I LOVE YOUR SMILE

Montgomery Gentry - 'Something To Be Proud Of' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2J2Fm0JQCbs)

Smiles are such a small thing.

And a really BIG "thing".

There are people that can light up your life just by being in your life; my new family are those kind of people. I am blessed to have them in my life :-)

We haven't seen anyone's smiling faces but our own for a little over a week: I have been dealing with a shingles outbreak, and Holland has been wheezing with chest congestion, so we put everyone on ice for a while.

I have been missing the smiling faces :-(

So, I was glad for yesterday's text:

Ties that bind ...

The shingles outbreak is clearing up and calming down (the itching was the worst of it!), and Holland's breathing easier too - a day with smiling faces would be very welcome.

Family time; maybe Mark will come next time.

Lunch was fun: the food was delicious, as always. Conversation flowed smoothly, and was sprinkled with newsy tidbits. Quick bursts of uninhibited laughter filled the space around us - I grabbed my camera to get a couple love shots; Chrystal's smile is quick and easy ... Holland is camera-shy and shot me a {don't you dare} look, but I just laughed and managed to coax a smile out of him followed by a fast click of the phone camera ;-)

Chrystal; Holland's cousin. First my friend ... now my sister. I am blessed.

Relax & smile, Luv - I take a LOT of pictures, and YOU will be my main focus moving into our future :-).

Bad English - 'When I See Your Smile' song:

 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkjqYqW_r-c)

Smiles are such a small thing.

And a really BIG "thing" ;-)

RYDERWOOD ~ Day 2

All of yesterday evening, after I got back home from Ryderwood … and spoke with my internet service and cell service … the house in Ryderwood kept pricking away at my subconscious: even well into the wee hours of the morning.

Most of the early morning hours were spent weighing the pro’s and con’s of the internet situation out there: at the end of the road.

Before I caught a quick catnap before the sun came up, I’d made up my mind to give that house a chance and deal with the internet issue by driving back to Ryderwood and quizzing residents about the actual internet service – instead of assumptions of what I knew about Qwest CenturyLink from decades ago: we’d had a horrible time with their service on Sparks Drive in Kelso, and finally ended up cutting ties with Qwest, and signing with Comcast; a server that has been good with us … and very helpful to me in my solo lobo life.

But, as I stated yesterday on this Blog … Comcast will not run service to Ryderwood.

That being the case, I wanted to find out everything about CenturyLink in Ryderwood, as that is the primary server out there. I needed to find out how the service has progressed over the passed time; if it has.

So, when I woke up this morning, I waited until 8:20 AM – and shot off a text to Shay; telling her the house wouldn’t leave me alone, and I’d still like to do a walk through (even though yesterday afternoon, I’d said it was off the table). She knows me, so I think she was kinda expecting a text like this 😉

She has been a good friend to me.

She has been very patient with me.

She understands me.

She knew Bob & I, as a couple.

She knows me as a solo lobo.

She has remained a part of my life.

She loves me – and the feeling is mutual 😊

Shay and I had already had plans to have lunch at the Country Folks Deli at noon – to enjoy each other’s company, share our lunch hour, and to finalize the paperwork for the sale of my house here at Heron Pointe.

I arrived at the Deli earlier because I wanted coffee to jolt my system into wakefulness before Shay arrived, and finishing touches to paperwork commenced.

While I drank my coffee, and read a few paragraphs of my new read, Edgar Winter’s ‘Frankenstein’ was playing in the background: it made me smile – and as weird as it may sound … it gave my heart an encouraging lift 😉

Backdoor entrance to the Country Folks Deli; I prefer a booth in the back.

‘Frankenstein’ song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSLP1FCREBA

Excited about doing a walk-thru at the house tomorrow.

And I thought of Bob, too, as I waited for Shay – who had texted me that she had scheduled a walk-through tomorrow; for the house that has been badgering my thoughts 😉

This move I am planning would not be happening, if not for Bob – and his absence in my present life.

Bob taught me, as a new Bride, how to get comfortable with the math I hated – and he stressed was important. I learned to keep the checkbook up to date, and the Bank Statements on target. I learned to budget, and squirrel $$$$ away in Savings for those lean months where the work contracts were scarce, or the woods were shut down due to weather or fire danger. I learned how to increase the monies Bob trusted solely to my care. I learned how to spend that money wisely, so we were never in the red with big ticket purchases (vehicles, houses, ect.) – things may have gotten a little tight at times as we treaded water, but our heads were never under water.

We had a good life.

Bob’s confidence in me, carries me today.

And Bob prepared for his eventual death, too, from Day 1 of our married life.

A logger/truck driver’s life was not an easy life; and some loggers died on the job site: Bob signed several Beneficiary Papers, as a hedge against the day he would no longer be walking beside me this side of Heaven.

Those hedges are a bittersweet help to me in my new Solo Lobo Life.

I am able to move forward to a new home because of those precautions Bob set in place when we were young and full of life, love, and hope.

Our life together ended 31 months ago: but the love and hope, continues.

It is up to me, now, to make my own way in my new life.

And Bob’s hedges are going to get me to the country 😊, even though he never wanted to live the country life with me. Bob was a country boy who grew into a man that loved the right lights if the city (big city/little city; it didn’t matter).

Bob’s first wife was a city girl – and Bob lived in Longview, and spend a lot of time in Portland, from 1968 to 1973. When we married in 1974, we lived in small towns and suburbs on the skirts of cities (Bob was good about keeping me as far from the citified portions as possible when we set up house in various locations).

Because he loved me, Bob gave me as much country as he could (trips to the mountains, looong country roadtrips, homes in countryside settings, ect.), that when he wanted a retirement home in Heron Pointe, I agreed; even though it was too ‘citified’, and restrictively confining.

‘Bright Lights, Big City’ song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJ26_x48hJk

Moving here killed him.

And since December 14^th, 2018, I have honored his last request to ‘keep the house, Val.’

But now, it’s time to move forward: I need a new start; in a new home, in a new location.

I want a home in the country.

And even though Bob no longer walks this Earth – he and the love he always lavished on me, is gonna help me accomplish that 😉

After Shay and I spent an enjoyable hour together, and she left with the finished paperwork … I drove back out to Ryderwood.

I was a woman on a mission 😉

I want my move to go as smoothly as possible: no matter where God leads me.

Drove to Ryderwood again this afternoon to quiz people there about CenturyLink Internet.

If Elohim is leading me to Ryderwood, I will be thankful: but, I will also do research before I sign on the dotted line.

There is much to like about the area.

There are also concerns; the internet connection being the primary one.

3 Internet Servers, and a HOA Fee for road upkeep.

I’ve quizzed several residents – the accord is that CenturyLink is the Server most utilized in Ryderwood; with the ‘yays’ outnumbering the ‘nays’ of those quizzed.

I also called my granddaughter, Alyna, to ask her opinion on Server gigabytes … and she was more interested in Servers: CentryLink won her approval over all those mentioned that serve that area.

So, I’ve done the research – and I’ve gotten the answer I was seeking.

If the house walk-through goes well tomorrow (I will be skipping my Naselle Coffee Hour with friends, there), Ryderwood will be my new home.

Life can be good where the blacktop ends 😊

‘Wildflowers’ song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRKS8Nd-SjA

Wildflowers are hardy plants that thrive in adverse circumstances.

I’ve suffered adverse circumstances since August 30^th, 2018, that resulted in the tragic loss of my husband December 14^th, 2018.

But Bob, even in the most dire of situations, never allowed his life-sucking circumstance to destroy his upbeat mindset – he faced his medical prognosis’s with faith and humor … and, in faith, he walked into Heaven with Yeshua’s arm around his shoulders. I was there with him 24/7: of that, there is no doubt.

I have learned throughout all my life, not just those trying hospital months, that everyone suffers tragedy at some point in their life; you can either wail, wrong your hands, and let tragedy overwhelm you … or, you can dry your eyes, determine to live despite the sorrow, and learn to fly above it all.

I’m learning to fly.

‘Learning to Fly’ song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-LsnQPwHzI

‘End Of The Line’ song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVjToYOjbM

STANDING ON MY OWN

Slipping into bed last night, I got to thinking about the distance from Kerry’s home in the foothills of Mt. St. Helens … to my house here, at Heron Pointe: until I drove that highway myself, I didn’t fully realize the distance.

And I also got to thinking about how self-sufficient I will become when I get my new home in the country.

So, I decided that I’d start standing on my own – starting with hanging that foyer mirror 😉

The trouble is not with hanging the mirror, itself: it’s more to do with finding the studs behind the wall, and securing screws in place to hold the weight of the mirror.

Kerry, like Bob, knows how to do that by tapping on the walls and listening for the sound vibrations that tells where the studs are. Also, Bob would automatically just know by determining how the house was built – that would tell him exactly where the studs were placed.

I don’t know any of that.

So, I asked for help: and would watch, to learn.

But, last night, I decided that I would just have to cut Kerry some slack in his Good Samaritan mercies, and learn by jumping into the fire and hoping I don’t get burned 😉

Reroute for Naselle Coffee Hour; canceled Friday plans.

Beaver Creek Road from Heron Pointe; via WA-4 W - 19 mins.

Beaver Creek Road drops onto the Elochoman Road.

Naselle from Beaver Creek Road, off the Elochoman Road; via WA-4 W - 48 mins.

This morning, before pulling out of the carport on my way to Naselle, I called Kerry and told him I’m grateful for all his help … but “I need to figure this man stuff out for myself”.

And I do.

When I get to the country, I’ll have to be self-sufficient.

I need to figure this 'man stuff' out, on my own; if I plan on moving to the country.

I want to be self-sufficient: I once was.

I do not want to do what other widows do: get married to have a man on hand to get things done.

I am capable of getting my own stuff done.

My confidence was crippled, and my gray matter was sputtering with misfires all of 2019. I missed Bob so much I lost sense of who I was without him. My life and body missed Bob so much, my brain was running interference with the missingness, by shutting down my thought process when the missingness was overwhelming.

Widows and widowers got that; others didn’t.

I appeared addle-minded.

But I was really in survival mode.

My life started getting on track all of 2020.

My confidence was strengthened, and my brain didn’t have to run interference with my thoughts anymore: I was more engaged in the moment to moment happening of a daily life unfolding.

I wasn’t asking for help so much.

My life was making a comeback 😊

With the dawning of 2021, I was back in the swing of things.

Life is humming along – I like that.

I want to keep up that momentum.

So, last night, I decided that I needed to up the ante in getting back into the swing of things. I am not a stupid woman – if I don’t know something, I can learn: and using a stud finder is just as good as tapping on the walls.

I gave all Bob’s drills and drill bits to Alex and Kerry because they were just too darned heavy and bulky for my hands and wrists. But, I can buy smaller drills; heavy enough to get the job done – yet light enough to use, without causing pain to my wrist joint.

I’m pretty sure I can get both at Lowe’s, in town.

By leaving early, and driving over Beaver Creek Road, I made good time in getting to Naselle 😊

The day was a beautiful blue-sky-day, despite the smoke on the breeze: though everyone coughed a little now and then, it wasn’t enough to hurt the lungs or make breathing a painful burn.

On my way back home, I made a detour to Eden Valley.

Eden Valley from Naselle; via WA-4 E - 25 mins.

I’m not carrying on a convo at the cemetery anymore; but when I have big decisions to make, or weighty things on my mind … I will drive out there, and just sit.

I’m not going there as often as I was – that’s a bittersweet growth in my forward movement.

‘Til I Can Make It On My Own’ song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHycUpawWh0

It comforts me – I know he’s not there; but there is a connection of sorts, there.

I miss Bob’s calm and soothing presence; his cremains are there. That knowledge, is enough to help me sort my emotions.

Everything was manicured nicely.

I miss his voice; I miss our conversations – though I cannot hear Bob’s voice anymore … I can remember what he sounded like. I can recall the advice he gave then – and would give now if he could.

It’s oddly relaxing to just sit there: it is helpful at times.

Leaving Eden Valley, I turned onto Barr Road. It’s a nice country drive. As I was driving along, listening to Bad Company, a sign caught my eye as I passed it …

Barr Road from Eden Valley; via Eden Valley Road & Altoona-Pillar Rock Road - 14 mins.

This was not on Barr Road on Sunday, when I drove through.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!

I braked – and backed up, to be sure I saw what I thought I saw.

I snapped a pic, and jetted it off to my realtor to be checked out.

Turning off Barr Road, and onto the Covered Bridge Road, I had to brake and back up again!

Again, I snapped a pic and jetted it off to my realtor; to see if we can learn more about it and find out how available (as in price range) it is.

These houses won't last long, so we gotta strike while the iron is hot.

It's been 3 years since the last one was posted.

This one is on the Covered Bridge Road ... both are surprising; real estate here is very rare.

Covered Bridge Road from Barr Road; via Barr Rd & Covered Bridge Rd - 5 mins.

I glance at this house on the hill every time I drive through – I’ve never seen it for sale before; the locale is perfect: I’m waiting on a price quote.

I was feeling pretty excited, and hopeful – houses for sale here is pretty rare. Graysriver is the area I hope to relocate to, but seeing house for sale is rare: most people sell privately to people they know. Outsiders (aka: not born there), like me, find finding a house there very difficult.

But, I have been praying.

And hoping.

I am standing on His promises.

And Elohim is showing me He is listening 😊

Even if neither of these houses pan out for me … I know that Elohim is hearing me; and if it is His Will for me to live in Graysriver, He will make a way for me to purchase a home there.

There is no doubt – on my part – about that.

Before I turned the Highlander towards home, I decided to drive to Aunt Frieda’s home and ask if she or John might know anything about these houses: who they belong to, where exactly are the flood areas when Winter arrives (both houses are on hills, so the house itself, would be safe). The houses listed surprised her too, so she went on a driving tour with me. We agreed the house on The Covered Bridge Road would suit me best, if it’s meant to be.

If not, she’s agreed to keep her ear to the ground for other possibles.

And I know I can count on Elohim to clue me in when the right one comes along 😉

Beaver Creek Road from Covered Bridge Road; via WA-4 E - 30 mins.

Heron Pointe from Beaver Creek Road; via Beaver Creek Rd & WA-4 E - 27 mins.

I followed a motorcycle all the way from Mill Creek Road to Longview. My heart was in my throat because there was a kid on the back; looked to be about 7 or 8 yo … and very active. He kept wiggling around to look at my car – and the cars behind me: I mean, he was turning his whole body around, not just his head.

What was the driver thinking????

Kids riding in cars have to wear seat belts!

Other than the flimsy helmet the kid was wearing, there was no protection for him at all if that bike tipped, due to all his constant crawling all over the seat.

It was stressful to watch.

This made me nervous - the kid was fidgety; I stayed waaaay back away from them.

I was glad to get away from that disaster waiting to happen, and park in the carport.

I made a salad from garden gleanings: tasty greens (salad and beet leaves), crisp carrot slices, scallions, cucumber, purslane, parsley; nasturtiums, violets, and homemade salad dressing.

Supper Salad.

SO YUM 😊

After Supper, I reviewed my monthly household budget; crunched the numbers, and though I don’t have an accurate quote yet on what I can realistically sell this house for … I am relatively confident that I can buy a decent home in the area I am aiming for.

On my own.

Standing on Faith; and praying for a hefty down payment.

Today was a good day; full of love, hope, and encouragement.