TOMATO SOUP W/STAR ANISE

Pancreatitis is such an insidious thing. Chronic pancreatitis is a painful and unpredictable thing. Docs are stumped as to what brought on Hub’s condition, but stressors was the general consensus … and we have had lots of stressors since we moved here to Heron Pointe last Summer – 2 major pains in the ass, namely neighbor ron who instigated the August ridiculousness … and sour faced/attitude Park manager candy, who caused so much frustrated stress (and still does) that Hubs ended up in ER which led to 2 scary ICU visits, and subsequent lengthy hospital stays with continual flare-ups. Heron Point puts itself forward as a “very friendly place with very friendly people” … but that has not been our experience here; especially since candy became manager: I can’t wait to leave this hell hole. As soon as Hubs is on the mend, and our realtor finds another place to relocate, we are outta here.

Until then, spending so many days at the hospital is taking its toll in many ways – one of those ways being the family budget. I have been eating breakfast, lunch, (and sometimes dinner at the hospital café when I stay the night), but at $10 a meal, it adds up quickly … the cost is astronomical, and the food crappy! You would think that hospitals would serve healthy foods, but they don’t – it’s just overpriced fast food like any other place in town that serves fast foods guaranteed to land you in ER. I have had enough of ER!

So I have decided to make my own lunch and supper at home and pack it to the hospital; that makes sense economically as well as health-wise. Tomorrow I will be enjoying a tasty aromatic tomato soup (recipe below) made with the tomatoes I grew in my garden this year with a side shredded turkey/hard-boiled egg sandwich. Yummmm! Much, much better for my body than the fast food tasteless stuff served in the hospital café that is worse than ‘the golden arches’ ick I never could stomach. I need to stay healthy for Hubs so that when he comes home I can do what needs to be done for him and with him – can’t do that if my body is filled with junk foods that will harm it.

This practical recipe made with an exotic Chinese spice, the little hard star anise; and it is easy and delicious: perfect for a chilly Fall meal. Plus it packs … and freezes well too ;-)

TOMATO SOUP W/STAR ANISE ~6 servings

2 TBSP Vegetable Oil * 1 large Onion, chopped * 2 Celery stalks, chopped * 1 large Carrot, chopped * 3 pounds tomatoes, chopped (or 6 cups canned Italian plum tomatoes, undrained) * 4 cups Beef Stock * 12 whole Star Anise * 2 fresh Parsley sprigs

Heat oil in a heavy large saucepan over medium-low heat. Add onion and cook until translucent, stirring occasionally – about 10 minutes. Increase heat to medium. Add celery and carrot and cook until beginning to brown, stirring occasionally – about 5 minutes. Add tomatoes, stock, half of star anise and parsley; cover and simmer gently for 40 minutes to blend flavors.

Strain soup through a fine sieve into another saucepan, pressing solids to extract as much liquid as possible. Degrease soup, then bring to a simmer. Ladle into bowls. Garnish with remaining star anise and parsley.

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ACTS ~ Chapter 23

THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ACTS ~ Chapter 23

Paul looked straight at the council members and said, “Brethren, I have lived before Elohei with a good conscience until this day.” At this the high priest Ananias told those who were near to give a blow on the mouth. Then Paul said to him, “Elohim Himself with smite you, whitewashed wall! You sit here to try me according to the law, but contrary to the Law, you order me to be struck.”

The bystanders objected, ‘Do you dare revile Elohei’s high priest?’

“Brethren,” answered Paul, “I was not at all aware that he was the high priest. I know that it has been written, ‘You shall not speak evil of the ruler of your people.’” Then Paul saw that a part of the council was made up of Sadducees, and another part of Pharisees, he cried out, “Brethren, I am a Pharisee of the Pharisee stock, and I am here to be tried concerning my hope of the resurrection of the dead.”

At these words an argument arose between the Pharisees and the Sadducees, and the council was divided. For the Sadducees hold that there is no resurrection and no angel or spirit, whereas the Pharisees confess faith in both. The meeting became very noisy. Some of the scribes belonging to the Pharisees argued, ‘We find nothing evil in this man. Maybe he has had an angel or a spirit speak to him. Why not? Let us not fight against Elohei.’ As the debate became very heated, the colonel, fearing that Paul might be torn to pieces by them, ordered his soldiers to take him by force from among them and bring him back to the barracks. On the following night Adonai came to his side and said, “Paul, be brave, for you will be MY witness in Rome, just as you have given a full account of Me in Jerusalem.”

When the day dawned, some of the Jews came together and formed a conspiracy, placing themselves under an oath not to eat or drink until they had killed Paul. There were more than forty who took this oath. They came to the chief priests and elders and said, ‘We have taken a solemn oath not to taste any food till we shall have put Paul to death. We therefore ask you, together with the council, to get the colonel to bring him down to you tomorrow on the pretext that you want to examine his case more fully. And before he gets near to you we shall be waiting to kill him.’ It happened that a son of Paul’s sister learned about this ambush, so he came over to the barracks and told Paul. So Paul called one of the captains to him and said, “Take this young man to the colonel, for he has something to report to him.” Then he brought him to the colonel, saying, ‘Paul, the prisoner, called me over and requested me to bring this young man to you, for he has something to tell you.’ The colonel took him by the hand and, withdrawing to one side, said to him privately, ‘What is it that you have to tell me?’ So he said, “The Jews have agreed to make this request of you, that you bring Paul to the council tomorrow as though they were going to examine his case more accurately. Do not let them persuade you, for more than 40 men are lying in ambush for him, having taken an oath not to eat or drink till they have put him to death. And they are all set, waiting for your move.’ The colonel then dismissed the young man with the strict advice, ‘Do not tell anybody that you have given me this information.’

Then the colonel called two captains to him and said, ‘Make ready 200 foot soldiers, also 70 horsemen and 200 spearmen, to leave for Caesarea at 9:00 tonight. And provide mounts for Paul to ride and take him safely to Felix, the governor.’ He also wrote a letter as follows, ‘Claudius Lysias, to the most excellent governor, Felix – Greetings! This man had been seized by the Jews and was about to be put to death by them, when I came on them with my regiment. I rescued him because I had learned that he was a Roman. I wanted to know what charges they had against him, so I brought him before their council. I learned there that he was accused of matters pertaining to their Law, and that he had not been charged with anything that was punishable by death or even imprisonment. And when I was told that the Jews were about to carry out a plot against this man, I at once sent him to you and gave orders to his accusers to appear before you and make their charges against him.’

CLAUDIUS LYSIAS

ROMAN GOVERNOR FELIX

The soldiers therefore, according to orders, took Paul and brought him by night to Antipatris. Then, on the day after, they sent the horsemen to go with him while they themselves returned to their quarters. When they came to Caesarea the letter was given to the governor, and Paul was also presented to him. When the governor had read the letter he asked what province he was from, and was told that he was from Cilicia. ‘I will give you a full hearing.’ He said, ‘when your accusers have come.’ And he gave orders that he be kept in custody in Herod’s palace.

HEROD’S PALACE – some ‘prison’, huh?

               

**ACTS 21 & 22: http://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2018/11/the-gospel-according-to-acts-chapters.html

FALL COLORS SWADDLING BLANKET PATTERN

                                  

With Hubs being in and out of the hospital so much, and with us using the hospital Bridge Program to pay for all the hospitalization and doctor appointments, I felt that I should do something by way of a payback – money is out of the question; if we had a million dollars, we wouldn’t be using the hospital Bridge Program. While I was visiting Hubs one day, a nurse saw me reading a novel covered by one of the book covers I had crocheted for myself and asked if I had made it … I said, “Yes, I did – we were doing the PNW Bazaar circuit before our lives took a sharp turn south”. And she asked if I would be interested in using my talented skill to make dontable items for the hospitals beneficiary program for patients that need handmade things like hats and blankets. I said yes in quick reply. That IS something I CAN DO … and I already have several of those items in my bazaar bin cache already made and waiting for someplace to go ;-)

Last night I finished work on this baby blanket and just finished weaving in the ends a few minutes ago. A swaddling blanket is just a small baby blanket; lightweight, soft, and warm. Generally about a square in dimensions measuring 48”x48” sq. inches (blanket shown is quite a bit smaller). Cost varies between $15 and $50 for manufactured swaddling blankets that don’t look half as nice as something homemade: MPO. I have no idea yet what it will cost me in materials to make my blanket because though the yarn has never been used, it is not newly purchased and the receipt has long been shredded with the other paper refuse I shred and put in my garden beds.

I am posting the original pattern below, from my ‘Jack Frost’ vol. 47 pattern book, but I have made personalized changes to my swaddling blanket while using the original pattern … as I always do, whatever I make. I always like to put my own signature on everything I make ;-)

CARRIAGE COVER BLANKET (original pattern; Jack Frost design)

Materials: 1 pair #3 knitting needles, 14’ Length; Jack Frost Pompadour (or Paradise) yarn, six count 3-3/4 oz. skiens

Size: 28’ x 28”

With needles, cast on 164 sts. Knit 34 rows garter st. Then start pattern as follows:

ROW 1: K 23, *K 6, P 2, repeat from * 13 times; K 29.

ROW 2: K 23, P 118, K 23.

ROW 3: Repeat row 1.

ROW 4: K.

Above 4 rows form Pattern. Repeat them until piece above garter st rows measures 27 inches – finish by knitting 34 rows garter st for edging. BO

pattern in progress

A very simple pattern that looks very nice when completed :-D

Financial Labyrinth

I was up at 4:30 a.m. this morning and at the hospital by 7:30 a.m., but didn’t get to spend much time with my luv because the day was ate up with appointments to discuss financial arrangements for everything the docs want to do that we simply cannot afford: it all sounds good and the docs feel good when they are telling it to us, but most of it is out of our reach unless we can tap financial resources to pay for all of it. I talked with the hospital social worker twice today – the first time she was not really understanding what we are dealing with and was kinda talking down to me like I was a spoiled simpleton telling me, “I deal with people every day/all day who really have nothing – zero – you have resources to draw from …”; I pretty much tuned her out at that point. It was clear she was ignorant of the grand scope and severity of the situation. But when I spoke with her the second time she was a little more compassionate and had been schooled by her co-worker as to what we are actually dealing with … and ended up in tears while going over “the plan” and sheaves of financial resources with me (pancreatitis is not something that goes away short of an honest-to-God miracle, and it eventually leads to death: it is a constant in-and-out of the hospital wasting disease that, unless Elohim favors Hubs, will rack up millions of dollars in medical care before he passes into glory). We don’t have millions of dollars. She was so repentant of her previous behavior, I actually felt sorry for her, and ended up soothing her!

Hubs has passed the critical stage this morning and the hospital staff inserted a feeding tube and moved him upstairs this afternoon before I left to come home. He will be kept a bit longer to get him started on a supplemental liquid diet in hopes of getting the pancreas well enough to get in there and drain those cysts  don’t know what else will happen, but that much I do know because it was stated to us this morning. They will also be keeping him to monitor how his body reacts to the tube feeding. Then when it is time to release him … again … I will be schooled in how to do the tube feeding at home for home care; it is not a forever thing, but probably for 6 to 8 weeks to calm his pancreas down enough to hopefully get the surgery he needs.

Then when I got home and collected the mail I whooped for joy when I read this letter that said: ((((APPROVED)))) This is a HUGE load off our shoulders …

Doing the happy dance :-D

HAPPY TOGETHER

Living with the painful unpredictably of pancreatitis is hard. Real hard. It is a hard-to-predict, roller-coater-like condition that changes the entire life of not only the person suffering from it … but also if the family that is going through the condition and circumstances with their loved one.

I did not marry my husband knowing that he would 44 years down the road be struggling with this debilitating illness; Bob’s condition hit him suddenly in August after a stressful inflammatory encounter on our front porch with our Park manager that landed him in ER the following afternoon: there was absolutely no warning – no familial history, and no genetic marks to look for and be prepared for. Bob was originally diagnosed in August with gall bladder malfunction, and all the docs were going with that until his recent hospitalization, where the surgeon ruled out gall bladder complications completely, and said that diagnosis was totally wrong … no indication there was ever a need for gall bladder surgery; he didn’t understand why it was even suggested. Bob was also put on 2 heart medications he DID NOT NEED that were literally killing him … causing frightening blackouts and seizures that landed him in the hospital: all those have been put aside too after Wednesday’s ER visit (he was admitted to ER via ambulance when he started having severe chest pains IN the doctor’s office during his scheduled appointment – later told NOT a heart attack, but rather a ‘chest wall pain’ that mimics a heart attack; brought on by the acute pancreatitis. Before the ambulance arrived he was given 2 nitro pills BY the doctor herself as a precaution!). And people wonder why we are skeptical of doctors and their diagnosis’s!

When we were told Bob has acute and chronic pancreatitis, we, like everyone else assumed it is a disease related to acute alcoholism – and we were quick to let everyone know that THAT could not possibly be the reason Bob is suffering; he does not drink heavily … and has not since 1981. And yet, even among doctors, such as we have run across in ER, there is still a stigma attached to the diagnosis and that is the first question asked. It appears that Bob is suffering from {idiopathic pancreatitis}, which means that while he is FOR SURE SUFFERING this miserable condition, there is no apparent cause as to ((((WHY)))) he is suffering the horrific recurring flare-ups and misery associated with them after all systematic diagnostic evaluations have been administered and reviewed. He does have biliary sludge in this gallbladder … but NO stones – and the stones is what would normally be causing all the pain and inflammation he is suffering. Docs are scratching their heads and a recommendations to be admitted to OHSU (the Oregon Health & Science University Hospital) is on the table. We aren’t even arguing the suggestion – Bob needs help, we need answers, and if OHSU can and will pay for his consultation and following procedures … then we are going to go for it and I will learn to handle the frantic and dangerous city driving of Portland, Oregon, which I loathe and avoid at all costs. I WILL learn because we are going through this thing together. And ‘together’ means we will both be facing our scary situations and leaning into them to overcome them.

And we will not allow acute and chronic pancreatitis to destroy our life together, or rob us of our joy in each other. That can happen as frustrations – which is a stressor, and stressors are to be avoided – crops up on any given day. We cannot allow that if Bob is to get better and hopefully beat the devil at his own game.

Life is hard right now. But it WILL get better. There will BE good times in our life again once we get a firmer grip on this thing and learn how to roll with the changes – in diet, in behavior, in character, in public – in every nuance and situation that makes up the tapestry of our life.

We are going through this together, and THAT knowledge coupled with prayer and keeping faith in our Faith will help us get through this trying time.

Together.

CHANGES

The leaves on the fancy hybrid maple tree outside the livingroom window is changing into its pretty Fall colors before dropping them completely off …

… and it’s raining – has been steadily raining since Wednesday; Fall has arrived.

I like this time of year; some people don’t, but I do. I like the crispness in the air that pinks the cheeks, the cooler weather settling in; which means I can breathe easier, the beautiful leaf colors that pop – making the heavy gray days tolerable, and the scent of approaching Winter hovering on the breeze. The other day I even caught a quick scent of someone burning a wood stove – not in the Park I am sure, but nearby, and drifting on the air currents passing over us.

It’s been eventful here, but we are learning to lean into the onslaught and push forward. Hubs is still struggling with this illness, but this is our life now and we must learn how to roll with the punches and get back on our feet to defy the foul enemy which whispers fear into our hearts. This we can do with the help of the Ruach Ha’Kodesh, Who gently guides us, teaches us, and tells us that Elohei loves us: “be strong and of good courage, for you are His – and He will not fail you. Has His Word not said so, and has He not shown you in times past that He will deliver you out of the hand of the fowler?”

We have no one BUT Elohei on our side walking with us through this dark and scary time which seems always to lead to the edge of the valley of death. Right now, Hubs is suffering with pancreatic pain which is making life difficult to bear. We were told with last week’s hospitalization that there is no need for gall bladder surgery (((YAY!))), and 2 days ago we were told that his heart, kidneys, and liver are all where they need to be too ‘for a man’ his age (((YAY!))) – all glory and honor goes to Yeshua for His healing grace, and to Elohim for His favor :-D Hub’s blood count is still very low making him severely anemic, and he is having trouble eating and keeping nourishment in his body due to the pancreas flare-ups, but we know that Elohei knows all about that and will take care of it like He has the rest if we rest in Him and do not allow fear to take root and spread its poisonous tentacles in our lives. Hubs continues to go to the scheduled appointments with various docs and physicians, but they really can’t help him – he goes mainly to say he went and to shut everyone up, but he knows that they cannot help him; only Elohei can help him. The doctors and physicians are only guessing at what they can do, but Elohei knows EXACTLY what needs to be done. People ask, “Then why doesn’t God heal him?” Who are we to ask such questions? And with such mockery? Perhaps it is for others that he is suffering so – one of his night nurses during last week’s hospitalization during a severe flare-up, was a young woman we knew as a baby and child who has since forsaken the Faith: Hubs and she talked many times about many things, including Faith … perhaps their coming together as they did was not mere happenstance – perhaps it was supernaturally arranged and perhaps she may start making changes in her life that will greatly benefit her. Who knows? Only Elohei KNOWS why any of us go through anything we go through. And we can only go through it with Him.

Changes.

They’re hard. Sometimes very hard …

But we don’t have to go through changes alone. This we KNOW, and that makes it all bearable ;-)

Since Hubs has been spending so much time in/out of ER and the hospital, a nurse noticed MOD paperback novel cover and asked if I made it; I said, “yes, and that we usually do the Bazaar circuit where I do a pretty brisk business selling my original designs, but this year that is out because Hubs is so sick.” I said too that if this is our life from now on (at least until Elohei heals him), Bazaars may be a thing of the past. Then she asked if I had ever considered donating items, and that the hospital has a program that accepts handmade items such as baby hats, chemo hats, baby blankets and chemo blankets. I readily agreed – this is one way I can repay some of the $$$$$’s the Bridge Program is forking out for our medical expenses. I called the foundation and signed on ;-)

This is the baby blanket I am currently working on:

When it is finished, I will drop it off with the lapghans I am digging out of my Bazaar Cache to donate.