Just East of Eden : 10/22/20

Thursday, October 22, 2020

CHANGING DIRECTION

Fall has arrived, and Winter is quickly approaching.

Falling leaves are beautiful, and the evenings chills off fast.

But the chilly magical moments also bring early dusking and long lonely hours before bedtime; which has it’s own lonely tinge to it.

Already I am bored just thinking about all that empty time coming at me.

I am missing face-to-face convo.

There has GOT TO BE MORE to life than what we have been experiencing since March! It is hard to build a life when people are afraid to engage in life.

As my activities changes directions with the season, I am going to be actively searching for something to do indoors that will not be boring – I need to be intellectually and artistically challenged; so those are the areas I will be focusing on to get me through November 2020 to March 2021.

I need to find in-house activities to do through the Fall-Winter months.

I am determined to find in-house things to do that do not bore me out of my ever-lovin’ mind.

Solitaire only goes so far.

Movies will put you to sleep after a while

Phone calls slack off when there is nothing new happening in ANYONE’S life.

There has to be something to do indoors that is exciting, stimulating, and engaging.

I am growing … but it is stunted growth in the present environment of distancing run amok.

Thinking of setting up an exercise room.

Hoping for a 20 -pound weight loss.

Celine Dion (before: above pic) looks AWFUL now (after widowhood: below pics). She was always thin … but this widow weight loss is skeletal. It is unhealthy.

Cutting down on 'comfort foods'.

I will be chomping at the bit in February … but by then I can focus on plotting/designing the garden area; and starting seedlings to be transplanted in late February, early March & mid-April.

I’m a high-energy person with a low tolerance for sitting on my butt twiddling my thumbs. I have to be moving. I have to be actively engaging in life; not in the fast lane, but at a quick pace.

And I need someone to actively engage with: not every day, not all day. But at least once a week, would be nice.

So, that is what I will be focusing on.

And trusting Elohim to provide.

Praying for a friend-companion.

The type of relationship I am praying for offers heterosexual companionship without romantic drama or turmoil – and no sexual interaction; but it will be a close, compatible friendship, built on mutual interests and trust: trust is a very big issue with me; the person I am praying to come into my life will enjoy hanging out together, without romantic inclinations.

That new life change will not change.

The person Elohim sends across my path will also want this type of relationship.

Bob was a loving man.

Bob was a passionate man.

Bob was a gentle and pleasing lover; I am not interested in changing direction in that regard.

I am content to warmed by those memories.

The person Elohim sends across my path will understand this about me, and not push the boundary line.

Focusing on THIS … and working on telepathic abilities 😉

No explanations necessary.

Patience was never my strong point …

Meanwhile, I am – at the moment – busily tagging Bazaar items for next weekend’s Bazaar in Rosburg.

This will be the first time I’ll be going back to the Grange Hall since Bob’s Celebration of Life, August 30^th, 2018.

Bob and I, together, had only done 1 Bazaar there: 4 years ago.

My stomach is a little queasy; this is Bob’s family’s stomping grounds. Every single table will be hosted by one of his relatives.

I am no longer ‘family’; without Bob by my side, I feel like an intruder.

I was asked to host a table, but this may be the last Bazaar I do there.

I feel a directional change.

Normally I am excited, and looking forward to a Bazaar … but right now all I feel is nervous – almost like the Hall will not be welcoming. I’ve almost called Frieda twice and begged off – that how uneasy I am about carrying through with the promise to be there.