Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Today I left the sanctuary of our home and ventured into the fellowship of a small group of people Bob and I used to spend time with; seniors like ourselves, and Christians – also like us. “Keenagers” meets every Tuesday for an hour of companionship (chit chat; gotta keep those vocal cords limber), potluck (a must as some seniors may not be eating healthy meals due to financial strains), missionary updates (always good to hear about ministerial updates from around the globe), a short sermonette, and singing of a few selected hymns (worship is a part if every Christian gathering … at least it should be: and is here). I asked Bob’s oldest sister to go with me today because she is struggling with his passing and I thought it would be good for her to get out and mingle too. She went … and plans to go some more :-D She kept telling everyone, “She is a rock (meaning me)” – I don’t feel like a rock, but I KNOW THE ROCK (Psalm 18:1-2), and THAT is what sustains me.
I went today because I am tired of sitting around and I wanted to get out of the house and find out if I could mingle with people on my own without Bob by my side – he was the people person, not me: I was more than content to stay in the background when we went places, but now I HAVE to get out ‘on my own’ and I needed to find out if I could without breaking down … I could, and I did even though I did have 1 weepy moment while singing the song, “Ivory Palaces” when ‘eternal home’ was sung.
Also, I wanted to let our friends know that Bob was now setting up home in our celestial home. Several people got emotional – they loved Bob; and they were concerned for me. But, I comforted them by saying that I am rejoicing that Bob is with our Lord now, and is no longer in any more pain. I also said that since he had died a second death in 1981 (the first was 1978 when a blood clot broke loose and caused havoc), we had lived with impending death for a long time and understood that we were enjoying borrowed time: we kinda knew that we would not get a 3rd reprieve if and when his ticket was called again and that is why while asking for a healing we also asked for a speedy and dignified death if that was what was to be; we always let Elohei be God and we always bowed to His Will. No matter the outcome. I stressed that we were okay with that because in 1981 he had been granted, by the grace of Elohim, an additional 37 years of life we wouldn’t have had, had Elohei not been faithful and favored us with compassionate mercy. I believe that Elohim granted those 37 years because we were so in love and so much a PART OF each other; we were together constantly except when he was working. Aside from living for Elohim, we lived for each other; and everyone who knew us knew that about us – including our children, and sometimes that caused friction between them and us. Those years graced to us allowed us to raise our 2 children to adulthood and to be gifted 4 grandchildren born into our small family. We were thankful. And we knew where he would be going when he went: some people don’t know that and their sorrow is devastating. Not so with us; we sorrowed, then we regrouped and rejoiced! And in doing so, I am strengthened; and can comfort those who struggle with coming to grips with Bob’s passing from this life to the next.
The Scripture passage today was Philippians 3:12 thru v.15. It was a timely message. Since 1981, Bob “pressed on toward the goal to win the prize” and he obtained it December 14th when he answered Heaven’s call to ‘Bob! Come home good and faithful son!’ And “all of us who are mature should embrace this point of view”. Amen. Like I said … it was a timely and potent message.
These are the hymns we sang today – I only knew ‘The Solid Rock’ … the others I had not heard until this afternoon. But I like ‘em ;-)