DIFFERENT vs FALSE

I went to Keenager’s again this afternoon. And again, the fellowship was a blessing and the sermonette timely ;-)

From start to finish the afternoon’s message was how to glorify Elohei in times of adversity – whether that adversity comes in a form of coming to grips with death (as shared in the Mission Moments update), or being wise in discernment: necessity of this necessity shared also in Mission Moments update and sermonette (1 Timothy 1:3-7) … both can lead to spiritual death if we are not paying attention to our walk of faith in/with Yeshua. As we are all Seniors, it is of the upmost importance to KNOW WHERE we will end up when our life here on earth is up. I know where I will be when my number is called, and I am pretty sure that I will hear what my beloved husband heard when he entered those Pearly Gates up yonder: but many do not. It is vital that Christians, especially aging Christians, stop fooling around and get busy getting about the business of their Father. To remain complacent is to die – figuratively, spiritually, and physically.

1 Timothy 1:3-7 – “When I was setting out for Macedonia I begged you to stay behind in Ephesus. And I still urge you to remain there so that you may warn those who are teaching false doctrines there. They should be asked to stop paying attention to myths ad endless pedigrees (genealogies), both of which lead to controversy. They should rather teach Elohei’s Plan, which is by faith. The aim of your instruction should be love, a love that issues from a pure heart, a good conscience and a sincere faith. There are some who have missed this mark by turning aside to nonsensical discussions. Some, indeed, pose as teachers of the Law, when in reality they neither understand the words they use, nor the things they affirm strongly.”

I really liked the way Andrew Nguyen explained that “different Gospel” does not mean “false doctrine”. A different Gospel so closely parallels the original Gospel; yet it is slightly askew – just close enough and sounding so right – that it will lead people astray as effectively as false doctrine. Only those walking closely with Yeshua will know that there is something “not quite right” with what they are hearing.

The songs chosen for the message were also good :-D I had not heard “Footprints of Jesus” before today, but I like it:

Footprints of Jesus

It Is Well with My Soul | BYU Vocal Point (A Cappella)

Second Chapter of Acts - Fairest Lord Jesus

The White Sisters - No One Understands Like Jesus

SWITCHING THINGS OUT

The first week of January I decided to brave the world and get out to meet people and make friends, even if just casual friends (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-prize.html): I am by nature a lobo – a loner; Hubs was my best friend and my entire world aside from 1 or 2 lifelong friends, who also passed years ago, and my children/grandchildren – but he is not here now, and there must be at least a few friends in my life until I eventually and inevitably join him. Our children and grandchildren live hours and several States away; if I get sick or fall and can’t get up, I would be comforted to know that there is at least 1 or possibly 2 friends who will be stopping by or calling me weekly to see if I am okay; a woman – especially a woman in her Senior years – on her own, needs all the help she can get. And I am going to be on my own from here on out. I did hear from Hub’s niece, Tiffany, this morning that she will be checking in and dropping by; I am thankful and appreciative as she does has nursing knowledge and medical skills if needed. You all know how I feel about nursing homes, and THAT is where doctors and hospitals send Seniors when they end up in their offices of hospitals for anything from a lingering flu onset or a prolonged illness: I do not want that. So Tiffany’s offer to help in that regard eases my mind considerably. Elohim will bless her for her considerations. I am not helpless, but life does happen; and always expectantly.

And I decided also to switch things out and rearranged the various rooms in our home. Hub’s son came up from Salem, Oregon to help me transfer the recliner from the TV Room Alcove down the hall to the livingroom; Hubs disconnected the TV service in October 2018 and I stopped watching TV years ago, so the point of that room is pointless now – time to switch things out. The hallway was tight, so we turned the recliner on its side and dragged it into place:

We are not couch/sofa people. And everyone we know prefers recliners also. I have had couches and sofas … even a sectional sofa … but they were always passed by when a recliner was in the room too. So this time around, we just bought recliners; and it suits

The room that used to be the TV Room Alcove; it is now just another spare room. For the time being, bins are stacked and stored there while I continue switching things out, but eventually this room will be used as another spare bedroom for overnight guests, or a drying room for herbs and certain veggies after harvest. You can take a girl out of the country, but you can’t take country out of the girl ;-)

The sad thing is that we still have stuff in boxes that has yet to be unpacked because 95% of the time we spent in this house since buying it a year ago, was ate up with remodeling it and making it the home we desired inside and outside to fit the life we lived – we had unpacked only what we needed as we worked at creating our living space thinking everything would be in its place and ready for the final unpacking/placement inside this past Winter once the planter boxes and rain barrels were in place outside: we had no idea what lay ahead of us. I have been procrastinating with the unpacking of those boxes and bins since Hubs graduated to a better and higher realm of living: but I really need to get to it, and just get it done.

This morning, as soon as the dawn broke, I went for a walk around the Park – about a mile from our driveway and back – then I pulled the coffee table too from the TV Room Alcove down the hall; and I’ll start my veggie/flower seeds here in the sunny window to be transferred to the planter box beds come Spring gardening season …

 River fog looks really close, but it is actually a mile or so away on the river beyond the back highway.

 

It is drizzling now with faint sunshine at 38-degrees outside, and I am working on crochet lapghans to be donated to the local hospital cancer ward – it’s the least I could do since the hospital paid all of Hub’s medical bills. From where I sit, in my recliner, our home looks very cozy and inviting …

 Working 2 at once to be sure they are exactly the same length

Hubs would have liked this view of the warm & inviting fireplace, from his recliner too. I am sure he is now smiling as he looks down from Heaven and sees the cozy changes: knowing that I will continue with the life we planned as if he were still with me ;-)

And now I have to get busy and get the Christmas stuff pulled and stored; I didn't get much put out this year because I wasn't feeling very festive, but now it really has to be taken down ... even the 12 days of Christmas has come to an official end. LOL

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ACTS ~Chapter 28

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ACTS ~Chapter 28

After their escape, they learned that the island was *Malta (Melita).

The natives were unusually kind to us. They made a bonfire and welcomed all of us to it, for there was a cold, drenching rain. And Paul, too, gathered an armful of sticks and threw them on the fire. As he did son, a viper crawled out of the heat and wound itself around his hand. When the natives saw the serpent hanging from his hand, they said to one another, ‘This man is surely a murderer, for, although he was saved out of the sea, justice will not let him live.’ Paul, however, just shook off the reptile into the fire and suffered no injury at all. They were, meanwhile, expecting him to swell up or suddenly drop down dead. For a long time they waited and watched, but saw no harm come to him; then they changed their opinion and declared that he was a god.

In this part of the island were estates belonging to the governor, named Publius. He gave us lodging and entertained us for 3 days in a friendly way. Now it so happened that the father of Publius lay ill with fever and **dysentery. Paul went to see him; he prayed for him, laid his hands on him and healed him. Because of this, the other people of the island who were ill also came to him and were healed. These also showed us honor in many ways and when we sailed away they supplied us with things that we needed.

We had stayed on the island for 3 months, then departed in an Alexandrian ship that had wintered there. It was called the Dioscuri, after the twin brothers Castor and Pollux. On our way we put up at Syracuse, remaining 3 days. From there we sailed around and reached Rhegium. A day later a southerly breeze came up and we arrived at Putcoli the 2^nd day. Here we found some brethren who prevailed upon us to tarry with them for 7 days. Then we went on to Rome.

 

The brethren there had had news of our coming and came out as far as the Forum of Appius and the Three Taverns to meet us. When Paul saw them, he gave Elohim thanks and took renewed courage.

When at length we reached Rome, the captain turned the prisoners over to the commander of the prison camp, whereas he let ***Paul live by himself with a soldier who had charge of him. After 3 days Paul invited the leading Jews to come together. And when they had gathered, he addressed them, “Brethren, I had not done anything against our people, or the customs of our fathers, yet I was made a prisoner at Jerusalem and delivered into the hands of the Romans. They tried me but found no reason why they should put me to death and were therefore willing to set me free. But the Jews objected to this, so I had to appeal to the emperor but not with the idea that I would bring a charge against my people. So the reason why I have asked to meet you and talk with you is this: It is on account of the hope of Israel that I carry these chains.”

‘We have not had any letters from Judea about you,’ they answered, ‘and not one of the brethren who has come here has ever reported or said anything bad about you. But we should like to hear your views from you personally. As for this new sect, all we know is that it is condemned everywhere.’ When they had set a day for him, a good many of them came to his house and he preached to them, explaining to them fully about the kingdom of Elohei and trying to persuade them about Yeshua, both from the Law of Moshe and also from the prophets. He continued from morning till evening. Some, indeed, were convinced by his testimony; but others remained in doubt. When they departed, still disagreeing with one another, Paul had the last word. He said, “The Ruach Ha’Kodesh was right when He spoke to our fathers through the prophet Isaiah. He said, “Go to this people and say, ‘You will her and hear, but never understand; and look and look, but never perceive. For this people’s hearts has grown fat; they hardly hear with their ers and they have shut their eyes: otherwise, they see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their hearts and be converted, so as to let Me heal them’ (Isaiah 6:9 & 10). Therefore, I want you to know that the Gospel of salvation from Elohim is now to be sent to the Gentiles! And they will listen to it!”

When he had spoken these words, the Jews left him, but continued the discussion among themselves. Paul remained 2 years in his own rented house and welcomed all who came to see him. He continued to preach the kingdom of Elohei and to teach about Adonai Yeshua Ha’Mashiach, fearlessly and unhindered.

**ACTS 27: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/12/the-gospel-according-to-acts-chapter-27.html

*Melita/Malta The modern Malta, an island in the Mediterranean Sea, about seventeen miles long and nine in breadth. It was colonized by the Phœnicians, and afterwards belonged to the Carthaginians, from whom it was taken by the Romans in the Second Punic War (B.C. 216). It is celebrated as the island on which the Apostle Paul was shipwrecked; though some writers erroneously suppose that the Apostle was shipwrecked on the island of the same name off the Illyrican coast. The inhabitants manufactured fine cloth (Melitensia, sc. vestimenta); and the lapdogs (catuli Melitaei) were much petted by Roman ladies. Cicero speaks of it as the home of pirates (Verr. iv. 46, 47), but himself often thought of making it a place of exile. The Ogygia of Homer is sometimes identified with Malta. In the fifth century A.D. it was taken by the Vandals, then by the Goths, and in 870 by the Arabs. - Harry Thurston Peck. Harpers Dictionary of Classical Antiquities. New York. Harper and Brothers. 1898.

Melita is celebrated in sacred history as the scene of the shipwreck of St. Paul on his voyage to Rome, A.D. 60. (Act. Apost. xxviii.) The error of several earlier writers, who have transferred this to the Melita on the E. coast of the Adriatic (now Meleda), has evidently arisen from the vague use of the name of the Adriatic, which is employed in the Acts of the Apostles (27.27), in the manner that was customary under the Roman Empire, as corresponding to the Ionian and Sicilian seas of geographers. [ADRIATICUM MARE] The whole course and circumstances of the voyage leave no doubt that the Melita in question was no other than the modern Malta, where a bay called St. Paul's Bay is still pointed out by tradition as the landing-place of the Apostle. (The question is fully examined and discussed by Mr. J. Smith, in his Voyage and Shipwreck of St. Paul, 8vo. Lond. 1848; also in Conybeare and Howson's Life of St. Paul, vol. ii. p. 353, &c.)

No other mention is found of Melita during the period of the Roman Empire, except in the geographers and the Maritime Itinerary, in which last the name already appears corrupted into its modern form of Malta. (Strab. vi. p.277; Plin. Nat. 3.8. s. 13; Mel. 2.7.18; Ptol. 4.3.37; Itin. Marit. p. 518; Sil. Ital. 14.251.) After the fall of the Roman Empire it fell for a time into the hands of the Vandals; but was recovered from them by Belisarius in A.D. 533 (Procop. B. V. 1.14), and appears to have continued from this time subject to the Byzantine Empire, until it was conquered by the Arabs in A.D. 870.

The present population is principally derived from an Arabic stock; but it is probable that the Arab conquerors here, as well as in Africa, have been to a great extent amalgamated with the previously existing Punic population. The inscriptions discovered at Malta sufficiently prove that the Greek language was at one time in habitual [2.321] used there, as well as in the neighboring island of Sicily; and one of these, which is bilingual, shows that Greek and Punic must have been both prevalent at the same period. (Boeckh, Corpus Inscr. Gr. 5752--5754.) The former was probably the language of the more cultivated classes, in the same manner as Italian is at the present day.

**Dysentery is an inflammatory disease of the intestine, especially of the colon, which always results in severe diarrhea and abdominal pains. Other symptoms may include fever and a feeling of incomplete defecation. The disease is caused by several types of infectious pathogens such as bacteria, viruses and parasites.

***Paul experienced a wide variety of prison conditions. He was chained in a common holding cell in Philippi (Acts 16:23-30), imprisoned in probably better conditions in the praetorium at Caesarea (originally signified a general’s tent within a Roman castra, castellum, or encampment: Acts 28:35), and held in relative comfort wile in house arrest in Rome (Acts 28:16). In Rome, Paul was responsible for maintaining himself during his imprisonment, including his meals and clothing (Acts 28:30). Paul’s Roman citizenship meant he was eligible for a daily food allowance, but Paul depended on his friends and fellow believers to supply his food. While under house arrest in Rome, Paul was guarded around the clock by soldiers of the elite Praetorian Guard.

THE PRIZE

Today I left the sanctuary of our home and ventured into the fellowship of a small group of people Bob and I used to spend time with; seniors like ourselves, and Christians – also like us. “Keenagers” meets every Tuesday for an hour of companionship (chit chat; gotta keep those vocal cords limber), potluck (a must as some seniors may not be eating healthy meals due to financial strains), missionary updates (always good to hear about ministerial updates from around the globe), a short sermonette, and singing of a few selected hymns (worship is a part if every Christian gathering … at least it should be: and is here). I asked Bob’s oldest sister to go with me today because she is struggling with his passing and I thought it would be good for her to get out and mingle too. She went … and plans to go some more :-D She kept telling everyone, “She is a rock (meaning me)” – I don’t feel like a rock, but I KNOW THE ROCK (Psalm 18:1-2), and THAT is what sustains me.

I went today because I am tired of sitting around and I wanted to get out of the house and find out if I could mingle with people on my own without Bob by my side – he was the people person, not me: I was more than content to stay in the background when we went places, but now I HAVE to get out ‘on my own’ and I needed to find out if I could without breaking down … I could, and I did even though I did have 1 weepy moment while singing the song, “Ivory Palaces” when ‘eternal home’ was sung.

Also, I wanted to let our friends know that Bob was now setting up home in our celestial home. Several people got emotional – they loved Bob; and they were concerned for me. But, I comforted them by saying that I am rejoicing that Bob is with our Lord now, and is no longer in any more pain. I also said that since he had died a second death in 1981 (the first was 1978 when a blood clot broke loose and caused havoc), we had lived with impending death for a long time and understood that we were enjoying borrowed time: we kinda knew that we would not get a 3^rd reprieve if and when his ticket was called again and that is why while asking for a healing we also asked for a speedy and dignified death if that was what was to be; we always let Elohei be God and we always bowed to His Will. No matter the outcome. I stressed that we were okay with that because in 1981 he had been granted, by the grace of Elohim, an additional 37 years of life we wouldn’t have had, had Elohei not been faithful and favored us with compassionate mercy. I believe that Elohim granted those 37 years because we were so in love and so much a PART OF each other; we were together constantly except when he was working. Aside from living for Elohim, we lived for each other; and everyone who knew us knew that about us – including our children, and sometimes that caused friction between them and us. Those years graced to us allowed us to raise our 2 children to adulthood and to be gifted 4 grandchildren born into our small family. We were thankful. And we knew where he would be going when he went: some people don’t know that and their sorrow is devastating. Not so with us; we sorrowed, then we regrouped and rejoiced! And in doing so, I am strengthened; and can comfort those who struggle with coming to grips with Bob’s passing from this life to the next.

The Scripture passage today was Philippians 3:12 thru v.15. It was a timely message. Since 1981, Bob “pressed on toward the goal to win the prize” and he obtained it December 14^th when he answered Heaven’s call to ‘Bob! Come home good and faithful son!’ And “all of us who are mature should embrace this point of view”. Amen. Like I said … it was a timely and potent message.

These are the hymns we sang today – I only knew ‘The Solid Rock’ … the others I had not heard until this afternoon. But I like ‘em ;-)

O for a thousand tongues to sing

On Christ The Solid Rock I Stand Lyrics

Take The Name Of Jesus With You

Ivory Palaces - A Cappella Hymn

ORANGE YOGURT SCONES Recipe

Squawking geese are flying south over the house and it is a chill 32 degrees outside, so I flicked the fireplace on for atmospheric warmth:

I probably should not be using this electric fireplace until I know for sure how the finances are, but I have been good with the $'s so far and I don’t think – I hope anyway! – that it will cost too much to use it for a little bit.

And I have a hankering for stew for Supper … which put me in the mood for these delicious tasting scones :-D

This recipe comes from Ann Holmberg, owner of the Country ranch B & B in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. It is a delicious breakfast bread, but I eat it with savory winter stews as I find the citrus flavors of the tasty bread blend well with the hearty spice & herbal flavored stews I enjoy ;-)

I use real fresh squeezed orange juice I do myself, and fresh grated orange peel I grate myself. From start to finish with this recipe, the house smells wonderful!

ORANGE YOGURT SCONES Recipe ~ Makes 8 servings

2 cups all-purpose Flour * 1/3 cup + 2 teaspoons Sugar * 2 Tablespoons Baking Powder * 1/4 teaspoon EA Baking Soda & Salt * 3 Tablespoons cold Butter or margarine * 1 carton (6-oz, or about 2/3 cup) orange or lemon flavored Yogurt * 2 teaspoons grated Orange Peel * ¼ cup Orange Juice

In a bowl or food processor, mix or whirl together the flour, 1/3 cup sugar, baking powder, soda, and salt:

Cut in or whirl in butter until mixture forms fine crumbs. Mix yogurt, peel, and juice; add to flour mixture and stir just until evenly moistened:

Remove dough from bowl and mound dough on an oiled 12 x 15-inch baking sheet (I used a round deep sided broiler pan). With well-floured hands, pat mound into an even 9-inch round:

With a floured knife, cut through dough to make 8 wedges; leave in place on sheet. Sprinkle with remaining sugar:

Bake in a 375-degree oven until scones are golden brown – about 25 minutes. Serve hot, or slide onto a rack and let cool until warm. Cut into wedges:

Per serving: 221 calories 22% (49 calories from fat); 4.2 g protein; 5.4 g fat (2.9 g saturated fat); 39 g carbohydrate; 529 mg sodium; 12 mg cholesterol

GOODBYE 2018 - WELCOME 2019

While the tail end of 2018 ended with sorrowful rejoicing, there were many happy and memorable moments before that awful day of August 29th that forever changed the fabric of our household.

Mid-January 2018 found us enjoying a very scenic, and very long roadtrip through the Gorge. There is place there on the backside of the reservation that is very wild and filled with ancient prehistoric landscape of towering volcanic spires and basalt rock outcroppings; my husband knew I loved this wild looking place: we shared it with our little grandson, that drive. The tail end of January found us on the road again – this time to Carnation, WA, which is famous for the Dairy that makes the Carnation Milk products. It was a fun spur-o-the-moment exploration & our grandson liked the cows.

In February we three walked the local dike and watched the otters frisk and the ducks splash; we even saw a fuzzy-wuzzy. Rosy Finches visited our bird feeder and we finally got snow on the 18th, but Hubs took us up the Toutle towards Mt. St. Helens anyway, because the snow was much deeper and he knows I love snow. I helped our little grandson build a tiny snowman.

March ushered in Spring with a Robin sighting, and I got 2 of my longed for rain barrels: had I known then that THAT was what would send Candy over the edge and lead to my husband’s eventual death, I would never have gotten them; but hindsight is not foresight. So now I have the barrels, but I do not have the love of my life. We also enjoyed 3 mini vaca's to Richfield’s Wildlife Refuge, where we three enjoyed the wildlife and oohed and awed over the snow white swans; the NW Flight Museum in Olympia; and we also visited the Veteran’s Museum in Centralia - where Bob and our little grandson enjoyed sitting in the various aircrafts and playing with the cab doodads. All very interesting.

In April we did several more dike hikes to watch the ducks and our little grandson threw ends of my homemade bread to them so they came real close to the riverbank and gobbled the bread before it sank; my husband scouted for turtles and pointed them out to us. The end of April found us at the Seaside Aquarium in Seaside, Oregon watching the clowning seals, and laughing as our little grandson barked happily with them - then we three enjoyed a sunny walk on the boardwalk.

The month of May was busy with many dike hikes to observe the baby ducks; and at home, grandson and I eagerly watched the bird house Hubs built and placed outside the livingroom window – there was a swallow family being set up there and we waited with baited breath for the first sign of baby birds: however, it was not to be; for reasons of their own, the couple abandoned the nest in the birdhouse and the lone egg I found later never hatched. We took a day off from household chores and drove with our little grandson, to the Portland-OR Zoo. Then a week later I started a garden in the few planter boxes my husband had built for me in the Fall of 2017, and I made a little tiny scarecrow out of a pair of little Batman PJ’s that had glow-in-the-dark-outlined bats on them and hung them from a shepherd’s hook screwed securely in one of the planters boxes: we wanted to see if they would glow in the night. THAT upset the neighbor, Ron. So now there are TWO things happening that will eventually lead to the August 29th showdown on the front porch that will subsequently lead to a trip to the local ER which will end at OHSU in Oregon. Small and petty grievances that will cost a life and leave a huge hole in our family tapestry. But … we didn’t know that; we were enjoying our life. We didn’t know that these would be the last experiences and adventures. We thought we would have many, many, more years together while making these memories.

Still ignorant of the festering eruption building on the Homefront, June found the three of us on an over-night roadtrip around the Olympic Peninsula where we enjoyed an entertaining and adventurous roadside tour of the exotic animals in the Olympic Game Farm in Sequim, WA: our little grandson got a bang out of seeing, hearing, and interacting with the various wild animals – especially the buffalo that came to our windows begging for treats. And we drove to Neah Bay to view the beautiful Native American artifacts in the archaeological and anthropological Makah Museum where our little grandson was awed by the lengthy skeletal remains of a whale hanging above our heads; and on our way home, we also made time to check out the wild and beautifully scenic La Push too, which is part of the Quinault Indian Reservation: Hubs had wanted to go there for a long time, but something always cut into the time and it got put off … I am glad now that we made the time and did it. It was worth it and I am glad he experienced that while he could still experience life. Later in the month, we also drove to Lake Tipso, which lies between the Mt. Rainer National Park and the Wenatchee National Park … but we couldn’t walk around the lake because the late season snowpack was too deep; so we just enjoyed the snow and came back home thinking we would go back later – like in August, or September. That never got to happen.

July we traveled to Trout Lake via the Cougar access to view the Osprey  nests, view Trout Lake with Mt. Adams in the background, and visit the Cedar Creek Grist Mill on the Lewis River in Woodland on the way back home. The Osprey nests were no longer on the ends of the bridge where they have always been, Trout Lake is disappearing; but we did have an awesome view of Mt. Adams, and we did see several colorful moths and butterflies, so the day was not a total bust.

In July my husband built me the rest of the planter boxes I need for a full garden harvest, and I designed/planted a wrought iron sedum planter stake, and Hubs set it in place. He installed 2 more rain barrels for me, which gave me a total of 4, to see me through the gardening season with rain water gathered; it rains a lot in Washington, so these will rarely be dry – now every time I look at those planter boxes, the rain barrels, and that sedum stake now, I will remember my husband doing these things for me because he loved me. And I will refuse to allow the neighbor’s pettiness and the Park manager’s ignorance to rob me of that happiness. Had I known that my husband’s thoughtfulness would rob him of his life, I would gladly have sacrificed the want to garden. We still made time to do short hikes along the dike where a large Blue Heron was in residence.

It was at the end of August that our world began to crumble: Ron ran complaining to Candy with nonsense; and little hitler showed up … and as it goes with all pissing wars, the rest is history. My husband ended up in ER; and in and out of hospitals for the next 4 months. And he never came home, alive, again. September through December 2018 was a nightmare as I came to grips with the reality that my husband was not going to be coming home.

September through October, I spent every day with him at St. Johns hospital coming home only to fitfully sleep before going back in groggy early mornings.

November through December after he had been moved to OHSU in Oregon, I packed a duffle and literally camped out by his bedside not wanting him to be alone … and needing to be with him for as long as I could be. It was emotional. It was healing. It was scary. It was liberating. We were both going home … but to separate homes, where we would live separate lives until Yeshua brings us together again. Will we know each other when we meet again? Yes; we believe so – Yeshua was easily recognizable when he rose in his eternal body, so it stands to reason that we, too, will recognize each other when we get our eternal bodies. But our lives will be different because the realm in which he now lives – and in which I will eventually live in too – is different than what we experienced here on earth.

And so, looking back on the past year, I am reminded of the MANY LOVING things said and done, and I am thankful that Elohim favored me with 44 years of a good marriage to a good man who was a joy and gave me joy. 2018 was 97% GOOD and that is what I will take away with me when it fizzles out at midnight tonight.

And I will embrace ALL that 2019 will bring me. Because that is what my husband would want me to do. By the grace of Elohei I will.

THE SHEPHERD’S STAFF

I woke up this morning around 4:30 a.m. feeling there was something left undone. What that ‘loose end’ was I did not know. So I began to pray. I prayed for the people I know and love; who I have recently learned are struggling with serious illnesses and did not want to burden me with their sad news in the midst of my recent sorrow: 2 are suffering bouts of pancreatitis and didn’t want to mention it to me because of our recent struggle with it – and probably because they have recently seen how serious pancreatitis can get and where it can lead. Though their situations were clearly brought on by alcohol, and my husband’s was not … well, they need prayer: so I prayed for them, hoping they will do what needs to be done medically and seek Elohim for salvation. The other 2 have been told they have cancer. Well, again, they need salvation. So I prayed; and I prayed hard and for results.

And then I realized that Elohim was dealing with me also.

I don’t need salvation, that is already secure, but what I did need was a clearing of accounts – a complete wiping clean of the wrongs done me and my husband. Though I had forgiven verbally and on paper in writ because I know I have to do that in order to successfully move forward and not get lost in mourning, I had not really forgiven in my heart because my sorrow is so great, so raw; and my feelings of righteous anger is so valid. But I listened to Elohei this morning as He spoke a soothing balm to my wounded soul. My desire is to be the woman He created me to be, to be His example and His ambassador as I finish out my walk of life on this earth before I join my husband in that glorious celestial home that waits me. I cannot be the woman He desires me to be, and I cannot be His example or His ambassador, and I may even jeopardize my entry into His celestial kingdom if I refuse to submit to true forgiveness: I must truly forgive and stand aside to allow Him to work in the situation – and as He works, I will stop feeling anger or bursting into tears every time I think of/catch a glimpse of those 2: I may even, through the grace of Elohei stop feeling anything at all towards either of them over time. He has already begun doing that, and Candy’s letter the other day was a start in the right direction (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/12/dreads-justice-and-cutting-ties.html) – her recent actions on my behalf will not change the disastrous facts, and my husband will not miraculously be coming back through the front door, but she is contrite and wrongs are being corrected as humanly possible. Yeshua is looking out for me and He is gently prodding me with His Shepherd’s staff to get out of life’s weeds, back on track, and stay on the straight and narrow path that leads to life. And I am thankful for that gentle prod.

The simplistic understanding of the dictionary definition of “forgive” is “to stop blaming”: but forgiveness actually goes deeper than that. To forgive someone means that you release them from the weight of the penalty they deserve for the hurt and harm they have caused you; harmful hurt done either knowingly or unknowingly. The benefits of true forgiveness are gifts to both the giver and receiver. Because to stop the blame and grudges … no matter how valid … and to forgive, ultimately releases us from resentment and allows us to experience freedom and peace; and it lifts the heavy weight of recriminating burden off the shoulders of the oppressor. Yet knowing this to be true, we still struggle with forgiveness (1) because we want our tormentors to know that we want them to suffer for what they have done to us (2) we feel righteously vindicated in any punishing action we take towards our oppressors. But, if we claim the Name of Yeshua as our banner, and if we claim kinship with Him as sons and daughters of the father, then we MUST forgive – not so much for the sakes of those that have done us great, and oftentimes, irreparable harm, but for our own sakes; for the simple reason that God has forgiven us when we did not deserve forgiveness. And living in His forgiveness is where peace is found.

for·give/fərˈɡiv – verb; stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Synonyms: pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve