THIS VIRUS WILL PASS

I can’t spend a lot of time right now on this coronavirus.

Most people think this is a shameful thing to think – to feel – to say out loud.

But … I CAN’T.

I am still trying to come to terms with being a Widow.

I was raised military; but I buck following blindly.

My family background (before Bob) is sketchy … death is nothing new to me: I’ve seen it ALL, and have experienced death on every level; though no death ever affected me like the absence of Bob in my life.

I am STILL reeling from that.

Some days I’m good … other days, like when nonstop dramas and hysterics never let up – it’s hard to stay focused and I get stuck on second-guessing everything. That may be joke for the rest of you – but when there is NO ONE to help redirect and refocus your thoughts, it’s NOT ‘okay’. It's nothing to joke about. It's frustrating to deal with, and a little scary to be feeling.

All my life, until 15 months/12 days/9 hrs. & 29 minutes ago, I NEVER second guessed anything I thought, said, or did. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. I was focused ‘like a laser’ Bob used to teasingly say. Things have changed. A lot. Squirrely people (all over the place) annoy the hell out of me – and now I have become a squirrely person. I don’t like it.

I don’t like being hemmed in.

I don’t like having thumb screws applied - especially by Big Brother.

I don’t like being at loose ends when my thought process gets fucked with.

So, aside from posting links to my Blog – where I post pictures and such – I’m seriously practicing social distancing: from social mediums (FB, news outlets, gatherings. ect.).

I don’t want updates on conflicting and confusing coronavirus “updates” – I am confused enough, trying to heal from the greatest upset of my entire life: life without Bob is a confusion my heart & mind are having a hard time coming to terms with. I can’t deal with everyone else’s upsets right now.

I don’t care how that sounds.

I am still in survival mode – dodging fallout from the past 15 months.

THAT TAKES ALL MY ENERGY AND FOCUS. Hysterical trauma dramas set me back weeks - I am tired of finding myself back at Square #1 when second guessing kicks in and my focus is thrown for a loop.

I don’t want the added stresses of reading on family Pages that people I know, and love, are embracing socialism: that adds a whole new hurt that I just don’t want to feel right now.

I am an American. I am a Christian. I don’t want flagrant and misinformed socialist-communist-antiAmerican-babykilling-elderly, Christian, American abandonment twaddle in my face 24/7.

I have enough heartache to deal with right now.

I can’t spend a lot of time on coronavirus and the political hysterics everyone is caught up in.

The virus will pass: History tells us that.

History also tells us that those who willingly give up their freedom to chase after doomed political causes do not deserve freedom.

I choose freedom.

Freedom … in ALL it’s meaning, purpose, and intent.

And I don’t care if that labels me as being “selfish”.

{{Be Tolerant of Your Physical and Emotional Limits: Your feelings of loss will probably leave you fatigued. Your ability to think clearly and make decisions may be impaired. And your low energy level may naturally slow you down. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. Lighten your schedule as much as possible.

Ask yourself: Am I treating myself better or worse than I would treat a good friend? Am I being too hard on myself? You may think you should be more capable, more in control, and “getting over” your grief. These are inappropriate expectations and may complicate your healing. Think of it this way: caring for yourself doesn’t mean feeling sorry for yourself; it means you are using your survival skills.}}

We all, Widowed and Married and single people everywhere are concerned about the spread and the effects of the virus. However, things like this have been happening throughout the history of the world ... and life goes on.

There are many things we can do to protect ourselves from contracting the virus. The number one way is HAND WASHING with soap and water and not touching your face with unwashed hands. But you can still get outside and go for a walk. Play with your dog. Dabble at your hobby. Read a good book. Call friends. And all the other daily activities that make you smile.

Refuse to let every news story be a trigger.

Refuse to be a government pawn to save political careers.

And make good choices.

I TRUST ELOHEI WITH MY LIFE.

This virus emergency shall pass, and worrying about it does not make it go faster, staying busy and productive does!