Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Saturday, November 14, 2020

EYE IN THE SKY

 The morning sky seemed to have eyes …

The weather has been foul, here.

Gray, cloudy sky; blue peeking through.

Cold river winds; bowing trees, and vigorously shaking leaves free from rattling limbs.

Chilling rainfall that barely takes a break before it falls again from the angry sky in slanting slashes.

It’s almost as if nature, too, is upset with what is darkly unfolding across America as the insane demonrat coup mocks reality; as it drunkenly shows its ass.

It’s a National disgrace that the obama-clinton-pelosi-biden-harris charade has gone as far as it has gone.

biden putting the 'dem' in dementia. biden will be as legitimate as obama thinks he, is. It’s shameful: biden is in full dementia mode.

If the demonrat cartel is successful in their staged coup, biden will be seated because he was promised the seat when he stepped aside in 2008 to allow obama to be placed in 2009 – that was the deal with both biden and clinton.

The demonrats (the same party that violently punishes anyone who uses ‘male’ and ‘female’ gender notations) is intent on pushing “a female” – any female into the Oval Office: they have chosen this parody of their female ideal. harris, with the man neck, is already behaving as if biden (dementia poster boy with one foot in the grave, and another on a banana peel) is dead.

If biden does actually die, there will probably be a cat-fight between pelosi and harris; as both, rush to plant their self-important asses into the Oval Office seat.

They have promised more violence if this coup does not go through, as plotted and scheduled.

An angry slut with a man neck … and the whiney nasal voice. It will be years of HELL, looking at and listening to this thing; that is confused as how to pronounce its own name.

The pretend president, obama’s puppet/biden, is already issuing orders to expect mandated covid testing, national mask mandates, and the threat of a nationwide lockdown – beginning January 20, 2021.

And any governors resisting his mandates will be pressured into compliance.

Any legal “white” citizens resisting his mandates will be snitched on by neighbors/family/friends … losing jobs, homes, companionship, and life; as we have already seen happen over the spring and summer months of 2020. Apparently covid-19 is only an 'old white person' virus that selectively breezes right past unmasked people of color.

People, like me, will be branded “enemy of the state”.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFKDyVPkonc)

I’m okay with that label: I wear it boldly.

There is no shame is being right, and being free.

I will not be forced to wear a mask, and I will never be forced to pay into obamacare – or any insurance, for that matter – that mandates my $$$ funds abortion and gender-bender surgeries.

I will never be forced to bend a knee to racist doctrine.

I will never agree that it is {humane} for the mentally ill and violently criminal elements of society to roam homelessly – or to erect homeless camps in neighborhoods, where the vulnerable (as in babies, children, and elderly) are easy prey.

Small rural towns, hit hard by the demonrat politics that have destroyed their way of living, have been overtaken by demonrat {leadership} that is brazenly taking government funds to establish homeless ‘tent cities’ in city parks, next to city playgrounds, and in public fishing areas … again, where the vulnerable will be – and a police monitoring will NOT be.

MPO is that if city council members take the $$$$$$$ for homeless camps – the camps should be erected ON THEIR PROPERTY, and monitored at their expense. If the camps “are perfectly safe” … then there should be no issue with the city council members unlocking their “privacy gates” to them, and setting them up on a small patch of their personal property.

The police will answer a complaint call from a city council member; and they “haven’t got the man power” when a private citizen (who pays their pay tab!) calls with the same complaints.

America is being thrust into a European Hell.

I unequivocally denounce the obama-clinton-pelosi-biden-harris cartel, and refuse to acknowledge their coup as a legit win.

And even if the worst happens, come January, biden will have no authority over my choices to live as a free woman. he can stutter and stammer his personal preferences; but that is where the buck stops.

obama, biden, pelosi ... and 'the 5' APOLOGIZE to muslim terrorists abroad - and infiltrating our cities ... while condemning and holding legitimate Americans hostage in thier homes over a viral threat blown out of proportion in bogus fear tactics. No one can convince me the 2020 Election was not rigged to reinstate another obama coup.

The same can be said for inslezze – he can {mandate} the assinine party line, but that’s as far as he can go in MY life: neither are my husband – I’m not interested in anything they have to tell me. I will live MY life the way ((((I)))) see fit. nazi tactics, and socialist/communist ‘mandates’ don’t impress me much. If anything … having something forced down my throat, makes me kick and punch back: they have no authority over me at all.

I am a free agent.

I intend to live a free life, as I always have.

I do agree that covid is a real thing, and should not be taken lightly.

HOWEVER, I refuse to allow fearmongering to scare me into hiding and stifling life affirming opportunities.

I have asthma; wearing a mask does not work for me.

I am a 23-month Widow (23 months today), trying to navigate unfamiliar territory alone – and stay upbeat and positive; being harassed by fearmongers with egomanic agendas is not helpful, or beneficial.

Thank God, I have good friends that have stood with me – do stand with me – and do not judge me or my decisions concerning my life.

I am thankful; and truly blessed.

I have never lived my life by fear: I refuse to live my life, now, by fear.

Life is meant to be lived.

And so, I will live MY life.

The way I see fit.

On my own terms.

In my own way.

With my own dreams.

We will all die, someday, of something we will not be prepared for – or want.

People are born; people die.

That is how life works; that is how life has always worked.

I am not afraid of death.

I know someone I love very much is waiting for me to join him.

When my times comes … I will go.

Without being afraid.

Realistically, people can’t change their fate.

They can just change the way they face it.

On another note, I traced, cut, washed, and stacked more plastic canvas snowflake shapes to be completed:

In one of my FB Groups, I was asked what I thought about moving forward and finding love; in the time we are living in.

I repeated what I have been saying for 23 months.

I am not looking for a boyfriend with benefits; and I am not looking for another husband … but, I am anticipating a platonic companion.

The concerns are the same.

I haven’t dated since 1974.

I haven’t had a single, male, friend for about 24 years (since Doug died); and even then, Bob knew my ‘friend’ fellas, and we all spent time together.

The world has changed since then.

In time, now, I don’t want to go through all the hassle of “vetting” a guy before I let him into my life.

And, even with vetting – people aren’t honest anymore: everything is a risky crap shoot now; I am not a risky gambler.

So, though people laugh at me … I am content to wait on Elohim’s timing to send a companion across my path. Elohim knows what I want: He will provide, if my want is part of His Will for my life.

If not, Yeshua will give me the strength and grace I need to walk this life alone.

People are always hung up on ‘love’ that leads to sex.

I’ve had that.

I’ve had a good marital love; and a wonderful, passionate sexual love with Bob.

Not looking for a repeat of marriage or sex with anyone else: there will never be another Bob for me.

But I do anticipate love, again.

Not the same as with Bob.

But, love in some sense.

There are 8 recognizable levels of love; and they all play a part in our life at some point. There are a few I wouldn’t mind … but there are 2 I will definitely never experience again.

Philia = this is an affectionate love between close friends; a love without romantic attraction. This is doable.

Pragma = this is an enduring love. This love belongs to Bob.

Storge = this is a familiar love. This type of love is a relationship that graduated from friendship to a sexual relationship. This is a ((surprise!)) love relationship because the people involved ofttimes cannot comprehend the moment they realized their friendship had morphed into an eros love situation – it is a gradual transition, without a planning. No; I do not even entertain the concept.

Eros = this is a committed romantic love; with sex definitely figured into the game plan. Eros generally leads to a traditional marriage scenario with procreation plans. This love belongs to Bob – and only Bob.

Ludus = is an uncommitted love; flirtatious, and in many instances deceptive. People who engage in this type of love will have many love engagements, but always remain foot-loose and fancy-free: uncommitted. No interested – lying is not my thing; neither is wasting time – mine or theirs.

Mania = this is an obsessive type of love; it leads to unwanted attentions, jealousies, or unhealthy possessiveness. This can be a dangerous game to play. Really not interested.

Philautia = in its healthy sense, self-love is a generalized love for oneself to build confidence: to be comfortable in one’s own skin; an easy, comfortable love that flows between family members and friends – a desire to share enjoyment of time and activity. This is doable.

The unhealthy flip-side leads to narcissism, which is destructive to one’s self … as well to the populace, in general.

Agape = this is unconditional love; a love that transcends all other love. It is totally selfless in every regard. This type of love is a love of choice in action – it does not involve emotions of familiarity. Agape love requires faithfulness, commitment, and the sacrifice of self – without expecting anything in return. I’ve had this with Bob. This is also doable with a companion.

I was making snowflakes, cleaning house, and on/off FB throughout the day.

In one instance where I was checking FB out again, I saw that I had a notification – so, I checked it out.

It was a confusing, frisky, message: {Remember me!?! Name is different, but I know its you!?! I loved you, you know!!!}

Then, he went on to tell me how he knew me …

He didn’t – he knew Bob’s first wife.

It was decades old pragma, eros, ludus, and mania being spilled out; waaay off mark.

I am not Gloria.

But, at least I had a good laugh 😉

Last night, I finished ‘The Dark Road Home’ amish novel; and I am starting a new novel read tonight:

New read today ...
Story plot.

My hip is still giving me pain, so I am swallowing ibuprofen periodically; and using Bob’s heating pad sporadically. The pain kinda backs off during the daytime hours when I am active; and it hurts like hell in the early morning hours: worsening when the weather turns cold and nasty outside.

I’ve been expecting some pain because there is no cushioning between hip and thigh bone; but man! The early morning pain literally has me sucking air through my teeth trying to work through the radiating burn.

It will take time and exercise to work it out; but it should back off.

I hope so, because there are times I really want to scream.

LOUD

Meanwhile, I believe in Yeshua’s healing power.

I have been healed several times: Yeshua heals.

Bob was restored to life twice: Yeshua raises the dead.

I believe the Word.

I believe what I know.

I will wait on the Lord’s timing.



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