Today
is the 4-year mark of Bob’s graduation Home.
This afternoon I had plans
to meet a friend in town for lunch – I was thankful when she texted me earlier
this week to make this lunch date; it would redirect my thoughts, and the convo
would keep things light and lively. I would not be sitting at home feeling edgy
this year. My thoughts would not be in rewind mode.
I am
thankful Becky called. I am glad we are keeping our monthly lunch dates, no
matter what: persistence is the name of the game 😉
So, instead of moping around wondering what to do with myself, at
8:05 this December 14th … I was getting ready to enjoy this day, this year.
Lunch
was good. The companionship was good. The convo was good. Becky shared news
about her job and her family; she said, “It don’t seem like Bob’s been
gone four years – it seems like only yesterday.” I said, “I know.”
She asked me if I was still sticking to my guns about staying single,
adding, “Bob
would want you to get on with life, Val.” I told her I’ve recently started
doing what Bob told me to do – I’ve had three ‘coffee dates’ with Holland. I
laughed and said, “Mr. Complication finally wore me down – he flirted persistently
for a solid year; and around Thanksgiving this year, I finally accepted the invites.
He knows I will always love Bob, and he knows there is a place in my life for
him, too: I do like him; he’s a fun guy, and he makes me smile. But life got a
little more complicated last week, and things are on hold right now, with Mr.
Complication, until they get worked out.”
I also added this little tidbit: “He’s also six years younger than me.”
She said, “So?” And I replied, “I’m not sure how I
feel about that; it’s weird, to my way of thinking.”
And then
… my phone notified me of an incoming text … Holland.
I laughed; and Becky said, “He’s
persistent.”
I said,
“I know! I haven’t dated in 48 years, Becky – I’m not used to being pursued; I don't know how to do this. Hahaha.”
After we finished our lunch and convo, she picked up the tab – and headed back to work – and I drove home listening to Christmas songs (first time since 2018). Holland is responsible for this year's good mood, even if everything is wrapped in complications ;-)
Grieving the loss of Bob's presence in my life, is very different this year.
I spoke with Holland on the phone, around 6:30 PM. He apologized for what went down at Oak Point, and made sure I got the message that he is trying to remedy the break between us: "I believe in us Baby, and you will too. I'll make this right."
We’ll see,
and time will tell.
I am persistently
doing my best to move forward as Bob told me to do – and as Elohim expects me
to do: living in the past is not living to the full potential of the time given
me. I know that. I am moving forward, inch by inch, in unfamiliar territory. I don’t
know what the future holds, but I know that this year has opened my eyes – and heart
to possibilities I never imagined possible a year ago. I’m looking towards a future
now 😊
