HIDDEN TRIGGERS

All I wanted to do was browse my cookbook binder and pull some menus together ...

I had worked through January to August, and opened September's binder AND WAS BLINDSIDED by hidden triggers.

Moving on, moving forward, and rebuilding is not as easy as people seem to think it is.

Triggered by opening the cookbook binder …

Peace Health Dietitian papers: they were worthless – Bob could not eat anything they were suggesting.

I was really caught off guard; I had forgotten all about those papers – I hadn’t seen them in 19 months.

All the angry emotions were triggered. My heart is feeling the brokenness again. 

This is WHY I cannot even think about freeway driving.

Even when Bob was still here, with me, I hated freeway driving and avoided it whenever possible: I will go the extra miles and extra hour on the backroads.

But, now ... triggers randomly pop up ... and it just isn't wise to hit the freeway.

For any reason.

I know people don't "get it" - but, ((((I)))) get it.

If stumbling across hidden triggers in my cookbook binders can do me in, imagine what could happen on the freeway when I get blindsided by hidden triggers!

This "moving on, and moving forward" is going to TAKE TIME.

And I get tired of trying to explain what I don't even understand myself when it happens.

I only know that freeway driving - for me - is not going to be happening any time soon; if at all.

And no one has to understand "why?", but ME.