IT AIN’T ME ~Keep Searching

So ... Mr. Complication is on ice. Permanently.

This afternoon was the “let’s see where this thing goes” moment; we were going for a drive after Sunday Morning Service … so, I wore jeans and boots since it was raining; and I was reasonably sure we’d be in the country somewhere.

'Celery Ice' Green for eyebrow, Med. Gray for eyelid, Green for lower lash liner; Pink lash primer, Green Mascara, rose-tinted Creme Blush, Tinted Lip Balm & ‘Pink Quartz’ Lipgloss.

'Quest' for upper lash liner & eyelid accent color.

'Looking at the pale 'Millennial Pink' Lash Primer, I thought I looked like my favorite albino, Johnny Winter. LOL.

Johnny Winter –‘Please Come Home For Christmas’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5Mv2-Iin5M)

Face in place ... 'Auburn' Brow Gel, Green Mascara, Rose-tinted Creme Blush, & Tinted Lip Balm.

And ... I wore the sinful color to Fellowship!

I had an enjoyable afternoon, but I knew an hour into the "getting to know you" phase of this afternoon, that whatever he thought was going to happen – wouldn't. He's a fun guy, and he does flatter me; but there was no spark happening on my end. ZIP. Nada.

The long and short of it is that I am not getting the same {message} he's {getting}.

Bob Dylan –‘It Ain’t Me Babe’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoagldK69U0)

So, I let him down as gently as I could ... and let him keep a sliver of his pride by shouldering the brunt of the let-down, WHILE nipping the guilt-tripping in the bud.

I admit I threw the Widow Card into the mix; I guess I did a little {guilting} myself ... but, I didn't want to hurt him, and I don't think Bob would mind 😉

I hope he meant what he said, because we will be in the same place, at the same time, tomorrow morning. He really is a nice guy. He's just not for me - or visa versa.

HE PERSUED ME, not the other way around – I've seen enough unhappy coupling to avoid getting trapped in one "just because". And I'm not one of those foggy widows who need a man in their life, to feel complete. I'm perfectly happy walking through this Life Solo Lobo, rather than getting snagged in a lopsided walk.

I do thank him for helping me to enjoy the Christmas Spirit this year, but that is not enough to build a lifetime relationship on - and that's what he wants. NO: Big N. Big O.

Friendship: that's all that interests me. Friendship is good. Friendship leaves me room to breathe. Friendship allows me to be me - without complications.

Dammit! Adulting is fricking HARD ☹

Now, I’m going to enjoy a tropical escape … and lose myself in Mayan intrigue in Guatemala 😉

My current favorite fella, and the novel is fast-paced intrigue.

Perfect companion for a race through a tropical jungle. LOL