CHANGES

The leaves on the fancy hybrid maple tree outside the livingroom window is changing into its pretty Fall colors before dropping them completely off …

… and it’s raining – has been steadily raining since Wednesday; Fall has arrived.

I like this time of year; some people don’t, but I do. I like the crispness in the air that pinks the cheeks, the cooler weather settling in; which means I can breathe easier, the beautiful leaf colors that pop – making the heavy gray days tolerable, and the scent of approaching Winter hovering on the breeze. The other day I even caught a quick scent of someone burning a wood stove – not in the Park I am sure, but nearby, and drifting on the air currents passing over us.

It’s been eventful here, but we are learning to lean into the onslaught and push forward. Hubs is still struggling with this illness, but this is our life now and we must learn how to roll with the punches and get back on our feet to defy the foul enemy which whispers fear into our hearts. This we can do with the help of the Ruach Ha’Kodesh, Who gently guides us, teaches us, and tells us that Elohei loves us: “be strong and of good courage, for you are His – and He will not fail you. Has His Word not said so, and has He not shown you in times past that He will deliver you out of the hand of the fowler?”

We have no one BUT Elohei on our side walking with us through this dark and scary time which seems always to lead to the edge of the valley of death. Right now, Hubs is suffering with pancreatic pain which is making life difficult to bear. We were told with last week’s hospitalization that there is no need for gall bladder surgery (((YAY!))), and 2 days ago we were told that his heart, kidneys, and liver are all where they need to be too ‘for a man’ his age (((YAY!))) – all glory and honor goes to Yeshua for His healing grace, and to Elohim for His favor :-D Hub’s blood count is still very low making him severely anemic, and he is having trouble eating and keeping nourishment in his body due to the pancreas flare-ups, but we know that Elohei knows all about that and will take care of it like He has the rest if we rest in Him and do not allow fear to take root and spread its poisonous tentacles in our lives. Hubs continues to go to the scheduled appointments with various docs and physicians, but they really can’t help him – he goes mainly to say he went and to shut everyone up, but he knows that they cannot help him; only Elohei can help him. The doctors and physicians are only guessing at what they can do, but Elohei knows EXACTLY what needs to be done. People ask, “Then why doesn’t God heal him?” Who are we to ask such questions? And with such mockery? Perhaps it is for others that he is suffering so – one of his night nurses during last week’s hospitalization during a severe flare-up, was a young woman we knew as a baby and child who has since forsaken the Faith: Hubs and she talked many times about many things, including Faith … perhaps their coming together as they did was not mere happenstance – perhaps it was supernaturally arranged and perhaps she may start making changes in her life that will greatly benefit her. Who knows? Only Elohei KNOWS why any of us go through anything we go through. And we can only go through it with Him.

Changes.

They’re hard. Sometimes very hard …

But we don’t have to go through changes alone. This we KNOW, and that makes it all bearable ;-)

Since Hubs has been spending so much time in/out of ER and the hospital, a nurse noticed MOD paperback novel cover and asked if I made it; I said, “yes, and that we usually do the Bazaar circuit where I do a pretty brisk business selling my original designs, but this year that is out because Hubs is so sick.” I said too that if this is our life from now on (at least until Elohei heals him), Bazaars may be a thing of the past. Then she asked if I had ever considered donating items, and that the hospital has a program that accepts handmade items such as baby hats, chemo hats, baby blankets and chemo blankets. I readily agreed – this is one way I can repay some of the $$$$$’s the Bridge Program is forking out for our medical expenses. I called the foundation and signed on ;-)

This is the baby blanket I am currently working on:

When it is finished, I will drop it off with the lapghans I am digging out of my Bazaar Cache to donate.