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Friday, April 19, 2019


Today I started exercising again – after Bob’s spirit left his body December 14th, 2018, I pretty much stopped doing everything that required me to think. I did not want to think; thinking always took me back to December 14th watching my husband take his last breath. I did not want to keep reliving that moment. So after I came home, everything I did was simply done by rote: I went to bed, I woke up, I made coffee, I drank coffee, I walked down the hallway to the bathroom, I did laundry, I washed dishes, I cleaned house (sparingly), I drove into town to deal with the Social Security Office moronic minions (and held my temper until I left the building), I checked in on FB/checked out of FB, I checked in on my Blog/checked out of my Blog … and in between these sporadic actions I cried. And cried. And cried some more. For m.o.n.t.h.s.

Then one day I decided that I needed to get more proactive and do what my husband would want me to do: LIVE again. Active living. Living that required thinking – and doing.

First off, last month I drove onto town and bought bags of soil and filled the empty gardening boxes my husband had built for me (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/03/yesterday-was-very-busy-day-here-house.html); that action was invigorating and encouraging as well as bittersweet. Then I ordered gardening seeds and started indoor seeding trays (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/whirlwind-daysabbath-break.html) – which have taken off; and some even had to be repotted, they got so leggy (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/repotting-day.html). Many are starting to show secondary leaves now :-D Soon they will be ready to go outside in their permanent homes.

I noticed the birds at the bird feeder again: they were hungry. I had not fed them since October 2018. I drove into town and grabbed some bird feed (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/monday-monday.html). 10 minutes into town and back is a safe drive - my yo-yo-emotions could handle that.

The other day I started feeling crowded and knew I had to get out of the house – 4 months is a long time for me to stay in 1 place; when Bob was still here, we did monthly daytrips: the last daytrip we took was in July 2018 before Bob ended up in ER (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/12/goodbye-2018-welcome-2019.html): I needed to get out of the house or I’d start climbing the walls. So, I got dressed and drove into Castle Rock, a small country town about 45 minutes away. I had had a hankering for one of their fancy mixed green salads I used to buy in the store there for weeks and decided spur-of the-moment that now was the time to try the drive (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/04/a-little-further-down-line.html). Since December 2018, I had only driven 10 minutes into town and back home because I didn’t trust my emotions to drive any further; the drive to Castle Rock was refreshing and relaxing. I was glad I did it. And in my mind’s eye I could see Bob smiling his sexy smile and giving me a thumbs up ;-)

This morning I woke up and decided I needed to regain my physical health too. I have been eating healthy and taking care of physical appearance (mostly because I don’t want people watching me to get seriously concerned if my physical appearance stated matching my emotions) …

But I was noticing that my physical strength was slipping: no small grandchildren around anymore to lift and shift - and the granddaughters aren't having children. I haven't been walking either because of all the pollen in the air. And all those months of inactivity following Bob's graduation to a better level of life really set me back in physical strengths.

So it was time to ramp things up a bit and start buffing my lax muscles up ;-)

I know geriatric exercises aren’t much of a “ramping up”, and they certainly will not lead to being be "buff", but at 62, the laid-back and low-stress exercises  are helpful. And being a woman alone now, I don’t want to jump into the vigorous exercises I used to do and wreak my body to the point of needing medical attention/intervention – that would be stupid.

These exercises are low key and they work … I am already feeling the burn.

And that is a good thing :-D

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