I WON'T BACK DOWN

Friday, October 18, 2019

BROKEN


Man: I MISS him.
Simple things like making Friday Challah can bring back memories that sends me to my knees.
I am liberated woman.
I don't need anyone to take care of me - I am capable of taking care of me. I have been taking care of me since I learned to walk. Serious truth spoken.
I always told Bob, "I love you, Babe. But ... I don't {need} you; I choose you. I want you. But, I don't need you to take care of me."
And he smiled and pulled me into a kiss when I said it because he knew I needed him in ways I wasn't even aware of.
Bob always loved me with a looooong lead rope and a free hand.
Bob knew me; Bob looked into the depths of me - the part of me I never showed anyone else: Bob understood me.
He knew I was lying.
I didn't know that until recently.
I wasn't intentionally lying.
I realize now ... that I do need him for all the reasons he was aware of and I wasn't; I always needed him.
Bob brought unconditional love into my life.
Bob gave me life; together we, who were both so heart-wounded when we met, learned to love - we built a life full of LIFE, LOVE, PASSIONTRUST, LAUGHTER, HAPPINESS.
Bob completed me.
And now I am broken ... and I am not sure I will ever be whole again.