HOLDING TIGHT TO MEMORIES

Anniversaries are moments that mark the landscape of your life: 1^st Date Anniversaries, Wedding Anniversaries … Death Anniversaries.

Tonight, would have been my 48^th Wedding Anniversary, if Bob had not been called Home.

Though Bob was ready and willing … taking that marriage leap was a huge deal for me. I couldn’t afford to anticipate, expect, or rely on anyone – all that involved trust … and trust, at all points in my life sans Bob, had been seriously broken.

Bob had a high wall to scale.

But he did it; he patiently, and systematically broke through my reserves and proved to me time and time again that he was trustworthy. And so was his unconditional love. He (and it) never wavered: even to his last breath, he was proving to me – and verbalizing to everyone else – his love for me.

My faith in his love was never misplaced; or shaken. And I never gave him reason to question my love for him.

Our love was the real deal.

For four decades.

Bob’s loving embrace always made me feel safe.

Protected.

Beautiful.

Worthy of love.

Completed.

The loss of his comforting touch could have left a devastating hole in my life – had I not been so thoroughly, and faithfully loved for 44 years before his spirit stepped off this Earth.

The touching never stopped – until his breathing stopped.

The memories of our life together still evoke safety, and protection.

Bob’s love still burns bright in my life.

The old dovetails comfortably with the New.

I love you, Babe.  

Always ~ OX

BOB; THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ~ 3rd Solo Anniversary

Wedding Pic; August 27th, 1975.

Just some thoughts, on this Anniversary Date. 

“Someone to Give My Love To”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CorGosCFzMw

It doesn't matter that he is no longer here - or that We has slipped a notch to Me.

I was not Bob's 1st Wife, but I was his only Wife.

Bob was not my first lover - but Bob was always the only man I ever loved.

Before I ever met Bob face to face; I had seen him from a distance and was immediately in love with him ... for 7 long years, I would close my eyes, and speak to him in a thousand silent ways.

And, even now - nearly 3 years after Bob ... I still close my eyes and speak to him in a thousand silent ways.

I have tried for the past 11,680 days to build a new life: maybe some day I'll "get it right".

And ... maybe not; that's okay, too. 

I'm getting by - and that's more than I anticipated as 2018 waned and 2019 dawned.

“If You Get There Before Me”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK-0vfsFzB4

“When I’m Gone”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcpjSMmWUDw

When Bob and I finally met face-to-face in the Spring of 1974, there was no awkwardness: it was as if we'd always known each other. We understood why we were never really satisfied with anyone else: our souls had been searching for each other. As Summer drifted towards Fall in 1974, we "sealed the deal", and were joined hip & soul for 44 happy, and eventful, years.

“Keeper Of The Stars”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3ZEekN2hfE

There were 5 unexpected moments in our 44 years - meeting, marrying, the birth of our children, the births of our grandchildren, and Bob's graduation to Heaven. ALL of them unexpected ... and yet, the best memories of our life together. 

“Because You Loved Me”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_9QtL-L16o

Bob was a mystery until Fate brought us together.

Bob was the risk that my mother tried to talk me out of.

Bob was the most certain thing I'd ever known in my entire life - marriage was the gamble Bob talked me into taking; it was the greatest gamble of my life ... and it paid off

I never regretted marrying Bob, at 17. 

Our lives were destined to be joined.

Bob was the missing piece that made my life, here on earth, complete.