I WON'T BACK DOWN

Thursday, December 6, 2018

PANCREATIC NIGHTMARE


‘Hurry up and wait’ has never been our forte … and it is getting old real fast.

We arrived at OHSU November 26th around 2 p.m. … Hubs by ambulance and Hub’s son, Alex, drove me from home to OHSU … and it has been a whirlwind ever since. I am glad Hubs is finally here. For the first time since being thrust into this medical hell we are beginning to feel hopeful. St. John’s Peace Health was really in over their heads trying to help Hubs - they really set his recovery backwards and that was why the situation there was so up-down-scarily dire. Here the docs and surgeons are the best of the best in their field of expertise and the outlook we were given was very positive; with proper nutritional needs specific to his needs, removal of the gall bladder ... even though at this point it is nothing more than a precautionary move ... and people who actually KNOW how to deal with the complications of this type of situation, docs say that Hubs should be back to his old self within a 6 mo/1 year timeframe. THAT optimistic and positive diagnosis was worth coming here. All we ever heard at SJPH was doom and gloom that had us hanging by our fingernails trying to sort through all the conflicting drama. Here at OHSU there is talk of a real turn around and NO need to shop for a coffin any time soon. The docs also concur and agree that while they can help pain management, only Elohei can heal the body. Medications and surgeries cannot heal. If docs can - and DO - agree with us on that point, then we feel confident in their helpful support in getting Hubs back on the road to a recovery.

SUNDAY afternoon. Finally made OHSU ... aka ‘Hospital Hilton’. LOL
View outside 14A - enough of a drop to cause vertigo. Fancy deco design.
RS view from our perch
LS view - eye-catching window design and a kinda L-shape building design.
Fancy etched window glass
OHSU hole-in-the-wall. Mysterious {why ???} factor has me curious.

November 28th Dr. Yip stopped in to Hub’s room and the news was not encouraging – Hubs will have to undergo a procedure to remove most of his pancreas due to dead tissue; that is why he is in so much pain and has so much trouble keeping anything down.

It is assumed that this is a hereditary issue since there are no other indicators as to why Hubs was suddenly struck with this in August. Apparently where there is familial history of gall stones and diabetes, pancreatitis will also raise its ugly head. Hub’s siblings have all suffered with gall stones, and his dad was a diabetic.

Hubs was shell shocked to say the least, and I can’t stop crying. This news is not at all what we were anticipating or hoping for.

But we will continue to lean on Elohei, trust in Yeshua, and rely on the Ruach Ha’Kodesh. We know the Word of God is true, Yeshua’s healing is always on time, and the Ruach’s peace that passes all understanding never fails. In this we are unshakable though all other ground is sinking sand.

THURSDAY afternoon. View of Mt. Hood from OHSU "penthouse room" - we were there all of 3 hours before being shifted to ICU. Very roomy. Very nice.
OHSU Air Trams. Always reminds me of the cartoon, “The Jetsons”. LOL. Penthouse view
The Tram Garage-Elevator Block. Penthouse view. ALL of this is OHSU Campus
Our 3 hours of luxury ... cut short too soon. Darn it.
THURSDAY evening. ICU Room. OHSU
Countdown to procedure day ... between 140 to 117 heart beats per minute have to be in the lower 90's to move forward.
FRIDAY. Skywalk view from ICU. Leads to the Veteran's Hospital.
View of upper floor Penthouse Room from ICU window.
Skywalk and OHSU Parking Garage outside ICU window. Vet Hospital in background across the way
SATURDAY. Hubs being lifted with the sling to sit up a while in the recliner. Will help his lungs.
Hubs … sucking on ice chips … sat up for 2 hours. Helped his lung capacity a lot.
MONDAY. Hubs spending a leisurely day doing a Word Search page. Heart beats per minute vacillate between 105 to lower 90’s.
TUESDAY - 87 beats. EUREKA! Procedure day happens tomorrow ... Wednesday
Tuesday morning frost, and I am headed home in LV for a couple hours to take care of business on the home front.
My white Christmas Cactus is in bloom. A nice welcome home. The pink has not bloomed yet; maybe when I go back home 2 weeks from now it will be in full bloom.

The scheduled procedure was called off last night ... WHILE IN PROCESS! ... because it was too risky to go forward – I couldn’t believe it when I was told. Poor Hubs! After all the waiting and anxious anticipation, it was a no-go because the cysts did not “rind” :-( The surgeons had planned another procedure today, but that fell through also after imaging came back earlier this afternoon – we saw the imaging results and agree with the professionals: TOO RISKY. The cysts are indeed “in a bad place”, so now we have to wait another 3 weeks and hope they harden enough to actually go inside and drain them safely, as was planned last night.

I don’t know if we can handle 6 months to 1 year of constant yo-yo uncertainty, anticipation, stress, and frustration. This is extremely HARD to go through.

Hubs on breathing tube. HORRIBLE to watch him come off it and start breathing in his own! Never want to go through that again >:-P
THURSDAY/TODAY. Hubs playing Solitaire on his laptop that I brought back with me from home on Tuesday. We are disappointed that yesterday’s procedure was halted and today’s procedure was canceled due to the riskiness of going forward with it. Word is another 3 week wait. We NEED a miracle at this point.
My home away from home in Hub's ICU room ... in my own little corner in my own little space. At least Hubs and I are together at OHSU and everyone is going out of their way to make me comfortable during this trying time.

We have only been here at OHSU for 11 days but it seems longer. We’re tired; between the stint at St. John’s Peace Health and our stay here at OHSU Hubs has been hospitalized since November 5th – a full month, and STILL no relief in sight due to the nature of this fickle disease.

We want this nightmare over.

We need a miracle.