CHRISTMAS EVE 2020

It’s a double-edged sword.

2020 has been a disaster from the get-go … and it gets worse every day.

However, today to lighten things up - I made up my own version of a Holiday Solitaire Game (instructions at the end of this post).

The game was a relaxing diversion form the headlines.

Demonrats playing games with our $$$$$$; shafting Americans – holding Americans financially hostage, while supporting the whole damned world

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ba0MVR7TCNE)

Stimulus checks delayed (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUzDDFzvnX0)

pelosi plans to pull trump out of the White House ‘by his hair’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1Y2iE3h4DE)

DC hails fauci as a demigod (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sACahBdmfu4)

Seriously???

Throw Christ out of Christmas, and erase all visual references to the Nativity … and raise up a snarky looking elf-on-the-shelf little man with a messiah complex to be celebrated as a Christmas miracle?

OH, ((((HELL NO!))))  No.  No!  NO!!! 

And, on the other hand … 

2020 has been very healing for me.

The covid nonsense never stopped me in my tracks; I continued to get out and about every Sunday. I don’t live my life by fear – and I resent anyone telling me what to do/how to live/and who to associate with.

What did slow me down was crippling sciatic pain coupled with arthritic pain, when the cooler weather hit, about 6 weeks ago. Again … I don’t live my life by fear – I researched what I need to do at home to alleviate the pain, and allow my body to heal.

With all the bedrest, I’ve lost more weight: I dropped 30 pounds while standing deathwatch with Bob September thru December of 2018. I lost another 10 pounds these past 6 weeks. I am glad to be dropping the weight … it helps my body tremendously; but I wish it wasn’t so hurtful to my heart, and bones.

Emotionally, I have come a loooong way since beginning my solo lobo life journey 24 months/10 days/11 hours – 42 minutes ago; I’m not longer crying at the drop of a hat anymore. The crying jags are fewer, and further between. Thank God.

Spiritually, I am getting back on track: everything stopped when Bob’s heart stopped, 24 months/10 days/11 hours – 42 minutes ago; I just coasted along, safe and secure in Elohei’s love. Now, I am actively engaging again: it feels good to feel alive again.

Physically, I’m in a better place. Bob and I enjoyed the life of retirement to the max … I barely cooked during the 7 years of Bob’s retirement; we were on the road quite a bit, and we sampled a lot of restaurant fare. It was showing on both of us – restaurant food is fattening. I only ate in the hospitals when Bob was undergoing x-rays (that was sporadic), so I didn’t eat a lot: I did stay hydrated, though. When I weighed myself the day after coming back to our home a widow, I was shocked to see that 30 pounds had been shed. And I remember crying, and saying to Yeshua, “I know I asked for help to lose weight, but I didn’t know my request would come at such a hefty price.”

The recent weight loss comes after a painful interlude too, but it is pain of a different caliber.

And I really hope and pray further weight loss does not involve pain.

Of any sort. 

Tonight, is Christmas Eve.

In my home, I celebrate The Christ prophesied and acknowledged as Lord and King. The obama-cliton-pelosi-biden-harris cartel is not royalty … and fauci is not who I worship.

My allegiance is to Yeshua – and Him alone.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Uki0dkthzI&feature=share&fbclid=IwAR1T4NRO5p9ABN7ToSVFBTN_m8EPe9Xz_rLI0HxGsApifqmkKU8VqgrVIx0)

I am not celebrating it in a flashy way this year because the political nonsense sucked all the joy out of the Season … and I was flat on my back, in bed, most of the Season. So, this Christmas Eve is pretty low-key.

I spent most of the day listening to the radio (the DJ played back-to-back Christmas songs); and playing solitaire.

I even made up my own solitaire game 😉

In a festive mood, I laid the cards out in a tree shape 😊

MOD Solitaire foundation: Top down: 1 Face up; Row 2: 2 ct. = 1 face down, 1 up x 2; Row 3: 3 ct. = 2 face down, 1 up x 3; Row 4: = 3 face down, 1 up. The rank and play of the cards is the same as a regular game of solitaire.

While I listened to the songs, and played my game … I thought of how truly blessed my life has been/currently is. It hasn’t all been a bed of roses; but it has been blessed, regardless.

I am loved and highly favored. 

My life has been altered … but it is still good.

I love You, Yeshua; thank You for loving me unconditionally, and making me Yours: help me to stay the course and make You proud. You are the best Husband, ever; and You gave me a good man in the flesh, to love me unconditionally, as long as his earthen vessel held up. I am eternally thankful.

I love you, Bob. I am glad you were in my life for the better part of it (44 of my 64 years); and I am glad you are now walking with Yeshua … where angels trod. Earth is going to Hell in a handbasket very quickly – I would not ask to have you return to me, even if that were a possible request: you are better off outta here.

I will see you both when my chores down here are done ~ OX

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR-wUErMFyA&list=PL7Sv7aQs2p0X-7ug0jDfAUUCTZ6QBrGaN&index=3)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMPn0gTPooc)

A BULLET DODGED ~ Elohei is Faithful

So ... when I woke up this morning, I really did not know what to expect; the last thing I remember before the sandman put me under last night, was the raging storm that was escalating and wailing like a banshee all around my house.

Truth be told, I was apprehensive about looking out the kitchen window to see what that flailing pole hanging from tessa’s roof last night had done, damage-wise.

(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2020/12/the-day-started-so-good-and-went-bad-by.html)

When I did look … I saw that the pole was gone: my eyes immediately scanned my carport area before I pulled my coat and boots on to go outside to check for damages.

The rainstorm tore most of tessa's roof tarp and poles off her house. This mess is ridiculous.

No sign of the pole in her yard either ... it's just gone with the wind. The house and lot are a disaster zone.

My car is undamaged.

Elohei was faithful – my car and house was spared from the crappy neighbor's flying debris during last night's rainstorm.

I did not have to haul my Premium BadAss Card out, morph into a tasmanian devil and take a bite out of candy – painfully cutting her down to size; I avoided jail time 😉

However, last night; I did suffer an asthma attack due to the stress. But I had an inhaler at hand (a year old - I rarely use it), and a crisis was avoided. An asthma attack is scary to go through without Bob's calming presence – this is the 1st one I have gone through on my own. I know stress can bring an attack on – but I was still surprised when it came upon me : I knew I was concerned, but I didn't think I was THAT concerned.

This is another area of my life (recognizing and dealing with 'hidden' stress) I am going to have to pay attention to, and bring it under control before it manifests itself in an unwanted condition.

The storm really tore things up overnight ... I am thankful my property was not damaged due to candy and tessa's belligerence.

But I did feel bad for the person that did get the brunt of tessa's flying crap: it was torn off her roof - it flew off, and landed somewhere. Hopefully no one suffered damages from this arrogantly rebellious moron of a woman; and the crap off her roof dropped in an open field.

Feeling immense relief and heartfelt gratitude, I decided to test my healing a bit further: I have been hungering for a particular salad – a salad I have only been able to find in Castle Rock. Delameter Road (my route under normal conditions) is still a messy construction site, so I would have to go an alternate route; about an hour ‘round trip. I wasn’t sure my hip and leg could hold up that long, held in a stationary bent condition without any relief until I reached my destination.

But I wanted that salad: I would risk the drive, and hope for the best 😉

Heron Pointe to Columbia Heights via Pacific Way. 12 mins

Columbia Heights to Lexington - 6 mins

Lexington to Pleasant Hill Road - 7 mins

Pleasant Hill Road to Select Market, Castle Rock - 8 mins

1 hr round trip.

The drive was what I needed after being housebound for over a month: a relaxing country drive, a change of locale, and fresh air.

While I was out and about, I looked high and low for beef liver … there isn’t a store anywhere in town that sells beef liver!

An hour of relaxing driving. 

An hour trolling stores in vain.

And my hip and leg didn’t pitch a fit!

Salad for Supper; I got a few more salads … those will be enjoyed over the next few days 😊 

After eating, I finished up my mitts. 

I am very pleased with the way they turned out! 

MOD Mitts FINISHED!

Perfect ... exactly what I had envisioned.

Sorry … no pattern forthcoming until after the 2021 Bazaar season.

THE DAY STARTED SO GOOD: And Went Bad by Nightfall

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms1MY9SP7f4)

There was a LOT happening in my small corner of the world, today.

First off, this morning – while there was a brief reprieve from the rain that has steadily been falling, I pulled some clothes on and jumped (okay – I actually walked/slid slowly) into the car; and drove to the lower end of Pacific Way Trail.

The goal was to make it as far as the first bend of the graveled trail … and then turn around, and come back home.

Dike Hike today.

Baker's Corner Breakfast Casserole.

Original 'goal' plan ...

When I reached the first bend … I was feeling so good, and moving so freely/loosely, that I decided to push the envelope – and go another bend.

I ended up doing this 5 x 😉

Decision to push on a little further.

I did this the entire dike walk ...

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7-8rfGGnd0)

Learning to use 'granny mode' speed.

Ducks congregating in someone's backyard pond ...

Fuzzy-wuzzy-woolly-bear-caterpillar. All along the 45-minute walk, I saw 5 fuzzy-wuzzies bravely maneuvering the foot traffic.

Fuzzy-wuzzy-woolly-bear-caterpillars will turn into Isabella Tiger Moths in the Spring, if they survive ‘til then.

I reached the end of this section. I would have reached it sooner if I could have fired up my foot jets; but I was doing the granny mode.

Tagging the gate ... Bob and I always did this. A silly carry-over from our youth.

Black, gray and white duck: seen on the way back to the car.

Backtracking the graveled trail to the car, I came to the conclusion that my body is developing a brat complex; it wants to run my life, and will kick up a fuss if I try to do what I want with my body …

My body is taking revenge now when I override the pain warnings ...

I need to discipline that brat and get it under control!

When I got back home, I got back to work on the mitts I have been designing and crafting since the 19^th of this month.

MOD Mitts. Working on the finger portion. (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2020/12/finding-joy-in-mundane.html)

Almost finished ... tomorrow, for sure.

Due to the walk this morning that cut into my designing/crafting time, they will not be completed until tomorrow.

I’m okay with that: as long as they are finished for my New Year walk with my SIL, I’m in no rush.

As I was throwing clipped yarn ends in the garbage, and bagging the garbage for the outside trash cans … a movement in my peripheral vision, caught my attention.

Immediately I was concerned.

Then, the concern morphed into straight-on pissed.

For a few red-hot moments, I let my thoughts entertain the vision of steam rolling up the street, dragging candy’s fat ass out of her house – and beating the living hell out of her.

I was that pissed.

The action would be justifiable.

But I don’t fancy spending Christmas in jail.

That house next door has been an eyesore, and a constant bitch from everyone in the Park: and candy does not enforce the Park Rules in regards to that rotting rat hole.

It is clear the place needs to be condemned and removed. Houses like that one, are not to be in this Park – Park Rules.

Yet, every year, it stays.

And gets worse.

A few weeks ago, tessa hired a sloppy roofer to come lay tarp over the entire length of her roof: obviously the roof is leaking, which means the inside must be a slimy mess – like the outside.

The rainstorm racing through here is literally tearing the tarp … and the poles that are supposed to keep the tarp laid down … off the roof.

That there is even tarp over the roof, is against Park Rules. The shoddy work was a disaster waiting to happen, from the get-go.

It’s a dangerous mess.

If that pole rips free, there is a good chance it will hit my car.

And more flying crap could damage my house roof.

I am seriously pissed at how far candy has allowed this deterioration to escalate.

tessa’s rat-hole is the only house in the entire 800+ Park that looks like this; and candy turns a bind eye to it … while slapping everyone else with citations for piddly “offenses”.

Bob was killed by the stress candy brought to our front porch August of 2018 – over ridiculous pettiness that was proven bogus.

This is ridiculous.

But this … this obvious offense, next door … she totally blows off, and bitchily ignores.

In the vid, the slimy black mold is clear to see – and candy’s lie that “it was professionally cleaned” is also very clear to see.

This whole mess is not okay.

Everyone in the Park has walked past tessa’s house gawking at the mess, and the tarped roof.

I KNOW candy has been hearing other tenants grumbling and complaining about the eye-sore.

I'm scared to go to sleep while that thing is hanging and whipping in the wind.

Unacceptable!

This is not acceptable.

Heron Pointe is generally a well-maintained Park; except for the rat-trap next door, that belongs to candy’s Park pet.

I am seriously pissed right now.

And if my car or house is damaged because of candy’s refusal to bring her pet to heel … I will hire a Lawyer and sue the hell out of tessa, candy, and the Park owners.

I woke up in good mood this morning

The good mood held, until 4:15 PM.

All the ‘good’ dissipated when night fell.

I don’t know what I will see tomorrow morning, but I know what will happen if the worst happens: candy’s cherry-picking “rules” will be flipped, and the bitch will come out in me like she’s never seen before.

I don’t relish that side of me … and for the better part of 44 years, she was dormant – but I’m not afraid to call her to the forefront when she is needed.

Hopefully the pole will drop to the ground without damaging anything of mine: and the tsunami me will not be awakened.

I really miss Bob in times like this.

FINDING JOY IN THE MUNDANE

It was just an ordinary day.

All of my days, lately, seem to move into another without much fanfare.

I showered; padded down the hallway … turned the radio on, put 8 eggs on the stove to hard-boil … and changed the color of my nail polish before getting back to work on my mitt’s design, started yesterday:

Beginning Mitt's Body; I am using scrap yarn ... if these turn out as expected, I will make some for the 2021 Bazaar Season with new yarn 😉

(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2020/12/inspiration.html)

I hope to have them completed tomorrow 😊.

Normally, I would work on them straight through the night if need be to get them done (new original designs always gets me too excited to knock off work early in the crafting process) – but my leg is still not 100%, and I need to pace myself a little wiser so I don’t screw up my healing process.

So, now, I sit and work on my design for an hour … then, I get up and move around for a bit to relieve that sciatic nerve and keep my leg/foot from cramping.

I hope I can get out walking at some point during the upcoming week, when the rain slacks off. I am glad to be losing weight (and noticeably, too), but I need to tone my thighs. It will take time to work back up to the milage I was walking before my leg went bum, but I’m slowly working back into my walking routine.

In this also, I am learning to pace myself.

I am not used to being reined in … so it’s another ‘adjustment’.

Anyway …

I was listening to the radio, working my design out and jotting notations down as the work progressed; when a particular song came on and my thoughts took me to a place in time, when every once in a while, Bob would come dancing into the room – grinning, and wiggling his eyebrows at me … and I join him while we laughed and cavorted with each other to the backbeat of the music filling our surroundings.

I really miss those spontaneous moments.

And I knew I couldn’t entertain those thoughts too long without being sucked under.

This was a good time to stop where I was in my unfolding design, until tomorrow.

I also had to shell the hard-boiled eggs and put them in the ‘fridge.

Mitt's Forefinger Hole. MOD

Hard Boiled eggs.

And wouldn’t you know it: when I logged into FB … someone had posted a video of a couple dancing in their living room!

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5mGevMW6Rg)

Obviously, I was not going to be able to get away from those triggered memories; so, I just rode the wave until it played itself out.

I am grateful for the memories: I was loved, and loved deeply by a good man who was faithful to me and our marriage.

I had joy … I still have joy. 

I am grateful I am finding enjoyment in designing/crafting, again.

Designing and crafting brings me joy. 

I don’t need a lot to have a happy life 😉