My life has changed so much since December 2018. I remarried January 7th, 2023 ... we sold the house, sold our vehicles - and bought a new 4x, a puppy, & a 5th Wheel to travel the mainland States and experience life in the slow lane. As always I record e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. happening in my life: I will share lots of pics & vids of our USA travels: I hope you enjoy our Blog.
Friday, February 14, 2020
VALENTINE DAY SHABBAT
No lovey-dovey
Valentine card this year.
No big
heart boxed chocolate this year.
I
was baking Shabbat Bread, when Pam called me this afternoon with a Valentine
message – she didn’t wish me happiness because that would be bad taste with Bob
permanently gone now; she is a good friend.
Last
Valentine’s Day, I was watching my SIL, Merry, transferring my husband’s cremains from
the funeral home box to a nice wooden box the size of a teenager’s shoe box …
and 6 little Remembrance Urns for the kids & grandkids. I was thankful for Merry's help. The transfer could have waited, but I wanted his cremains out of that cheap plastic funeral home container; and placed into the wooden box his middle sister, Bonnie, had helped me chose and purchase the day Bob graduated to his home beyond the clouds, December 14th, 2018. The wooden box solidified his new identity - and gave dignity to what remained of the earthen vessel that housed his spirit for 69 years, and loved me like a man for 44 years while he walked this Earth as my one true love and great passion.
In
the stillness of my solo lobo evenings, I can still hear my husband’s voice:
I hope it never fades, as other widow’s lament.
Widowhood
still seems surreal to me – and I am living it!
427
days/10 hours & 31 minutes: my heart still misses Bob; and my mind is still
having a hard time grappling with all the changes in my life that have taken
place in such a short period of time.
But,
I am doing a little better this year; I am not crying heart-rending tears or gasping
for breath anymore … now the tears are silent sentinels of acceptance; heralding
healing on all fronts.
Also,
today – last year, I heard my sister Iris’s voice for the 1st time.
We talked for 2 hours - it was
wonderful; we were immediate friends ... like we had grown up siblings. We talked just about every Wednesday following that first phone convo :-D From Valentine's Day 2019 to
August 2019; she left this life September 3rd, 2019 following a
surgical procedure that she never woke from.
I can still hear her voice.
I
will always treasure those phone convo's.
They
came at exactly the right time; and brought light into my dark world – Bob had
been taken Home; but Elohim brought Iris into my life: I felt loved and very
favored - I had been gifted Bob for 44 years, and now I was being favored with
the gifting of the sister I had longed to know. Elohim hears our prayers. And
He always answers our prayers ... ON HIS TIMELINE, not necessarily ours. The
timing was perfect.
I
love you, Elohim: thank You for greatly loving me, and highly favoring me ...
the unconditional love.
I
love you, Iris: thank you for those phone calls, the sharing of your life, the
laughter, the jokes, the FB flowers ... the unconditional love.
I
love you, Babe: thank you for choosing me to share your life with, for fulfilling
my every dream and desire … the unconditional love.
Always
~ OX
L’chiam
– to life :-D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)