Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Monday, May 17, 2021

NORMAL RESET

I got a notification in the mail a few days ago, informing me that activities in Castle Rock have opened back up – so I drove to exercise class this morning 😊

I drove via Westside Highway because I got a late start … and Westside Highway was the quickest route.

Westside Highway from Longview - 12 minutes.
Sandy Bend from Westside Highway - 8 minutes.
Castle Rock from Sandy Bend - 7 minutes.

Exercise Class was fun.

It was good to see people again: full face.

It was good to see people I haven’t seen in a year.

The morning almost felt normal, again … except for the fact that the building echoed due to the fact that most people are still not comfortable being in large groups of unmasked people: obviously they do not believe “the science”, having been victims of political fearmongering for a solid year (all year, every hour of every day – for 365 days straight).

‘Normal’ may have been killed with the 2020 obamanite-biden-pelosi coup; in which, covid was used as a battering ram to get biden illegally – and shamefully – seated, and harris installed with a meaningless title.

Anyway …

Those of us who did gather, enjoyed the class; and enjoyed spending time together, chatting without having to shout through layers of useless cloth that smothers the wearer, and distorts their speaking.

Exercise class was opened up.

My lungs were fine; the activity was brisk and my breath was short at times, but I did not need to use my inhaler: thank You, Yeshua!

Leaving Castle Rock, I thought I’d drop my weights off at home … then drive into downtown Longview to see if I could get into the Country Folks Deli now, without mask mandate hassle.

Driving into town, while twiddling my thumbs – sitting at a red light, I saw a truck ahead of me with a strange business name; the more I looked at it, the more it tickled my funny bone until I burst out laughing. The business name itself was strange, but wondering (with tongue in cheek) if some of Ireland’s fanciful {Little People} had been drafted into working off their mischievousness – kind of went with the fanciful name 😉

After I got downtown and parked, I walked into Country Folks Deli and seated myself: there was no banshee screaming about being unmasked.

YES!

I was in.

I entered through the back door, and ate in the back-end section of the deli.
I usually eat in the front-end; Bob and I ate in there for decades.
There are 'homey' touches at every booth ... I got the barn booth, this afternoon.

The atmosphere there, almost felt normal too – except that masks were still in evidence on some faces.

Mask wearing for extended lengths of time is not normal.

Feeling the necessity of wearing a suffocating mask, when it is no longer necessary to do so, is not normal.

Behaving in a paranoid manner because political browbeating has eroded rational thinking and behavior, is not normal.

I’m not entirely convinced ‘normal’ will ever again have a normal outcome.

But it was nice to be able to sit inside again, and engage in normal behavior, while in an abnormal environment.

I had lunch at the Country Folks Deli.
I ordered The Cowboy burger; none of it came home with me. I was hungry ;-)
My paperback came with me, to keep me company.
There are 44 chapters ... I'll be choosing a new novel tonight.
YUMMY!

Just before I finished the last of my fries, a song came on that immediately had my eyes tearing up …

Feel Like Making Love: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEuKkcX1uKA)

I pushed the rest of the fries aside, and I couldn’t grab my stuff and get out of the booth to pay my tab fast enough; the whole time, praying I would not break down in front of everyone before I could get to the privacy of the Highlander and cry it out there.

Images of us, came fast and furious to the forefront of my thoughts. Us – young and falling head-over-heels in love. Us raising a family, and grinning over the heads of the kids (and later, grandkids) when the song came on; on the radio while we were driving. Us, eating out, and Bob grinning and wiggling his eyebrows at me when the song played in the background.

The roomy deli suddenly got a lot more confining as the memories grew.

Finally, the tab was paid and I could escape outside – where it didn’t matter if tears fell, before I reached the car.

My {normal} hour had dissolved in a heartbeat.

I have been doing so well in this widow life.

I have been feeling (and hoping) I was past the watershed period in this new life.

I do know that emotionally I am in a better place than I was 10 months ago.

I’ve been walking this solo lobo life for 28 months & 3 days: my heart has scabbed over, but obviously the healing scar is still tender.

Listening to that song play in the background before I could pay and take flight, brought back the fact, that for me – personally and for wholly different reasons than covid madness, life will never be ‘normal’ again. Bob’s absent physical presence, will always be the missing puzzle piece in my personal life’s jigsaw puzzle.

I felt stupid, sitting in the car and crying.

Because of a song playing in the background of a restaurant.

I’ve been doing so well.

I am actively engaged in building a new life.

It’s a good life – even with the missing puzzle piece.

I really need to hurdle these emotional handicaps and grab life by the tail – a ‘normal’ reset.

I dried my face and drove home.

As I parked the Highlander in the carport, I noticed that my Irises are blooming 😊

I decided to finish planting the rest of the garden boxes before the forecasted rain arrives – gardening is a normal activity, for me.

My variegated Irises are 20 years old. I bought them when we bought our 1st home in Longview - they've been moved to 2 other homes.
Planting the pre-sprouted bush beans.
Planting the pre-sprouted Patio Snacker Cukes.
Cucumber cage.
Acorn and Butternut squash planted.
Spaghetti squash & Zucchini squash; wing flapping patriotic bird attached to fencing stake with baling wire.
Pre-sprouted Hopi Corn seedlings planted & staked against the river winds - this is a blue corn.
Hoping to salvage a broken tomato plant - the river wind was strong today.
3 kinds of potatoes planted in color-code baskets; Red Pontiac (Red Basket), Russet Bakers (Blue Basket), & Yukon Gold (Kelly-Green Basket); I know … I’m a weirdo ðŸ˜‰
I hope this frightful looking creature does not pay my garden a visit.
Time to call it a day - looks like the forecast rain is arriving.

That task accomplished, I worked on some house slippers I’m kitting up for the Rosburg Hall Fall Bazaar – they still need to be shaped to a foot form, and tagged.

This is normal activity in normal days past … current days, and the foreseeable future: in this way, my life is still normal 😉

Knitted Slippers for Rosburg Hall Fall Bazaar. Sizes 6-6-1/2-8- & 10 on the needles.

And I’ll spend the remainder of the evening, watching the sunset while listening to the sporadic rain; and finishing up the novel I had with me this morning.

Tonight’s sunset.

Reading books is normal for me. There was a time I always had a book in my hand – no matter what I was doing: waking up/going to bed/cooking meals/doing laundry/taking a bath/riding as passenger into town … if I didn’t have a dime-store paperback in my hand, I was reading the kids a story from a child’s storybook.

This afternoon was the second time I have carried a book with me when I left the house: it is normal behavior.

Rain falling from the sky is normal Washington weather.

Aside from that one episode in the County Folks Deli, I’ve had a pretty normal day in a continuing abnormal time.