MY MIGRAINE HAS CANDY’S NAME ALL OVER IT …

This headaches started building early Saturday morning, around 8 a.m. or so when Ron boldly skirted past my planter boxes up front and took a short-cut through my front yard to his jeep parked on the street, which is in park violation 10.2, that the rest of us have to adhere to or get a pink notice about. When I get company, or even just have someone pick me up, I have to back my car up further into our carport to make room for the 2^nd car. Every homeowner – according to Park Rules – has to park 2 cars in the carport before they can utilize on-street parking spaces. Ron and his bunch have never adhered to this rule as long as we have been living here: Ron parks his vehicle across the street from our driveway and consistently cuts across our front yard to get to and fro from his vehicle.

I suppose that since this rule is about real people breaking real rules instead of hypothetical and paranoid vegetable and fruit trespasses, Candy is oblivious to the rule and will not enforce it. She is already lying about dealing with the issue ...

Mind you, Ron is the one that put the trespassing ball into action with his petty paranoias last Spring and Summer … yet he does not think that that complaint should apply to his own trespassing offenses. And after Saturday’s response from Candy, meaning her quick and annoyed refusal to do anything about it: “Well, Val, I am not at home at the moment”, it was clear that she did not intend to do anything at all about it. Ever. She didn’t see it happen, therefore the issue does not exist. Even if she did see it, she would not do anything about it.

Classic Candy.

She wants the title of Park Manager with all its perks … like free space rent and being hailed by her pals as a little god, but she does not want the actual J.O.B. that required d.o.i.n.g.

And Ron Cook knows that Candy Scott has focused ALL her attention on focusing on ME, and he has ramped up his cockiness and nose thumbing: he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he is rebelliously harassing me or boldly ignoring Park Rules – he behaves as if the rules do not apply to him or those in his immediate inner circle.

I had company all day Saturday, and they can vouch for my truths that Candy is ignoring and denying.

That is WHY I document EVERYTHING, such as videos of activity that Candy refuses to acknowledge or deal with.

I really do not like talking with Candy about anything, at any time. She disgusts me with her easy lying ways – her lying only devalues what she says and highlights her lack of character. And when she comes to the belated understanding that her lies are falling on deaf ears, she then will start talking over you, raising her voice and ramping up the speed in which she will talk over you, or talk around you; and when those tactics do not work … she will dodge the truth and abruptly break off all communication and end the conversation with a defining click in your ear. She will never talk with you because she gets lost in her head once she scraps reality and starts down those rabbit trails of inconsistent lies.

So I record everything anymore when dealing with that unscrupulous woman. After the morning call which left me with the beginning of a nagging migraine, I recorded the interaction on the phone for record. If this thing ever does end up in court, her office phone records can be subpoenaed; in which case they will back up my recorded recounting 100%.

Well … I was on the phone with her … and couldn’t reach her face. But the mental images gave me some satisfaction.

Chronic, habitual, psychotic liars bring out the worst in me. I have never been able to tolerate a liar – and I am having a real hard time reigning myself I when I have to deal with Candy Scott. So after the phone call ended, I cried my frustration out because I hate feeling trapped. And I can’t stand Candy.

Then I dried my face, and got busy making bread.

I do not want to give hate a place in my life; but that woman does tempt me in that direction.

Help me, Yeshua!

I should have a couple of real nice loaves when they are finished, because I really slapped and kneaded the hell out of that dough – imagining Candy’s face while doing it. Peggy Quigley, the champion bread baker of Cathlamet, told me once that the best way to make a great loaf of bread is to rough it up while kneading it. It really works.

My bread dough got a workout a few minutes ago ;-)

It may not be a Christian attitude, but like I said a few posts back when dealing with Candy then too: that spawn of hell just sucks all the goodness right out of me.

Not only did she unashamedly lie to me this morning, but she has not been truthful – NOT EVEN ONCE – since she took over as manager, and started hassling everyone in the Park; so much so that half the park packed up and LEFT as soon as she became manager. She lied about the black mold issue next door, she lied about the rain barrels being unlidded, she lied about the planter boxes being illegal, she lied about the movement of the planter boxes, she lies about talking with Ron: she lies to lie! Lying with this woman is a serious mental illness.

I suffered a shingles outbreak in June 2018, Bob ended up in ER fighting for his life in August 2018, and I was a widow by December 14th, 2018 ... all due to stress overload from these 2 evil twins, Candy and Ron.

And the harassment continues. Over petty shit. Fueled by unchecked egomania.

Ron Cook is a cocky little troll, but Candy actually worries me – she has lost touch with reality and believes the lies; she is seriously crazy. She truly believes that if she speaks it, it becomes fact: she creates her own reality and does not know how to deal with REAL realities. And I think that is why she comes at me with so much frustrated angst: she knows that I know she is not who she puts forward. I don’t know why she feels the need to lie to me about anything and everything, but I do know that she knows I don’t buy any of it. And that knowledge throws her. Most liars think they can outsmart most everyone – but I have dealt with liars all my life.

And I do not tolerate a liar. The liars who try to pull a fast one with me usually find they have a tiger by the tail; and not a house pet either, but a tiger with teeth and claws.

I worked on these donation baby hats for hours on end with a clear view of the street out front … the street Candy claims she drove down in her husband’s blue pickup. L.I.A.R. Never happened except in her break with reality.

I had someone ask me earlier this evening, “Val, how do you deal with demons? Think of Candy and Ron as your tormenting demons and deal with them accordingly.” I suppose that is one way of viewing what has been happening over the past 10 months, and especially since August 2018.

And I do know how to deal with demons … I sic Elohim on them – they can’t bully Him; and if He is for me, who can be against me? Amen!

So as I post this and head off to bed with a raging migraine that has Candy’s name all over it, I am sic’ing Elohim on those two, and hopefully I will wake up to merciful peace.

And while I do know that as a Christian, I cannot expect a peaceful existence here on earth yet, I am really ready for some semblance of a peaceful life here at Heron Pointe to start kicking in …

2019 02 17 John Haller's Prophecy Update "When They Say Peace and Security"

THE BOOK OF ROMANS ~Chapter 6

THE BOOK OF ROMANS ~Chapter 6

Now, what shall we say? Shall we keep on sinning, so as to give more room for grace? Surely not! Since we have died to sin, how can we endure living in it? Do you not know that all of us who are baptized into Maschiach Yeshua were baptized into His death? In baptism, therefore, we were buried with Him into death, so that as Mashiach was raised from the dead by the glory of Elohim, we too should walk in newness of life. For if we are united with Him, as it were, by sharing His death, then we shall share His resurrection also and live with Him!

This we know, that our old sinful self was crucified with Mashiach, and so the power of sin over us was destroyed in order that we should no longer be slaves to sin. A dead man is no longer bothered by sin: for he is freed. And if we have died with Mashiach, we believe that we shall also live with Him. We understand that Mashiach rose from the dead; He will never die again. Death has no mor dominion over Him. The death He died was because of sin, and once for all. And the life He now lives, He lives for Elohim.

So you must also think of yourselves as having died because of sin, but you have been restored to life again to serve Elohim in Mashiach Yeshua. Therefore, do not allow sin to rule over your mortal bodies and make you slaves of your *lusts. Do not permit any organ of your body to be an instrument of sin, but rather offer yourselves to Elohei as men brought back from death to life, and let Him use the parts of your body as His instruments of righteousness. Don’t let sin be your master. You are now not under the Law, but under grace.

What then? Shall we sin because we are under grace and not under the Law? No, never! Don’t you know that when you submit to someone as master and obey him, you become his slave? This is so, whether it be in some act of sin which leads to death, or whether it be in obedience to Elohim which leads to righteousness. But thank Elohim, though you were once the slaves of sin, you now give wholehearted obedience to His standard of teaching which you were taught.

This has set you free from the slavery of sin and has made you slaves of righteousness instead. I use the language of daily life because human nature is still strong in you. So, just as you at one time yielded your powers to the slavery of impurity and lawlessness, always getting worse and worse, so now you dedicate your powers to the service of righteousness and sanctification.

When you were slaves to sin, you had no claim to righteousness. And what did you gain from those things of which you are now ashamed? The result of those things is death. But now you are the slaves of Elohim, set free from sin, and the result you gain is sanctification here, and at the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of Elohim is everlasting life together with Mashiach Yeshua, our Lord.

**ROMANS 5: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/02/the-book-of-romans-chapter-5.html

* Definition of lust

 (Entry 1 of 2)

1==obsolete

a: PLEASURE, DELIGHT

b: personal inclination : WISH

2: usually intense or unbridled sexual desire : LASCIVIOUSNESS - He was motivated more by lust than by love.

3a: an intense longing : CRAVING - a lust to succeed

b: ENTHUSIASM, EAGERNESS - admired his lust for life

==lust

 verb

lusted; lusting; lusts

Definition of lust (Entry 2 of 2)

intransitive verb

: to have an intense desire or need : CRAVE - specifically : to have a sexual urge

==First Known Use of lust

Noun

before the 12th century, in the meaning defined at sense 1a

Verb

12th century, in the meaning defined above

==History and Etymology for lust

Noun and Verb

Middle English, from Old English; akin to Old High German lust pleasure and perhaps to Latin lascivus wanton

BABY CHEMO BEANIES/Pattern & CREMAINS TRANSFERS

It is sad to even think that hats like these are needed … but, that is the world we live in :-(

So, not familiar with such things I did an internet search and found this pattern (https://dabblesandbabbles.com/crochet-caps-for-a-cause/), and worked up several beanies in various colors before calling it a night and heading off to bed last night: I wanted to get to bed early so I would be awake and alert anticipating a call from my older sister, whom I have never met, but am anxious to get to know :-)

This afternoon, after talking with Iris for about 2 hours – enjoyable hours – I received unexpected attention from 3 of my husband’s siblings (total surprises!); a call from his youngest sister Rosie wishing me a happy Valentine’s Day, a call from his youngest brother Kerry, wishing me a happy Valentine’s Day, and an impromptu visit from his younger sister Merry bearing Valentine gifts, and an offer to help me transfer Bob’s cremains from the plastic funeral case into the wooden Cremains box his middle sister Bonnie helped me choose December 14^th, 2018 while making funeral arrangements (http://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/12/widowhood.html). After all the attention from his siblings today, I am going to have to revise my assessments of them. Bob would be pleased to know that they actually thought of me today and reached out to embrace and help me today; he wanted his death to bring about familial harmony - and her verbalized that thought: maybe today is a small step towards that goal.

I am glad Merry stopped by and offered to help because I do not believe I could have done this alone … and the memory she shared made me laugh and that was good medicine much needed today of all days celebrating love and lovers – and my lover gone and love now a thing of the past:

I am keeping 1 Urn for myself to keep on my bedside table – it will be buried with my cremains when my name is called up yonder.

Tonight I am working on Preemie hospital hats - these things are very small and work up very quickly. I will post the pattern when I get them all completed ;-)

RIPPLE LAPGHAN PATTERN

Today I finished the 3^rd Ripple Lapghan – yesterday I delivered the 2 finished ones while I was in town, and this one will go with me when I am in town next time.

Here is the pattern: you can use any color combo you wish. It is simple sc throughout, and makes up real nice ;-) If you find it difficult to keep the increases and decreases straight in line, use a different colored length of yarn as a marker and carry it up the pattern, moving it up as you work it up: you will need 13 ‘markers’.

RIPPLE LAPGHAN PATTERN

Materials: Worsted weight yarn in colors of choice – 11 ounces MC and about equal amount of leftover yarns of choice; Size G hook; tapestry needle; scissors.

PATTERN: With MC, ch 238.

MAIN COLOR STRIPE - Row 1: 1 sc in 2^nd ch from hook, 1 sc in each of next 6 ch, *3 sc in next ch, 1 sc in each of next 7 ch, skip 2 ch, 1 sc I each of next 7 sc; repeat from * and end last repeat with 1 sc in each of 6 ch, skip 1 ch, 1 sc in last ch.

Row 2: Turn – skip first st, *1 sc in back loop of each of 7 sts, 3 sc in back loop of next st, 1 sc in back loop of each next 7 sts, skip 2 sts; repeat from * and end last repeat with 1 sc in back loop of each next 6 sts, skip 1 st, 1 sc in back loop of last st.

Repeat Row 2 twice, having 4 rows in first stripe. DO NOT CUT YARN … you will carry MC yarn up the backside of lapghan as you work it and pick it up to be worked with each alternating MC stripe. Attach new color. When changing colors, always draw the new color through the last loop on hook before turning work.

COLOR STRIPE: With color of choice, repest Row 2 of First Stripe 4 times. Cut color yarn and tie ends together lightly to keep from tangling in the MC being carried.

Alternate MC and Color stripes until there are 33 count 4 row stripes, with MC stripe being the ending stripe. Cut MC and tie off. Neatly weave in loose ends.

THOUSAND ISLAND SALAD DRESSING

I bought a Chef’s Salad yesterday while in town and decided to have it for lunch this afternoon, so I gathered all the ingredients needed to make homemade Thousand Island Salad dressing ;-)

I like making my own salad dressings – they taste richer and a lot better than what you can buy in the stores. This recipe comes from my Weight Watcher’s 365-Day Menu Cookbook.

1 cup plain unflavored Yoghurt * ¼ cup reduced calorie-Ketchup * 1 Tablespoon + 1 teaspoon minced Pickle * 1 tablespoon Mayonnaise * ½ teaspoon prepared Horseradish * ¼ teaspoon Dijon Mustard * Dash EA Salt & Teriyaki Sauce

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Chill.

FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH

Watching Steven Still's fancy footwork cut a rug, I can, in my mind’s eye see Bob when we went dancing :-D

Since this video has been blocked in this post ... I re-posted it in this post 
(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/06/for-what-its-worth_22.html)

Two different songs … two different musicians to entertain the 2 of us – My husband liked Steven Stills; I liked Neil Young. Our daughter told me the other day that she cried when ‘For What It’s Worth’ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp5JCrSXkJY) came on the radio the other day. She said she remembers her Dad singing that song in the car when the track came on. She misses him.

Last night I was working on the white lapghan I’m making for hospital donation, and happened to look out the window … and started laughing at what I was watching unfold:

This is something Bob would have done ;-)

It takes so little to entertain me :-D

I did not get the white lapghan finished last night – I worked on it, but I kept getting sidetracked by memories while listening to music. So around 1:10 a.m., I put it aside and went to bed. I don’t have much left to do on it, so it will get done tonight.

Despite putting my work aside and going to bed, I did not really sleep. I have not been sleeping well lately – too many restless nights and groggy days. No matter what I do to try to psych myself into slumber, I toss and turn and roll out of bed at dawn without an ounce of sleep to recall.

On top of my sleepless night, my laptop chose this morning to bust up … I lifted the lid and heard a sharp snapping and saw piece fly off in different directions before hitting the floor. And I noticed the screen was twisted at an odd angle: the entire top had shifted out of place and it looks like the screen is pulling away from its backing to. What the heck?

How?

Why?

Now what!?

Broken hinge cover just shattered and flew every which way

Laptop top shifted and tweaked out of place

Laptop screen pulling away. Can anything else go wrong? I need to catch a break … and soon because I am barely hanging on.

That did it - the emotional dam broke and the floods started: I immediately burst into tears and cried like my world was coming to an end. And in a way it has. At that particular moment I really did feel like everything was falling apart – my life (http://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/12/inconviences.html), my home (http://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/01/when-it-rains-here-it-pours.html), and now, my link with the outside world (pics above).

I grabbed a pillow off the bed and screamed into it with all my might. Over and over again. I screamed out my frustration. I screamed out my loss. I screamed out my need. I screamed. And I screamed. I screamed until I was afraid I would rupture a vein. Then I put the pillow down and went into the bathroom to brush my hair and wash my face.

From the kitchen I could look out the livingroom windows and see that it was raining and the rain was dissolving the crusted snow. The outdoor temperature read 41 so I figured ice would not be an issue today, so I got dressed and braved the road to drive into town to the UPS Store to mail 8 pairs of slippers off, dropped by the local Hospital to hand over the 4 crochet donation blankets – 2 baby blankets & the 2 lapghans finished. Then I did some quick grocery shopping to add to my ‘just in case’ food/water cache to tide me through any further unexpected weather; and cried all the way home.

Looking back on the day from the get-go, I should not at all be surprised that I broke down and dissolved into tears at the grocery store Deli; I had a hunger for some Fried Chicken and Pea Salad for Supper. While waiting for the chicken to be boxed up, I glanced at the salads and remembered that Bob always liked the Deviled Egg Potato Salad – that memory started the waterworks that would not turn off. The lady behind the counter asked me if I was alright … I couldn’t talk; I could not stop the scalding tears that were free-falling down my face and dripping off my chin. I took my Pea Salad and chicken and left to finish up shopping with tears streaming down my face uncontrollably and a wet shirt front by the time I reached the check-out line. I didn’t even care that people were staring at me – the tears kept coming and would not stop.

For what it’s worth, I suppose this will be my new life and new norm now.

I hope and pray its value increases as time passes because right now it sucks.

I don't like feeling like this.

This is not the me I know me to be.