Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

EXCITEMENT!


A day outside always chills me out 😁

Hopefully when my windshield gets fixed, I can get back to Sunday~Funday adventures again ... but, today, I was in my garden area and noticed my corn is starting to tassel 😊

Corn: I can just about taste the hot buttered corn now 😁

When I got inside, I heard cheeping from the bird house out front: SUPER EXCITED!

BABY BIRDS! The outside chirping was loud enough to be heard over the inside air conditioner running ...

Bob would have gotten a bang out of this. Every year, since we moved in here in 2017, there has been a nest in the birdhouse Bob built for me.

2017: The first year, there was just the nest.

2018: The second year, there was a nest and an empty egg - we all 3, watched that bird house every day; Bob & I were hoping Aza would get to see baby birds ... but that was not to be; the hatching never happened and the bird couple finally abandoned the nest altogether. Bob & I were thinking the nesting family was an inexperienced and immature bird couple.

Then, Bob went into the hospital August 30th - and Aza went to live with Alyna; in another State. Bob went to Heaven in December: he'd never build me another bird house. He'd never watch birds darting in and out of the bird house again.

2019: Another nest - another empty egg. I was beginning to wonder if the bird couple was sterile: is that even possible? Yes – it appears infertility even happens with birds (Infertile / Clear Eggs | Beauty of Birds)

2020: This year, I noticed that there was another nest in the birdhouse (the side always bulges when a nest is in residence): I prayed the bird family would try again. They did - for months I've watched as they came and went, and I knew something was up when one of them hung around ... not straying very far from the bird feeder or the birdhouse. Today, when I came back into the house from my garden area; I heard the unmistakable sound of baby birds chirping as one of the parent birds ducked inside. 


I could hear them clearly IN THE HOUSE - they were that loud 😁

EXCITEMENT! I can't wait to see the little ones’ fledging.

I wish Bob was here to see that ...

I love you, Babe.


Always ~ OX

HIDDEN TRIGGERS


All I wanted to do was browse my cookbook binder and pull some menus together ...

I had worked through January to August, and opened September's binder AND WAS BLINDSIDED by hidden triggers.

Moving on, moving forward, and rebuilding is not as easy as people seem to think it is.

Triggered by opening the cookbook binder …
Peace Health Dietitian papers: they were worthless – Bob could not eat anything they were suggesting.
I was really caught off guard; I had forgotten all about those papers – I hadn’t seen them in 19 months.
All the angry emotions were triggered. My heart is feeling the brokenness again. 

This is WHY I cannot even think about freeway driving.

Even when Bob was still here, with me, I hated freeway driving and avoided it whenever possible: I will go the extra miles and extra hour on the backroads.

But, now ... triggers randomly pop up ... and it just isn't wise to hit the freeway.

For any reason.

I know people don't "get it" - but, ((((I)))) get it.

If stumbling across hidden triggers in my cookbook binders can do me in, imagine what could happen on the freeway when I get blindsided by hidden triggers!


This "moving on, and moving forward" is going to TAKE TIME.

And I get tired of trying to explain what I don't even understand myself when it happens.

I only know that freeway driving - for me - is not going to be happening any time soon; if at all.

And no one has to understand "why?", but ME.