THANKSGIVING 2019

The day – except for my niece’s ignorantly arrogant and misinformed morning upset (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/11/if-you-met-my-family-you-would.html), actually went pretty well. Thanks to kiona’s FB post, I was too angry to entertain a crying jag.

Death, apparently, brings out the worst in people; people who didn’t even KNOW us … either of us … beyond our names: they never took the time to get to know us, but all of a sudden – they are experts on our lives.

Anyway.

My Thanksgiving meal was a small one, and not very fancy:

Roasting Turkey breast; came in a cooking bag, and already seasoned. It was smaller than I anticipated.

While the turkey breast baked, I boiled 4 eggs for deviled eggs …

I got side tracked by a Youtube storyline, and the roast got a little over-done:

It was a bit overdone – but that’s okay with me. It wasn’t dry at all …

Roasted turkey breast cooling.

Waiting for the roast to come to room temperature, I mashed the cooled boiled egg yolks & flavored them with my own deviled concoction just thought of today (recipe follows at end of this post), & I cooked 1 medium potato & reheated a 1-serving portion of the sweet potato/carrot casserole I had previously baked …

While the potato cooked, I froze half the desserts I bought while in town yesterday (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/11/increases-and-reductions.html):

I slipped the desserts into the upright freezer to ‘set up’; then, I pulled my Thanksgiving meal together …

My very simple low-key Thanksgiving meal completed: Turkey & gravy; mashed potato, sweet potato casserole & my own ‘Val’s Spicy Hot Deviled Eggs’ (I made up the recipe today) – it is delish ;-)

And I sent a short video out to the granddaughters to assure them I am indeed eating balanced meals, and I’m really doing okay – all things considered ;-)

I watched a movie on Youtube with snowy mountains in it because Bob usually took me into the mountains this time of year for my annual snow fix ... and I was missing the snowy trip :-(

My supper plate, with a dill pickle added. I had a slice of Pumpkin Pie w-Whipped cream too ;-)

Since there is only me kicking around the house lately, Supper was over pretty quick – cleanup done pretty quick too; so, I got busy getting temptation out of the way. LOL

Turkey meals portioned out in individual servings for 9 future meals.

Turkey meal #1: Roasted turkey breast, mashed spuds & gravy, green beans with bacon bits, half a butter croissant, & 1 piece of pumpkin pie w-whipped cream.

Turkey meal #2: Roasted turkey breast, mashed spuds & gravy, green beans with bacon bits, half croissant, & 1 piece of New York cheesecake.

An entire meal wrapped tight and ready for the freezer ...

It’s pitch-black outside now, I’m fat and sassy, the kitchen is cleaned up, dishes have been done; and I believe I hear another Hallmark movie calling to me. I’m going to take a well-deserved break, and give my hands a rest now.

Tomorrow I start decorating for Christmas; not sure how festive I’ll feel, but I do want to get something put up and set out. Thanksgiving went pretty well – maybe Christmas will too :-D

**********

These deviled eggs are very flavorful and have enough spicy heat to have your tongue smiling ;-)

Bob would have loved this recipe. He liked spicy hot ... that's why he married me 44 years ago. LOL! I miss my man ...

==Val's Spicy Hot Deviled Eggs Recipe

4 hard-boiled Eggs – 1 Garlic clove, minced – 1 teaspoon Capers, drained – Dab of Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard – 1 Tablespoon Mayonnaise – Paprika

Gently empty cooked egg yolks into a small bowl – set empty egg white shells aside to be filled. Mash yolk and following ingredients together until smooth and well blended. Spoon into egg white shells and dust with paprika. Enjoy!

IF YOU MET MY FAMILY YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND

Well ... it's been another eye-opening morning on FB this morning.

If you met my family you would understand ...

I opened FB around noon, an saw that my sister's granddaughter decided to show her ass this morning in a delusional attempt to slap me down:

Kiona: You refused medical help for your husband out of religion for quite a long time. I wonder if he would still be ok and healthier if you hadn’t. You lie about my grandmas name and her “backstabbing you” because you refuse to believe you’re wrong: EVER.

Me - First off, you don't know what you are talking about: as usual. I did not refuse anything ... BOB MADE HIS OWN DECISIONS UP TO HIS LAST BREATH. Secondly, you are not the badass bitch you believe you are. And Ramona is delusional - always has been. Grow up.

As usual, that side of the family is hopelessly delusional and so full of self-righteous bullshit they stink. Which just further drives home the fact that I was right to sever that branch and move on.

It is liberating to breathe freely again since I moved away from the oxious and nauseating odor ramona and her biased racist moronic family shroud themselves in. That ramona is STILL telling people that I killed my husband ... and that kiona is repeating it in a bitchy attempt to come off as a self-appointed badass is as ridiculous as it is sad.(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/10/knowledge.html)

First off - BOB WAS MAKING ALL THE DECISIONS CONCERNING HIS LIFE UP TO HIS LAST BREATH. I only had to make an 'executive decision' 1 time: August 30th, 2018 (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/09/fall-cleanup-and-forgiveness.html). That was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and Bob backed me up on that action. And Bob had it put on record with the hospital staffs in both hospitals that they were to hear me and do what I told them to do if he could not make medical decisions himself: BOB'S WISHES were duly noted by both medical teams at both hospitals; AND I NEVER HAD TO DO THAT AGAIN. Thank God.

Secondly, when in our home, ramona waited until I stepped out of the livingrooom to try to overstep me and insert her will into our seriously serious situation ... like Bob's mother and sisters did ... and she asked him flat out, "Is this your decision or Val's" - Bob got angry and told her in no uncertain terms that he was making his own decisions and that she should be ashamed of herself for suggesting otherwise - she was asked to leave and go home. TWICE 2 branches of the family tree TRIED to OVERRIDE BOB'S WISHES AND MY HONORING OF THOSE WISHES. And twice, both branches were told to butt out - BY BOB. Bob's mother and sisters eventually had the wisdom to back down, step back, and realize that Bob had the right to decide his own fate, based on his faith - whether anyone else but me was supporting and honoring him, or not. IT WAS NOT UP TO THEM WHAT HAPPENED WITH BOB'S LIFE. It was always up to Bob. And I honored his wishes. ramona never learned humility. That's why ramona is no longer in my life.(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/10/a-time-for-building-time-for-cutting_16.html)

Thirdly, that kiona would even put all this out on FB ON THANKSGIVING in a self-righteous manner, tells me that I am better off without these lunatics in my life. They don't know what the hell they are talking about ... they NEVER KNOW what they are talking about; yet they talk nonstop. Self-righteously. About things they KNOW NOTHING about.

I loved my husband. I love my husband still. We had serious decisions to make - and WE MADE THEM TOGETHER ... just like we had for 44 years. Bob was my whole life; that people would think I wanted him dead - FOR ANY REASON - is insane thinking.

And that those insane people would THINK FOR ONE MINUTE that their pathetic moves at being 'badass' IS badass moves is also insane. I am a premium card holder in Badassery ... and ramona knows that. kiona found that out. They all really just need to lay off the hooch, put the roaches down & step back: marijuana is a stupefying drug used by stupid people determined to prove how really stupid they are - toking a joint automatically unhinges mouths to highlight rampant stupidity, and dulls the brain that would otherwise say, "maybe you better not say/do that ..."

I would really LIKE to hang up the boxing mitts and shelf my Premium Badass Card, but assholes keep coming out of the woodwork, like cockroaches: so I have to keep putting the gloves on and knocking the faux badasses out.

I need a break.

FB & family gathering: not always a fun place to be.

People wonder why I have trust issues.

If you ever met my family, you would understand ...

ON AN UPNOTE: I did receive a morning phone call from both of my oldest grandddughters telling me they love me, and wishing me a good day; things can only get better, right? ;-)

Alyna (middle granddaughter; Stacey’s daughter) taking the picture, Krisalee (oldest granddaughter; Alex’s daughter), & me – when we were all together in August.

TEXAS GOV. GREG ABBOTT'S RESPONSE TO FECKLE HECKLING: ‘God put you in a wheelchair’ tweet

I love this response.

While I, personally, am not in a wheelchair … Bob did tell me when we were dating that there was a very real possibility he may end up in a wheelchair, paralyzed due to a birth defect that was causing him a great deal of pain – he was using medication for the pain at that time, & if he decided to have the surgery, there was a 50-50 chance it could go wrong. I told him that it didn’t matter to me … I loved him, and we would face that hurdle together, if and when it was placed in front of us: that medical prediction never came, thank Elohim, and he got off all prescribed drugs. But Bob did live with back pain all of his life.

And when we went through the medical nightmare we recently went through together – and Bob’s spirit stepped off this planet December 14th, 2018, we have had people who should know better, actually mocking our unshakable faith and trust in Yeshua. Because Bob’s physical body was not healed, they assumed that Elohim abandoned us. What they don’t understand, and what they missed was that we WERE healed: emotionally and spiritually – and THAT is what truly matters. Both Bob and I understood that Elohim did not cause the illness that caused his physical death. But Elohim did help both of us to persevere over that challenging challenge. Through it all, Bob’s absolute faith in Yeshua was unshakable, and he was prepared to face what had to be faced; and to ready himself to walk into his new life … and I was prepared to let him go; and I am being prepared to fully enter into my new life without Bob; half of my heart has been amputated, but Yeshua is faithful to keep it beating, and Elohei is faithful to come alongside me and teach me how to live a victorious life, howbeit tinged with sorrow. Yes, Bob & I live separate lives now, but it is only a handicap others perceive to be so. The illness was a challenge Bob overcame; and I am learning to overcome. And I don’t hate doctors or hospitals – I just believe that Elohei alone is Healer, and Yeshua is The Great Physician: and He gave Bob 2 passes (1978 & 1981) before finally walking him into Heaven in 2018. No one will live indefinitely in an earthen vessel: eventually everyone will have to shed it.

And NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE WITH when your eyes are on Yeshua and your hope in in Elohim.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott’s stunning response to ‘God put you in a wheelchair’ tweet: https://www.foxnews.com/faith-values/god-texas-greg-abbott-twitter-response

RENEWED DAY BY DAY: Nov. 26th Post delayed due to Holiday

“Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16)

Last night, I slept on my husband’s side of the bed – I have been alternating his side/my side for a few months now, and the last thing I thought before the sandman helped me drift off to sleep was, ‘tonight I am sleeping on my husband’s side of the bed wishing he were here with me … and this time last year, I was standing by the side of my husband’s hospital bed holding his hand, watching him breathe, and wishing he weren’t leaving me’. 

Last year, today, was a rough morning; I played a lot of inspirational music throughout the day, for Bob. It soothed. Bob was partial to southern gospel music. I chose songs that would strengthen his spirit for the journey ahead.

Last year, on this morning - today, my poor Babe had a rough go of things since his MRI the previous night; the staff at OHSU had gotten to it late, and it was a hassle from the get-go; all morning long, Bob struggled with unrelenting nausea. Watching him struggle with the nausea and vomit nonstop had me struggling to keep my temper. I wished the Team would just DO whatever they intended to do … without any more tests. Bob had had enough testing, blood drawing, Xrays, scans, and ultrasound imaging at Peace Health hospital back home to last him a lifetime. I just wanted things moving forward, and done. And it seemed to me that the ‘highly educated’ and ‘top of the line’ people at OHSU were just behaving like regular folk doing regular things. It was frustrating for me to watch, and hard for Bob to deal with in his fragile condition.

Around 1:44 in the afternoon, Dr. Yip stopped in to give us his educated assessment on Bob’s condition given the results of the MRI and following testings. It was not encouraging. Dr. Yip informed us that Bob would have to undergo a procedure ‘to remove most of his pancreas, due to dead tissue’. The sad condition of his pancreas is why Bob was in so much pain and had so much trouble keeping anything down. Dr. Yip also told us that it is assumed that Bob’s situation is a heredity issue since there were no other indicators as to why Bob was suddenly struck with this affliction in August. Apparently, where there is familial history of gall stones and diabetes, pancreatitis will also raise its ugly head. Bob’s siblings have all suffered with gall stones; and his dad was a diabetic. Bob's sister, Bonnie, also deals with pancreatitis - we did not know that then.

Would that information have helped? Who knows. It doesn't matter now ... and Bob wouldn't have wanted to live his life in the "what if" fear of the situation, anyway.

After that informative speech, Bob was shell shocked, and I couldn’t stop  crying. The news was not at all what we were anticipating, or hoping for. The hope held out to us when we arrived at OHSU was no longer in play.

But, through it all, we continued to lean on Elohei, trust in Yeshua, and rely on The Ruach Ha’Kodesh. In this we were unshakable though all other ground was being shaken.

So, I set the ipod up and filled our immediate space in his private room with music he enjoyed that lifted our souls and buoyed our spirits. These are the songs I played for Bob - today, last year ... and I listen to them still; and am renewed day by day.

Matthew Ward - Consume Me

Breathe - Michael W. Smith

Above All - Michael W. Smith with lyrics

Draw me close to you Michael W. Smith

You Raise Me Up (with lyrics) - Selah

This is my desire (with lyrics)

INCREASES AND REDUCTIONS

Tuesday night I had trouble getting to sleep, and had finally managed to close my eyes around 4:30 AM … when the phone jolted me awake around 8:30 AM – Ryan, the fella coming to clean my gutters, was calling to tell me he was on his way. Great. I was glad the gutters were getting cleaned, but I was also very tired: I have had several no-sleep-nights all month long; they are beginning to take their toll. As I was staggering around trying to shake the cobwebs from my brain and make myself presentable, the phone kept ringing: my niece Sara, who we had raised as our own daughter from infancy to age 12, who now lives in Nevada with her daughters; was touching base to make sure I was okay – I told her I am, and we talked until 9:30 AM. And Cheryl called: for the same reason … to make sure I am okay, and to ask me to Thanksgiving Supper tomorrow. I told her I am okay, but I will pass on going to their home tomorrow. I thanked her; and I do appreciate her and Mike – they are good friends; but I am not feeling very festive, and I am crying at the drop of a hat lately, so I think it is best I just hunker down at home and get through these ‘Memory Lane’ slideshows & the triggered emotions, solo. There will be plenty of time after the first of the New Year to get together and schmooze. Ryan pulled into the carport as I was saying TTYL to Cheryl: the gutters were cleaned, he was paid – we chatted for a bit, and I am thinking I need to get outside and sweep the leaves out of the carport … that will get done after Thanksgiving.

It was Wednesday and the hair salon would still be open (closed tomorrow for Thanksgiving) so seeing my image in the mirror and knowing I needed my hair trimmed … into town I went. I stopped at Fred Meyers for gas afterwards, and found that what I paid for a tank of gas just last month will only get me a quarter of a tank this month. So, if anyone tells you there is “no gas price gouging” going on during the holiday season – that IS FAKE NEWS. Believe me, there is gas gouging going on. And Freddies is not the only place in town that has hiked their gas prices to prey on holiday travelers.

Pocketing the gas receipt, I remembered that I was told last December when I had Bob’s name removed from the Xfinity account, that Xfinity rates would be going up again this December (aka: my widow sympathies would end in a year’s time), so I decided to drive across town to the town office and pay the monthly bill there so I could find out what to expect with the price increase; and was told the new adjusted rate: so, because I am living on fixed income, I had the internet speed reduced and I am satisfied with the monthly rate going into 2020. I figure I can live with a reduced speed internet (I’m not ‘streaming’ anything that requires maximum speed); I use my laptop to Blog, FB every now and then … and any movies I want to watch, I watch on Youtube. I think the reduced internet speed will be okay.

On my way back home, I veered into Winco’s parking lot, and did my grocery shopping. And, I stopped at Lowe’s to buy a festive coir porch mat for the carport porch. Going there was emotional – Bob & I spent a lot of time at Lowe’s trying to get this home where it is now: Bob was handy with tools; and he could fix, design, and craft … whatever was needed, I had a husband that could do it. I bought our updated home décor at Lowe’s. I bought the Christmas Porch Swag we used our first year here – there, at Lowe’s; I used to like looking at all the Christmas stuff … and walking around looking at the displays, and Bob would indulge me. Going back there was emotional.

Lowes outdoor Christmas Display & Tree Lot with real Christmas Trees. 2019

I glanced at the in-store Christmas displays, but I couldn’t bring myself to meander through them like I used to do with Bob – not ready for that. Yet.

The lighted Front Porch Garland Swag we bought at Lowes for our 1st Christmas here. November 25^th, 2017. The last time Bob would help me put it up & take it down.

The overhead light we bought together, that replaced the outdated overhead light in in the Dining Room.

BEFORE picture of the dining area: we loved the easy flow of the open rooms. The carpet was removed & replace with dark wood flooring, and the overhead light was replaced. The kitchen was totally remodeled.

AFTER picture of dining area: hardwood flooring, acceptable overhead lighting, new window valances, and Bob set up the Amish crafted electric fireplace for me.

Very comfy-homey atmosphere. July 16^th, 2017. MUCH BETTER

Remodeled Kitchen; new updated & brighter cupboards bought at Lowes, real stone flooring bought at Lowes, new, updated and matching appliances. October 5th, 2017.

Bob helped me pick this stone flooring – I like the outdoors, and these stone tiles bring the outdoors indoors; it reminded me of Bob’s logging days when he would take me to the landings with him on maintenance days where he did mechanic work on the machinery and I explored the forest. And it matches beautifully with the hardwood flooring. September 22^nd, 2017.

Kitchen valances bought at Lowes.

The spare bathroom light was awful; it was a Hollywood Vanity light bar from the 1970’s. It had to go! We looked at lights at Lowes, and chose this one to replace it; Bob installed this new bar light fixture, December 15th, 2017: it match the floor lamp in the livingroom.

The matching floor lamp in the Livingroom … and the new window valances we bought at Lowes. July 16^th, 2017.

Going to Lowes will probably always be an emotional trip because it will always trip my memory bank.

I collected the mail when I got back home, and was informed with the space rent notification that space rent will increase another $25 dollars again this year. The delusional calimexarabia Park owners want calimexarabia monetary expectations; which means a $300/year increase … for nothing more than having our homes on lots here at Heron Pointe. It’s ludicrous.