Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Thursday, November 19, 2020

THE CHANGING COLORS OF MY LIFE

The dawning of today was filled with birdsong and highlights of Fall color.

Noticing the dawning of that color, I sat up and took notice all around me 😉

Peripheral vision.
To the back of the house – looking towards Coal Creek.

And a song popped into my head ...

Which led to other memories/other songs.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWkXmx-0phc) 

Memories of the Spring of 1974: making love for the first time – not just jungle sex, but making love, pouring ourselves into each other. 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUpNxxkkaBQ)

Memories of fading Summer of 1974, on the cusp of Fall: making a lifetime commitment to each other; joining our lives/hopes/dreams together and vowing to stand by each other “no matter what”.

Sealed with a kiss of lifelong promises; Wedding Night – August 27th, 1974 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMk-Qdajf3M & (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VplLt39yrk)

Mid-Fall 1974: Doctor confirmation of what Bob had already assessed … as we watched the Fall leaves change color, we looked forward to welcoming our baby as the world popped with Spring color.

Memories of Fall 1975: A family was established.

Fall 1975. Bob, Me, Stacey & Alex.Bob had been married before, he came to me in 1974 with a 4-year-old son – our union added an infant daughter in May of 1975.

Memories of the Fall of 2018: watching the color of my life slip away with the waning of Bob’s earthly life. Wondering how I could go on living without Bob’s love coloring my world … and listening to Bob tell me to “live, Val”, when it became glaringly obvious that he would not.

November 7th, 2018: Bob, in local Peace Health ER: coming to terms with impending physical death, and making me listen while he laid out his wishes for cremation. I went into the hallway to cry … and bolster myself emotionally & spiritually to be “a rock” for Bob, when a Chaplain was paged.

Hearing – and doing what he told me to do, in preparation of his leaving me, and his fleshly vessel behind (close the IRA – pay off the car; mentally get used to him no longer being here; keep the house; go forward to build a new life without him in it).

November 24th, 2018: Finally made OHSU in the afternoon; I was thankful that Bob had a private room. The room was so fancy, we laughed and joked about OHSU being “Hotel Hilton” while our hearts were breaking as we faced an eternal separation there seemed to be no escape from.
November 30th, 2018: OHSU ICU Room; Bob was there 3/4th of his entire time at this hospital complex

Camping in Bob’s hospital rooms, and OHSU’s ICU Ward room; and standing by his bedsides – looking at him, and holding his hand: not wanting him to leave this life, alone. Needing to infuse all of him into my being, on a deeper level.

My little corner 'home away from home' ... cramped & not very comfortable; but, at least Bob and I were together.
Bob’s ministering earth angels: I will always be thankful for these caring and loving women that went out of their way to make Bob’s last days as comfortable as possible. Barb, the front nurse, was a gem. I loved her because she loved Bob. Everyone always loved Bob ... he was a loving, and lovable, person.

Watching Bob’s spirit leave this Earth … and trusting Elohei to get me through the darkest days of my entire life.

December 6th, 2018: Bob on breathing tube after the failed cysts drain. We both knew at this point, that he was not long on Earth. We always faced this situation hopeful ... but grounded in reality. We were both prepared for whatever lay before us.
December 14th, 2018 – Bob’s final hours.

Memories of the Winter of 2018: feeling desolate, and no longer seeing color in my life; in the world around me.

Memories of Spring/Summer 2019: realizing, and welcoming friends I never knew I had. When news of Bob graduating from this life to the next was made known … these loving people, who knew both of us, stepped out of the shadows (some came to visit, in person – some encouraged me every day on FB; some called), and came forward to help me learn to fly with the wings Bob gave me.

The wings Bob bequeathed me with, were not broken, as some would assume – they were just unfamiliar: I had not flown solo for 44 years.

My steadfast friends became the wind beneath my wings.

At times they literally lifted the drooping wings and bolstered them with their own strength, while I limped along; adjusting the weight on my own shoulders, and learning to wing flap against the winds of change.

At times, they cheered and ran alongside me … as I gained confidence, and started fledging in flight: hesitant at first to leave safe ground, then soaring into unknown paths and new horizons.

There were many false starts, and awkward beginnings: but my new friends never made me feel stupid, or too heavy to carry until I could ‘wing it’ on my own. I am thankful for their compassionate love, and steadfast encouragement.

Memories of Spring/Summer 2020: Coming to the conclusion that cold winds of death can cause people to fall by the wayside – some I expect to die on the vine, to drop and fade; some I had hoped would be evergreen, and hang around for the long haul: finally coming to the conclusion that all the life I was immersed in, no longer exists: all the leaves in my life had withered and died on the vine … and blew away – one way or the other.

Today’s Clean-up Crew … fits the day's post ðŸ˜‰

I learned to broaden my horizons, and gathered evergreens; planting them into the garden of the life I am building now.

Fall 2020: Not where I want to be – yet; but I am getting stronger every day 😉

I can look out my window and see color in my world, again.

That’s a huge difference: I am healing ðŸ˜Š

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