Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Thursday, December 10, 2020

CHIN UP …

 4 more days.

Only 4 more days until I can put those 106 days of 2018, back on the back burner.

4 more days until those 106 days total 24 months.

Bob’s been riding the clouds for nearly 2 years.

Bob showing love in the sky as I drove Ocean Beach Hyw.; on my way to Eden Valley Cemetery, the end of March 2020.
I looked up and saw a ‘hang 5’ cloud toggle as I was leaving Eden Valley Cemetery; March 2020. I could almost see Bob’s twinkling eyes and hear his laughter as he passed overhead and let me know he had seen me.

How is that possible?

I finished the 600+ page book I started yesterday …

New Read

… so, I listened to music as the rain fell outside the windows and raced down the gutter drainpipes.

I can’t hear an Iron Butterfly song without thinking of Bob, and seeing him so clearly with my mind’s eye: his handsome face with those Asian eyes – hazel with gold flecks that danced around the iris’s, and pulsed with life when he aimed his sexy smile at me.

Remembering the softness of his voice when he said he loved me and wanted to marry me; his voice was always soft and gentle – in our 44 years together, I only heard his raise it twice.

Remembering the gentleness of my gentle giant’s touch.

Flowers and beads – an Iron Butterfly Song; defining icons of our youth … Bob was a peacenik, I wore a wooden chukka bead necklace I never took off; and our love was true.

Bob loved the music of Iron Butterfly.

I loved Bob.

And the way he made my heart sing.

Thoughts of Bob, still makes my heart sing.

And those thoughts get me through the hard and tough times.

I sorely miss Bob … but I am grateful that in his leaving, he left so much of himself with me to pull on: and there are days I pull mightily.

Bob always encouraged me.

Bob always saw setbacks as a challenge he fully engaged in.

I am following his example, with his final encouragement to me; spoken in November 2018: “You can do whatever you set your mind to Honey, I have faith in you.”

Because Bob believed it, and Yeshua my now Husband believes it … I believe it too.

Bob is no longer here; but the love he lavished me with, lives on.

2020 was a shitty (there’s really no other way to describe it that accurately fits) year from start to finish, as people high and low lost their minds in every way imaginable.

But 2021 doesn’t have to be as shitty.

There were some very good times in 2020 too, because I didn’t cave to the fearmongering – I got out and about pretty steadily for the first 8 months; but as the political nonsense continued and the entire PNW was torched … I was confined to my house because the air was too toxic for my asthmatic lungs. And when the air cleared enough to actually get back outside: sciatica pain and arthritis kicked in – it’s almost a month now that my hip and leg have been deviling me. BUT, things seem to be on an upswing. It’s 9:30 PM, and I have not used any Ibuprofen or an Aspercreme patch 😊.


Tomorrow I will walk to the mailbox (a short walk; about ½ a minute up the street) to collect the mail, and hopefully tomorrow will be repeat of today as far as pain goes. And please, God, let the hospital bill be manageable.

2020 was hands-down, the year Hell vomited itself empty and spewed all that twisted hatred on America and Americans: the demonrats welcomed and embraced the possession, and eagerly animated the obama-clinton-pelosi-biden cartel … putting their stupid asses on full display 24/7/343and they plan to tack harris on the coup ticket too as they unleash the flying monkey’s they hope will take Americans hostage, and totally destroy America with the dawning of 2021.

There are some people who have not been brainwashed or hoodwinked, and we are making ourselves heard despite the censoring, slap-downs, banning, deleting, blocking, lockdown, shutdowns, burn downs, thefts, outright murders, and Election Year politics that is shameful – and a National disgrace.

Dan Crenshaw: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFYL5Ksix4A)

McCarthy: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sxle_lbCmTo)

Cheney: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBarlWniq0k)

obama worshipper (meghan markle) saying she’s considering a campaign run (ILLEGAL! she is married to prince harry of Great Britain – a foreigner cannot become President: her marriage disqualifies her and her children)/covid-19 tyrannical insanity/the demonrats ridiculous and unsuccessful impeachment attempt of President Trump, based on nothing more than bitter hatred/blm racist and murderous acceleration backed by the demonrats/the scandalous rigging of our Election process by the obamanites to rush a dementia patient into the Oval Office/murder hornets infiltrate the PNW/the obamanites chose a belligerent racist communist – whose husband represents the communist china party IN America to be dementia biden’s right hand/wildfires, kicked off by blm protests, decimated much of the PNW/the demonrats hold Americans hostage while demanding illegals and foreigners be catered to before signing off on aid for Americans who lost livelihoods during the illegal and nonsensical covid lockdowns.

Even Santa is fed up with all the ridiculousness of 2020.

All we have is hope, and a prayer, things will be better in 2021 – that thought has got to keep our chin up; and our spine straight.