I'll Meet You There ...

Tuesday, April 23, 2019


My transplant seedlings are sprouting their secondary leaves, so when the weather permits, I have been opening the windows and letting them get used to air temperature as well as the river breeze:

Barely visible CELERIAC
MARIGOLD. Colossus

Hopefully I can get them into their garden spots within the next 2 weeks. I am going to put them into place with or without the sun. They need to go outside.

I also started shredding my bundles of waste paper; I use it for mulch …

Over the weekend I was driven to Yelm to the butcher I like there – the meat is reasonably priced, smells very fresh and clean, and tastes like meat should taste: very different than the dyed smelly and greasy meats sold in the grocery stores and supermarkets.

As the drive progressed, I took notes on how to get there so I can make the 1-1/2 hour/one way (a total 3 hour drive to and from) run myself next time ;-) It is really pretty simple – just time consuming because traveling the back roads takes longer than the freeway; but it is worth it to me to avoid the freeway stress!

The packages were fresh cut though they could not break the packages down into 1-serving portions; but that is okay because I repackaged the 2-serving portions after I got home because I am not a steak person and I prefer stew meat. So I cut the round steaks into stewing meat and labeled it that way – less for me to do later on. The fryers were already cut too, so I just had to divide them down to smaller portions too: these were a bit bigger than the 1-serving portions I did with the beef …

Out of 4 originally packed Chuck Roast portions I got 8 1-serving portions
I cut the 5 round steak portions into 10 portions of 1-serving stewing meat cubes
The 7 packages of Chuck Steak were divided into 14 1-serving portions
I got 14 1-serving portions from the Cube Steak
I got 7 Fryers because I love chicken. Thank God they were already precut because I am not good at cutting chickens into recognizable pieces. LOL. Bob did it perfectly, but when I have to cut my own chicken in pieces people are left wondering what it is they are getting ;-)
The chicken was divided and repacked with a breast, thigh-leg, and wing in each portion. Roughly guessing there are 14 2-serving portions. I kept the backs and packed them for homemade Chicken Stock - God's natural penicillin ;-)
German Brats were divided into 1-serving portions. And the Ham Hocks, & Bacon Ends, and Ham Ends were also broken down and repacked into 1-serving portions.
Then the 'specialty meats' were put into a freezer basket. It took me 4 hours to break everything down (beef portions included) and repack it. But I am glad I did it this way.
And now the freezer is restocked - and with the garden bounty I hope for, this should last me through the upcoming Fall ... and possibly Winter with the meatless soups and meatless bean meals I am planning. Bob liked his meat - I don't mind mixing it up a bit more ;-)

Sunday I managed to anger my stepson by telling him it would not be a good idea after all for him to move in with me; it may sound like a good idea on several points, but it is NOT a good idea at all. Alex has been very helpful since his Dad left earth in December 2018, and he has made several sacrificial drives up here from Salem when I needed him … but he is not one to change his lifestyle, and that lifestyle I can’t live with 24/7/365 while I am trying to find some solid footing in this new status of my life as a widow: right now I am an emotional wreak even though I may look like I am doing okay. I am NOT doing okay on a steady basis and I am pretty sure we'd be at each other before a week was out ... so I told him I don’t think us sharing living space is a good idea. Plus, my councilor strongly advises against making any major decisions for at least a year – even longer depending on circumstances and situations.

And now I feel awful because he has been so helpful.

But I have to do what is best for me right now. I can’t help anyone else if I can’t even help myself. Most days I feel like I am an unbalanced washing machine reeling and jolting as I spin through life. I am barely keeping myself together.

I need time myself to decompress, regroup, and restructure my own life. Call me a selfish bitch if you want to, but I have to focus on me right now if I am going to survive Bob's absence in my life. I can't be taking on anyone else's issues and problems right now.

Sunday was also Passover-Resurrection Sunday-Easter, and I smiled with real warmth when I thought of how Bob is so blessed this year to be walking and talking with the Prince of Peace, Who conquered death and gave Bob the ability to be more alive now than he ever was on Earth. THAT is the blessing of Passover-Resurrection Sunday :-D

Praise Yeshua!

Monday, I felt so accomplished!

My printer has been out of black ink for months (I ran out in January printing off all those death certificates and medical information that needed to be mailed out for Insurance coverage's), but I didn't want to buy ink until I knew exactly what my monthly budget would be ... ink is SO expensive! Even the cheap ink.

So yesterday I went downtown to get my hair trimmed  - $17 just to trim 1 inch off the ends of my long hair! - and thought, 'I really need to get that ink cartridge switched out' too ... but I had never done it before. Ever. Bob always did it for me (saved time and frustration for everyone).

But Bob isn't here now; so it is up to me to get things done that need doing.

So I bought the ink, and on the way home decided to pick up some Thai food to have for lunch; we usually indulged in a ‘once-a-month-splurge’ … which was usually Thai food:

Actually, Bob and I have been eating at this place since we started dating, waaaay before it became a Thai Food place. 45 years ago, when we were dating, it was simply Hart-C’s – a hamburger joint; and the burgers were cooked right in front of you and served hot off the grill: BEST hamburgers in town! Then the fast food hamburger places started being built on just about every street corner in every corner of Longview and Hart-C’s sold out. About 40 years ago an Indonesian immigrant bought the restaurant, expanded the interior, and started serving homestyle Thai dishes: we missed the hamburgers, but got hooked on the ethnic food and became life-long friends with the family. We have been eating here once a month, at least, and they were deeply saddened to hear about Bob’s physical death …

Combination Chow Mien, Fried Wantons with Sweet/Sour Sauce, & Thai Tea - and thinking of Bob and wishing he were here with me to enjoy this delicious food ...

Growling stomach appeased, I prepared to face the dreaded printer ordeal. I had watched Bob change ink cartridges – and he did try to explain it to me when he did it – so I kinda knew what to do the more I thought about the process and visualized it in my mind’s eye. The tricky part for me is that I am a tomboy: if there is a delicate flower female aspect to me, I never felt it or exhibited it ;-) I am pretty rough and tumble. I did not want to ruin my machine by getting impatient if it hung up and then roughly jamming the cartridge into place.

So I called for backup. I just wanted another person "in the room with me" while I ran through the process and bounced information back and forth.


And the machine survived.

And I thanked the person on the phone, even though as she laughingly said, 'I didn't do anything'.

But she DID ... she there for support and her presence - even though only through the airwaves ... was appreciated ;-)

And I believe Bob was there too, watching and applauding my success at finally {getting it} :-D

I know I sound stupid, and I am. I am learning things now, in my 60's, that most people learned in their 20's.

Printer task completed successfully so I can print stuff off again, I put a load of laundry in the washing machine and started mixing bread dough so it can rise atop the warm dryer.

Laundry and bread making chores underway, I started Supper in the crockpot with one of my little pot roast pieces:

And I switched out the paper liner under the kitchen sink …

Cheryl also called this afternoon and we talked for hours - good friends are are the mother lode: I always feel rich when we touch base :-D

I think I will rest now for a day or two, and tackle outdoor chores later this week in preparation for the house painters coming next week – weather permitting ;-)