I WON'T BACK DOWN

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!


That miserable, murdering moron next door has put his house up for sale and will be moving!
((((THANK YOU ELOHIM!!!!))))

When Amy told me this good news earlier today, I instantly felt a heavy weight slide off my shoulders and I felt rejuvenated; and teared up with thanksgiving, saying, “Thank You, Yeshua!”
All murders do not have dripping bloody hands ... but all murders DO have blood on their hands. And Ron's hands would be glowing brightly if they were sprayed with luminol spray. First his selfish actions caused the death of his wife … and 2 weeks later, he and Candy put actions in motion that directly led to my husband’s death 3-1/2 months later - the crumbs of our shattered life leads directly back to those 2 evil twins.
GLAD TO SEE HIM PULLING UP STAKES and taking his snaky self outta here.
His moving is a direct answer to prayer.
Now if Candy Scott would follow him, I'd kiss the sky :-D

A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE LINE


Today I actually left the comfort zone I shrouded myself with following Bob’s physical death in December 2018 ... I drove over the Coal Creek backroads to Castle Rock; about 45 minutes one way – the little store there has the best mixed green salads, and I felt like eating one today ;-) I took the backroads because there is less stress on country roads than going through town and onto the freeway. Bob and I always took the backroads. He preferred the freeway which is faster, but stuck to the backroads for my peace of mind: freeways are just too frantic for me. I avoid them whenever possible.

The weather behaved and the drive was relaxing. The only upsetting part was when I somehow tripped the dome light and could not figure how to turn it off! So, I texted Alex with a "Help!" text, followed by a short video showing him the light, the little doodads surrounding it, and explaining the situation. The car is a touch-start car and everything about it confuses me because Bob didn't get around to showing me how to operate the darned thing before - well, you know. I don't know that I will ever figure out how to operate the car past starting it and driving it. Bob had confidence in me that I would eventually “get it” with difficult things, but right now my brain is misfiring and/or going on strike when I need Bob’s boost of confidence.

I know it sounds lame, but I AM lame right now: my mind doesn't switch gears like it used to 7 months ago. When I get into a stressful situation in the moment happening n.o.w., a brain freeze settles in, and all I can do is squeak out a feeble, "Help!" Sometimes I am rendered speechless; or actually start to stutter. Over little things. Totally not me; at least, not the me I used to be before I became a widow and all common sense/logical conclusions apparently flew out the top of my head. Even my daughter is confused and constantly tells people, "This is not my mother's normal behavior. Trust me; this woman can wage war with one hand and hold the fort with the other. Nothing stops her from something she sets her mind to doing." I sure wish I was, right now, that woman ... that other me ... Bob and Stacey remember. I sure could use her fortitude.

Anyway.

I have to drive to Eden Valley next month and I need to be able to drive more than 5 minutes into downtown here - I need to be comfortable driving 2 hours straight without falling apart.

So today was the beginning of spreading my wings, seeing past tunnel vision, and moving a little further down the line.

Aside from the dome light snafu, it went pretty well ;-)