GOOD BODY STUFF

It’s been a good day.

 Even pain-wise 😉

The pain I am currently dealing with, and … the recurring pain from those heart-breaking 106 days, the tail end of 2018.

This morning, I woke up thinking of everything that needs to get done this week: garbage out, and back in again; pick the mail up/pay bills; Thanksgiving – either at home; or at my SIL’s (still undecided – my leg will be the deciding factor, come Thursday).

While I was mentally running through the week’s itinerary, I slowly shuffled down the hallway to the kitchen to make a cup of tea …

Green Tea w-Ginger; 3 to 5 cups of green tea, daily, will reap the most health benefits. 1 teaspoon of ginger is the maximum in any day of the week – in any form. KNOW your body: the use of ginger is harmful to some people with underlying medical conditions.

Back in the bedroom, and sipping the fragrant tea, my mind went back to today – 2 years ago.

I had been at the hospital with Bob.

He had arranged for me to have Thanksgiving with Merry’s family … but I begged off because I did not want to leave him. He had been so violently nauseous, and was having his stomach drained. I didn’t feel like eating; nor was I in a celebratory mood. I didn’t want my mood to hang over his sister’s family gathering, so I stayed at the hospital with Bob.

His stomach wasn't even handling basic, bland nourishment. He was basically starving.

Those nose tubes were so uncomfortable.

Bile drained from his stomach.

The day before, I had just left the hospital, and shut the car off; when my cell rang.

I was relieved when I heard Bob’s voice, instead of the doctor.

Bob said "You left too soon; Dr. Chen just called and said I am going to OHSU Sunday to have a stint put in my pancreas."

So I called the hospital back and talked to Dr. Chen. OHSU has indeed accepted Bob and have reserved a bed for him Sunday with a scheduled surgical procedure Monday.

The hitch was that Bob may decide not to go.

We really didn't know how to feel.

On one hand, Bob had waited months to get the 'GO!' to OHSU; on the other hand ... he was not a well man – seriously not well. So much so that Dr. Chen was pushing him for a blood transfusion at 6 a.m. that morning; which he refused: to which she replied, "Then you will go into heart failure". And if he agreed to go to OHSU, he would get the transfusion in the operating room while undergoing surgery because it would be a necessity given his current condition. He was not happy about that. Blood transfusions carry serious risks of Hepatitis, AIDS, Syphilis, Shock, Hypertension, and Heart Attacks. Bob felt (and I agreed) that getting the transfusion could’ve been more harmful than what he is already going through. So, everything at that moment rode on what Bob decided.

The kids felt he should go.

His mother and siblings felt he should go.

Bob was not so sure anymore.

He had been having mini heart attacks all week and administered metoprolol to bring his heart back to a normal rate: going under anesthesia could’ve killed him during surgery. It happens. And like I said, Bob was extremely fragile health-wise. He was also tired of {medicinal help} that was doing more damage to his body than good. And he was worried about how we are going to pay for all of that: the ambulance ride from the hospital here to OHSU in Oregon ... AND BACK AGAIN, the procedure itself will be done by top notch surgeons – that will pack a top notch fee, and add to that the cost of a room at OSHU for at least 3 days or more following the procedure.

After talking with Dr, Chen … and with Bob, again; I shut the phone off.

And spoke with Yeshua.

During that horrible time of suffering, anger at a frustrating situation, confusion due to conflicting diagnosis’, unending questions, loneliness, and well-meaning, but always misleading pep talks that always ended up failing us … Yeshua never let us down.

Never.

Yeshua never failed us; not once – though it may have seemed that way to anyone watching us go through that horrible time.

But …

Yeshua is on call 24/7/365.

He listens without comment.

He comforts without unrelated comparisons.

He doesn’t interject the struggles he went through.

When Yeshua says, ‘I am with you in this, you are not alone”, He means it.

He doesn’t just say that as a social courtesy: though He may say that to a million people all at the same time, on any given day, I can rest assured, knowing that Bob and I were/are His primary concern all day long, for as long as necessary: He doesn’t have to punch a time clock, He doesn’t have to run home to a spouse or a family, and He doesn’t need sleep.

Yeshua is there … whenever, wherever, for however long it takes.

Yeshua, though He took on a human form 2053 years ago, for a limited amount of time … He is not human: Yeshua is infinite, and He can be all things to everyone at the same time.

So, I knew that when I called out to Him during my darkest hours in 2018, He was immediately at my side.

And when I asked “What do we do, now?”, He calmly embraced me, and whispered: “It’s okay – I have it all under control; just relax, and let Me handle things. All you have to do is trust Me.”

WOW

For someone like me; who finds it very hard to trust anyone, about anything, His comfort and His comforting words meant a lot! It is comforting for me to know that when I have reached the end of my rope, and the knot I sit on is slipping … He never lets me fall, because He never fails me.

When my world tilts, and I find myself in a whirling freefall, He is ‘on the job’ – and always sends my guardian angel to catch me before I hit the ground. Then He whispers, “It’s okay; I have it all under control. Just relax, and let Me handle things. All you have to do, is trust Me.”

And I do.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iukRJ9Wnr6A)

I have trusted Elohei since entrusting my life to Him in 1965.

And I can truthfully say that even though the fall and Winter months of 2018 were the darkest days of my life, heavy with gloom and deep sorrow; I could confidently trust Yeshua with every nano-second of every day.

And Bob trusted Yeshua with his life, too.

So.

I did what Bob told me to do before I went back to the hospital: I paid off the car … and the Visa balance (then, I handed the card back to the Bank). Bob wanted those things out of the way before his transport to OHSU over the weekend.

Plans were made with Bob’s son, and his sister Merry, to take turns driving me to and from OHSU/home because I wasn’t in any frame of mind to jet back and forth between the two states; and I loathe city driving, in general.

We were not clear then, if Bob would actually be coming back home as an out-patient, or back to a medical facility for follow-up care, or (I could barely wrap my thoughts around the possibility of the next thought!) … to Eden Valley, where his remains would rest with his grandparents, and father: we always knew that was a real possibility.

These are the songs I played for Bob throughout the night, while we waited for the transport:

All my tears -Selah (lyrics)

Selah - "Wonderful Merciful Savior" (Official Video)

The Lord is My Shepherd - Keith Green

Keith Green - Oh, Lord You're Beautiful (Live)

Vince Gill, Alison Krauss, Ricky Skaggs – Go Rest High On That Mountain (Live)

The Isaacs. He Never Failed Me . 1994 ( Our Style Live )

When God Has Another Plan by the Greenes.wmv

God Still Answers Prayer by Karen Peck & New River

Angels in the Room [Live]

It is Well With My Soul, Jars of Clay

The Valley Song - Jars of Clay

Jason Crabb - He Won't Leave You There

Jason Crabb - He Knows What He's Doing

He Knows My Name-McRaes LYRICS

This morning, I decided to have another cup of tea before tackling the day’s tasks.

Green Tea w-Lemon Peel; just all-around-GOOD for the body 😉 3 to 5 cups of green tea, daily, will reap the most health benefits.

Today is Garbage Day.

Normally, it’s not a big deal.

But ‘normally’ does not normally include a sore hip and a bum leg.

Gimping down the porch steps and eyeballing the distance from their place under the carport, to roadside placement for pickup – I wasn’t sure I could do the distance twice … one back and forth trip for the recycle bin, and one back and forth trip for the garbage bin: 4 trips.

Normally that would not be a big deal.

Today, I wasn’t sure I could do it; once … maybe. Which bin would be the one to be shifted?

Then, I mentally slapped myself up alongside the head, with a chastisement: “Snap out of it, Val! Bob went to work every day, fighting pain (all his life he battled back/leg pain) … you only have to walk a few feet, for Pete’s sake!”

I could hear the echo of Bob’s voice encouraging me.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StdKjLwOIwI)

Walking back to the carport, I noticed the driveway was getting littered with falling leaves; they will just have to stay there a while longer.

And closing the distance between street and porch, I stepped on a large screw next to a tire.

I was thankful then, that I had carried through with the day’s task!

Leaf strewn carport. And it can stay that way until I feel up to sweeping it ...

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBn5aIfZElE)

Good sized screw by the front tire; this thing would have done some serious damage to a tire!

I ate a quick lunch, made another hot tea … and went to lay down, and watch a movie.

I wasn’t in a lot of pain, but I do want to keep inflammation backed down, so I am taking periodic breaks – so not ‘normal’ for me.

But if I want to enjoy life, I have got to slow down.

Slowing down is good body stuff 😊

While watching the movie, I decided to make a cover for a worn cushion I use in the car (I’m a shortie – gotta have ‘a lift’ 😉):

Car cushion I am making a cover for.

It's showing its age ... its body is coming undone, like mine.

Crocheting a cushion cover in the round - which will enclose the cushion as I work.

Around Suppertime, it was raining so hard I thought hail might be falling: there was no hail, just heavy raindrops.

And the pain (due to the periodic rests, and teas) had backed down so significantly that I missed my 10 PM prescription – and glanced at the clock to see 10:40!

PRAISE GOD!

Oh, I pray that when the prescriptions run out, so does the pain: please, God.

That would be good body stuff 😉

IT’S ALL UPHILL

“It’s all uphill” is a phrase that can be taken 1 of 2 ways …

For the time being, ‘it’s an uphill battle’ is daunting, and it doesn’t seem like an encouraging prospect.

On the other hand, ‘it’s all uphill’ can be a good thing, because better things/happier times lay ‘just over the horizon’: it’s good to keep a positive outlook 😊

Challenges can make or break us – I will never be broken; so, the only other option is to let the circumstances and situations of the past 23 months … including this painful physical event ‘make me’: I can do that 😉

I purposefully cull people who use their fear to browbeat me into their way of thinking – I DO what is BEST FOR ME. Regardless of what others may think.

I believe in the power of prayer/divine healing; if people can’t respect that … they gotta go.

My mantra the last few days is, “Pray healing in; breathe pain out”: I plead the blood, and reminded Elohim that I am healed by Yeshua’s stripes. Of course, neither Elohim, nor Yeshua, need reminding … but I needed the affirmation; so, I quoted the Scriptures, and stood on them.

Pleading the blood is not begging Elohim to do something; the something has already been done.

Pleading the blood simply means I am actively activating the promise of my healing by the sacrifice price Yeshua paid 2020 years ago; it’s my statement of absolute faith I have in Calvary’s purchase through Yeshua’s eternal love for me – I am greatly loved, and highly favored … and I rely on Yeshua, as my Husband to provide for my well-being: spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

His blood spilled so freely on Calvary, is better than any insurance the world system has to offer!

I have lived my life like this since 1965; Elohei has never let me down.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjYnyz42mHQ)

Job 1, Isaiah 53:5, Jeremiah 17:14, and Mark 10:52.

I refuse to live life as a handicapped cripple.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6CJrGjATII)

Bob didn’t – and I won’t.

So help me God.

There is power in the blood; blood is the lifeforce – it fortifies … and even hospitals infuse blood as a purifying agent to the body.

I choose the blood of Yeshua.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NErE5B2-3-4)

I have been lying in bed most of the past few days, to soothe the inflammation, and allow my body to fully recuperate. I’ve done research for organic and holistic alternatives to prednisone and ibuprofen: and it’s doable. Also, have been thinking of ways to modify and alter my lifestyle to manage the pain … and that is doable too, without too much alterations.

I’ve always been operating at turbo-speed, now I need to slow things down a bit.

Laundry adjustments, yesterday afternoon ... just turning the laundry basket upside down, and folding things on it, eliminates the need to bend and fold; right now.

One immediate change that came quickly to mind, was to call my BIL and ask him if he wants the rain barrels – they gotta go. Bob bought them for me in 2017, and built me stands to place them on; for my garden area … and it will be hard to part with them because they were love gifts to me from my husband; but man-handling the stands, setting the barrels up, and hauling lots of buckets of water back and forth between barrels and raised beds will exasperate this new issue. So, they gotta go.

He’ll take them, and they will have a good home. He also said he could lay a layer of pea gravel down for me along the length of the raised beds, so I will have an easier time gardening: the bulky river rock is nice for landscaping but it is hell to walk on. I was thankful he offered to do that (I had no idea he would even go there 😉); he is a good man, like Bob.

My prednisone and ibuprofen schedule is 10 AM & 10 PM; and I’ve been laying flat on my back, massaging my left leg until 10 AM, when I can medicate the pain … this morning, when I woke up around 5 AM, I decided to walk around every room in the house despite the pain (I need to keep my joints limber, and the blood flowing in my leg veins): being totally bedridden is never a good thing, as it breaks the body down in several ways that can lead to other medical complications. I also drank a cup of green tea with honey.

Green tea helps reduce inflammation in the body; I had a cup this morning before I dressed and went downtown.

I did another lap around the house – and noticed the pain had backed off enough that I was not checking the time every 20 minutes 😉

Elohim is faithful.

I had medical forms I had to fill out and get approved, so I drove into town, to the hospital to drop them off … only to be told, the department I needed no longer operates at the hospital; the paperwork has to be mailed in, or faxed into the regional Office, in Vancouver.

So, I mailed the forms in. 

Post Office Lobby line; Longview.

At this point – after walking all around my house twice, driving into town … then making numerous laps (and burning gas by the $$ making those laps) around the hospital building to find a freed-up parking space, and walking uphill (a NO-NO! the doc warned me against) to get onto the building (all other hospital access routes have been fenced off with chain-link security fences); my leg was starting to burn, and there was no way I was going to further run all over town to hunt a fax machine down!

But I was peeved: I had asked Danielle, at this time last year, if the hospital was going to go into shut-down mode – and she said “no; the hospital will always be operational, and this department will always be here”. She flat-out lied. And I knew it because it was obvious then that the hospital was running on a skeleton crew, and half the Financial Department has already been shifted to Vancouver. Now that department is totally gone.

Longview is dying.

insleeze has destroyed the economy with the stupid and ridiculous political demonrat agendas that are not rooted in reality; fantasy is not reality. Prison towns and welfare states do not generate financial securities – and qualified doctors refuse to work here: we were told by concerned doctors in ER, before Bob was moved to OHSU in 2018, that good surgeons would not even consider coming because there was no money to be made here. I was seriously pissed and gave the hospital a good piece of my mind – Bob was too critical, and he would not have survived the ambulance drive to Salem. That doctors would put $$$$$ ahead of their Hippocratic Oath is scandalous.

Doctors really do believe they are gods.

The only ‘doctors’ that work here are a triage skeleton crew: basically, field doctors. Anything serious – like Bob’s condition, and they will be honest and tell you they are out of their depth; sending critical patients to Vancouver, Portland, or Salem.

Most do not survive the trip.

Which makes my petition for divine healing all the more pressing.

And, if it be Elohim’s Will for my life … I will be: Elohim has already healed me of shoulder bursitis in 1987; and scoliosis back pain in 2008; and night blindness in 2016. So, when this intense pain - like noting I had ever expierienced before; flared up 12 days ago, fibromyalgia did come to mind: and I rejected that thought!

Fibromyalgia.

Scoliosis.

I will not live my life in fear; any type of fear.

So, when the doctor assessed the pain as ‘age-related’, I was actually relieved.

And I knew I could deal with that 😉 

I’m actually not fat – I’m in the ‘safe zone’ weight-wise for a 5’2” Senior woman. But I do want to shed at least another 10-15 pounds for my bone’s sake.

It’s no surprise to me that I am aging; I only have to look in the mirror … or at my skin that is losing its luster and elasticity: I didn’t notice these things before becoming a widow, because Bob always told me I was his ‘beautiful lady’. But in the course of 23 months/9 days/8 hours & 37 minutes, my hair has been significantly glitterized with an abundance of silvery shine – and my skin is showing wear and tear (which has been accentualized by the weight loss 23 months has wrought). Aging doesn’t bother me … it’s a natural course of life.

What does bother me though, is racking up a huge ER Bill just to be told that my body is aging.

DUH: I am 64. 

I just didn’t expect the breath-sucking pain. 

I’ve always taken care of my body: I was unprepared for the physical searing.

I’ve out-lived my mother’s parents, my father’s mother, and my mother … I had nothing to draw on, concerning old-age issues.

When I got back home, the pain had backed down enough that I swept the floors that had been ignored for the past 12 days (my military upbringing was making me feel like a guilty slob) …

… and I pulled the Fall decorations, replacing them with Christmas decorations … nothing fancy or intricate, because I don’t want to set my healing backwards; just quick, simple, and easy on the body switch-outs 😉

Christmas Cornucopia.

I made this wreath to celebrate Christmas in our new home – I had no idea that I would be a widow at Christmas time in 2018.

( https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2017/11/away-we-go-and-ho-ho-ho.html)

Wreath & Seasonal Coir mat is all I am doing for Christmas 2020: it is enough this year.

I pulled the little dolly hauler, Bob bought me for my Bazaar Circuits, from the shed; and placed it in the car. It will tear up the steps … but it will save me from this intense pain.

I made 2 wreaths for our new home; 1 for each entry door. Hanging them every year is bittersweet now.

( https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2017/11/holiday-anticipation-in-full-swing.html)

Front Porch; that's it for this year.

Christmas Ducks; nothing fancy, but a little festive 😉

I also received news that I have a traveling companion! I know this person, and we will have good times together.

We are already making tentative plans for the Spring of 2021 😊

I have a GOOD GOD!

At the end of every day, I know I have a good life.

And I have good people in my life: I am blessed and thankful.

TODAY: HOSPITAL VISIT CONFIRMS I AM AN OFFICIAL SENIOR CITIZEN

I have been suffering with hip & leg pain for about 10 days: the past 2 days I couldn't even get out of bed for more than 5 minutes before slinking back to lie down flat.

Well ...

Today was the day the hospital confirmed to me that I am an official Senior Citizen 😉

It's going to be an adjustment 😂🤣

The adjustments won't be major - just tone things down a bit (example: instead of intense hiking ... do low-impact).

Bob lived with pain all his life; intense pain from spina bifida (not open, just there in his spine), sciatica, and a broken thigh bone that never totally healed properly (though it was a miracle the surgeons even managed to save his leg from amputation).

But stuff like this is scary when you are a solo lobo - and you don’t know WHY you are in pain.

Leg pain woke me up around 2 AM … I walked down the hallway, and saw fog hanging over the Park: it reminded me of those horrible early morning “missing Bob” drives I made in 2018, to the local hospital before deciding to pack a duffle; and camping in Bob’s room.

By 9 AM, the leg pain was so bad, I called my SIL Merry, and asked her to drive me to the hospital to find out WHY the pain was so intense: she came without hesitation.

Bob & Merry; August 2007.

I went to the hospital straight from the bed, in my pajamas … and I didn’t care.

The pain was that B.A.D.

A couple of X-rays – and a Cortisone shot – and I could move without wanting to scream … or rip my leg off and throw it across the room.

Waiting for my release papers … and trying to make sense out of the Doctor’s assessment.

A guesstimate concerning the problem: nothing definite, but an age-related-clue.

A guesstimate clue was given that will probably send me to the Poor House if everyone (Admittance receptionist, 2 attendants, 1 Doctor, 4 X-rays/X-ray Technician, Cortisone shot, Prednisone tablet, Diagnostics, Paper printing) wants their $$$$$ up front.

I racked up a hefty hospital bill just to be told I am now officially a Senior Citizen.

I don’t have insurance – and I won’t be old enough for Medicare until next year, when I turn 65. I don’t know what to tell them all when they bill me; other than “stand in line”.

Non-narcotic pain relievers: $18 for everything. Hopefully when they are all used up, and the inflammation is relieved … the pain will have subsided enough to be manageable in the future.

My ‘Vitals’.

I should have these vitals’ statistics tattooed to my forehead so the people freaked out about covid CAN SEE that I AM FINE. I will not kill anyone by walking around without a freaking mask … 

Disc Info

Sciatica Info