Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Thursday, April 2, 2020

AVOIDING HYSTERICAL DEATH TALK



Death is part of life – there 2 cannot be separated: we ALL begin to die as soon as we exit the womb.

I have never been afraid of death – and I am not afraid now.


Death does leave its mark on our lives; and there is no getting around that.


For ME, at this moment in time in MY life … I choose not to focus on the {what ifs} death scenarios everyone else is focused on. I am dealing, every minute of every day with the REALITIES of death’s fallout in my own life: I am not going to get caught up in the {what ifs} fear-mongering hysteria everyone is wanting to pull me into.




That someone – AS WAS DONE YESTERDAY AFTERNOON – would actually say to me that I need to educate myself because I have no idea what it’s like to watch someone die; AND I don’t know how death affects a family … is outrageous! Of all the nerve!

From September 1st, 2018 to December 14th, 2018, I WAS BY BOB’S SIDE WATCHING his spirit slipping away from me. I WAS THERE AT HIS LAST BREATH. I will NEVER be able to erase those final moments from my thoughts. Bob’s leaving was peaceful, but it was HARD to say goodbye: Bob was my entire world; he is the love of my life. My entire family nucleus fell apart in 10 months’ time … I think I KNOW “how death affects a family”.


People have lost their minds.


People have become arrogantly intrusive in MY life – barging through it like they own it, and insisting I follow their demands. People are too fueled by their self-righteous self-importance. Especially those who have now been pinned with the ‘hero’ badge. They are NOT ‘heroes’ to me … and they are behaving very badly. Real Heroes do not call attention to themselves – and they do not intrude, or stomp all over someone else’s life like a dictator.


I do not want to hear any more about coronavirus.


I am still reeling from the physical death of my husband – I am still trying to adjust to the abandonment of my immediate family – I am NOT going to have people caught up in fearful hysteria browbeating and lambasting me because I do not respond to this virus outbreak as they think I should.


I am sorry if that comes across as “a bitter bitch” or “an unmitigated asshole”, but the {what ifs} death scenarios shouted at me from media sources (which I have stopped watching), thrown in my face by FB Pages (which I rarely visit anymore), as well as from people who SHOULD KNOW BETTER because they “were there” with us every step of Bob’s leaving … these fearmongering scenarios mean nothing to ME compared to the loss of my husband’s presence in MY life. I refuse to feel guilty about that feeling. I also refuse to go down that road hedged with paranoid fears: I am too busy juggling my OWN emotions following a death in MY OWN life. I am not responsible for juggling everyone else’s emotions, or feeling the fears in their lives.


Death is part of the package of life – yin and yang concept.


I post MY Life Journey on MY Page; if that is offensive to you, you are free to leave. You are NOT free to tell me what I can – and cannot – post on MY Page.


STOP talking to me about coronavirus.

I don’t want to hear any more about it.

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