Bob was a chivalrous man. And I was a liberated
teenage woman. I thought it cute that he wanted to open his truck door for me –
but I preferred to do it myself; and said so with a smile. I also paid Dutch
for the first month and a half every time we went out. I had serious trust
issues and didn’t want to be beholden to anyone. He insisted on holding doors
open though, when we went into restaurants; or taverns – and I even found myself
smiling when I felt his big hand span the small of my back as we moved through
crowed areas: he loved me and was being all manly towards his "Lady". He was also staking his
claim and letting other males know I was already ‘taken’. I surprised us
both, and didn’t get all feminist prickly with that protective action: I liked
it ;-) And I didn’t mind him wrapping me up in his big jacket when the
night chill settled over us. I never did become a true 'Lady', but Bob did bring out the best in me :-D
Bob was a man of chivalry. He was gallant – but in
a real way, not just a flirtatious manner; Bob had absolutely no ego. Bob was a
man of honor – and he was shown honor and respect by everyone who came in
contact with him. He was the genuine article, and people responded to that
genuine character. Bob was a courteous man – he treated everyone politely, and
he spoke softly. He was gentle with everyone, and respectful and considerate –
whether they deserved it or not. Me? Not so much. I generally treated
people the way they treated me … I was not as obliging as Bob. Bob was a true
gentleman and powerful person because of that character.
I liked that in Bob.
And Bob liked me feisty; he knew he never had to
worry about me holding my own with anyone – and he kinda got a bang out of
watching me go toe to toe with those who tried to put me in my place ;-)
Ying & Yang.
Bob was the calm I needed in my life, and I was
the adventure Bob wanted in his life.
We balanced each other.
My chivalrous Babe was a dying breed in a world
that was becoming decivilized.
But this afternoon, I was treated to an unexpected
open-handed act that (1) surprised me (2) made me laugh (3) made me smile to realize
that chivalry is not yet dead.
This morning, I was on my FB Page going through
my New Year’s Eve posts and deleting a LOT of songs I had posted: basically, to
clean out the ‘Activities’ section of my Page. Some songs I played as I
scrolled. About the time I got to “Sweet Nothin’s” (I posted that one in remembrance
of Bob because he liked Brenda Lee’s singing) and that song played through –
with “Wild Thing” piggy-backing on it, I was in tears. Bob used to call me his ‘little
wild thing’, and sing that song to me … wiggling his eyebrows at me and
grinning at me when the song got to the “Wild Thing, I think I love you” part;
and squeezing my hand and kissing my palm when the song got to the part, “I
love you”. That was it – I had to get out of the house for a while and
put some distance between the litany of posted songs and the memories they were
invoking.
I have been craving a few special salad combos,
so I decided to take a leisurely drive to Castle Rock’s Select Market, to get
them. I had thought to go over Delameter, but went through Longview instead, because
I needed water and coffee – and I thought to pick up the January Itineraries at
both the Kelso, and the Castle Rock Senior Centers. I haven’t actually joined
in any of the activities yet, but I plan to; and I want to know what’s
happening on what day ;-) After paying for my water and coffee, I started
walking towards the car … and a woman driver stopped in the middle of the parking lot
and started backing up TOWARDS ME AT TURBO SPEED. I wanted so badly to have
one of those air horns in my hands to honk loudly at her! I honestly
thought she would run me over before she braked to a stop and nipped into a
vacant spot:
Air Horn – buy one and put it in my tote for moments like today!
Chivalry is not dead.
Car loaded, hatchback secured, I hopped in the
car and ran over to JoAnn’s Craft Store to grab 5 plastic canvas sheets to make
snowflakes with (I will post pictures after they are done), then moseyed across
the street to the Kelso Senior Center and picked up January’s Itinerary Bulletin
…
Then it was off to Castle Rock, via West Side
Highway. Hadn’t driven that way for a few months, so it was fun to go that way
today after passing through downtown Longview. It was a nice leisurely country
drive. I like Castle Rock, so I don’t mind driving the distance. I
stopped at the Castle Rock Senior Center first and got their January Itinerary Sheet,
before driving to the Select Market and picking up 5 ready-serve-combo salads: I
got a Vanilla Coke and 4 Chicken Tender Strips too, to eat on the way home. Leaving Castle Rock, I drove up over Ph10 and accessed Cline Road Spur, to get to Delameter,
which would drop me onto Coal Creek Road that would take me to Ocean Beach
Highway; and home. A 45 minutes drive (give or take a few seconds) on an
easy day:
West Side Longview to Downtown Longview
Downtown Longview to West Side Highway
West Side Highway to Castle Rock
Castle Rock Senior Citizen Itinerary Sheet
Ph10 Road, from Castle Rock
Cline Road Sign, which leads from Castle Rock
Cline Road (spur off Ph10) from Castle Rock
DUMPED GARBAGE! Pigs!! I was really pissed off to catch sight of this mess >:-P
Cline Road Spur
Road work still underway on Delameter Road.
Delameter Road from Cline Road
Lower end of Delameter Road
GOOD THING I HAVE MUNCHIES. :-D
West Longview from Coal Creek
When traffic started moving again …
Road Crew chewing into the hillside along Delameter Road.
… I
chuckled watching a country dating drama play out over an open mailbox and a
handful of mail ;-) The road crews might be tearing up the countryside on Delameter,
but along the roadside, love is blossoming :-D It was the cutest thing to
watch: one of the neon-vested crew fellas had his eye on a young woman checking
her mail, and obviously figured today would be the day he’d introduce himself
and see how far it would get him. LOL. He hem-hawed around for a bit before
mustering up the courage to saunter over to her and start up a covo ;-) As I
passed them, I do believe a date had been agreed to, and set; because she was
smiling … and he had a definite spring in his walk when he walked back to his
road position :-D
He appeared to have been behaving in a chivalrous
manner while talking to his female interest. MPO
Their little ‘I’d like to get to know you’
drama made me laugh, too, when it sparked a memory of David’s attempt in early
Spring of 1974 to introduce me to Bob when I had been walking on the sidewalk
of Main Street; before Doug inadvertently threw Bob and I together a few weeks
later at Bob’s house, where Doug had been a renter (they were working
together at the time). When the neon-vested fella this afternoon was
talking to his female interest, he unconsciously moved his shoulders in a way that
catapulted my thoughts back to that Spring evening on Main Street Cathlamet,
where David hailed me from across the street and literally ran Bob across to
meet me. And I wasn’t interested – in fact, I was kinda irked with David because
he knew I was stepping out with Doug. But I did catch a glimpse of the tall guy
standing next to David – not enough to pay close attention, but enough of
a passing glance to see that he was tall, smiling, and moved his shoulders in
an unconscious way that was boyishly shy and sexy as hell (Bob always did
that shoulder thing when he was contemplating doing something he was nervous
about). Then, blushing, I lowered my eyes, and spent the rest of the time
staring at Bob’s hush puppy shoes. LOL! Because I was actively dating Doug and
I wasn’t interested in jumping the fence; so, I didn’t pay attention to Bob’s
facial features (I was basically ignoring the both of them); I was
not aware that the tall guy standing next to David was my pined for ‘fella with
The Face’. Looking back on that meeting, and knowing how ‘The Face’ had
such a grip on my heart, it was Elohim’s saving grace that I didn’t KNOW who David
was trying to hook me up with that Spring of 1974 – Elohim was saving us from
a dicey situation.
Remembering, I felt a pang of missingness. The
memory made me laugh – but it also brought tears to my eyes. I had fled the
house to escape the pangs of missingness, and here, it caught up to me anyway on the
backroad between Castle Rock and home.
Halfway over Delameter, I glanced to the back of
the car and saw that the hatch window wiper had suddenly stopped working.
WTHeck. So, I pulled over and checked it out; it seemed fine – nothing was stuck
between the blade and glass:
BACK WIPER QUIT WORKING halfway over Delameter Road. Took the car to Toyota.
I debated lifting the blade, because I am not the
gentlest person on the face of the Earth – I’m pretty rough n’ tumble – and I
didn’t want to accidentally break the thing by moving it too suddenly or at
an awkward angle that would seriously damage it. I was nervous when I lifted it
and was happy when it started wiping again. But, before I dropped onto Coal
Creek Road, it quit again. I wasn’t happy that it had become apparent I would
need to drive all the way across town to Toyota’s Maintenance Cubby once I
reached Ocean Beach Highway: THAT little unwelcomed and unforeseen jaunt had
not been in my plans! And I worried that whatever needed tweaked may no
longer be covered under the quickly dissipating Warranty Coverage. But; I like
to have the back window wiper working. So, across town I would go. Darn it!
I was really missing Bob by then.
And frustrated that the day kept kicking that ‘rainy
day broken bone’ missingness into a throbbing ache.
No matter where I went, or what I did, to
distance myself from it.
When I reached the Ocean Beach end of Coal Creek
Road, I decided to drive the back road and Industrial Way to Toyota, instead of
following Ocean Beach Highway through downtown Longview; it seemed to me to be
quicker that way that fighting traffic in town …
Industrial Way Road from Coal Creek Road
Toyota of Coweeman Park Drive from Industrial Way Road
Longview to the left – Rainier Bridge (aka: Lewis and Clark Bridge) to Oregon, to the right – here I sit smack dab in the center, looking at all the big trucks and thinking of Bob; I didn’t see any Lemmon’s Trucking Trucks, but I was thinking of Bob just the same. He drove this stretch of road: this short piece of road that crosses Industrial Way to 3rd Avenue where Lemmon’s was located, to the Port of Longview, and across the Lewis and Clark Bridge to dump chip loads. For 17 years.
The traffic light took too long to change.
It was raining figuratively.
It was raining in real time.
There was just NO escaping the memories of Bob
today.
No where.
I left the house earlier today to put some
distance between those memories and myself today … but, the whole day has been
saturated with memories.
When I finally reached Toyota, and explained the
problem, the girl taking notations listened, walked to the back of the car –
lifted the hatch back – and said, “the cases of water back here are probably
pushing on the door and sending a signal to the data-board telling it the hatch
isn’t all the way shut, and when you hit a bump coming over Delameter, it shut
down and stopped”: she pushed the cases forward, lowered the hatch, and
said, “It should be okay now.” That sounded logical; and it was
possible. I backed the car up – watching the back wiper; turned it towards home
… and didn’t even get out of the parking lot … before I was parked in front
of the Maintenance Cubby again: the wiper was stuck in the same position
and not budging. So, the car was assigned a number - I was told it “will
take time; you don’t have an appointment, and we are backed up”. I handed
over Bob’s key fob, and thought ‘Fine; just fix it please’. And
sat in the reception room – with annoying Pat Robertson droning on and on and
on in the background – about 2 hours before the problem was fixed and I could
leave. Somehow the spring on the wiper arm had come loose and the signal was scrambled.
It was tightened down, and should be okay now. I am hoping.
And, it was covered under the Warranty: THANK
YOU, ELOHIM!
Coming back home through Industrial Way, 2 log
trucks were ahead of me, and the scent of the Fir logs almost did me in: to my
senses, that crisp, refreshing, pungent scent – will always be associated with
Bob. For all of my life with Bob, he carried that scent with him: in his hair,
on his clothing, on his skin: logging, splitting and stacking cords of wood at
home for our wood heat (Oh! The vision of that memory! Bob could chop blocks
of wood with one swing of the axe while reaching for another like he was a
quick moving assembly line worker: he was fast, and he was beauty in action),
or driving chip truck. My eyes teared up when that scent hit my nostrils:
Honestly!
I could have stayed home and been surrounded by
memories that made me swallow hard, laugh with misty eyes, and choke back tears
:-(
But, I am glad I got out of the house for most of
the day; and I am really glad I found out about the back window wiper as close
to home as I was ... instead of being hours away from the dealership – in that
sense, the rainy day and the missingness it birthed, was worth it.
When I got back home and picked up the mail, I
saw that the Xfinity bill was quite a bit higher than I had been told it would
be, back in November. That wasn’t right! I needed to go talk to them about that
at their downtown office. I also grabbed the AT/T bill and decided to pay that at
their downtown Office too. So, back into the car I hopped … and back
through downtown Longview I went.
First stop was Xfinity. I explained why I was
there – why the amount due was not accurate: and was given the proverbial bum’s
rush and textual spiel. I listened – repeated back what I heard, so there would
be no misunderstanding about why I didn’t understand about her spiel … and
when all was said and done, my monthly billing starting in February will BE
LESS than the agreed to amount due FOR THIS MONTH, quoted to me back in
November’s consultation, given to me by Aaron – who was very chivalrous. Basically,
in this month’s billing, the girl told me that I was hit with a penalty fee due
to a “pro-rate/in-between averages” costs when December 2018’s Widow Sympathies
Package reduction ended, and the ending of 2019’s escalation rates began, AND
the “new terms agreement” clause was enacted: sounds like double-talk
bullshit to me. But, at ANY RATE, when I left Xfinity today, I left with
a 2020 monthly billing set in place for $10 LESS than November’s reduced
pricing. Not sure how that math works; but I won’t complain. I’m
satisfied with the outcome ;-)
And I missed Bob. Bob would understand the mathematical
concept.
At AT/T’s office, they watched me come through
the doors with trepidation: I have had nothing BUT TROUBE with AT/T since showing
them Bob’s Death Certificate and having his phone transferred into my Name
only. They just can’t get their shit together with the correct billing. And
sparks have flown over the months between me and them.
So, their eyes were not happy to see me come
through the doors.
Like the rats they are, they send a newbie to
deal with me. And they must have scared him with their push of him in my
direction, because his voice actually shook a little when he asked, “So.
What’s the problem?” I almost laughed out loud; but I took mercy on him,
and said, “Nothing’s wrong – I was just in town so I thought I’d swing by
and pay my bill here before heading home.” He audibly let out a huge sigh of
relief, and said, “Great! I can help you with that.” And he did.
He was very chivalrous ;-)
When the doors closed behind me, I laughed all
the way to the car. For once, there were no fireworks in the AT/T Downtown
Office.
I stopped at Hart-C’s on the way home to grab 2
fried spring rolls to eat with 1 of the salad combo’s I’d brought back from Castle
Rock. Bob and I ate at Hart-C’s from the time we started dating, until the Grim
Reaper came between us; we ate there when it was a hamburger grill … and after
it became a Thai food restaurant. The owner who runs it now is the son of the
previous owner – the family immigrated from Thailand decades ago; Bob
and I watched this young man grow up – their family watched our family grow up:
watched our grandchildren grow up. We were friends. We are like family with
each other. While I waited for my spring rolls, we talked about everything,
everyone in his family, his 1-year old son, the Wedding Ring now on his finger,
how I am doing without Bob; we told jokes, we laughed, we shared saved phone pictures
… and all throughout the convo & sharing … I am watching him
teaching his nephew, who now works there, how to be chivalrous with the
customers.
Chivalry is not dead.
And with those small acts of kindness throughout
the day, the missingness of Bob suddenly seemed lighter.
Chivalry is not dead – and it did my heart good
to see that character (a hand in friendship, acts of generosity, and common
courtesy) come alive in the young men who Elohim sent across my path today
:-D
