Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

I WOULDN’T CHANGE 1 MEMORY


2 things happened this day last year … I forced myself to sit in Bob’s recliner, & a man from Steele’s Memorial Chapel (funeral home up the street) brought by the ‘proofs’ for the grave markers – he wanted me to check them and make sure they were okay.


Today, this year, I am waking up to tropical rainfall (50-degrees, wet and balmy) instead of a frosty/icy morning. I have been sitting in Bob’s recliner for a full year – but it still seems to me that HE should BE sitting in it. I don’t cry 24/7 anymore: but I do still miss him. A LOT.



I stopped going to the Grief~Share meets because they really weren’t beneficial to my moving forward. They were actually pretty boring.

I’ve kinda figured Bob’s phone out – there are still some features I’m afraid to touch; but by and large, I’ve figured out the basic features I use all the time. Getting the billing figured out, with the $$$ getting to the correct account, was the MAIN hassle! I believe AT&T is part of the demoncrat political empire because both try to resurrect the dead to fork out $$$.



AT&T couldn’t seem to correctly sort the billing out after I dropped Bob’s Name from the account AND CLEARLY MY NAME IS BEING BILLED UNDER A NEW ACCOUNT … it literally took them 11 MONTHS to figure out that BOB WAS DEAD and INCAPABLE of paying MY BILL – even though ((((I was IN the LOCAL downtown office EVERY MONTH)))) telling them that, and having them go over the account information. EVERY STINKING MONTH. m.o.r.o.n.s.!
I grabbed a 6-pack on the way home from the local office in July; I finished the last little jigger last month ... despite having to deal with bona fide dimwits, airheads, and asses at every turn since becoming a widow, I'm being a 'good girl' ;-)

This year, I don’t look at people, or papers, stupidly anymore when I hear Bob's name ... or I see Bob’s name – now, I just get annoyed; AARP KNOWS Bob is no longer among the living! I spoke to them myself and TOLD them that … and yet, I still receive ‘urgent!’ membership renewals requiring him to ‘reply immediately!’ Pisses me off.

I do, occasionally in town, run into people who knew Bob – male and female – and they still tell me ‘I’m so sorry, Val’. I am sorry too. The guys tell me Bob was a ‘great guy’: HE WAS. And the women (who knew him in school and around the hometown; and had a secret crush on him), tell me ‘Bob was a handsome guy.’ YES! He was – and I don’t mind them saying so ;-)



 
  
 
 

 

I was incredibly blessed for 44 years.

Now, Heaven is blessed.

RAIN, MURDER, & demoncrat ZEROS

As is par for the PNW … it is raining:


 
In one picture, the high-center burn mark can still be seen from 2 weeks ago when an idiot in a low-rider got hung up on the speed bump outside my LV windows. For a month that stupid driver would get hung up on this bump; shred gears, burn tires, and hope he'd get away: 2 weeks ago, he got stuck good - even his pals couldn't get him loose. Low-rider vehicles should not be driven in this Park. Just sayin’.
 

And I am stuck indoors; not specifically because of the rain – if that were the case, I’d never get outdoors because it rains 95% of the time here in the PNW ;-)

On top of the steady liquid sunshine keeping me indoors, I have been hit with a painful outbreak of shingles. I had my first experience with them about 19 months ago … not long after we became tenants of this Park … and at first, I wasn’t even sure what they were: Bob knew though. And I was quick to research them so I can take a purely holistic approach to dealing with them. There is no cure for shingles, and they basically lurk all year ‘round along my spine, making me itch. This is the first time they have ever hurt: and they hurt today 

I was first struck with shingles June 14th, 2018; Bob went into the hospital the end of August 2018 ... and entered Heaven's Gates , December 14th, 2018: 2018 was not a good year for me :-(

So, I’m hunkered down inside, watching the rain fall, and reading a mystery murder novel; curled up in Bob’s recliner:

 

I also watched Day 9 of the senate hearing on the Impeachment charade. The demoncrats are die-hard morons; and they have nothing new to put forth. ALL of the House Managers parrot the same bitter twaddle, and demand the Senate do the job they refused to do themselves because they were in such a heat to rush the impeachment through without following legal guidelines.

(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2020/01/boohoohoo-day-9.html)

They have no case – that witch, pelosi, and her horde of monkeys need to wrap it up … cry, ‘Uncle!”, get spanked and sent to bed early for their out-of control rebellious and bratty behavior … where is that hurling house when it is needed?

pelosi & schiff

It would be a wonderful gift to The People if every one of the morons who instigated this fiasco were voted out – and kicked out of Congress …

BOO.HOO.HOO (Day 9)


The demoncrats are being gutted.

They HAVE NO CASE, as is exampled by their poor and shoddy representations.


They really need to cry 'Uncle!' and just slick back under their rocks.

And Chief Justice Roberts needs to spank them soundly and send them to bed without any Supper ...

SHE WAS MADE BEAUTIFUL


SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL ....


.... but she didn't know what that meant.

When she was a little girl
they told her she was beautiful
but it had no meaning
in her world of bicycles
and pigtails
and adventures in make-believe.

Later, she hoped she was beautiful
as boys started taking notice
of her friends
and phones rang for
Saturday night dates.


 

She felt beautiful on her wedding day,
hopeful with her
new life partner by her side



 

but, later,
when her children called
her beautiful,
she was often exhausted,
her hair messily tied back,
no make up,
wide in the waist
where it used to be narrow;
she just couldn't take it in.



 
 

Over the years, as she tried,
in fits and starts,
to look beautiful,
she found other things
to take priority,
like bills
and meals,
as she and her life partner
worked hard
to make a family,
to make ends meet,
to make children into adults,
to make a life.



 
 

Now,
she sat.
Alone.
Her children grown,
her partner flown,
and she couldn't remember
the last time
she was called beautiful.



 
 

But she was.

It was in every line on her face,
in the strength of her arthritic hands,
the ampleness that had
a million hugs imprinted
on its very skin,
and in the jiggly thighs and
thickened ankles
that had run her race for her.

She had lived her life with a loving
and generous heart,
had wrapped her arms
around so many to
to give them comfort and peace.
Her ears had
heard both terrible news
and lovely songs,
and her eyes
had brimmed with,
oh, so many tears,
they were now bright
even as they dimmed.



 

She had lived and she was.


And because she was,
she was made beautiful.

~ Suzanne Reynolds, © 2019



You Are So Beautiful To Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvAr9umnZ54