and set in place for me, my heart was flooded with love for my husband: and
gratitude towards Elohim for blessing me with all those wonderful years with Bob.
I could reflect on those years without crying.
Living between two worlds is starting to level out: life {in the moment} is stabilizing.
This year, I am deliberately avoiding the shadowy rabbit trails, and keeping my attentions on the Joy Trail.
In the last garden box, I spruced up, I caught a glimpse of a ladybug 😊
Apparently, I am on the right track in my life 😉
And if there is one … there are others.
Ladybugs are good for the garden.
By the time I reached the last garden box, I was ready to come inside and grab a couple slices of pizza, and that beer.
It was a day of gratitude.
It was a day of happy remembrance.
It was a pleasantly warm Spring day.
It was a productive day.
I am thankful.
Tomorrow, I will plant my onion sets.
