Once again, I have reached my peopling level – I have to back out of socializing for a while. Though all the socializing I am doing in through social media … I just can’t do it anymore, right now.
It’s the holiday season, and it is showing with all the rude behaviors and insensitive actions that an oppressive lockdown can breed in society.
I just can’t people right now.
And I need to rethink some of the Groups I have joined over the months; some of them really have become very antagonistic and unkind. Most are crankily godless in character, and those who claim to be Christian … are anything BUT: they fully embrace the world, and a cranky worldview.
I don’t need that right now.
I unsubbed from 2 of the last night – it felt good; I felt liberated. I need a forum in which I can be free to express me. I’m not very good at being intentionally stepped on … or tethered.
And in all honesty, most Groups are started by people who really don’t fit in (they have a bone to pick with life in general)/start a Group they claim is inclusive (as long as everyone views life through their lens)/run the Group like a dictator (demands absolute submission to dictates)/eventually end up with a bunch of robots (other people scared to be cast adrift because they don’t fit in either).
I KNOW THIS: I’ve been on and off social media for 16 years.
None of that works for me.
Once in a while I connect with a group … but that’s pretty rare. And some, like the two I left last night, have become battlegrounds since the covid madness.
I don’t want caught up in that.
So, it’s time to start rethinking, rearranging, regrouping, and restructuring.
Yesterday was a hard day.
I woke up in a lot of pain; and I had a fella from Cole’s Appliances Repair coming to the house anywhere between 1 PM and 5 PM.
I needed prayer support; I live by prayer.
Big time.
I posted a prayer request on my personal FB Page – and on a few Groups (not on all; because all do not allow videos): oh, boy! BIG MISTAKE!
Some did do as I asked; I am thankful.
Some gave unsolicited advice – based on their own fears that were triggered.
Some took offense at the very suggestion of prayer over science … again, overreacting.
Some Group moderators removed the post entirely stating “no self-promotion is allowed”.
When did asking for prayer and saying 'thank you', become self-promotion???
Very few read what I had posted with the vid; very few actually paid attention to the situation.
99% were more concerned with their own opinions and conclusions as to what the problem could be, and how I should best deal with it.
After repeating time and time and time again, that I had seen a doctor – was diagnosed with sciatica pain (I have always dealt with arthritis, even as a kid); and was doing what I am supposed to be doing … people were still pushing their agenda as to what I should do.
The message came through loud and clear: they thought they knew me better than me.
When I replied that I did not have a blood clot, as everyone seemed to think I should have to ease their minds … I was told that I should not be frustrated by all the voiced concern of the replier’s, but {understand} they meant well.
Really???
How many times do I have to repeat that I know what I am suffering with and I do not have a blood clot? That I have seen a doctor, and am now asking for prayer, also?
The lack of understanding was not on my end!
It was unbelievable.
Next time, I will stick to posting my requests on my personal Page where people actually know me; and know what I am asking help for.
I had woken up in pain. Even so, I cleared the sink undercabinet to make the fella’s job a little easier for him; that task took all of 2 minutes, but that was all my left leg could tolerate before it spasmed, seized up, and forced me to lie down again.
I was in mass pain, asking for help (asking for help does not come easy to me!) because I had a fella coming to the house; and I needed to be able to stand on my sore leg long enough for him to dink around locating the problem, listen to him tell me what the issue with my dishwasher is and what needs fixing, and pay him … I had no idea how long that will take … and I was taken to task and told to shore others up so they don’t get their feelings hurt.
It was unbelievable.
In Groups that put themselves forward as “understanding” & “helpful”; “empathetic”, “encouraging”, “supportive”, and “non-judgmental”.
I won’t be making that mistake again.
Lesson
learned, forgiveness employed: and moving on.
The fells from Cole’s did come around 5 PM; gave an assessment of what the problem could be – got right on it, explained everything to me as he worked; and replaced the culprit 😉
Before the fella left, he put the dishwasher through a cycle, and we both hoped I’d wake up to a dry floor in the morning 😊 If the floor is dry in the morning, it’s fixed; if not, he’d have to come back and dig deeper into the issue.
After he left, I went back to the bedroom and laid down; thankful that though my leg did hurt and start to seize with the pain, I was able to stand and pay attention without gritting my teeth too hard (a total of 15 minutes; the fix was speedy). I started, and finished, reading a book ... ate a quick bowl of Top Ramen/drank some ginger-water; and went to sleep praying the issue had finally been resolved.
This morning I woke up to a dry floor; and it has been dry, all day long.
((((HALLEJUAH!))))
I feel very thankful and blessed; I feel Yeshua has been looking out for me, as I do not think I would have been able to deal with this issue earlier in this 23¾ month timespan of constant upheavals and life adjustments.
If, in 12 months the piece goes out again … I know who to call, and how much $$$ to set aside (I did have it available, yesterday, thank God 😉).
Tonight, I am reflecting on the time that has passed since Bob left Earth in order to expand my shrunken world: I’m looking towards better days and wider horizons.
People can come along for the ride … or they can get out of my way.
(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/12/bob-me-then-n-now.html)
(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/12/such-short-period-of-time.html)
Today, I was able to make it 'til 4 PM before using any Ibuprofen - and that's a big deal - so, while my body is healing, I’m steadily working my way through the books I bought this Summer 😉
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