Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Monday, March 22, 2021

Stage 3 ~ What A ‘Coincidence’

I jumped the State-line-border this morning – bright and early – to do some clothes shopping: I’ve lost so much weight these past 27 months, that the clothes I had been wearing were starting to hang very unbecomingly on me. I’m still a curvy granny … but it was time to replace the old duds with new ones 😉

I like color in my life, so everything I brought home is bright and cherry – not flamboyant like a peacock, but peppy like a flamingo 😊

Now, I won’t look like a frumpy dumpling when I’m out and about this year.

I also bought a new scale to weigh myself on; I bought the one being replaced 27 years ago, and I have noticed that it hasn’t been ‘on the mark’ for a few months. I want a reliable accounting of my weight loss.

My clothing told me I had lost a significant amount of weight … but the scales yo-yoed from day to day.

And I bought an easel mirror, and put it together myself: that thing was heavy!

I was happily contemplating my purchased choices, when I heard the announcement on the radio that “all of WA State had been opened to a Stage 3 level”: I’m sure most of WA State was excited – I was getting angry.

The {opening} is a political game of ‘toss the deplorables a bone’: in the obamanite politicians’ eyes … everyone in America (who does not hold a political seat) is a deplorable – even those poor dimwitted deadheads that went blindly ‘ridin with biden’.

The opening is a badly played ‘coincidence’ that shamelessly coincides with the demonrat power play of throwing open the southern border and allowing thousands of illegal migrants to pour into America like a flood.

These people – children, from age 1 to age 18 – are being given a free pass without legit Citizenship process.

These people are being placed above American children.

These people are not being tested for covid before being rushed across the border to be bussed and flown to PNW States; where they will be housed in hotels and given $1,200.00 “just because”.

American CITIZENS were TOLD FOR A SOLD YEAR that “covid is a killer!” that is ‘fatally spread’ by breathing without a mask. It was ‘dangerously’ spread on surfaces – including clothing.

People who did not swallow the spoon-fed-political bullshit, were treated like criminals: “Those who do not follow the science, are enemies of the State!”

Businesses were shuttered – and threatened with hefty fines in the Thousands of $$$$$$$’s if they dared to open with demonrat governors’ sanctimonious nod.

Employees lost their jobs – many lost their homes, and some even took their own lives … as the scientific lies went on, and on, and on; with no realistic ‘scientific hope’ in sight.

Without customers, many businesses floundered – and eventually sunk: closing their doors forever and succumbing to bankruptcy.

Children were not allowed to go back to school; some children became so despondent, they started harming themselves – they had lost hope of ever having a normal life again (no more visits with grandparents/forbidden to spend physical contact time with their friends/overhearing their parent’s fears of the future).

People dying without benefit of a loved one’s presence in those final moments; grieving people left to flounder alone because places they would normally go for relief had closed and barred their doors: including churches.

And now, NOW the obama-biden-cartel is telling the people to the south below America, “COME! Come across the border without repercussions.”

American Citizens are not allowed to work outside their homes without the {approved} vaccine President Trump initiated … and the obama-biden-cartel is taking the credit for – and forcing on everyone (EXCEPT those flooding across the southern border!)

Those who reject the restrictions are heckled, harassed, fined heavily, and shunned with a great deal of shameful shaming attempts.

American Citizens are not allowed to travel freely from State to State, without masks … or a touted ‘vaccine passport’ … and they certainly are not given carte blanche welcomes at hotels. We can’t even find an {open} fitting room, in which to try our clothing choices on, before we purchase them!

Some of the clothing choices I purchased this afternoon will have to be returned; if I had been able to try them on before buying them, the returning of some would not be taking place.

It is ridiculous that brainwashed American Citizens are allowing this political “scientific” shell game to continue.

Apparently covid only attacks and kills Christian Americans with light skin: riotous Anti-Americas and illegal aliens shrouded in the political banner of ‘people of color’ are immune to the deadly effects of a ‘global killer!’ virus …

Right?

Apparently, some people in America really like the taste of bullshit, because they continue to swallow it.

Since the beginning of this politically enhanced {covid crisis!}, boosted by putrid {scientific} bullshit, I have bucked the hysteria and continued to live my life the way ((((I)))) see fit. 

And I will continue to do so.

It is glaringly obvious that covid was used as a battering ram to push biden into Office to push obama’s agenda – which is to lie, cheat, and steal … to and from The People.

The evil twins ...

Saturday, March 20, 2021

TRAGICALLY HORRIFIC

This crap would be laughable, if it wasn’t so tragically horrific …


The murderous islamic-marxist terrorist black panther organization (aka blm/antifa) lauded as hero’s? 

School children forced to celebrate “black communism” and simulate a black power rally?

No black person should ever be arrested?

Biology f.a.c.t.s. are false, and irrelevant?

Equality is racism?

Required “educational” re-education?

WTH???

The obamanites are raising Hell, and forcing devilish mindsets and activities on our children … while claiming they are against child abuse.

Reality no longer exists in America.


SELFISHNESS = HEALING

On the surface, the very word ‘selfishness’ looks very negative – and it appear to be out of step with Spring.

But those who care to scratch the surface of my life … know that I need the freedom selfishness allows, in order to survive – and keep in step with Spring.

Literally.

Undertaking the restructuring and remodeling a new life … 27 months/6 days/10 hours & 21 minutes after being bumped from Wife to Widow – and a little over 1 year of covid isolation/blm-antifa riotous destruction/demonrat Anti-American madness … my new life demands selfishness to boost me along the solo lobo journey I currently find myself on.

I cannot allow the hysterical fear of other people to cripple my life.

I cannot allow strangers to “manage” my life according to their ideas of what is “best” for my life.

At no other time in one’s life must a person think ONLY of themselves; at the cost of losing and/or upsetting many people.

Just as one prunes and tidies their outdoor surroundings with the arrival of Spring – so must one prune and tidy the environment in which their life thrives, grows, and matures.

So yes, I’ve been selfish, these 826 life-altering days.

And yes, my life-saving selfishness has upset people – and I even lost family members, and a friend over it. Many widows lose more than one friend.

Clueless people, who have not yet experienced significant loss (and herd-minded people, with robotic tendencies) do not … cannot … or will not … understand the very thin rope that widowing people are trying to grasp/hold onto. 

And so, they leave your life.

Which, in most instances, turns out to be a very good thing.

There’s nothing like a life altering situation to open your eyes to who your friends really are. 

Friends who know what love means.

And what “hanging in there” means.

No.

Matter.

What.

When I permit myself to look back over the initial 24 months of widowhood (which I don’t do often anymore), I am amazed that I am still here: healthy in body, soul, and spirit.

Totally amazed.

And very thankful to steadfast family members; and good, newly acquired friends, who loved/encouraged me through every moment of it – who didn’t expect me to “be there” for them, knowing that I couldn’t even “be there” for myself the first 12 months of my new life status: and many of them totally disagree with me on the covid issue.

Yet, they have not ditched me.

I have been blessed abundantly.

The people in my life know, that for the time being, my dance with selfishness is working a healing in my fractured life.

That shows the caliber of friends that I do have.

I owe so very much to them: they will never know the depth of my gratitude.

Yet all I can do in the moment – and all they care that I do, is to love them for the gentle/caring souls they are.

And I do.

So.

Very.

Much.

Friday, March 19, 2021

SHABBAT THANKFULNESS ~ Health & Friends

Shabbat Shalom 😊 

This Shabbat, I’m thankful for my health; my friends, and my life. I have a good life, all things considered.

Shabbat Thankfulness - Health & Friends.

My health is where it needs to be, at my age – and my friends are good people.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

And I never take any of it for granted: I am aware that all of that could change at any given moment. But, for the time being, I’m good with all of it – and I’m thankful for all of it.

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring; and as soon as the weather permits, I will start my day-tripping again … and some road trips.

Trips planned are places I never went to, with Bob.

I am planning some new road trips this year.

They aren’t cross-country ventures, but some of them will be lengthy 8-hour drives. An 8-hour drive (4 hours each way, and roughly a 4-hour exploratory visit) constitutes a road trip’ status. I’ll be leaving at 7 AM, and getting back home around 7 PM.

I am planning one specific lengthy road venture for sometime in July because the weather will be favorable then: the winds off the ocean won’t be so strong, or so bone-chilling.

A first for me - my first solo overnight trip scheduled.

I believe I can handle that 😉

I’ll probably plan that trip for a Monday, to avoid the weekend frenzy; and it will give purpose and direction to a Monday – that day won’t be a dreaded Monday, it will be enjoyable. There may be frustration at some point, but in general, it will be an exciting day full of adventure.

I’m looking forward to that 😊

And on that trip, I’ll have a duffle packed with overnight necessities stashed in the car before it leaves the carport; just in case I need to hole up at some point and spend the night.

Though I am fairly healthy, my left leg is still not where it needs to be – it’s not bad, but it’s not 100%. And I’ve come to the conclusion that it may never be 100% again. I don’t really know what’s wrong with it, except that it hurts like there is arthritis in the lower bone. Some research suggests that the pain may be sciatica related: maybe. I’m not sure. All I know for sure is that the pain never lets up, even when the intensity abates.

But, I’m also 64 years old; so, I figure aging plays a part in that, too.

And that’s okay. My leg still serves me well … I’m still able to get out and do things I want to do. I just have to take things easy and make necessary adjustments. Instead of a steady 8 to 12 hours in the driver’s seat – I’ve cut the mileage in half with breaks to walk and stretch the kinks out: and have begun entertaining throwing an overnight stay into the mix now and then, when needed. Instead of 5 to 8-mile hikes – I’ve cut them back to half of that distance; and that seems to be working for the time being.

And, in all honesty, I was told about a decade ago, not to hike more than 1 mile each way … I’ve been pushing the envelope for years, and my body is now telling me that I need to pay attention, and slow my motor down 😉

It’s not easy for me to give way to aging restrictions.

It’s not easy aging alone.

But, I’m not really alone: I have Elohei with me always – and I have good friends in my life. And I want to stay in my house, fending for myself as long as I can; that means I have to start thinking long-term-adjustments that lead into the future; I can do that. When the time comes that I can no longer stay in my house, I have asked Elohim to just take me Home, rather than consider a Nursing Home. I have every reason to believe Elohim will honor my request to go Home, instead. I don’t anticipate that happening any time soon, but at some point, it will.

But back to the road trips …

I want to get out and about as soon as I can; for as long as I am able to do so.

And I am not going to allow egomaniac governors, fearful family members – or delusional and incoherent fearmongers, dictate to me how I am to live my life. No one has the right to do that. People can make suggestions, but they cannot dictate. They are trying with the mandates, but I will not allow them that satisfaction. America is still the Land of the Free … and I am still a free Citizen.

No one, but me, knows what is BEST for ME. I have always done what is best for me. And I will continue to do what is best for me. I will consider suggestions of family and friends – but, ultimately, I will do what is best for me. When Bob was still walking the Earth as a flesh and blood man, I took his wants and desires into consideration and adjusted my sails when needed: but, Bob is not here now; and no one else knows what is best for me. Bob and I melded our lives together – every decision was a joint decision, even if we did not necessarily agree with each other: we were 1 … our life together exampled that.

I am no longer 1 with anyone else There is no longer a 24-hour human contact as there is in other homes that choose to barricade themselves in their homes, quaking with hyped covid fears: in my home, there is no more husband to share life with, there are no more children/grandchildren to converse with – there is no longer anyone in my home, but me. And the walls in my home echo with memories.

Those memories, while good ones, cannot sustain a healthy environment; they can trip me up in life when they cripple my heart. I love Bob, I miss him – but I cannot live healthily on memories … and I do not want to be stuck in a never-ending-cycle of missingness. I need, at times, to put distance between myself and those memories. Hence the daytrips/road-trips.

My friends understand that about me – and my very good friends encourage me to get out; they know me – they knew me with Bob, and they know I need to escape once in a while. So, they supply me with solo lobo venturing tips: and they explain all the fancy car dodads that make life easier (which the car manual does not explain in plain language, for ‘dummies’ like me 😉).

I am thankful for my helpful friends' encouragements and help.

This Shabbat, I am really thanking Elohim for everything He’s gotten me through, for everything He’s getting me through, and for everything He will see me through.

I am still working on my ambition job of getting as many items, as I can, finished and to the Caring Pregnancy Center before the Spring Daytrips pick up speed. I have quite a few things put aside now, to be dropped off; but I would like to get a few more things done up.

And my Ambitions Jar is full of slips of paper with names, addresses, and information concerning places to visit and experience from now until September 2021. These are places I have never been to (not even with Bob); I was careful this year, to fill my Ambitions Jar with new places to experience every weekend – places Bob would not have wanted to do with me, if he were still here: County Parks in different counties; State Parks in different counties; Park picnics; County Museums in small towns; small hole-in-the-wall Shops & laid-back Restaurants in different counties; browse Flea Markets; explore off-the-beaten-track things.

Bob didn’t mind going on road-trip Daytrips with me, but he wanted to get there – and get back home, with little dilly-dallying. That worked for me, as long as Bob was with me. But, Bob isn’t here now, and I like to dink around when I’m out and about: now, I can spend time taking time to savor new environments away from home.

And I’m not going to apologize to anyone, anywhere, for getting out and about. I’ll be in my car 95% of the time … and when I am out of my car, I’ll be in places with little to no foot traffic: perfectly ‘safe’ for fearful strangers, as well as for carefree and footloose me.

Elohei has not given us the spirit of fear, but a spirt of life and freedom: and I intend to enjoy life and freedom to the max 😊

I'm okay in this stage of my life, to date.
L’Chiam! ~ To Life!

Thursday, March 18, 2021

WOKENESS LULLS PEOPLE TO SLEEP

I’ve never read anything …

(https://pdfhost.io/v/MSUTbDaqD_GCS_Inclusive_Language_Guide_21pdf.pdf)

… so patently stupid, in all my life.

Wokeness parrots of a fringe religious order continually sides with whatever twisted, and delusional, agenda barak hussain obama pushes forward. This is a Biblically ignorant religious order that stood with obama, and “damned” actual Christians that adhere to traditional marriage and family realities. This is a religious order that has arrogantly taken it upon itself to “police language used” (https://www.christianpost.com/news/grace-church-school-defends-inclusive-language-guide.html). The episcopalian order – as well as the NWO beast, barak hussain obamamay call themselves Christians … but neither Elohei, nor real Christians know them: the order, and the beast, are bastards in the truest sense of the word.

Who, in their right minds would want to live in a world where nothing is realistic?

Babies are being murdered wholesale.

Toddlers are being assigned gender mutilations.

School children are being coached to deny their birth sex, their given names, told their parents/grandparents no longer exist, and that marriage is a perverted joke.

And they can’t even turn to the Church … because 99% of churches in America are government owned organizations, denying God – and the 1% real Christians left, have been cowed into silence and labeled by obama and the US Military as ‘domestic terrorists’.

No wonder kids are being driven to suicide!

Their identities (names, skin color, lineage) have been erased by demonrat political assassins; and their parents are allowing it, because they are afraid of being labeled ‘uncooperative’.

They have no where to turn … and hope for life based in reality, has been snuffed out.

We, in America, are living in a politically-instigated-twilight zone-nightmare scenario; ignited by a fledgling NWO in the 1960’s, flamed into a perverted rampaging wildfire; when barak hussain obama was illegally seated, in 2009 (and again 4 years later) – and that has become a delusional raging inferno in 2020, with obama’s 3rd coup: the majority of House seats of our Congress – AND MILITARY BRANCHES -  have been seated with cancerous obamanites who have been rendered mad with the political maggots eating away at what little rotten gray matter they ever had.

It is blatant craziness being displayed. 

Openly. 

From the highest seats in our Nation. 

Blatant “people of color” racists, and brazen islam embracing communists, eroding the foundation of America!

The wokeness culture has lulled people into a deep sleep state. 

And if Americans do not wake up, shake off the poisonous effects of the woke culture, and turn again to Almighty God and the Judeo-Christian-Faith (Messianic Faith) of our forefathers … and rein this obamanite insanity in; it will destroy America, and inevitably, the world, at large.

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

PLANNING 2021 ADVENTURES

The morning was cold and frosty; so, it was another day indoors, for me.

I started on another preemie baby blanket … and ended up pulling the entire skein of yarn apart to untangle the factory tangled mess:

It took me hours to untangle the skein of knotty yarn ...

Because the yarn had been so mangled in the factory when it was spun into the skein, there were a few broken bits of yarn along the length of the wound yarn – and those were the culprits. But, I did have to snip the yarn in two places to unravel it successfully; and those snipped ends will have to be spliced into the blanket as it progresses, so it will not be finished smoothly.

And that annoys me. 

I like my work to be completed nicely.

After the yarn was thoroughly untangled, and rewound … I decided to unwind myself by going online and doing some research on places of interest I hope to visit this Spring/Summer. At least one road trip jaunt will be an overnighter – and maybe another, also.

Low key St. Patrick's Day.

As I researched, worked a route out, and figured milage … I was getting excited for the day-tripping kickoff date 😊

Online researches for Spring-Summer Daytrips.
Planning a few overnight Road trips, too.

Feeling energized with optimism, and emboldened by encouragements, I smiled as I worked on the 3rd preemie baby blanket, I am making for charity donation.

MOD Preemie baby Blanket. Blue & White.

I can’t wait for Spring to arrive! 

New hope. 

New babies. 

New adventures. 

And nothing, nor anybody, is going to trip me up.

Those thoughts followed me all the way down the hallway to the bedroom, where I am going to start reading another enjoyable Sackett novel … while waiting for the Sandman’s star dust to lower the lids of my eyes 😉

New read & backstory.

Monday, March 15, 2021

SNOWFLAKES, RAIN, & BLUE SKIES

Yep – that’s the kind of day it’s been today: 30-degrees in the early morning hours, with frosty rooftops; snowflakes (teeny, but they were visible) around 10 AM, and sporadic rain … all making an appearance, with a blue-sky background.

I guess this last Monday of a quickly fading Winter wanted to go out with a bang 😉

Woke up to 30-degrees and frost after a 70-degree weekend.

There were other snowflakes showing themselves, too; the kind of snowflakes that drift through life on two legs.

They aren’t as pretty as the snowflakes Yeshua designed and created for necessity; but they do always show up when they sense a change in the air … and they ride the chilly undertone of the environment.

These kind of snowflakes are basically worthless. 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05uc0AfUjdE)

They serve no viable purpose; other than to muddy the landscape of life, and stir up icy chaos.

It’s a good thing I am warmed by my Father’s love, and sheltered by my Husbands’ love, and grace.

My Faith is my blue sky 😊

On another note; Friday, I bought a new pair of jeans … but because of the demonrat nonsense concerning covid, there were no dressing/fitting rooms open. The size was right: the pant leg length was not.


This style jeans, is pretty much all there is to buy - I did, but I don't like it.

Apparently, this is all that is available on the shelves – jeans with shortened legs length.

This “style” of jean may appeal to younger people; but it is not very flattering on a curvy Grandma. I don’t like the style … and I am sure, even in my youthful years, I would not have bought them. But, I am stuck with them, so I will wear them.

Unhappily

The only other alternative is; to fork out more $$ to replace them, and have the store trash them because under “covid rules” returned clothing has to be destroyed – it can’t be placed back on the shelves to be resold.

I hope, that at some point, before the Grim Reaper comes for me; life will regain some sense of normality.

I’m just done with all of the political snowflake madness.

Really d.o.n.e.