This is a lengthy post, with lots of turns and twists.
But it all dovetails.
This post may offend some people.
I am not responsible for thier emotions.
I am responsible for ME.
If my Blog posts can benefit others, fine; but I do not post specifically for that reason ... I post FOR ME.
I, too, am still a 'work in progress' - this Blog, and my posts are my way of healing: my way is not everybody else's way. And that is okay 😉
Yesterday I read
an article that was intended to touch on the nakedness of a widow’s new
reality.
MPO is that it was lacking in substance.
Psychology is simply ego at it’s ‘nth. It's loop reasoning that is not really helpful at all.
The answers to our inner quests lies within US – not in someone else’s opinions based on speculation.
I found it
shallowly pretentious, and actually quite insulting.
It was, of
course, written from a man’s point of view; men do not understand women … a man
is not a woman. We are hardwired differently.
The deep-level-comprehension simply is not there.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201203/love-after-death-the-widows-romantic-predicaments?fbclid=IwAR2wIZ_0mFBWjqRa-DRFmo57wK_M2hKglBDlEEMqOPaDgmmc5PEA-MTT_2o
Honest to God, I do not understand people, at
all.
ALL of
the previous 20th century, was about the advancement of women’s
rights … t.h.e.e.n.t.i.r.e.c.e.n.t.u.r.y.: were the ‘feminists raising
their voices’ now, living under rocks then?
The
premise of the article highlighted above, seems to hinge on the opinion of
the author, that women – specifically widowed women – are clueless about
their power; and lot in life.
The women
reading that twaddle are my age … or slightly younger in their mid-50’s.
WHERE
HAVE THEY BEEN THE PAST 60-70 YEARS????
I was
born in 1956. I was raised during the 1960’s counter culture upheaval. I came
of age in the 1970’s freefall – where traditional marriage was shattered, abortion
became the standard for birth control in drug/sex-crazed America – and people
generally lost all common sense.
The demonrat obamanites insist we never graduate
beyond the ‘60’s: their entire party agenda is to stay suspended in a perpetual
Woodstock frame of mind.
1970's Feminism
1970's Abortion/torpedoing of foundational 'norms' ... and boy (!) is the demonrat obamanite party, ramming this down our throats every second of every day.
In 1974, I married
young: I was 17 … Bob was 24. Bob had been married before, at 19; he was going
through a messy divorce when we met. I never regretted marrying young – in
reality, I was never a teenager. I was 17 going on 25. I was ready to match
with Bob, and we enjoyed 44 wonderful years of married happiness. Were all
those days happy ones? Of course not … but they were always joyful ones because
we chose happy: we chose US 😊
Christmas 1977 at Bob’s parents’ house in Longview. Bob and I had been arguing before we left home (I had severe allergies and wanted to stay home), and I did not want to be ‘pretending’ to be there: I wanted to go home and go back to bed until the headache faded. I think you can see what my thoughts were, by the way I was fussing with my fringed vest … when Bob saw me strangling the fringe, we didn’t stay long.
September 1978. Bob broke his thigh bone doing what I had asked him not to do – I was furious with him, and this was his 1st death: a blood clot broke loose after surgery and killed him right in front of me in the hospital visitation room (our daughter could visit him there) – he was paddled back to life in front of me. We are smiling because we were glad he lived; and we were happy together at home … but I was pissed for quite a while.
August 1998. Alyna 18 MO. Our 1st and only attempt at getting the family (all sides) together for a Family Reunion campout … No one from Bob’s family came, my family all came; and acted the asses they were; and the kid’s with their significant other’s showed up – but everyone was sniping at each other: it was a failure. But, Bob and I smiled through it anyway: we focused on US.
Neither Bob,
nor I, were virgins when we met, fell in love, and married. Bob had been
married – and had lovers before we met. Bob was my only husband … but he was not
my only lover. He was, however, my last lover: the best, and the most worthy of
remembrance – I loved him. I am not a prude; it's just that Bob was my passion. Bob is still my passion.
Though I had had lovers before Bob, I cannot imagine a lover now, following
Bob.
That part
of my life will always belong to Bob. And I’m okay with that.
I realize Bob was a mere mortal; but he was MY mortal with MY
interpretation of superman qualities 😉 In MY life, Bob is irreplaceable
Some
widows are not; and I am not God. It’s none of my business – even if they make
it my business by sharing their private business with me.
But
because they are widows, like me, I know they have been
married; and it escapes my thought process as to how clueless some can be
about relationship, love, sex, and happiness.
Some
widows have been naked – but do not understand nakedness (not judging, just making an observation).
There was
no soul nakedness threaded through the artilce – it was just plain nakedness.
MPO is that it really did not touch on what a widow is really seeking in all that dating information.
If they just want a booty call 'date', I suppose it filled the bill; but if they are wanting something deeoer, it was woefully lacking.
There was no depth to the article.
That could
be widow’s fog incomprehension – that brain shroud can make anything, and
everything, seem hypnotically engaging if deep thinking isn't involved. On the other hand, when people lose their sense of
direction, they hone in on any voice that promises to lead them out of the fog.
But it
could also be that society has become so tweaked, that thinking at all becomes
complex and confusing in general. People are so busy panting after the next
naked encounter, that they have forgotten the importance of being naked with
each other.
This is what births happiness … and wholeness. Unless the 2 meet, there will always be dissatisfaction.
I shook
my head in the 1980’s when my daughter idolized singers and actors that
emulated 1950’s idols and actors (traditional values as opposed to the ‘modern’
outlook on life) WHILE screaming for ‘women’s rights!’ – rights that had
already been fought for … and won; all to the detriment of society as a whole
(MPO). But her teachers were telling her that women had no rights; and her
parents were “too old-fashioned to understand”. Imagine that: too old-fashioned!
Bob and I were anything but old-fashioned; but, we were married …
and that, according to her ‘educated’ teachers, labeled us a clueless/out-of-touch
and out-of-step. We shrugged and laughed at the arrogant stupidity of the
clueless 20-something teachers; and hoped out children would mature with the
passage of time, like Bob and I did: they didn’t.
Throughout
all of the 1990’s, we watched our children struggle through a topsy-turvy life,
where confused men sulked and angry women demanded to “live like men do!”
– generally women with a sad and unjustifiable view of the male sex:
began to bully their way through life; looked down on those they deemed
unworthy as they clawed their way up the social ladder of pandering acceptance;
pushed down compassionate empathy to be “like men”; indulged in bold open affairs
with whoever-whenever – the younger, the better (school rapes between female
‘teachers’ and underage male children were glorified) and older women
proudly wore the title ‘Cougar’ as they paraded their boy-toys.
Women
were ‘empowered’ to act like fools, and men were emotionally and spiritually castrated
to the point of being worthless for anything except a sexual escapade: they
were throwaways with no rights when it came to the murder/or the adoption
of their children, who were the unwanted result of free-for-all-romps.
The ‘liberated’
women were acting like men alright … the culls of the male spectrum;
those who exhibited the base animal instinct of animals.
What
woman, in her right mind, would want to sink so low; and behave so low?
A truly
liberated woman knows her value, is beautiful and desirable in her own worth …
and behaves like a Queen – solo lobo, or coupled: a truly liberated woman never
forgets she is priceless.
Bob knew
my value: he always told me I was his “beautiful Lady”; he desired me because I
was desirable (even in the free-love 1970's, I was not a cut-rate slut giving my favors out to everyone
and anyone, just because I could) … and he always treated me as his equal
because I wouldn’t accept less: from anyone. I was my King Bee’s Queen – and that’s how he
talked about me/treated me.
We had each other’s hearts.
We had each other’s backs.
We had a good thing 😊
I always
laughed when Bob called me his Lady; but now, I glory in the fact that he
saw a Lady in me … and that I was, indeed, “his Lady”; despite my
tomboy appearance and behavior, I always valued myself – my own unique individuality
that would not allow anyone to use, abuse, or take advantage of me.
Bob was
privy to my secrets; and he saw/encouraged my inner-strength.
Bob knew what it cost me
to hand him my heart – he treasured it, and took care of it, to his last breath
this side of Heaven
Bob experienced
my budding softness – he birthed it in me.
We were true soulmates. I feel half of me has
been amputated
My heart can never belong to anyone
else; it was always Bobs ~ always.
I
respected ME: and I expected everyone else to respect me too. I didn’t
waste time or energy on those who wouldn’t see my worth.
There was
always more between Bob and I than just sex. It may have started out that way
for the first few weeks (I was so happy to finally meet my Mr. Fantasy that
I wasn’t going to waste any time enjoying him – and letting him enjoy me!);
but as our love took root, sex quickly became lovemaking – deep and
true/pouring ourselves into each other and drawing the best out for each other;
we shared our secrets/fears/hopes/dreams. We inspired each other to hope: and
dared to dream. WE were more than tangled sheets, bodies, and hair – I and
me became WE … and We were tangled, committed hearts: there was no other way
for us.
I was tough,
but Bob brought out the softness in me 😉
I am a strong equal, but I see no need to castrate a man to see
myself as ‘an equal’.
Aggressively
angry woman are never beautiful, or desirable to anyone: not even herself, and
that is why so many women today are dissatisfied.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ9mz2MlwU4)
They know
how to get naked… but they don’t know how to be naked.
They’ve lost their inner self.
Our
children, though shunning us, and our way of life, did decide to keep their children
(thank God!), and we welcomed 3 granddaughters (spaced throughout the
‘90’s) into this madhouse life that had become the standard “modern life” on
Earth, the 3rd planet from the sun. I worried how they might grow
up healthy, and happy … in such a twisted worldview.
With the
dawning of 2000, the term ‘hippie’ came into societal play again … but there
was nothing about the term that was recognizable to either Bob or myself –
the term had been hijacked by the demonrats to push a political agenda, and
rush a nobody from nowhere into the White house; solely on skin color and
religious background: an outright coup downplayed by applauding a political
party that advocated for ‘women’s rights!’ that include free drug use, free sex,
free abortion, free gender reassignment – and very few even batted an eye at
the obvious political tyranny that played out for 8 long and tortuous years: no
one wanted to be labeled a racist by racists in governing seats – and most
especially in the highest seat of our Nation.
Whereas
the term ‘hippie’, had originally meant ‘against the establishment’ … the new emphasis
on hippie, was to embrace the establishment because the demonrat establishment
will give you free drugs, free medical, free housing, free food, free abortion,
free schooling, free gender reassignment – ect. It is a trap, but drug-addled,
sex-crazed people are easily led to entrapment. Especially if the trap is what
they fantasize about.
1970's Hippies
Apparently the anti-establishment has changed their mind about ‘the man’ – biden is die-hard-‘do-nothing-establishment’. But they, his followers get free drugs and a 10’x10’ spot in a tent city; paid for BY THE ESTABLISHMENT.
obama-clinton-pelosi-biden-harris violently destructive 2020 'summer of love' - COURTESY OF THE ESTABLISHMENT. insleeze claims he “never heard of it”.
We
welcomed a grandson in 2014 … and I really worried about his future as a
male. My worry is justifiable: besides being viewed as a sexual plaything, a
male has no value in today’s society; there is no place for a male – and now,
males are being ‘reassigned’ new ‘gender roles’. Manhood is being eradicated,
as angry females denouncing President Trump for his “lockeroom talk”
– that makes him “a despicable pig!” … gnash their teeth, and gleefully shout, “grab
him by the balls and squeeze till he screams! Use your power to make him kneel
and beg for mercy!” about any and all men: they’ve been doing
this for decades, and it’s insanely sad, and pathetic.
2020 feminism. NO tolerance at all.
2020 feminism. The murderous hatred is now going
beyond killing the innocent before they even draw a breath – they want to bag ‘bigger
game’ now; it almost sounds cannibalistic.
2020 feminism. NO! He is deluded ... men are not
females; no matter how surgically enhanced or mentally deranged them become.
The obamanite freakshow is not reality.
2020 feminism. TOTAL DISCONNECT.
THIS PURE/VIOLENT
HATRED is not ‘feminism’ – it is demeaning to womanhood.
So, here
we are again, in 2020 … reliving the mid-2000’s … with the same ugly political faces/ugly
political attitudes/ugly political agenda/ugly political results – shouting the
same political rhetoric, to suck in the unwary, the lost, and the gullible. But
there is a new sick twist to the twisted freakshow the obama era birthed: sexual
gender has been erased. For all the spiel about ‘needing a woman President’ … and
pushing a parody of a woman forward in man-necked kamala harris (who
apparently doesn’t even know how to pronounced her own name), HOW can we be
sure there will ever be an ACTUAL FEMALE President, if that ever happens?
The demonrat
party has become a gender freakshow parody. It’s really sad that people, in
America think this fantastical insanity is ‘normal’ and acceptable as sane or
rational behavior.
michael obama's moral hypocrisy; barak’s ‘wife’ really
has high standards, doesn’t he?
And then … hellery became ‘Tammy Wynette’.
This lying witch can see past her own nose to
comprehend her hateful hypocrisy.
Apparently the obama-clinton-pelosi-harris have no
problem at all with their sexually inappropriate pet, dementia boy biden. They don’t
even try to hide their familial skeletons anymore.
Preaching the party line: what an aspiration to the
female sector of society..
demonrat lawlessness agenda
obamanite daily freakshow
amazon clothing ... thanks to the sexually deviant
obama era
What has
been taking place across America for 60-70 years is not women empowering themselves!
Back to the article …
ORIGINAL
POST: {“Excellent read: Love
After Death: The Widow’s Romantic Predicaments
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201203/love-after-death-the-widows-romantic-predicaments?fbclid=IwAR2wIZ_0mFBWjqRa-DRFmo57wK_M2hKglBDlEEMqOPaDgmmc5PEA-MTT_2o
So few people really understand the widow's
desire for a second love, or worse yet, don't care to understand.”}
ME: I think
people do understand the life of a widow … we no longer live in the Victorian
era; but most people realize love, romance, and sex are private matters.
They have to be dealt with privately.
Page by page, as our new life unfolds.
Widows
are not cookie-cutter figures; each widow is different, unique in her sorrow –
in her life story unfolding: no 1 assessment will fit the assortment. There is
no quick, or easy “fix”.
I think
most widows, themselves, are the confused ones as they try to come to terms
with their new station in life – and that’s okay: it’s an adjustment.
I was
only 6 weeks into my solo lobo life, when me sister asked me if I was thinking
about dating: it angered me. The insensitivity still angers me.
It was at
Bob’s Celebration of Life Event, August 30th, 2019, that one of his
Aunts came up to me and said I should start thinking about dating again. I
was speechless – I had just placed Bob’s Cremains Box! I know she meant
well, but it was offensive.
Friends, too, jumped on the Dating Bandwagon.
Widow Groups started setting up Dating Rooms.
I don’t know
why everyone seems to believe it is their mission in life to push widows into
the dating game.
IF … and
that is a very “iffy” I.F. … ((((I)))) decide to wet my toes in the
shallow end of a testosterone pool – that is MY business; not anyone else’s
business to meddle in.
I am not
in High School: I don’t feel the need to parade around with a male trailing me –
or share giggly whispers with curious females around the water fountain.
Bob
always was … and always will BE my passion; no one else can change that. I don’t
feel guilty for loving my husband. And I don’t allow others to guilt me into
dating; so they feel comfortable around me.
My life is MINE.
I CHOSE how I want to live it.
I shared
my life with Bob for 44 years; I have continued to share my life with Bob for
the past 23 months he’s been absent from my life.
I am not
interested in dating: not even the tiniest bit interested.
But, if
Elohim has other plans for my life … He will clue me in, and I will discuss that
new spur off the main road of my life, with Him – and with my husband.
Without guilt.
Without pressure from strangers.
Without anyone else’s opinions.
And with
all his original male {junk} intact: not surgically ‘gender’ manipulated. If
Elohim has a man waiting in the wings for me, he will be a man from start
to finish … not a freaky sideshow manifestation.
Walking on the wild side of life doesn’t
interest me.
Two
Novembers ago, in a different lifetime, Bob told me to live.
How I
choose to live, is my business; the world does not get to guilt me into doing
what they think I should do (according to their time schedule), to feel
complete.
I AM ‘complete’ at this phase of my unfolding
life.
I am enough.
{{The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He
will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love; He will
rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)}}
I
AM SO GLAD!
Thank
You Yeshua, El Gibbor (Mighty One).
