Wednesday, May 29, 2019

YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND



Today I went to Keenager's - a local Senior Luncheon at the Baptist Church. I am not Baptist, neither was Bob - but his whole family is, so we used to go together. Now I go alone.
I decided to go by route of Old Pacific Highway, so I could have a peaceful, scenic drive, instead of the hassle of busy downtown traffic.
A group of about 4 (3 women & 1 man) adopted me as a friend 2 weeks ago – it is obvious that they have known each other for years and care for each other deeply. It is nice to laugh and have good convo again. Today, shy David walked in and gave me a big hug. It felt good. It felt good because it was a hug from a man who was not putting moves on me. And I liked seeing that we are all opening up around each other more and more. None of them knew Bob, though they had all seen Bob and I together; but I don't feel weird talking to them about Bob, and they are not weird about listening ... it is like we were always friends.
We talked about other things too: Judy was talking about how she likes to bake and the convo somehow included turkey, and a turkey breast was mentioned. I have recipes that call for a turkey breast, but have never been able to find one that did not also come with the thighs, legs, and wings … entirely too heavy and bulky for me to deal with alone (Bob always had to help me wrestle the turkey in and out of the oven); so I asked where she got her turkey breast at and she told me ‘Winco’: now I know where I can find a turkey breast to make those recipes – a whole turkey literally takes 2 people to deal with it; so a turkey breast should be easy enough for me to manage on my own. The Wilson woman (I can’t recall her name at the moment), wants to retire and buy a backwoods place complete with a garden and chickens. So we talked about chickens - and she was excited to learn that I had had chickens, and I am still gardening; so we talked about that – Judy said she is allergic to red tomatoes, but she can eat yellow tomatoes and she found tomato plants that will pump out regular sized tomatoes … only yellow in color:
Sunny Boy Hybrid. Beefsteak tomato
Golden Jubilee. Highest in Vitamin C and low in
acidity.
That interested me, because I didn’t know you could grow regular sized yellow tomatoes (usually all you can find to plant are the yellow Pear Tomatoes that are similar in size to cherry tomatoes). So, now, given the information shared by Judy, I will have to scout around for regular sized yellow tomato plants for next year (my garden beds are full this year and stocked with red tomatoes). David had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so we were all surprised to see him show up; and are waiting with him for the results of the exam. Deenie was a gadabout today and flitted back and forth between our small group and another: that’s okay; we have all left high school behind us, and expanding our friendship circles is no big deal.
I smiled with pleasure as I looked around at my new circle of friends. Other than Bob, I have never really had a circle of friends – was never good at making them – and didn’t particularly feel the need for friends.
I had Bob; he was my best friend ...


1976. We were remodeling the house and made a Coors Beer run to California (we lived in Washington State), throwing a block party when we got home. Coors was not sold in any State but California at that time, so EVERYONE came. We had just gotten home, so we weren't spiffed up - you can tell that we had been on the road. LOL
I look at that picture now, and think "we were both so young ..."; and a LOT thinner too! LOL. I was 18, Bob was 25 - and we had two children, 5-1/2 and 18 months old (Bob had a son by a previous marriage).
But now that Bob is no longer here, I have been praying for friends – and not exactly sure how to make them/keep them. For 44 years Bob was my everything: friend, lover, husband, companion, confidant, cheerleader, compassionate but always honest critiquer, helper, guide, ect. WHATEVER I needed; HE WAS.
Now, these 4 have adopted me and extended a hand of friendship. And I am blessed. And I feel honored to be counted as their friend.
Elohim is good!